by James, Marie
“Motherfucker!” I rage as I walk into the clubhouse and down the hall to the closed door of her room.
I throw the door open and walk inside. She left in such a hurry the drawers of the dresser aren’t even closed. I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers when I see the keys to the door sitting on the dresser, abandoned, indicating she has no intention of ever returning. I’ll give her time to cool off with whatever she’s going through but leaving her alone for good isn’t going to happen.
She should’ve saved her goodbye for someone who’d actually listen to it. I leave the room and lock the door behind me, pocketing the keys as I open the door to my own room.
The second I step in I know exactly why she left and what she meant by the present waiting on my bed. Not even bothering to close the door I walk further in the room.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Bunny smiles from her naked position in the center of my bed.
“Waiting for you,” she says playfully and spreads her legs wider. “Figured you’d like me to relieve some of the stress from your trip.”
“Get the fuck out of my room.” I’m seething, and the fall of her face only pisses me off even more. Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?
“Kincaid,” she whines.
I hold my hand up to stop the drivel she plans to let come out of her mouth. “I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth. There’s no telling what you told Emmalyn, but I’m pretty fucking certain you’re the sole reason she just packed her shit and left.”
The smile that lights her face up at my news nearly has me grabbing her by the throat. “You better make yourself scarce around this clubhouse, little girl. If the guys didn’t like fucking that nasty pussy of yours so bad, I’d ban you from the property.”
I step aside as she climbs off the bed, making sure she doesn’t touch me as she gathers her clothes from the floor. “One more slip up, one more word out of your mouth to Emmalyn, and you’re out. Do you fucking understand me?”
She opens her mouth as if she going to say something but I hold my hand up and point to the door. “Out!” She jumps at the rage in my voice and scurries out.
“Welcome home,” I mutter and begin to strip the blankets and sheets off of the bed.
***
The text from Doc while I was in the shower informed me that Emmalyn is at their house. I’m able to take a deep breath, thankful she didn’t opt for the bus station. Rose mentioned that Em had said something about getting a bus ticket. That was, of course, right after she got here. Right after she saw you standing with Bunny in the kitchen, my brain reminds me.
She has a job in town now and even though I hate the idea of her going to work at a bar every night while drunk guys undress her with their eyes, I know it may be one of the factors that kept her in town at Doc’s house rather than jumping the very first bus out of town tonight.
I regret throwing Bunny out of the room before insisting she relay verbatim what she said to Emmalyn. As much as I want to know, it would be a cold day in hell before I tracked her disgusting ass down to ask her now. I pace the length of my room trying to figure out the best way to approach this. Instinct tells me to go over there and throw her over my shoulder, not giving her a choice, and carry her back. I’d keep her in my bed until she saw reason and understood that Bunny isn’t even a blip on my radar.
I’ve never been in a situation where I felt the urge to go after a woman, so this is all new to me. I do know that as an abuse survivor she wouldn’t appreciate the show of force, and it would set us back even more than Bunny’s little stunt could ever think of doing. I pull her name up on the contact list on my phone and press send again for the fifth time this evening. It goes straight to voicemail, just like it did the last three times I’ve called.
I know she’s safe. If she left Doc’s house, he would’ve called. The fact that she’s mad enough to ignore me makes me mad and brings a small smile to my face at the same time. Anger is not the emotion I was hoping for when I got home today, but it is an emotion. Her being able to get mad at me means she feels something about me, and that beats the indifference she showed in the kitchen her very first morning here.
Unable to leave well enough alone, I scoop my bike keys off of my dresser and head out. It’s been a few hours, and that’s about as long as I can take without losing my mind. Even if I go over there and she yells at me, at least I get to hear her voice and see her beautiful face.
***
You never realize how much you miss the freedom of a bike until you have to go a long period of time without one. Two weeks without riding a motorcycle may seem like nothing to any other person, but for a man who doesn’t feel free without it, it’s a lifetime.
The ten-minute ride to Doc’s house wasn’t nearly enough, merely a tease of an experience. Hearing the sound of the motorcycle from a distance, I’m not surprised to be met on the front porch by Rose. She waits, with arms crossed over her chest like a mother hen, until I kill the engine and prop the machine up on the kickstand before she speaks.
“She’s not very happy with you.”
“Me? I didn’t do anything.” I raise my voice before I even think about who I’m talking to. “Can you send her out here, please?”
She huffs at me but turns and heads back into the house. I kick at the rocks near the last step of the porch. It’s completely dark outside, and the only light is coming from the tiny bulb near the front door until Emmalyn opens the front door and steps out on the porch.
She’s so beautiful the sight of her makes my heart nearly pound out of my chest.
“Em.”
She looks over my head, past me into the blackness of the night. “I only came out here because I knew you’d never leave me alone if I didn’t.”
She doesn’t offer anything else. She doesn’t take another step near me, so following her lead I stay on the ground and give her the space she needs on the porch.
Before I can beg forgiveness from a wrong I didn’t even commit, she breaks the tense silence between us. “Have you fucked all of the girls at the clubhouse?”
I laugh because her idea of what I do there is ludicrous. She glares at me, and my laugh catches in my throat. “I haven’t fucked any of the girls at the club.”
I shouldn’t have to explain my past to her. I’ve told her that before, but that was before I’d spent countless hours the last couple of weeks texting and talking to her. I felt like we were growing closer, and I honestly thought I’d be lucky enough to hold her while she slept tonight; Lord knows I’ve dreamed about it enough.
Knowing I shouldn’t have to explain myself and feeling the need to are different things. My pride has already gotten in the way once where she’s concerned, and I’ll be damned if I lose whatever this is that’s building between us because I don’t want to have an awkward conversation with a woman.
“There are a couple of girls at the club that have,” I motion to my genitals, suddenly feeling uneasy about saying the words out loud. “Blowjobs,” I spit out. “A couple of them have given me blowjobs.”
She doesn’t seem surprised by the information.
“I haven’t had sex with any of them, Emmalyn,” I tell her, feeling the need to clarify the fact again.
“Last I checked, getting naked wasn’t a requirement for a blow job. But what the fuck do I know? Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.” I cringe because no matter how serious this conversation is, the last thing I want in my head are images of Emmalyn sucking anybody else’s cock.
Realization hits. This is why she’s pissed. I have no control over Bunny, short of throwing her out on her ass. Every time she sees one of the club girls, she pictures them with me. Even without confirmation that I’ve messed around with them, all she can think when she sees one of them is them sucking me off.
If I had to walk into a house and socialize with guys that had the glorious opportunity to have their mouths on her pussy, I wouldn’t even be able to be c
ivil. I’m furious now just knowing that her piece of shit husband has had his fill over the last however many years.
“I can’t change my past any easier than you can, Em.”
She ignores my last statement and turns back toward the door. “Get your shit together Diego, and clean your house before you come over here wanting anything from me.”
I wince when the screen door slams behind her. Pissed beyond anything I’ve ever felt before, I turn back to my bike, but stop and twirl back around when I hear the door open again.
Doc, not Emmalyn, is standing on the front porch and the split second of excitement that she’d changed her mind falls away.
“Sorry to disappoint,” he says with a light laugh.
“I’m glad you find this amusing,” I hiss out. I’m in no mood for his shit tonight either.
“She planning on staying with you guys?” Translation, has she said anything about leaving town?
“She’ll be here,” he says simply.
“You know what that means,” I tell him.
“Rose is already clearing out the second guest bedroom for Kid.” He knows me so well.
I nod at him and make my way back to my bike. I drive off with more restraint than I feel and turn toward my house rather than the clubhouse. If she’s here, there’s no reason for me to be there.
Chapter 21
Waking up and finding Kid sitting at the kitchen table in Rose and Doc’s house doesn’t surprise me at all. I give him a weak smile and begin to make myself a cup of coffee. My face hurts, and I know I look terrible. No matter how hard I tried not to let Diego affect me, I couldn’t keep the tears from falling last night when he left.
I watched from the window as the taillight of his motorcycle disappeared down the driveway. I was so mad at him when I came back into the house, but that didn’t stop the dread that settled in my gut as the tiny red light got smaller and smaller. Somehow over the last couple of weeks, I’d grown to like him. He was the constant in my life, even when he was gone. He was my hero of sorts; the catalyst that helped me get away from Bobby. He was the beginning of my journey in finding myself.
Maybe the pain I feel is more the disappointment I have in myself for thinking he could be different. I know he’s different than Bobby, but I’d hoped he’d be different than stereotypical bikers. The image of rough and tumble men drinking loudly and putting their hands on any and every woman who was within arm’s reach came to mind. As the President of the MC, he’d get first pick, always. It doesn’t matter that he may want to pick me now; he’d eventually grow bored, especially considering that he’d have a buffet line of women to choose from. Why settle for one woman when he could have a plethora of them at his beck and call?
“Emmalyn?” I turn my head back to Kid and realize he’s been talking to me.
“I’m sorry. What did you say?” I sit down beside him at the table and blow the steam from my coffee cup.
“I asked you how long you plan to punish him for something he had no control over?” Kid isn’t usually serious about anything, so his words are sobering.
I blow on my coffee again and take a tentative sip, taking a moment to actually consider his question. My feelings were hurt yesterday when I walked into the room and found Bunny in his bed when I’d expected it to be Diego in the room. My plans to run to him and wrap my arms around his neck were thwarted by a skinny tramp taking up residence in his bed.
I acted on instinct. I escaped from the situation that was causing me pain, albeit, emotional rather than physical this time.
“I can’t be like one of those girls at the club,” I tell him honestly.
“Has he ever even implied he wanted you to act anything like the other girls at the club?”
I don’t answer the rhetorical question, but his outside view of the situation is spot on. I realize how childish I was last night. Diego had no control over Bunny, and although I have no proof, I’m pretty certain he hadn’t planned on her being there. It’s not like he made arrangements for her to be naked on his bed when he got home.
“I can’t be around Bunny. She’s vile.”
“I agree,” he begins, “but don’t shut him out because that woman has some false sense of ownership on him.”
I sigh and look into his sincere blue eyes. “Why are you pushing this? Did he set you up to do this?”
His gives me a light laugh. “No, Emmalyn. He didn’t ask me to talk to you; he’s stubborn, much like you are, and doesn’t ask for help very often. He’s different around you.”
He doesn’t explain further, just takes another bite of cereal and chews thoughtfully before speaking again. “Besides, I don’t think Bunny is going to be much of an issue anymore. He ripped into her ass pretty bad last night.”
I do my best not to smile at the news, but I don’t quite manage. I rise from the table and take my coffee cup to the sink. “I’m going to head back upstairs. You going to be here later to take me to work?”
He smiles. “If you’re here, I’m here, Em.”
The minute I go upstairs and close the bedroom door behind me, I grab the phone Diego gave me and turn it on. I’d turned it off almost immediately after leaving the clubhouse yesterday. It buzzes with several text messages and a voicemail.
Ignoring the voicemail, knowing I couldn’t bear to hear his voice and not go to him, I look at the texts. There are several from last night before he came over and another one after he left simply telling me goodnight.
The most recent one was from fifteen minutes ago, telling me good morning. Unable to resist the pull, I text him back.
Emmalyn: Good morning.
His response is immediate.
Diego: How did you sleep?
Emmalyn: Terribly, I’m still exhausted.
Diego: You work tonight?
Emmalyn: Yes, I go in at five.
Diego: You should try to get a nap before work.
Emmalyn: That’s a great idea. If only I can turn my mind off and relax.
I wait for his response, but it never comes. I pull off the jeans and sweatshirt I put on to go down and get coffee earlier and crawl back under the covers. I run through last night’s events in my head for what seems like the hundredth time, but I refuse to discount my emotions and the pain it caused me to see that despicable woman in his bed.
The roar of a motorcycle tells me that Doc and Rose must be back from wherever they went this morning. I know I should go downstairs and be social since they’re gracious enough to let me stay in their home, but I just don’t have it in me today.
The soft click of the doorknob turning has my spine stiffening, and I whip my head around to the door, unsure of who I’d find invading this space. I almost cry when I see Diego closing the door behind him as he steps further into the room.
I’m going to ask him what he’s doing here, but he holds a finger to his lips.
“Shhh.”
He takes his vest off, reaches down and unlaces his boots, kicking them to the side. He pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it on top of his vest on the dresser as he approaches the bed. I watch all of this in awe and reckless appreciation, and it’s not until he pulls the edge of the blankets back that I realize his intentions.
I begin to shift my weight, but he’s too fast and before I know it he’s lying beside me in the bed. My eyes flutter at the feeling of his warm body against my skin. His hot chest and abdomen feel perfect against the thin fabric of my tank top.
“What are you doing?” I finally manage to whisper. He’s turned me slightly so I’m on my side, and he’s lined up behind me.
“You said you didn’t sleep well.” I feel the heat from his breath on my shoulder and goosebumps race down my arms. He must notice the tremor and assume I’m cold because he pulls me tighter to his chest. “I didn’t sleep well either,” he admits. “I know I would’ve slept better if you were in my arms; I’m hoping it’s true for you too.”
“Diego, I can’t…” I don’t even know what to tel
l him.
“Shhh, Em. No expectations, just get some rest,” He says gently, almost as if he’s already so relaxed he’s near sleep himself.
I let my eyes close and listen to his rhythmic breathing, and before anything else makes sense I drift into a calming sleep.
***
I don’t know how long we managed to sleep, a few hours maybe, but I wake rested as if I’d slept all night. I smile at the feel of Diego’s thumb tracing circles leisurely on my stomach. I sigh contentedly at the action which feels natural. Even in this situation, one that can turn sexual any second, the action feels comforting rather than a prelude to a more erotic ending.
“Was I right?” he asks before gently kissing my shoulder.
“Hmm?” I’m slightly dazed, a combination from just waking up and the feel of his mouth on my skin.
I moan softly when his tongue traces down my neck and follows the line of my shoulder. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did,” I answer more breathily than I’d intended.
“Me too,” he whispers quietly in my ear. “I knew you’d fit against me perfectly.”
I smile and turn my head so I can at least see him with one eye over my shoulder. “Perfectly, huh?”
He pushes against my stomach at the same time his hips rotate at my back. “Every soft inch of your amazing body fits fully against every hard inch of mine.”
I bite my lip to keep the moan from escaping when I feel his erection lined up between the cheeks of my ass. The comfortable moment I woke to has suddenly taken the erotic turn that wasn’t there only moments before. The erratic beat of my heart and the fluttering of the butterflies in my stomach make me want to stay in this bed for the rest of my life.
I know that’s not possible. I have work, and the last thing I need right now is to get lost in Diego Anderson, especially when I haven’t fully found myself yet. I wiggle out of his arms and slide off the edge of the bed. It’s not until I feel the cold draft on my legs and hear the hiss from Diego’s lips that I remember I’d taken my jeans off before climbing in bed.