In his hours of leisure, they were so perpetually together that it became a joke with the men who knew them to say, when asked if Bartley were married, “Very much married.” It was not wholly their inseparableness that gave the impression of this extreme conjugality; as I said, Marcia’s uneasiness when others interested Bartley in things alien to her made itself felt even by these men. She struggled against it because she did not wish to put him to shame before them, and often with an aching sense of desolation she sent him off with them to talk apart, or left him with them if they met on the street, and walked home alone, rather than let any one say that she kept her husband tied to her apron-strings. His club, after the first sense of its splendor and usefulness wore away, was an ordeal; she had failed to conceal that she thought the initiation and annual fees extravagant. She knew no other bliss like having Bartley sit down in their own room with her; it did not matter whether they talked; if he were busy, she would as lief sit and sew, or sit and silently look at him as he wrote. In these moments she liked to feign that she had lost him, that they had never been married, and then come back with a rush of joy to the reality. But on his club nights she heroically sent him off, and spent the evening with Mrs. Nash. Sometimes she went out by day with the landlady, who had a passion for auctions and cemeteries, and who led Marcia to an intimate acquaintance with such pleasures. At Mount Auburn, Marcia liked the marble lambs, and the emblematic hands pointing upward with the dexter finger, and the infants carved in stone, and the angels with folded wings and lifted eyes, better than the casts which Bartley said were from the antique, in the Museum; on this side her mind was as wholly dormant as that of Mrs. Nash herself. She always came home feeling as if she had not seen Bartley for a year, and fearful that something had happened to him.
The hardest thing about their irregular life was that he must sometimes be gone two or three days at a time, when he could not take her with him. Then it seemed to her that she could not draw a full breath in his absence; and once he found her almost wild on his return: she had begun to fancy that he was never coming back again. He laughed at her when she betrayed her secret, but she was not ashamed; and when he asked her, “Well, what if I hadn’t come back?” she answered passionately, “It wouldn’t have made much difference to me: I should not have lived.”
The uncertainty of his income was another cause of anguish to her. At times he earned forty or fifty dollars a week; oftener he earned ten; there was now and then a week when everything that he put his hand to failed, and he earned nothing at all. Then Marcia despaired; her frugality became a mania, and they had quarrels about what she called his extravagance. She embittered his daily bread by blaming him for what he spent on it; she wore her oldest dresses, and would have had him go shabby in token of their adversity. Her economies were frantic child’s play, — methodless, inexperienced, fitful; and they were apt to be followed by remorse in which she abetted him in some wanton excess.
The future of any heroic action is difficult to manage; and the sublime sacrifice of her pride and all the conventional proprieties which Marcia had made in giving herself to Bartley was inevitably tried by the same sordid tests that every married life is put to.
That salaried place which he was always seeking on the staff of some newspaper, proved not so easy to get as he had imagined in the flush of his first successes. Ricker willingly included him among the Chronicle-Abstract’s own correspondents and special reporters; and he held the same off-and-on relation to several other papers; but he remained without a more definite position. He earned perhaps more money than a salary would have given him, and in their way of living he and Marcia laid up something out of what he earned. But it did not seem to her that he exerted himself to get a salaried place; she was sure that, if so many others who could not write half so well had places, he might get one if he only kept trying. Bartley laughed at these business-turns of Marcia’s as he called them; but sometimes they enraged him, and he had days of sullen resentment when he resisted all her advances towards reconciliation. But he kept hard at work, and he always owned at last how disinterested her most ridiculous alarm had been.
Once, when they had been talking as usual about that permanent place on some newspaper, she said, “But I should only want that to be temporary, if you got it. I want you should go on with the law, Bartley. I’ve been thinking about that. I don’t want you should always be a journalist.”
Bartley smiled. “What could I do for a living, I should like to know, while I was studying law?”
“You could do some newspaper work, — enough to support us, — while you were studying. You said when we first came to Boston that you should settle down to the law.”
“I hadn’t got my eyes open, then. I’ve got a good deal longer row to hoe than I supposed, before I can settle down to the law.”
“Father said you didn’t need to study but a little more.”
“Not if I were going into the practice at Equity. But it’s a very different thing, I can tell you, in Boston: I should have to go in for a course in the Harvard Law School, just for a little start-off.”
Marcia was silenced, but she asked, after a moment, “Then you’re going to give up the law, altogether?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do; I’m going to do the best I can for the present, and trust to luck. I don’t like special reporting, for a finality; but I shouldn’t like shystering, either.”
“What’s shystering?” asked Marcia.
“It’s pettifogging in the city courts. Wait till I can get my basis, — till I have a fixed amount of money for a fixed amount of work, — and then I’ll talk to you about taking up the law again. I’m willing to do it whenever it seems the right thing. I guess I should like it, though I don’t see why it’s any better than journalism, and I don’t believe it has any more prizes.”
“But you’ve been a long time trying to get your basis on a newspaper,” she reasoned. “Why don’t you try to get it in some other way? Why don’t you try to get a clerk’s place with some lawyer?”
“Well, suppose I was willing to starve along in that way, how should I go about to get such a place?” demanded Bartley, with impatience.
“Why don’t you go to that Mr. Halleck you visited here? You used to tell me he was going to be a lawyer.”
“Well, if you remember so distinctly what I said about going into the law when I first came to Boston,” said her husband angrily, “perhaps you’ll remember that I said I shouldn’t go to Halleck until I didn’t need his help. I shall not go to him for his help.”
Marcia gave way to spiteful tears. “It seems as if you were ashamed to let them know that you were in town. Are you afraid I shall want to get acquainted with them? Do you suppose I shall want to go to their parties, and disgrace you?”
Bartley took his cigar out of his mouth, and looked blackly at her. “So, that’s what you’ve been thinking, is it?”
She threw herself upon his neck. “No! no, it isn’t!” she cried, hysterically. “You know that I never thought it till this instant; you know I didn’t think it at all; I just said it. My nerves are all gone; I don’t know what I’m saying half the time, and you’re as strict with me as if I were as well as ever! I may as well take off my things, — I’m not well enough to go with you, to-day, Bartley.”
She had been dressing while they talked for an entertainment which Bartley was going to report for the Chronicle-Abstract; and now she made a feint of wishing to remove her hat. He would not let her. He said that if she did not go, he should not; he reproached her with not wishing to go with him any more; he coaxed her laughingly and fondly.
“It’s only because I’m not so strong, now,” she said in a whisper that ended in a kiss on his cheek. “You must walk very slowly, and not hurry me.”
The entertainment was to be given in aid of the Indigent Children’s Surf-Bathing Society, and it was at the end of June, rather late in the season. But the society itself was an afterthought, not conceived till a gre
at many people had left town on whose assistance such a charity must largely depend. Strenuous appeals had been made, however: it was represented that ten thousand poor children could be transported to Nantasket Beach, and there, as one of the ladies on the committee said, bathed, clam-baked, and lemonaded three times during the summer at a cost so small that it was a saving to spend the money. Class Day falling about the same time, many exiles at Newport and on the North Shore came up and down; and the affair promised to be one of social distinction, if not pecuniary success. The entertainment was to be varied: a distinguished poet was to read an old poem of his, and a distinguished poetess was to read a new poem of hers; some professional people were to follow with comic singing; an elocutionist was to give impressions of noted public speakers; and a number of vocal and instrumental amateurs were to contribute their talent.
Bartley had instructions from Ricker to see that his report was very full socially. “We want something lively, and at the same time nice and tasteful, about the whole thing, and I guess you’re the man to do it. Get Mrs. Hubbard to go with you, and keep you from making a fool of yourself about the costumes.” He gave Bartley two tickets. “Mighty hard to get, I can tell you, for love or money, — especially love,” he said; and Bartley made much of this difficulty in impressing Marcia’s imagination with the uncommon character of the occasion. She had put on a new dress which she had just finished for herself, and which was a marvel not only of cheapness, but of elegance; she had plagiarized the idea from the costume of a lady with whom she stopped to look in at a milliner’s window where she formed the notion of her bonnet. But Marcia had imagined the things anew in relation to herself, and made them her own; when Bartley first saw her in them, though he had witnessed their growth from the germ, he said that he was afraid of her, she was so splendid, and he did not quite know whether he felt acquainted. When they were seated at the concert, and had time to look about them, he whispered, “Well, Marsh, I don’t see anything here that comes near you in style,” and she flung a little corner of her drapery out over his hand so that she could squeeze it: she was quite happy again.
After the concert, Bartley left her for a moment, and went up to a group of the committee near the platform, to get some points for his report. He spoke to one of the gentlemen, note-book and pencil in hand, and the gentleman referred him to one of the ladies of the committee, who, after a moment of hesitation, demanded in a rich tone of injury and surprise, “Why! Isn’t this Mr. Hubbard?” and, indignantly answering herself, “Of course it is!” gave her hand with a sort of dramatic cordiality, and flooded him with questions: “When did you come to Boston? Are you at the Hallecks’? Did you come — Or no, you’re not Harvard. You’re not living in Boston? And what in the world are you getting items for? Mr. Hubbard, Mr. Atherton.”
She introduced him in a breathless climax to the gentleman to whom he had first spoken, and who had listened to her attack on Bartley with a smile which he was at no trouble to hide from her. “Which question are you going to answer first, Mr. Hubbard?” he asked quietly, while his eyes searched Bartley’s for an instant with inquiry which was at once kind and keen. His face had the distinction which comes of being clean-shaven in our bearded times.
“Oh, the last,” said Bartley. “I’m reporting the concert for the Chronicle-Abstract, and I want to interview some one in authority about it.”
“Then interview me, Mr. Hubbard,” cried the young lady. “I’m in authority about this affair, — it’s my own invention, as the White Knight says, — and then I’ll interview you afterwards. And you’ve gone into journalism, like all the Harvard men! So glad it’s you, for you can be a perfect godsend to the cause if you will. The entertainment hasn’t given us all the money we shall want, by any means, and we shall need all the help the press can give us. Ask me any questions you please, Mr. Hubbard: there isn’t a soul here that I wouldn’t sacrifice to the last personal particular, if the press will only do its duty in return. You’ve no idea how we’ve been working during the last fortnight since this Old Man of the Sea-Bathing sprang upon us. I was sitting quietly at home, thinking of anything else in the world, I can assure you, when the atrocious idea occurred to me.” She ran on to give a full sketch of the inception and history of the scheme up to the present time. Suddenly she arrested herself and Bartley’s flying pencil: “Why, you’re not putting all that nonsense down?”
“Certainly I am,” said Bartley, while Mr. Atherton, with a laugh, turned and walked away to talk with some other ladies. “It’s the very thing I want. I shall get in ahead of all the other papers on this; they haven’t had anything like it, yet.”
She looked at him for a moment in horror. Then, “Well, go on; I would do anything for the cause!” she cried.
“Tell me who’s been here, then,” said Bartley.
She recoiled a little. “I don’t like giving names.”
“But I can’t say who the people were, unless you do.”
“That’s true,” said the young lady thoughtfully. She prided herself on her thoughtfulness, which sometimes came before and sometimes after the fact. “You’re not obliged to say who told you?”
“Of course not.”
She ran over a list of historical and distinguished names, and he slyly asked if this and that lady were not dressed so, and so, and worked in the costumes from her unconsciously elaborate answers; she was afterwards astonished that he should have known what people had on. Lastly, he asked what the committee expected to do next, and was enabled to enrich his report with many authoritative expressions and intimations. The lady became all zeal in these confidences to the public, at last; she told everything she knew, and a great deal that she merely hoped.
“And now come into the committee-room and have a cup of coffee; I know you must be faint with all this talking,” she concluded. “I want to ask you something about yourself.” She was not older than Bartley, but she addressed him with the freedom we use in encouraging younger people.
“Thank you,” he said coolly; “I can’t, very well. I must go back to my wife, and hurry up this report.”
“Oh! is Mrs. Hubbard here?” asked the young lady with well-controlled surprise. “Present me to her!” she cried, with that fearlessness of social consequences for which she was noted: she believed there were ways of getting rid of undesirable people without treating them rudely.
The audience had got out of the hall, and Marcia stood alone near one of the doors waiting for Bartley. He glanced proudly toward her, and said, “I shall be very glad.”
Miss Kingsbury drifted by his side across the intervening space, and was ready to take Marcia impressively by the hand when she reached her; she had promptly decided her to be very beautiful and elegantly simple in dress, but she found her smaller than she had looked at a distance. Miss Kingsbury was herself rather large, — sometimes, she thought, rather too large: certainly too large if she had not had such perfect command of every inch of herself. In complexion she was richly blonde, with beautiful fair hair roughed over her forehead, as if by a breeze, and apt to escape in sunny tendrils over the peachy tints of her temples. Her features were massive rather than fine; and though she thoroughly admired her chin and respected her mouth, she had doubts about her nose, which she frankly referred to friends for solution: had it not too much of a knob at the end? She seemed to tower over Marcia as she took her hand at Bartley’s introduction, and expressed her pleasure at meeting her.
“I don’t know why it need be such a surprise to find one’s gentlemen friends married, but it always is, somehow. I don’t think Mr. Hubbard would have known me if I hadn’t insisted upon his recognizing me; I can’t blame him: it’s three years since we met. Do you help him with his reports? I know you do! You must make him lenient to our entertainment, — the cause is so good! How long have you been in Boston? Though I don’t know why I should ask that, — you may have always been in Boston! One used to know everybody; but the place is so large, now. I should like to come and see you;
but I’m going out of town to-morrow, for the summer. I’m not really here, now, except ex officio; I ought to have been away weeks ago, but this Indigent Surf-Bathing has kept me. You’ve no idea what such an undertaking is. But you must let me have your address, and as soon as I get back to town in the fall, I shall insist upon looking you up. Good by! I must run away, now, and leave you; there are a thousand things for me to look after yet to-day.” She took Marcia again by the hand, and superadded some bows and nods and smiles of parting, after she released her, but she did not ask her to come into the committee-room and have some coffee; and Bartley took his wife’s hand under his arm and went out of the hall.
“Well,” he said, with a man’s simple pleasure in Miss Kingsbury’s friendliness to his wife, “that’s the girl I used to tell you about, — the rich one with the money in her own right, whom I met at the Hallecks’. She seemed to think you were about the thing, Marsh! I saw her eyes open as she came up, and I felt awfully proud of you; you never looked half so well. But why didn’t you say something?”
“She didn’t give me any chance,” said Marcia, “and I had nothing to say, anyway. I thought she was very disagreeable.”
“Disagreeable!” repeated Bartley in amaze.
Miss Kingsbury went back to the committee-room, where one of the amateurs had been lecturing upon her: “Clara Kingsbury can say and do, from the best heart in the world, more offensive things in ten minutes than malice could invent in a week. Somebody ought to go out and drag her away from that reporter by main force. But I presume it’s too late already; she’s had time to destroy us all. You’ll see that there won’t be a shred left of us in his paper at any rate. Really, I wonder that, in a city full of nervous and exasperated people like Boston, Clara Kingsbury has been suffered to live. She throws her whole soul into everything she undertakes, and she has gone so en masse into this Indigent Bathing, and splashed about in it so, that I can’t understand how we got anybody to come to-day. Why, I haven’t the least doubt that she’s offered that poor man a ticket to go down to Nantasket and bathe with the other Indigents; she’s treated me as if I ought to be personally surf-bathed for the last fortnight; and if there’s any chance for us left by her tactlessness, you may be sure she’s gone at it with her conscience and simply swept it off the face of the earth.”
Delphi Complete Works of William Dean Howells Page 159