I position the scalpel over the rat. But then this weird feeling comes over me. It’s almost like I’m floating above myself. I can see my friends and the rat on the bench but they seem really far away. Then everything goes kind of grey, like the colour has been turned down on the world.
‘I’ve got to go,’ I mutter, dropping the scalpel and running for the door. There’s no way I want to faint in the middle of class. All I can hear is a buzzing, ringing noise in my ears.
The corridor outside is quiet and cool. I lean against the wall and take some deep breaths. Slowly the buzzing noise stops and the colour returns.
Mrs Franks comes out and closes the door behind her. ‘Are you okay, Sophie?’ she says. She doesn’t sound cross at me for running out, just concerned.
‘I’m fine,’ I say. ‘I think maybe I’m coming down with something.’
‘Maybe,’ she agrees, but I can tell she doesn’t really think so. ‘How about you go for a little walk? Get some air. See how you feel.’
I nod, but don’t answer. Mrs Franks pats my shoulder.
‘I’m proud of you for giving the dissection a go, Sophie,’ she says. ‘I know it was hard for you.’
‘Thanks,’ I mutter, but I don’t think there’s much to be proud of. No-one else almost passed out before the dissection even properly began.
Mrs Franks goes back into the classroom and I wander off down the corridor, not really knowing where to go. I’m feeling much better now that I’m out of there, with its horrible stink, but I still feel pretty confused. I wish my mum or dad were around so I could talk to them about what happened. But they are far away, and out of mobile phone range. Without meaning to, I end up at the lockers. I spot someone else there. It’s Josh. He looks a little pale.
‘Hi, Sophie,’ he says.
‘Hi,’ I say, trying to sound light and jokey. ‘Shouldn’t you be in class, carving up rats? Or were you sent to make sure I haven’t crumpled up in a heap somewhere?’
Josh laughs and then suddenly looks embarrassed. ‘I couldn’t do it,’ he admits. ‘It just felt really wrong. Cutting up some animal just because I can.’
It’s surprising to hear him say this. ‘But you eat meat,’ I point out. ‘That’s not so different.’
‘I know,’ says Josh. ‘The thing is …’ He gets a funny look on his face. ‘Well, I’ve been thinking about going vego. Or at least, part-time vego.’
‘No way!’ I say and start laughing.
Josh looks at me. ‘What’s so funny?’
‘Sorry,’ I say. ‘It’s just weird to think that you might go vegetarian in the same week that I eat meat for the first time.’
Josh smiles too. ‘True,’ he says. ‘I was pretty spun out when you ate that salami yesterday. But I get why you did it. It was a test – right? Because that’s basically what I’m thinking about this vego idea. I just want to see what it’s like.’
Then something weird happens. Josh reaches over my shoulder and for a moment I think he’s going to hug me. But instead he pulls off something that’s been stuck to the lockers. To my locker.
‘There’s a note for you,’ he says. As he hands it to me, it opens up so we can both see the contents. This time there’s no picture. Just words.
Question: How do you spell ugly, stinking loser?
Answer: S.O.P.H.I.E B.E.N.N.E.T.T
‘Whoa,’ says Josh, taking a step back like he’s been smacked in the face. ‘Who wrote that?’
‘No-one,’ I say, crumpling it up.
‘Sophie,’ says Josh, his voice low and serious. ‘Have you got notes like this before?’
‘One other time,’ I admit. ‘But seriously, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t bother me.’
‘It bothers me,’ says Josh flatly. ‘You have to tell someone about it. People can’t get away with writing stuff like that.’
I shake my head. I don’t want everyone to know. In fact, I don’t want anyone to know. It’s too humiliating. ‘It’s really nice of you to be worried,’ I add quickly. ‘But I just want to forget it. Anyway, I don’t know for sure who did it and I can’t go around accusing people.’
Josh keeps insisting that we go straight to Mrs Brinkman and show her the note. And the thing is, while I’m partly terrified he’ll do this, I’m also flattered that he’s so worked up about it. The gauge in my head has swung right over to ‘He likes you’. It’s weird to be in the middle of something so horrible, yet still feel this small, good thing happening at the same time.
Finally I get Josh to promise not to say anything to anyone. Not even to Adam.
‘But if another note comes, we’re going to Mrs Brinkman, okay?’ he says.
I agree to this, although I don’t really mean it. I’ll just have to make sure that if another note does appear, I’m the first – and only – person to see it.
I’m hanging out with Leni at lunchtime when Erin comes up to us. ‘I think we should say something about the rally at the school assembly tomorrow,’ Erin says. ‘A presentation – like the one you did for your canteen campaign. That was amazing.’
I’m starting to realise that more people were paying attention when I did that presentation than I’d thought. But all the same, I shake my head.
‘We don’t have time,’ I say. ‘The canteen presentation took ages to put together and I got a lot of help from Leni.’
‘I’ll help you again,’ says Leni. ‘In fact, I’ve got that photo Jo took of your possum on a flash drive. We could start with that. Because that’s kind of what this rally is about, isn’t it? Making sure there are places for animals like Poss to live?’
‘Exactly!’ says Erin. Then she gives me a pleading look. ‘It doesn’t need to be super complex or anything. Just a few pictures to grab everyone’s attention while we remind them about the rally.’
In the end I say okay and we head off to the computer lab – me, Erin, Leni and Anya. There’s no-one else in the lab when we get there, which is lucky because only a couple of the machines are any good to work on. Leni sits down in front of one and plugs in her flash drive, then opens up a jpeg file. Poss’s cute, big-eyed face fills the screen and all of us go Aww! at the same time. It’s basically impossible not to.
We drop the picture into a Powerpoint document and are deciding what else to put in when Leni looks at the time. ‘The bell is about to go,’ she says. ‘We’d better pack up.’ She saves the project and ejects the flash drive.
‘Hey, Leni,’ says Erin. ‘Is that yours too?’ She points to a flash drive in the computer next to us.
‘No,’ says Leni. ‘But pass it over. Maybe we can work out whose it is.’
It turns out that the drive itself isn’t named, but there are files on it.
‘There’s one folder called school stuff and one called other stuff,’ Leni reports.
‘Have a look in other stuff,’ suggests Anya.
Leni goes in and then double-clicks randomly on one of the files. It’s called List.
A document opens on the screen. One we all recognise straight away. The hot list. There’s complete silence as we stare at it, remembering how we all felt when this list was pinned to our noticeboard a few months ago.
‘Do you think this is the actual list?’ says Leni.
‘It looks the same,’ says Anya. ‘Edi is at number one and I’m at number twenty.’
‘Someone might have just copied it down,’ Erin points out. ‘You know, because it was so good they wanted to remember it.’
That seems pretty unlikely. What’s much more likely – and what we all suspect – is that this flash drive belongs to the person who wrote that list.
‘How cool would it be if we could prove who created that stupid thing!’ says Erin. ‘Then we could tell them what we thought of them.’
My heart starts to beat in double-time. I’ve always suspected Nelson wrote the list. Which makes me nervous about what else might be on that drive.
‘What about that one?’ says Anya, pointing to a file called note.
‘Maybe it’s a letter with a name on it.’
‘Is this a good idea?’ I say. ‘It’s sort of like spying, isn’t it?’
But the others are so focused on the computer that they don’t seem to hear me. My hands start to sweat as the file opens up. It’s the first note that was stuck to my locker. The one with the picture of the hairy girl in bathers, with ‘dirty hippie’ written underneath.
Leni frowns. ‘It looks like it’s meant to be someone, right?’
Anya nods. ‘Yes. But who?’
‘It’s probably just someone mucking around,’ I say, trying to keep the wobble out of my voice. ‘A dumb joke. Let’s just delete it.’
The others look at me like I’ve gone mad. ‘No way!’ says Erin. ‘I want to know who owns this drive. That list is horrible – and I think this note is obviously meant to be nasty too. What if it was sent to someone – can you imagine how terrible they would feel?’
Actually, yeah, I can imagine. But I can also imagine how ashamed I’m going to feel if they all see the second note – the one that spells out my name. I can already see the file in the list – SB.
‘Open that one,’ says Anya, pointing to a file called letter.
Dear Eliza,
I’ve finally worked out why you would dump me. Here are the reasons:
You are dumb
You are a bitch …
The list goes on and on, getting nastier with every point. We read it together in total silence.
‘Soph,’ says Anya when we’re finished. ‘Do you know if Eliza broke up with someone recently?’
I nod. ‘Nelson,’ I say. No-one looks one bit surprised to hear it.
‘The trouble is,’ says Erin slowly, ‘that none of this stuff has his name on it. We need something that links this drive to him.’
‘Well, let’s keep looking,’ says Leni. The next file she opens is SB.
Question: how do you spell ugly, stinking loser?
Answer: S.O.P.H.I.E B.E.N.N.E.T.T
Everyone turns to me, and I can tell they’re all trying to find something to say.
‘Sophie,’ says Erin after a minute. ‘Have you already seen this?’
I try to laugh but it comes out more like a snort. ‘Actually, yes. Today. It was stuck on my locker. And the other one was there a couple of days ago.’
‘Oh, Soph,’ says Anya, flinging her arms around me. ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’
‘Because it’s not a big deal,’ I mutter.
Leni puts an arm around me too. ‘Of course it’s a big deal,’ she says softly. ‘It’s horrible. I’d be devastated if someone sent that to me.’
‘It’s disgusting,’ says Erin, looking angry. ‘And really cowardly.’
‘So, what are we going to do about it?’ asks Leni.
‘Take it to Mrs Brinkman, of course,’ says Erin promptly. ‘Nelson will probably be suspended for this.’
‘He should be expelled!’ declares Leni, her arm still tight around me. ‘He’s such a creep.’
Anya looks at me. ‘Soph?’ she says. ‘What do you want to do?’
It’s a hard question to answer. Part of me just wants to destroy the flash drive and forget all about it. I don’t want a whole lot of people reading those notes. It’ll be so humiliating. But the thing is, it isn’t only about me. There’s the hot list. And there’s that letter to Eliza. And then there’s all the things he hasn’t written yet. Other notes. Other letters. If I don’t stand up to him, Nelson will keep doing stuff like this, getting stronger and nastier.
Finally I nod.
‘Okay,’ I say. ‘Let’s take it to Mrs Brinkman. But we’d better do it now, before I change my mind.’
When I get back to the Mitchells’ place that afternoon (on the bus, of course, because my bike is still missing), the kitchen door is shut. There’s a lot of clanging and talking coming from the other side. I knock.
‘Hey, what’s going on in there? Can I come in?’
‘No!’ three voices call out together. It’s Daphne and the boys.
‘We’re cooking a surprise dinner,’ Daphne explains. ‘You’ll have to wait.’
It feels strange being on my own. Eliza’s not around either. It’s funny how quickly you can get used to something. A few days ago I was dying for some peace and quiet, but now I’ve got it, I feel – well – a little left out, I guess.
I feed Poss, do my homework and wait for dinner to be ready. Whatever they’re doing, it seems to be taking forever.
Finally Oscar and Thomas come and drag me to the table, and they make me sit right at the head while they rush to finish things off in the kitchen. Eliza turns up and goes to help too, and I feel pretty silly sitting there all alone. But the boys look so proud when they carry in the food that my feeling of silliness disappears. They’ve cooked lasagne – or two lasagnes, to be exact. A meat one and a vegie one.
‘It was the boys’ idea,’ explains Daphne. ‘They wanted to make something special because you’ll be going home soon and it’s been so great having you here.’
‘Oh, guys … thanks!’ I say. I’m actually feeling a little choked up. ‘I’ve really loved being here. It’s been fun.’
To everyone’s surprise, Oscar suddenly bursts into loud, messy tears. ‘I don’t want her to go!’ he says, scrambling onto my lap.
‘Hey, I’m not going far,’ I point out, laughing. ‘Just to the other side of the fence.’
‘But you’re different when you’re over there,’ Oscar says. ‘I like you better when you’re here.’
‘Well, how about I try to be more like the person I am here when I’m back there?’ I say.
Oscar nods – as though what I’ve just said makes perfect sense. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘But you have to promise.’
I cross my heart and promise him and he goes back to his own seat, happy again.
When Daphne offers me the lasagne, I take a small piece of the meat one as well as the vegetarian.
Eliza looks at me curiously. ‘Have you given up being vegetarian now?’ she asks.
‘No,’ I say. ‘At least, I’m not sure. I guess I want to make sure I’m a vegetarian because I mean it, not just because I’ve always been one.’
Eliza nods. ‘That makes sense.’ Then she holds her plate out to her mum. ‘Can I try the vegetarian one, please?’
After dinner we play with the Wii and I surprise everyone (including myself) by being a star at archery.
‘It totally fits with you,’ laughs Eliza. ‘I can just imagine you riding around on horseback in the olden days, firing arrows at the bad guys.’
Later, when we’re getting ready for bed, Eliza says something that catches me by surprise. ‘Mrs Brinkman called me into her office after school,’ she says, really casually. ‘She showed me the flash drive and the letter that was written to me.’
‘She showed you?’ I say, shocked. I suppose I thought Eliza wouldn’t have to find out about the letter.
Eliza nods. ‘She wanted me to say if I knew anyone who would write something like that to me. And of course I did.’ She doesn’t need to say the name. We both know it.
I climb into my squeaky bed. ‘Is it enough proof?’ I ask. ‘Does she believe it was really Nelson who did all that?’
Eliza nods again. ‘He was still at school – at soccer training – so Mrs Brinkman called him into her office too. When she showed him the flash drive he admitted it was his, and all the stuff on it.’
‘So what will happen?’ I ask.
Eliza shrugs. ‘I’m not sure. I think they’ll suspend him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he leaves the school anyway. Imagine staying once it gets around what he did.’ We’re both quiet for a moment, thinking about that.
‘You know, you should have told me he wrote those notes to you,’ says Eliza. ‘Man, he’s such a loser.’
It’s hard to explain why I didn’t tell anyone about the note. I mean, sure, I didn’t want to think about it. But I guess also I didn’t think anyone else would care much.
That it’d be just a joke to them.
But when I say this to Eliza, she shakes her head. ‘Look, I know I said that everyone thinks you’re weird but I was wrong. Okay, you’re different, but good different. You should’ve heard Leo raving on about you the other day. How cool it was that you were organising another rally and how we should definitely go this time.’ Eliza grins at me. ‘I think Hazel got a bit jealous, actually.’
‘Ha!’ I laugh back. ‘As if. Anyway, he’s not my type.’
The image of Josh flashes into my mind. The way he looked at me when we found the second note. I haven’t told him yet about seeing Mrs Brinkman but he might know anyway. Anya is not the best at keeping secrets.
‘I guess I just wanted to say that if anything like that happens again, tell me, okay?’ says Eliza. ‘I mean, I’m a bit older so I might be able to help you out. You know – like a big sister or whatever.’ She says it in this very no-big-deal way, but I can tell she really means it.
I say, ‘Thanks, I will,’ in the same style. But I really mean it too.
The next morning when I get up, Eliza has already gone. I feel my stomach drop a little. It would’ve been nice turning up at school with her instead of going by myself. I’m pretty sure people will have heard about the notes on my locker, and I’m worried everyone will stare at me. But it can’t be helped, I guess.
Thomas and Oscar seem to be extra lively this morning, running around, yelling and jumping off things as I make the porridge.
Daphne shakes her head and smiles at me. ‘You must be looking forward to getting back to your nice, quiet, organised home tomorrow,’ she says.
‘A bit,’ I say, laughing as Thomas rushes past making a steam train noise. There are things about home that I’m looking forward to – my comfy bed and seeing my parents again, and getting some help with Poss from Mum. But I’m going to miss being here with the Mitchells too.
‘Okay, everyone,’ says Daphne after breakfast. ‘It’s time to go. I’ll meet you at the car in ten minutes.’
Riding in the car is something I won’t miss, I think, as I go and brush my teeth. I wonder how my parents will react when I break the news that my bike has been stolen. Will I get in trouble for not bothering to lock it up?
Sophie Bennett Saves the Planet Page 6