She shook her head.
“Very good then. You may leave, unless Fae has anything else to add?”
Fallon nodded. “Please leave this article. I think it could very well be the best piece you’ve written.”
Whitney smiled sheepishly and hurriedly scurried out the door, tail between her legs.
Once the door was shut, Payton cleared his throat. “Fallon? Are you ok?”
She nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “That was a close one.”
“Are you still sure this is the right choice?”
She nodded slowly. I was still a freaking statue, trying to make sense of all of the bull that had just flown through the office.
“Alright then. Next time the two of you need some alone time, do it when people aren’t snooping around like alley cats.”
“Sorry.”
Payton winked and for the first time since he’d walked into the office, his gaze shifted to mine. “You better take care of her.”
I exhaled, finally relaxing. “I will.”
Paton left us and I fell into the chair he had just vacated. “Payton knew all along?”
Fallon’s face said it all.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It didn’t seem important.”
“I’ve been walking on eggshells trying to watch myself around here and you didn’t think I’d like to know that the only other person that knew about your secret was someone I talked to every day, let alone my boss?”
“Can we just drop this for now?”
I sighed. “Yeah, sure. Do you want to come over tonight before my practice?”
“That sounds really nice.”
Finally, a smile started forming at the corners of Fallon’s pierced lips.
“Good.” I got up, made my way over to Fallon, and grabbed her shoulders. “I love you.” It was a statement that I needed to voice more often even though I didn’t always have the courage.
“I love you, too.” Relief settled into Fallon’s eyes and I went back to work with very little productivity, way too preoccupied by what I was going to do during lunch.
I typed up a text to Maverick.
Me: Are we still on for one?
Maverick: Sure thing, brother.
Me: Perfect, I only have an hour for lunch.
Maverick: No worries, my guy knows we’re coming. It’ll be quick.
Me: Awesome
Maverick: You sure you’re ready?
Me: I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.
Maverick: Good enough for me.
FALLON
We didn’t make it more than two steps into Dane’s apartment before we got into the conversation I had been dreading since the episode in my office earlier that day.
Dane and I sat on the couch and he grabbed my shoulders, concern and curiosity swimming in his gaze. “What does it matter, Fallon? Who will it really hurt if you come out and say who you really are?”
“You just don’t fucking get it, do you? Any of it!” I barked. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was over. I was Fae. It was the bed I’d made and I needed to lie in it.
He shook his head, defeated, letting his hands fall from my shoulders. “No,” he muttered, diverting his gaze to my trembling hands.
“It’s me. It will hurt me.”
He stared at me, mouth open, silent.
I took a few short breaths, cleared my throat, and decided to be honest for the first time since this whole Fae Dunham shitstorm had started. I wanted to be honest—not just with Dane, but with myself as well. “I’m scared of the person I became. Fallon is dead and I need her to be. What she was, what she did, what she was capable of—it all died that night in the bathroom of that cheap ass motel. When I woke up in that hospital bed, Sam yelling at me for being a selfish prick and my mom crying so hard it looked like she was convulsing, I knew I needed to make huge changes. I hated Fallon, but I couldn’t live with hating myself anymore. I thought that being Fae would fix it.”
I paused and grabbed Dane’s hands in mine. “It didn’t fix it,” I whispered.
“Then what do we do?”
“Don’t you see?”
He shook his head.
“I’m too far down this rabbit hole to climb out. There’s no saving Fallon and Fae. I have to choose one and be done with the other.”
Dane wrapped me in his arms as his husky voice softly whispered, “I don’t care what your name is, who you pretend to be, or if you come clean. None of that matters. I am in love with who you are behind closed doors, when we’re alone. Deep down, you are the girl of my dreams. I love you. Marry me.”
With that, he pulled a small box out of his pocket, shifted off the couch, and knelt in front of me. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. You won’t have to hide behind a name that you don’t want or one you made up. Take mine. Take me.”
All I could do was nod with tears streaming and mouth a yes as he slipped the beautiful white gold band with a haloed square stone onto my left ring finger.
“I love you.” My shaky voice cracked and I gripped Dane’s shirt, pulling his lips to mine. “Of course I’ll marry you! Yes!”
“I love you, too.”
I glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Dane, you have to get to practice.” He was already supposed to be at Colt’s house.
“Come with me.” He got up from the floor, extending his hand to me.
“Ok.” I got up, staring at the sparkling diamonds glimmering brilliantly on my hand. It didn’t feel real. I didn’t feel like I deserved any of this, but here it was, here he was, and holy crap—it was perfect.
We rushed down Colt’s basement steps to find the rest of the band members sitting on the old couch, waiting for us and slowly clapping as we made our way into the dim room. I heard a bottle of champagne pop as they rushed over to hug both Dane and me, and everyone yelled, “Congratulations!”
“Thanks, guys.”
“Welcome to the family, Fallon.” Maverick kissed me on the cheek before wrapping me in a huge bear hug.
“Thanks.”
“Alright, alright, let’s get to work.” Dane was beaming, standing next to his drum set. He winked at me while I took a seat on the lumpy couch.
I snapped a picture of my ring, captioned it ‘HOLY SHIT!’ in a text to Starr, and waited patiently for her to respond.
I swayed to the melody of a beautiful ballad, Dane’s eyes never leaving mine as he mouthed the words.
Stop my heart, inspire me
Take my breath away
Make me believe
I know there is beauty, I want to see yours
Be raw, open up
Let me see everything
Walk along the thin line of sanity
Dark and deep, cool and damp
The caverns of your soul
Ones left unexplored
That's where I belong
Cloak me in your imagination
Let me take it all in
Stop my heart, inspire me
Take my breath away
Make me believe that you love me
My phone buzzed in my hand, showing Starr was calling. “Excuse me, it’s Starr.”
They all nodded. I ran up the stairs and out to the front porch to sit in a wooden rocker. “Hey!”
“Holy fuck balls! What just happened?” Starr was screaming at an octave that only dogs could hear clearly.
“I found a guy.”
“No shit, Sherlock!”
“Pretty crazy, huh?”
“I’d say so!”
“I wish you were here.”
“Me, too. I’ll plan a trip up soon! I have to meet this…” She trailed off, waiting for me to finish with Dane’s name. I couldn’t believe it had been that long since Starr and I had talked, and it really made me feel crappy.
“Dane. His name is Dane. He is the drummer in a local band. I’m actually at their practice now.”
“Does he know?”
/> “Yes, he knows who I am.”
“Good. Then, as of right now, until further judgment is made, I approve!”
I giggled. “That’s a relief.”
“I gotta run, we’re trying out a new drummer tonight.”
My heart ached. “Yeah, ok. Good luck.”
“They’ll never be you.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re happy, that’s what really matters.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, bitch.”
DANE
Fallon made her way back down into the basement right as Colt took a call from our booking agent. I motioned for her to come and sit on my lap. She did, and right as her weight shifted onto me and her lips planted a gentle kiss on my cheek, my heart started pounding and I was up on fucking cloud nine. That ring on her finger, her right there, it was all just so right.
“Ok, that is incredible! Thank you for letting me know. Uh huh. Yes, of course we’ll be there.” Colt was pacing around the couch, biting his nails like he always did when he was nervous. When the call ended, Colt stopped in his tracks and just stared at his phone.
“Colt?” Maverick threw an empty water bottle, hitting Colt in the shoulder. His eyes shot up, wide as a slow smile rolled onto his lips. “Gonna tell us what Danny said?”
He looked down at his hands, which he clenched and unclenched nervously, his face as red as a college girl who’d just returned from Keith Richard's hotel room. After a moment, he looked up at us again, still unsure of what to say. “Um.” The pacing started again, Colt’s eyes darting from the blackened screen on his phone over to us.
“Come on, man, you’re acting like a teenaged girl who just saw One Direction walk across the street.” Rodney started laughing at Maverick’s comment and Colt finally snapped out of it.
“Well, you see, I heard a few days ago that a few of the bands had to pull out of the Underground Music Fest coming up this weekend.” Colt took a few slow, deep breaths. “And Danny just called to let me know that we got one of the slots.”
“What?” I jumped to my feet, sending Fallon laughing and stumbling a few feet in front of me.
“That’s incredible!” Fallon blurted out while the guys and I all shot looks of shock between us. “That show brings some incredible talent, and that means scouts. That’s where Regicide Assisted got discovered.”
Fallon’s face didn’t flinch and her smile never faded; her elation and excitement for my band’s biggest break was pure and unadulterated. I grabbed her hand, pulling her back toward me. “You’re incredible,” I whispered.
She wrapped her arms around me and looked back over her shoulder to the guys. “This is going to be your break, guys, I can feel it.” Turning back to look at me, she beamed. “I couldn’t be happier right now.”
“When?” Rodney looked like he was going to puke from the excitement and nerves clashing inside him.
“Three weeks.”
Fallon walked over to the couch after grabbing a beer. “Well, boys, I think you better get to playing. We have some work to do.”
She giggled and Maverick smiled over to her. “We?”
Fallon nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been there, done that. Don’t you want my professional opinion, for the two cents that it’s worth?”
Colt grabbed his guitar, throwing the strap swiftly over his head. “Fuck yeah! Let’s do this!”
Chapter Twenty
the beginning of an end
FALLON
The weeks leading up to the Underground Music Fest were crazy and simply amazing. I felt like I had snapped out of my rut and fallen right where I was supposed to be all along. Slowly, everyone except for Dane started calling me Fae. I had decided that I was going to embrace my new life and nickname. I dropped the Dunham and basically was waiting it out for Pearson to take over and make that last piece of my identity puzzle fall into place.
Dane put The Judge in park in front of my apartment building for the last time. “You ready?”
I nodded over at him and we both climbed out of the car. We walked into the office on the second floor of my building and I handed in my keys. The whole process of moving had only taken a few days; since Dane’s place was cheaper and closer to work, that’s where we decided to call home. And did it ever feel that way.
I was liberated and genuinely happy, but there was still one thing left to do: tell my mom. I had been dragging my feet on even telling her about Dane, let alone that I was about to become his wife, and honestly, I didn’t care. She was wrapped up in her life and her marriage and was probably happier without me, or at least not fighting with her husband as much.
As we made our way back into what was now our apartment, I felt like it was time.
“I’m going to call her.”
Dane glanced up from the worn out pages of Loving Mr. Daniels, which he was reading for the hundredth time. “Want me to go in the other room?”
I shook my head, taking a seat at the dining room table. Nervously, I dialed my mom’s cell.
“Hello?” My mom’s voice coming from the receiver made goose bumps spread down my arms.
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“Fine, sweetheart. It’s nice to finally hear from you.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy with work.”
“Tell Payton to cut you some slack from time to time.” I could hear my stepfather’s voice in the background: “When’s dinner?”
“Honey, I need to run. Sam’s hungry.”
“Mom, wait.” It was now or never.
“Yeah?”
“I met someone.”
“Oh that’s great, sweetie. You’ll have to tell me all about him sometime.”
“I’m engaged.”
A gasp and then silence.
“Mom?”
Sam’s voice boomed, “Woman! Get off the damn phone.”
“That’s wonderful. Have to go. Love you.”
Click.
I let my forehead fall onto the cool glass of the table, tears streaming down my face. I felt Dane’s hand rest on the back of my head, gently stroking my hair.
“I know the answer, but everything ok?”
I shook my head, more tears falling.
“Come here.” Dane pulled me up into his arms, leading me to the couch. We sat, my head on his shoulder, our fingers entangled.
“He’s such a bastard.”
“What happened?”
“He was just being a prick. He made her get off the phone to cook dinner.”
I felt Dane’s muscles stiffen at my words. “Should we do something?”
I shook my head. “There’s nothing to do. She won’t leave him and he doesn’t hurt her physically so it’s not like I can call the cops.”
Dane sighed. “Yeah.”
“Listen, if you’re not up to it, you—”
I put my finger over his lips; there was no way in hell I was missing his show that night. “I am going and that is final.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket with a text.
Starr: Hey bitch, I have a surprise.
Me: What?
Starr: I’m in Chicago.
Me: What the fuck? Where?
Starr: Heading over to the venue with the band our hot roadie is now working for.
Me: What band?
Starr: Don’t be mad.
Me: Ok…?
Starr: Lithium. They got added to the lineup for this music fest tonight and I tagged along to hopefully see you.
Me: Kenneth Rhodes is playing tonight at the Underground Music Festival?
Starr: Yeah.
Me: Fuck. So is The Hysterics, Dane’s band.
Starr: No fucking way! I’ll get to see you!
Me: You can’t tell Rhodes about me and Dane or that I’ll be there. Promise?
Starr: Yeah, promise. But how are you going to avoid him if you’re backstage with The Hysterics?
Me: I’ll have to.
Starr:
At least I’ll get to see you.
Me: Yeah! We’re heading that way soon.
Starr: Ok. Love you.
Me: Love you, too.
“Babe? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I looked up at Dane, kissed him on the cheek, and took in a deep breath. “Starr is in town with Lithium.”
“The drug?” Dane smirked, but I shot him a that-is-not-funny look. “Sorry. Your ex’s band?”
I nodded.
“And that’s a bad thing why? It’s not like he knows where you live anymore.”
“He’s playing the show tonight.”
“What?”
I nodded.
“The fucking Kenneth Rhodes is going to be playing the same show as my fucking band?” The excitement on Dane’s face was understandable but completely infuriating; this was not a good thing. “Why does it matter?”
“Because, I can’t see him.”
“Then don’t see him.”
“We’ll all be backstage. Someone that knows me might see me.”
“So we’ll make sure you’re discreet. It’s going to be fine.”
The calmness of Dane’s voice was helpful. My heart stopped thumping in my ears and my palms weren’t as clammy, but I was still nervous as shit.
“Promise?”
“Babe, I will not let anything happen to you. I can promise you that for sure.”
I planted a quick kiss on his plump lips before getting up from the couch. “I love you.”
He grabbed my hand, pulling me back down for one more sweet kiss. “Love you more.”
“I’m going to hop in the shower. We need to leave in an hour.”
I closed the door to the bathroom behind me, letting the steam fog up the mirror as I searched through the music on my phone to find something that would help me break out of this nervous funk and get back the excitement I needed to help support the guys. I finally stumbled on “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift and hit play before climbing into the scalding water. I washed and rinsed while bouncing, bobbing, and screaming along to the upbeat tempo of what I decided right then and there needed to be my new theme song.
I toweled off, still humming the catchy beat as Dane peeked his head through the door. “Rocking out in here?”
I nodded, throwing my towel playfully at him as he laughed.
“What?” I questioned.
The Hysterics Page 14