by KA Hobbs
“I love you, So much, Doug.” I find his lips and press mine to his. Tears pool in my eyes, my heart swelling,
“I love you with everything I am, everything I will ever be.”
He enters me slowly, his hands on either side of my face, propping himself up. He makes sweet, tender love to me, under the stars. It is beautiful, perfect. It is ours. We come together, our mouths swallowing our mutual cries of pleasure. We lay there, together, for what feels like hours. With Doug’s hand slowing moving up and down my spine.
“I’m getting cold...” I say, not wanting to move.
“Shall we go in?” he asks, wrapping me in his arms more tightly.
“Do you mind?”
“Of course not.” he stands, wrapping his shirt around me, lifts me off my feet and walks us to our room.
“Thank you, for the most amazing night. I will remember it forever.” I kiss his neck.
“You deserve nothing but amazing, Sophie. And I will try to always give it to you.” I snuggle closer to him.
“You do, Doug. You really do.”
I’m not sure if it is the evening, the fact we are fast approaching the end of our holiday, or something else. When I wake in the middle of the night, Doug pulls me closer and tells me he loves me. Neither of us let each other go all night.
Chapter Twenty-five
“I’ve had the most amazing time of my life these past ten days, Doug.”
We are sitting in the reception of the island waiting for the boat to come and collect us to take us to the sea plane. He takes me hand, kissing my knuckles,
“Me too. It has been... “ I nod, not needing him to answer
“I know.” I tell him, looking at him. He sighs, looking down to the floor.
“What’s wrong?” he looks at me a worried look in his eyes.
“Everything will change when we get back home, Sophie. I don’t want to lose this, lose what we’ve found while we have been away. I need to know, whatever happens when we get back, we will be okay.” he leans in, resting his forehead on mine.
“I can’t do this without you.” he whispers. I look up into his face, full of doubt, concern and worry.
“I’ll be right there with you, Doug. Every step of the way.”
***
We touchdown in a very wet England.
“Talk about coming back to reality with a bump.” I grumble, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm.
“It is a bit.... cooler than we’ve been used to the past ten days.” Doug says, running his hands up and down my arms while we wait for his car keys.
I’ve never been so pleased to see Doug’s car in my life. I waste no time jumping in and turning up the heat. I hold my hands in front of the fans. Doug puts our bags in the car and hops in.
“Thank you for the most amazing break, Sophie. It was just what I needed.”
“Me too. Let’s do it again soon, please. Like... next week?” I grin taking his hand in mine and kissing it.
“Soon. I promise.” he starts the car and we start our journey home. Doug pulls up outside my flat and switches off the car.
“So... I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks, looking at me with sad eyes.
“Yes... I’ll come over after work.” We sit there, looking at each other, neither of us moving.
“I don’t think I can get out of the car, Doug.” I whisper. “I don’t want to go up to my lonely, cold flat on my own.” I close my eyes, holding back the tears.
“Then don’t. Come back to mine.” he brushes his knuckles down my face and I open my eyes.
“I need clothes, and I have stuff to get ready for tomorrow. I can do this. One night, right?” I say, trying to convince myself. I open the car door and get my bag from the back.
“I’ll miss you tonight.” Doug has me up against his car, holding my face in his hands.
“Me too.” I lean in, kissing his lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I pull up the handle on my case and walk towards my door.
“Miss you already.” I call as I step into the entryway.
I step into my flat, its cold. No one has been in here for ten days. It’s dark and worst of all it is Doug-less. I wheel my case into the bedroom and switch on the light. Sadness washes over me. After ten, amazing days with Doug, the flat just feels sad. I decide to shower and go to bed. Stripping my clothes off, I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Hoping that the heat will comfort me I step into the shower. I jump back letting out a squeal, I forgot, I turned the hot water off while I was away. Shit. Throwing open the shower door, I grab a towel off the pile and stomp into the bedroom.
Opening the wardrobe doors; I grab a pair leggings, a camisole and a jumper. I tug them on and storm into the kitchen. Ignoring the pile of post scattered in my hallway. I walk over to the fridge and peer inside. I have nothing except some butter and a jar of marmalade. My stomach growls, a reminder that I am hungry. I don't know what comes over me, but I burst into tears. I’m sobbing loudly because I have no food. I'm clearly jet lagged.
Wiping my eyes on my sleeve, I get up and go back into my bedroom. Taking out my overnight bag from the wardrobe, I start putting in some clothes, underwear, stuff I would need if I stayed away. Wheeling my case with me that has all my work stuff in I switch off all the lights, pick up my handbag and open my front door. On the way down to the car, the tears start again and I know they aren't from having no food this time. They are from missing Doug. The lift pings and the doors open and I hurry out almost bumping into another car in the process. I chuck my bags in my car and jump in. Making my way over to Doug's in record time I don't even bother getting my bags out I just call the lift.
I am out of the lift and knocking on Doug's door before the lift doors have even closed. Tears running down my face, I wait. And I wait. And I wait. No answer. I knock again. Still no answer. Tears are falling faster now as I reach into my bag, searching for my phone. I swipe along the bottom of the screen, a fresh bout of tears falling when I see my new lock screen and background, both a pictures we took on holiday. I press the phone icon at the bottom of the screen and dial his number. Holding my breath, I listen to it ring in my ear, and then I hear it ringing in his apartment. It rings a few more times then goes to voicemail Doug Roberts, Please leave a message. I cut the call and ring again. This time, on the 3rd ring I hear footsteps and he picks up.
"Sophie?" He sounds surprised I am phoning him.
"D..d..d...ou..g?" I hiccup trying to stop the tears.
"Sophie? What's happened? Where are you?” I can hear him picking up his keys and coming towards the door a few seconds before his door opens. He steps out, sees me and drops to his knees.
"What happened?"
He searches my face, pulling my head to his chest and kissing the top of my head. I sob harder into his chest as he rocks me back and forth and asks me repeatedly what is wrong, when the tears slow down, I wipe my eyes on my sleeve again and look up.
"I knocked on the door. I called you. You didn't answer.”My voice breaks at the end and more tears swim in my eyes.
"I was taking a shower, I didn't hear. What's wrong , baby? What's happened?" He cradles me to him.
"N..n..n.. Nothing. I j..j..just c...c...can't be a...l..lone." He lifts my chin.
"It's okay." He brushes my cheek with his hand, "You can stay here."
I don't think he understands why I am in such a state, truthfully, neither do I. He lifts me up and carries me into the apartment. Kicking the door closed with his foot he walks over to his huge brown sofa and sits down with me on his lap. He doesn't talk, he just holds me. I don't know how long we sit there, but eventually, the tears dry up and I am no longer shuddering.
"I'm so sorry, Doug,” I whisper into his neck, "You must think I have gone crazy.” I try to laugh, but I still feel too raw and it just comes out like a choking sound.
"Of course not." He kisses my temple before whispering, “I think I nearly had a heart attack when I answered the phone.
I was so scared something had happened to you.”
"I feel so stupid. I just... It all started with the shower, there was no hot water and then there was no food in the fridge... It all sounds so stupid." I cringe, burying my face further into Doug's neck.
"It doesn't matter. I am just so glad you are okay." He reaches for my chin, pulling my face up to look at his,”Now. There is plenty of hot water here, how about I run you a bath and then cook you something. I have a very full fridge thanks to Alison." He smiles.
"That sounds perfect. Thank you." I press my lips to his and exhale. I feel all the tension in my body leave me, ”I left my bag in the car..."
"Let me run you a bath then I will go get it."
He walks us into the bathroom, turning on the taps he pours in some of my favourite Jo Malone bath oil and kisses my shoulder.
"Slip in and relax. I'll be back in a minute.”
I slip out of my clothes and into the hot bubbles. Closing my eyes, the little voice in my head is telling at me Ask him to move in with you. I know I have to ask him, after spending the past ten days with him, I really cannot be apart from him any longer. I hear the front door open and a few seconds later, Doug appears in the doorway.
"How's that?" He asks walking in and crouching by the bathtub.
"Almost perfect." I smile.
"Almost?"
"Get in..," I scoot forward and look back. Doug is taking off his clothes and getting ready to step in. Sinking into the water and pulling me back, I lean in to him and sigh.
"Now it's perfect.”
We don’t speak. We are just together. The whole time my mind is racing. What if I ask him and he says no? With everything going on with Abigail right now, he might not want another big change. Although having said that, I am here most of the time anyway.
"Sophie, the water is getting cold, shall we get out?" I am snapped out of my thinking and realise the water is getting cold.
"Yes. Can we eat?” I sit forward letting him get out and wrap a towel around his waist, he passes me my towelling robe and I step out and into its fluffiness.
"What do you fancy to eat?" He kisses my head, inhaling the scent of my hair.
"Anything." I am finding it so hard to say more than one word right now.
"Sophie, are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm just tired."
He kisses me softly, nods and walks into the kitchen. I stand, rooted to the spot, listening to Doug move around in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Just ask him Sophie. At least then you know one way or another.
As I enter the kitchen, Doug is looking at something on his phone. I take a seat at the breakfast bar and rest my chin on my hand. He looks up and smiles.
"You should always be here, it isn't home without you here, Sophie.” my chin falls off my hand and I look at him.
"What does that mean?” He walks over to me, spinning the stall so I am facing him and stepping in between my legs.
"It means..." He says nuzzling his nose with mine, "That I would like you to move in with me."
After so much crying earlier, I didn't think I had any tears left to cry, but clearly I do, as more fill my eyes and spill over. I look up and into Doug's beautiful blue eyes, full of love and whisper my reply.
"I would love that so much, I can't go back to my flat Doug. It is so…" Doug finishes my sentence for me.
“Empty."
"Yes." I smile, "Without you in it, it is empty.” I smile and hold him to me, needing to feel him.
"Shall I get some dinner?" He asks.
"Yes, I am so hungry!" I smile.
I sit and watch as Doug heats up one of Alison's lasagnes. The smell of tomatoes and oregano soon fill the kitchen. We sit, sipping a glass of red wine and discussing what to do with my flat.
"You could rent it out?” Doug suggests, “It is in a great location and it is a great flat, I know plenty of people who could help with that.”
"I hadn't thought of that, I was just going to sell it. But I guess it would help with bills etc here wouldn't it” Doug coughs and almost chokes on the wine he just swallowed.
“Bills? Here?”
"Yes."I smile as I pat his back.
"Sophie, I don't expect you to pay for anything here. I don't want you to.” he says, taking my hand. I shake my head.
"I can't do that Doug, I want to pay something towards this..." I lift my hand gesturing around us.
"Sophie. I make more than enough money to pay the bills. I bought this apartment, outright, there are very little outgoings. I’d like you to keep your money, enjoy it. I want to look after you. I want to provide for you. Please. Will you let me do that?”
The look on his face is one I can't put a finger on. A males need to provide for the woman he love? So traditional.
"If you need to. Okay, but at least let me buy food or... Something." I smile
"You can buy me all the chocolate fingers and Fruit Pastilles you want,” he leans in and kisses me, “and if you wanted to buy more underwear for yourself, that's okay too.” he grins.
“Okay.” I laugh throwing head back. As we tuck into dinner, Abigail pops into my head.
"Doug, what about Abigail?" He frowns not understanding my question.
"What about Abigail?”
"What will you tell her?" He puts his fork down and turns to look at me.
"Sophie, I will tell her, you're moving in with me." He shrugs his shoulders as if, it's nothing.
"Will she... I mean, she doesn't get to live with you, won't that upset her?" He thinks about it for a minute then answers
"Sophie, one day soon I hope she will live with me. Right now, she lives there and I live here. She understands that, I will explain it all to her. She will be okay, I know she will."
Doug's certainty chases away the doubts I have, maybe this can work. After we finish dinner, Doug announces he is going to phone Abigail.
"Do you want to speak to her?" He asks sitting down on the sofa.
“Only if she wants to speak to me.” I shrug, “Don’t make her Doug, she doesn’t know me.” He leans over to me, brushing a stray piece of hair from my face.
“All this self doubt, she wants to know you, Sophie.” I smile, unsure. “Stop questioning what I tell you, it’s the truth.” I nod and he sits back down. I hear the sound of ringing and then someone picks up.
“Hello Doug.” It’s a male voice this time.
“Hello, Ian. How are you?”
“I’m good. How was your break?”
“It was great, thank you. Just what I needed. But I missed being able to talk to Abigail, is she there?” Doug looks at me.
“She sure is, she has been waiting for your call since she got home. Abs! Your daddy is on the phone.” Ian calls. I hear footsteps and squeals of delight then I hear her singsong voice.
“Oh Daddy, I’ve missed you.” she says making my heart constrict. I can’t cope with one night away from Doug, how does she cope with all this time away from him?
“I missed you so much Abigail, what have you been doing, tell me everything.” he smiles, looking at his daughter.
“Well, I have been to the park, swimming and my friend Josie came over to play. She told me that her Grandad is from Scotland. She says it is near you. Is it?” she asks.
“Well, not really. But nearer than you are.” Doug tries to explain.
“Where is Sophie?” Doug looks over to me, I told you. He mouths at me. I stick out my tongue.
“She is right here; do you want to say hi?” Doug asks, shifting over so I can take the phone.
“Yes. Yes, please.” she replies. I take the phone and hold it up to my face.
“Hello Abigail.” I smile taking in her little face, “I love your hair.” she beams.
“Thank you Sophie, my Nana is the best at bunches!” I grin at her, “Do you wear bunches?” She asks, looking at me with hopeful eyes.
“Sometimes, not very much though.”
“I think you would look beautiful with
bunches, Sophie.” she coos at me.
“Well, thank you very much, Abigail. Have you been practising your dancing?”
“Yes. Sophie... Will you be with my Daddy when I come to see him?” I look at Doug who nods.
“Yes I will. Unless you want to have your daddy all to yourself.” I smile.
“I can’t wait to meet you, Sophie. I am counting the days. Only seven left!” she jumps up and down on the spot, excitement seeming too much to contain.
“I can’t wait to meet you either.” Doug leans over my shoulder and looks at Abigail too.
“We are going to have such a great time, Abigail.” he says to her making her smile.
“I can’t wait. I think I might pop!” she giggles making both of us laugh at the beautiful sound.
“Don’t do that, how will you come to see me if you pop!” Doug laughs.
“I won’t daddy!”
Doug and I sit for another half an hour listening to her tell us all about her favourite doll, she even takes the phone up to her room to show us Annabel. She gives me a little tour of her room as I haven’t seen it. I feel so included, I think I might pop! When Jane comes to tell Abigail dinner is ready, we experience a full on strop.
“But I’m still talking to my Daddy and Sophie, Nana.” she grumbles.
“Well, I’m sorry about that, Abigail, but dinner is ready. I’m sure your Daddy and Sophie can phone you again later.” Jane’s voice is calm but firm.
“Abigail, go and have your dinner sweetheart. We can speak later. I love you very much, don’t forget it.” Doug tells her.
I look at the screen and notice tears pooling in Abigail’s eyes. My eyes water too.
“But Daddy.” she says, emotion flooding her voice. “I don’t want dinner....” tears begin to fall now, her little chest heaving, “I want... I want...” Jane’s face comes into view as she wraps her arms around Abigail.
“Sssssh.”
The phone is put down, we can’t see but we can hear what is going on. That somehow seems to make it worse. Abigail’s tears seem to get worse; I look at Doug, who has tears in his eyes. I move over and wrap my arms around him. It goes silent.