by Bobby D. Lux
Officer Hart shut the door. I sat down and kept my eyes on the door. This whole life-in-the-backyard thing was not going to work.
“Oh, come on,” Nipper said. “That is not fair at all. Why doesn’t he get a torture bath like we did? What, am I surprised at this point? Figures.”
“I guess he don’t need one,” Ernie said, while more diplomatic, he matched Nipper’s tone.
“Yeah, well, something stinks around here.”
The two of them dispersed to different spots in the yard. Nipper to the food bowl. Ernie to the opposing wall. I joined Nipper at the food bowl. He turned his body away from me to shield the food.
“You want to get out of here?” I said.
“I want to eat,” Nipper said, between bites.
“I’m not stopping you, Nipper. Just hear me out. I’m not saying I’m leaving forever, but there’s something I need to do. I need help.”
“Yeah, good luck with that,” Nipper said.
“I could use your help.”
“Like I said, good luck with that one.”
“Nipper-”
“What do you want from me,” Nipper said, looking up as food fell from his mouth. “You show up, Ernie likes you, you get my costume at the park. Scarlet likes you, and I’m left on the sidelines as the big punch line. I’m tired of being the joke, and with you around here I might as well be invisible, so do me a favor and don’t rub it in my face and just let me be. Is that too much to ask of the super dog?”
“Why don’t you come with me? I could use some backup.”
“Did you just hear what I said? Even if I knew where you were going, and why, and how, and on the miniscule chance that I wanted to go with you, I’m not going to be some dog’s rhythm section.”
“You wouldn’t be my rhythm section. It would be like our own patrol unit.”
“I don’t think so, Fritz.”
“Let me try to explain to you, Nipper. Before I was on the force, they had a dog named Lincoln. Before Lincoln, there was a dog named Hammer. Hammer was everything you could ask for in an officer to the letter, but this story is about Lincoln, the dog who had to follow Hammer. For reasons beyond his control, Lincoln spent the first weeks of his tenure trying to find the dog that he replaced. Can you imagine what that does to someone mentally? You want to do the best job you can, but you know that your reward is going to be a one way ticket to a demotion at best. At worst, he’d get moved to another department and all because he proved he was a capable officer.
“The memories of Hammer could never get far enough behind him. Everyone had a Hammer story; the time he did this extraordinary thing or the other time when he did something unbelievably brave. So Lincoln chose to do what he thought he was supposed to do: be like Hammer. He started taking risks on the job, he’d jump off things, he’d run harder than he should, and he’d make stupid choices to go for the glory. The result was that he went from being a highly skilled officer to someone who was accident prone, who got hurt, and who endangered people. So, sure, he earned a reputation as Hammer had, but it wasn’t the one he was seeking. Had he just been the best Lincoln he could, they would’ve forgotten about Hammer-”
“I get it,” Nipper said.
“I’m not finished,” I said.
“Be yourself and don’t try to be anyone else. I got it. Contrary to what you may think, I’m not stupid. And your little moral, it’s easier said than done.”
“Ernie’s gonna come with me.”
“Sure he is,” Nipper said, looking past me to Ernie. “Ernie, are you going with Fritz?”
“I don’t know,” Ernie said. “Where’re we going, Fritz?”
“We’re escaping to solve a case. You in?”
“What case?” Nipper said.
“The one I was on before I got sent here.”
“Aren’t the police already working on it?” Nipper said.
“Maybe. But I’m not. That’s the point. I’m going to get Clay. He and Scamper put me here and they don’t get to say where I spend the rest of my life. I do. So I’m going out there and I’m bringing them down. You want to come, Ernie?”
“Okay, sure. Sounds fun.”
“Fun?” Nipper said.
“Yeah,” Ernie said. “Doesn’t it?”
“Told ya, Nipper. I could use a smart dog out there with me, especially if Ernie’s all I got so far.”
Finally, I got a grin out of him.
Later, it was quiet inside and outside the Hart house. My eyes closed while my brain worked up a plan. Ernie was asleep, sprawled out on his back against the stucco. Nipper was wide awake. He approached Ernie and sat next to him. Nipper got up and paced around and sat next to Ernie again. Got up, walked, sat, and got up, all driving me nuts. Oh, just wake him up already. He sat one more time and gently pawed at Ernie.
“Hey,” Nipper said, whispering. He sat still for at least a minute before pawing Ernie’s arm. “Hey,” he said again, now pawing at Ernie’s shoulder.
Ernie’s eyes finally creaked open. He blinked a few times until he realized it was Nipper now disturbing him. This time, he didn’t startle and remained on his back. “What is it, Nipper? This is happening too many times.”
“Umm, did you need me for something?”
“I need ten hours where no one bothers me. That’s what I need from you right now.”
“Oh, I thought I heard you say my name.”
“Nope. I was dreaming of being at a sausage factory.”
“Cool.”
“You weren’t there. It was me and all the smoked sausages that, well, that I could dream of.”
“You sure you didn’t call for me.” Nipper said.
“Positive, Nipper. Maybe it was Fritz.”
“No. He’s sleeping, but hey, since you’re up already, do you have a minute?”
Ernie rolled over to his side and rubbed the side of his face with his arms. He wasn’t sleeping, but I’m not convinced he was awake either. “What’s up, buddy?”
“You’re really gonna go with him?”
“Sure. Why not? It’s been boring here anyway for too long. The people have been acting strange too. We’ll come back.”
“Aren’t you scared? I mean, these are bad dogs that he’s going after. Look what they did to his leg. He can barely run anymore.”
“He’s still a cop and I know my way around the streets pretty good. It’s where I’m from. Don’t get me wrong, I like it here, but out there is my home too.”
“Why does he want to get these dogs? I don’t see the big deal. He’s safe here.”
“Nipper, don’t you understand? As bad as you don’t want him to be here, he doesn’t want to be here even more. If I can help him get what he wants, maybe we all get what we want.”
“Everyone seems to like him. The people. The dogs at the park. Scarlet. You.”
“You stop right there. Ever since I’ve been here, it was Nipper and Ernie. You’re my buddy and nothing’s going to change that. What’s wrong with you, Nipper? This is our chance to have an adventure. Nipper and Ernie-”
“And Fritz.”
“Yeah. And Fritz. Yes, we could do it without you, but the thing is I can’t do it without you, so that’s it. I’m just gonna wake up Fritz and tell him, sorry pal, you’re on your own. You know he’s gonna be miserable which is going to make you miserable, which is going to make me miserable.”
“Wait,” Nipper said, as Ernie committed to his ruse by getting up on his feet, which for Ernie to stand at that late of an hour said something about his ability as a salesman, “you think I should go with you guys?”
“I think you should come with us,” Ernie said, getting ever closer to me.
“Hold on. Don’t wake him up, Ernie. I’m gonna go. Now, uh, you don’t worry. Just go get some sleep, okay? I’m gonna go. Wait a second; he’s got a plan for this thing, right?”
“Oh yeah, he’s got it all figured out. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m not worried, Ernie. I sleep
like a puppy.”
Nipper disappeared into the sanctity of his corner of the yard. Call me corny, but I opened my eyes in hopes to enjoy a moment with Ernie where we made eye contact. I hoped to share a synchronized head nod like a scene from a movie where the heroes acknowledge that a seemingly chaotic scene went exactly the way they planned it to. But no, Ernie was already back up against the stucco racing to catch up with his snores.
Instead, it was the scene in the movie where the hero was lulled into a false sense of security. He thought the foolproof plan he had devised was on the verge of being seamlessly rolled into action while his two mortal enemies were perched in the child’s fort one yard over spying on him and the two other dogs. The tiny one wanted to attack at that very moment, but the other one, the bigger and craftier one, he did not expect two other dogs. He’d been around long enough to know that it was the wise dog who regrouped and devised a better plan.
The large dog, while frustrated, was satisfied enough to know that his prey would be there when he returned. The hero fell asleep.
CHAPTER 14 - A Routine
08:00 Hours – I’d been up for an hour. Breakfast was eaten, washed down, and digested. I ate lighter than I had in years and upped my water intake with a goal of increased endurance and mobility. I woke the boys. Ernie put up a hassle (as always), but Nipper took to the new schedule and structure better than I thought he would. Nipper had been eating my leftover share of chow to help bulk him up some. Ernie’s portions remained constant.
08:20 Hours – Morning exercise. Nipper worked on a body weight routine; a lot of squats, lunges, and free jumps. I jogged laps around the yard with him as long as my leg could hold. We still didn’t talk much, but we didn’t argue either. Ernie was on an all sprint routine; one end of the yard and back. And again. And again.
I reminded them that the dogs we were going after would not show them any mercy. They did their damndest to put me on the shelf for good. We needed to be as lean, as mean, and a tough as our bodies would let us be.
08:45 Hours – Cool down session. I made sure Nipper stretched his hips well and showed him some simple moves. Ernie complained about the stretching, saying he never needed to stretch after a run before.
“Be quiet and get it over with,” Nipper said.
09:00 – 11:00 Hours – We waited to see if today would be the day they took us back to the dog park. Another bust. This marked three weeks of remaining in the yard.
11:20 Hours – Simon came into the yard to play. He gave Nipper and Ernie treats. I’m offered some, but I declined. He dropped one in front of me, the foulest smelling of the handful. I sniffed it and walked away. Ernie gobbled it up. Simon tossed a tennis ball across the yard. Ernie’s surprised at how much quicker he can retrieve it. I didn’t play with the child.
11:25 Hours – Simon got bored and went back inside. I explained to the boys that lunch will have to wait an hour due to the extra treats they ate. Ernie protested as expected.
11:30 Hours - Officer Hart made an appearance. He led me out of the backyard and into the front seat of The Intimidator. Before I left, I reminded Ernie about the added wait time on lunch.
“I know, Fritz,” he said.
I didn’t believe him.
I rode in the front seat of The Intimidator with Officer Hart. He listened to talk radio; AM 680 – The Home of Grand City Conservative Talk. Miles Shumer returned from commercial break with breaking news on a Senator. Their staffer broke into the campaign offices of their opponent with the aim of making it look as if the opponent misappropriated funds on a recent trip overseas… I can’t even pretend to understand what that meant.
Miles screamed through the speakers. The pitch hurt the fur on the tip of my ears. I don’t understand why people get so mad about this stuff. If everything went their way they’d have nothing to talk about and would be out of business.
Officer Hart’s phone vibrated and he turned down the radio. Not low enough for me.
“Hello,” he said. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that I had to check in with you every time I came and went.”
Ten seconds at a red light. Officer Hart closed his eyes for five of them.
“Dear, is it okay with you? Do I have your written express permission to go for a ride with the dog in The Intimidator?”
Three seconds.
“Of course Fritz is with me. What did you think, he ran away? Police dogs don’t do that.” Good to know. Moving on. “Yes, he’s in the back.”
Officer Hart reached down to scratch the top of my head and kept his one free elbow on the steering wheel. Miles took a phone call, a concerned citizen on line one.
“I don’t know where we’re going,” Officer Hart said, as he stopped scratching me and returned his hand to the wheel. His free foot bounced up and down on its heel next to the brake pedal. “Out. Does it matter? I have no idea when we’re going to come back. Before dinner, okay?”
Miles gave the name of a website to the concerned caller where they could read more information with charts and detailed figures. He further disclaimed that the website was in fact associated with his law firm but that the information came from unbiased research.
“I don’t know how many times I have to apologize,” Officer Hart said. “I don’t even know how you’ve turned this so that it’s me who’s doing the apologizing to begin with. What do you think? You think I’m feeling fantastic over it?”
Miles segued into a news story that ended as an advertisement for an online identity theft prevention service; only a few hundred dollars annually.
“I have to drive. I’m gonna go.” Officer Hart said, folding his phone shut and tossing it over his shoulder in the back seat. “If you want to try eating it, I wouldn’t stop you Fritz.”
I just looked at him.
13:00 Hours – Lunch at a Mexican fast food place. We went into the drive through. I hung out the window and breathed in what Grand City used to smell like for me. I smelled the tar of asphalt, the cherry lipstick on the cigarette butts tossed on the sidewalk, the stagnant water in the gutter, the exhaust from the cars as they passed by.
I smelled every single ingredient inside the restaurant. The black beans, the grilled veggies, the buckets and buckets of pork, the fresh carne asada, and the newly chopped chicken. The steel of the butcher knife roared through my nose.
We paid and parked and waited until they brought us a tray of food. Officer Hart let me out of The Intimidator with no leash. We sat down at the end of a long hard plastic bench that was carved up with gang logos and covered with the remains of peeled stickers. I sat next to him on the ground. He gave me a plate of mini-burritos.
“I won’t tell if you won’t tell,” Officer Hart said. I wanted to eat the food. I didn’t want to be rude, but the key to any fitness routine is a steady diet. I used to absolutely love human food, but I knew it would feel like I swallowed a brick for the next week. I politely lay down and turned my head away from the food. Officer Hart rubbed my back. “You feeling okay, buddy? How’s that rear wheel of yours doing?”
I turned back and half-heartedly licked at the guacamole on the plate.
“Alright, well, don’t eat it if you don’t want it. I’m sure Nitro’ll gulp it down.”
Nitro?
13:24 Hours – The Intimidator rolled into the Grand City PD parking lot and we parked a few spots away from the squad cars and SWAT vans. I saw the K-9 unit with my face still painted on the side. It now read “Nitro!” under my face. I wanted to be anywhere else. My head felt heavy and I took deep breaths. If I was going to feel like this I should have had one of those burritos.
“Let’s go say hi,” Officer Hart said. I didn’t budge. What were my choices? Go inside and be paraded through the halls and offices like an ancient relic, a token of the old days, and a reminder that this too will happen to all of them someday? Or did I sit there in the car waiting for someone to pull up and see my mug in the window and then what? “Come on. Everyone wants to say hi. They miss you.�
�� I hopped down out of the car and my leg buckled. “Whoa, not so fast, Fritz.”
13:28 Hours – So far, so good. We hadn’t passed anyone of note in the hallways of the department; some rookies, a dispatcher, a records clerk. We turned the corner and there was Nitro with his partner, Officer Richards, who took over the K-9 role with Nitro. Officer Hart was offered the spot, but he took a transfer to auto theft instead.
“What’re you doing here?” Nitro said.
“I came with him,” I said. “I didn’t know we were coming. If I did, I wouldn’t have got in the car.”
Officer Hart and Richards talked about last night’s basketball game.
“You expect me to believe that?” Nitro said, leaning in and smelling my face. “Must be nice spending time at the beach.”
“Not as much as you’d think.”
“Couldn’t stay away, could you? Can’t say I don’t understand. It is a bit rare for the old timers to come back. Makes the rest of us feel uncomfortable, to be honest. To see you all beaten up, hobbling, struggling just to stand up. I feel like I should ask if you need any help like I would any other victim in need.”
“You know what it is, Nitro. It must be so hard for you to wake up every morning knowing without any doubt that even if that day is the best day of your career, it’ll never be half as good as any regular day that I had.”
“You keep talking about yourself in the past tense,” Nitro said, as he snarled and showed his teeth with his eyes focused on mine, “and I’ll be glad to help you get there.”
“I dare you,” I said, putting the side of my face next to his and pushing his away.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Officer Richards said. “Nitro, down.”
Nitro sat submissively next to Richards. I stayed on my feet and stood behind Officer Hart.
“Did you see what happened?” Officer Hart said.