by TorreS, Pet
Larsson remains silent. He touches his head on the pillow again, but his green eyes still follow all my nervous movements at the bedside 1.
He realizes that I pretend not to have heard him exclaim my first name. He also sees that I'm totally nervous, playing my role as a nurse. My hands tremble when holding the steel tray.
So I get up and keep my back to him. Still trying to find my concentration near bed 1.
He insists again.
-EMILY FONTANA!
He shakes his head and smiles gently staring at the ceiling of the infirmary.
-I can't believe this!
Nevertheless, I turn myself, slowly. I have to face this once and for all. I need be strong in front of a man who once ruined my life and tore my heart.
- It is...me...
I confess looking in his face. His green eyes stare at me with a glass glow, they travel through my body hidden by white attire. His eyes go up and down the size of my silhouette.
-You look great as a nurse!
His voice brings a malicious refinement. The cranky Larsson Tiger does not let himself down and shows his nails, being the seducer, obsessed with tigers, women, money and fun.
I lower my head. My cheeks blush as red tomatoes. I feel trapped in a look that still bothers me, even after 365 days.
I don't know why.
But they still bother me.
-How...are...you?
My voice sounds sliced. The nervous within me, even affects my vocal cords. I question raising my head and looking toward his bed.
He responds with a seductive voice.
-I would never be alright on top of a hospital bed, Miss Emily Fontana. - There is a pause between his lips. - I confess that you turned my agony in this place in a kind of hope! Something new. You know! I believe nothing is by chance and if I ended up here, it's because fate decreed that you and I meet again. Wow! It's been so long Emily.
I squeeze the ends of the steel tray. Larsson's words scare me. I feel afraid he has come into my life and never want to get out of it again.
I suffocatingly sigh, my heart still runs fast inside me. Though I try to cherish him in deep secrecy.
-I'm...so...sorry...
I say looking at one side.
-I never...would like to see you in this condition.
I stare at him for a moment. His eyes are irresistible even inside a hospital. Soon I gently shake my head and look to one side. I try to hold my tears. I'm afraid to cry in front of him and in front of everyone there.
Mostly, I'm afraid to cry in front of my cowardice.
-With your permission, I need to continue my work.
I inform him and take two steps forward to bed 2. Thus breaking in half our dialogue. There, I try to be professional with Larsson. I imagine he sees me only as a nurse and forget that I was ever a luxury prostitute which often slept beside him in his sumptuous bed.
Chapter 3
Meal at noon
An employee of the hospital arrives at Ward 1, bringing the lunch meals for patients. All had taken their baths and were sitting on their beds, waiting for their food. The food was left in the countertop next to each bed. At that moment I stand, checking some serums which are nearly empty.
Larsson is the last to receive his food. He is leaning on his bed, in an almost sitting position. His fingers hold a warm one. He removes the aluminum foil and smells the soup made of chicken.
-What's this?
He throws the aluminum cover to the countertop beside him. At that moment I look over my shoulder toward him and answer him.
- Chicken soup.
-You're kidding!
Larsson smiles wryly and says bluntly. His voice sounds as aggressive as his bad mood after checking his food.
-I will not eat this shit!
He puts the untouched soup on the counter next to his bed. There is also a disposable cup with natural juice and a red apple for dessert.
Due to its rough and rebellious movement, I turn myself toward him and stare at him seriously for a moment.
-This is your meal, Mr. Tiger.
-Do not call me sir!
He gets angry. He hates being called sir. Not satisfied, Larsson looks up with his look of someone prevailing and calls the girl from the kitchen screaming.
-Hey! Hey! I want a proper meal for me! I'm Larsson Tiger!
However, the woman from the kitchen is far down the hall and does not hear his entreaties.
-Larsson, Behave! - I say through gritted teeth. - You're in a hospital!
He stares at me petulantly. His lips move sharply in my direction.
-The hell with it!! I will not eat this shitty soup! I'm used to eating real food. I'm Larsson Tiger!
The remaining patients look in the direction of Larsson, they do not understand the authoritarian spirit of the bed 7 patient.
Why he say in less than a few minutes the same sentence. 'I'm Larsson Tiger.'
No one here knows the powerful Larsson Tiger.
I inform with empathy and gently move my head from side to side.
-Don't forget that you're not inside a luxury nightclub called L. Tiger. This is a ward of a public hospital.
-Public Hospital!
Larsson exclaims looking sideways. His fingers slide through his dark hair and throw his bangs behind.
Indeed he seems outraged by his situation.
'I command you to transfer me to a private bed immediately!
-There are no Vacancies. They are all occupied.
- Shit! What the hell is this?
Larsson bites his lips in anger and murmurs.
-I can't believe I ended up in this hell!
I look at the countertop next to his table and say.
-If you don't want to quench your hunger with some chicken soup, then eat an apple, Larsson Tiger.
He notices my irony and starts too.
-An Apple is more attractive!
Immediately his fingers hold the red fruit, he bites it and rips a huge chunk all at once, while looking in my direction. For me, carved in a white dress and almost glued to the body. However, he controls the piece of apple almost at the tip of his tongue.
I see eroticism running down his lips, through its language.
Then, I feel confused, a little dizzy. This image stuns my thoughts, maybe my fleshly desires, I would say.
-The fruit of sin.
He ends with his even more seductive voice.
Hearing this, I turn my back, avoiding looking at him, savoring that apple, as if savoring my own naked body.
***
A few hours later
I return to ward 1 for the eighteenth hour medication. Patients are behaving in their beds. Some are asleep. However, I look toward bed 7 and see Larsson almost sitting, his back is supported on his pillow. He looks at me, standing next to bed 2, while I exchange the serum of a patient. Soon his mouth questions something unpredictable.
-Could you get me a cigarette?
I scrunch my forehead. I'm really not hearing this.
I'm dying for a smoke!
He insists.
My head shakes and I look at him and see him still almost sitting on his bed. He holds his green glance in my direction. At that moment I realize that the gold chain with the tiger pendant is not in his neck.
-Are you really serious?
Larsson faces me.
Yes, I am. Look, I've been here for three days without a cigarette! I'm about to have a rage attack in here!
I'm sorry, but I can't cooperate with your addiction!
I look forward again and keep doing my service in silence. Although my thoughts are attached to Larsson Tiger's image and my ears still hear his voice from a few minutes ago.
-It is forbidden the use of tobacco within a hospital. You didn't know that?
-No. - He crosses his arms and seems irreducible. - I hardly go into a hospital.
His eyes film me behind my back. He feels strongly attracted to me with nurse costumes.
-Even though now I'll have good reasons for that.
I roll my eyes, still facing away from Larsson and He continues to say.
'I'd come here to visit you without a problem.
I stare at him again. Totally serious.
- The patient here is you and not me. Who needs to be visited here is you and not me!
He raises his eyebrows and smiles discreetly to me.
-it's true. - He agrees. -In that case you could visit me every day.
All patients there looked to Larsson and start laughing silently. They realize that Larsson's courting me, but they do not know our past together.
-What do you think?
-Ask one of your nightclub girls to come see you! They may not refuse your invitation! Mr. Tiger.
I warn and go out of the room in a hurry, taking with me the steel tray and also some medicines.
Larsson is silent and looks to one side. At that point he recalls his life outside the hospital.
Almost everything he loves is outside of those white walls.
I say 'almost all'.
Chapter 4
The next night
-Hunny, look what I made for our dinner tonight!
Armando exclaims, walking from the kitchen to the dining room, where I am sitting at the table, waiting our evening meal like a robot.
-Umum, It looks good. - I say, trying to collaborate with his culinary skills. - His macaroni is the best of all!
He puts the food tray full of pasta with tomato sauce on the table. His right hand squeezes my cheek, as he says almost smiling.
I'm sorry, but your praise is not valid, my love.
- All right. - My shoulders shake. -I just wanted to state my opinion.
He smiles at me and then I get a peck on the lips. Armando looks for a place in the small round table and sits before me.
-First I want you to taste the olive.
He informs me, taking an olive on top of the macaroni and then putting it on my lips.
-I chew it slowly, trying to make the most of its taste.
-Hmmm, well...- I say and try to smile at him, but my thoughts are elsewhere, in a hospital bed. I see Larsson's image sitting in the bed, looking with his green eyes in my direction. At that moment I shudder and awake from my reverie. Soon my eyes face my reality, I see Armando's face before me. He sucks the macaroni which slides between his lips into his throat.
-What is it? You're not hungry?
He questions, looking at my full plate. I take some time to answer him with a discouraged voice.
-I'm tired...that's only...
I try to prove the macaroni while Armando's eyes still watching me warily. He realizes that it is not only fatigue that bothers me.
There is something else that takes my peace during our dinner.
***
Hours after dinner, I walk to the small balcony of Armando's apartment. I lean my body against the balcony railing and look at the immense and illuminated city before me. There are some more distant buildings. However, my gaze is focused on the colossal starry sky in front of me.
The Larsson Tiger's image in the hospital does not leave my thoughts. Even though I want it to be out of my mind.
I close my eyes and low my head. I feel a tightness in the chest, an anguish that keeps me from breathing softly.
My God I fear everything in my life again!
I spent exactly one year believing that I would never see him again. He would never cross my path.
However, everything is happening in reverse.
At that very moment, he is hospitalized in the hospital ward where I work every day of the week.
That's not fair!
I murmur inside me.
I do not deserve this!
That man again in my life?
After I was fully healed from my sad past?
Within moments, I jump from the fright, when I feel the warm tongue of Armando through my right ear. His fingers usurp my waist and he keeps nibbling the skin on my neck.
- You scared me!
I mutter and turn my face away. He does not realize my coldness in his actions. He insists and turns me to finally kiss me on the lips. I let myself be taken by his kisses full of desire.
However, I open my eyes again and see Larsson Tiger's face in front of my face. I put my hand on his chest and push him away from me.
-No!
-No? - Armando frowns and asks again. - What's going on Emily?
I face him and I see the brown hair, the brown eyes and the flushed skin of Armando. So I make sure that it is not Larsson tiger before me.
-I'm Sorry, Armando. - My head shakes. - I'm not good today.
He approaches me and holds my arm, bringing me to him. Soon I feel his chest against my face.
-What's going on Emily? Speak to your love.
My right hand rests against his chest and I try to explain it again.
-I had a horrible shift these last twenty-four hours. Now I only want to rest and try to sleep to forget everything.
-What was so awful? You never arrived so strange coming from the hospital like today. What really happened there?
-I just want to get some sleep, Armando. Later we'll talk about it, ok?
His lips touch the top of my head and he kisses it unhurried.
Ok, my love. - He holds my face and looks into my honey colored eyes. - You will sleep here today, right?
Slowly I shake my head, saying 'yes'.
Chapter 5
A week later...
Good morning Emily!
Someone tells me while I run recklessly through the hospital corridor. I adjust the disposable cap on my head after I placed my white coat over my set of white skirt and shirt.
My heart races as I run impatiently through the infinite hospital room.
Meanwhile, my heart not only races because of my hasty movements, but also because I'm minutes away from seeing someone that makes my heart, breath, all my emotional being go crazy.
Then, I get to the room and I don't see my head nurse and not even a single nurse is on duty circling around.
Determined, I walk toward ward 1, to the extent that my feet make me closer to her, my heart makes another rapid pace inside me. I imagine I'll soon be in front of the green eyes of Larsson Tiger again.
In fact, like it or not, I will be...
I stop in the passage of the double door at ward 1 and my right hand holds my chest, I need to do this to make sure I have the courage to face another routine duty in the presence of the powerful L. Tiger.
I finally enter the infirmary and look at all the beds there and get surprised when I look at bed 7 and realize that it is empty. The bed is tidy. The patient is no longer there.
Frustratingly, I look to one side. A discomfort nudges me in a profound dose.
Could it be that Larsson Tiger was discharged?
Or did something serious happen to him and should it be removed hastily to the intensive care?
Immediately I turn my back and walk out of the ward. I begin a long walk through the corridors of the hospital. I move quickly between some people and stop in front of a room without a door, my head nurse is there, talking to a supervisor.
Without thinking, I enter the room and make a sign for my boss, saying that I wish to speak with her. She pauses her conversation with the hospital's supervisor and comes to meet me with both hands in the deep pockets of her white coat.
- Good morning, Emily!
-Good morning Mrs. Abigail!
She realizes that my face is pale and confused.
- Something happened? You are livid!
-I??? Eh...
I ambiguously look sideways. An inhuman doubt has stolen my peace of mind this morning.
Oh.. eh...- I try to say.- I realized that the bed 7 is...empty...
I face her then.
- Something serious happened with the patient from bed 7?
However, Abigail smiles slightly. She seems calm.
-You mean Mr
. Larsson Tiger?
My head gently agrees with her question.
-Mr. Tiger was transferred to a private room.
He demanded that bellowing. Since there was an unoccupied room yesterday morning, he was immediately transferred there.
-Thank God.
I mumble with my hand on my chest. I imagined that Larsson had worsened and was in Intensive Care or he had been discharged and I would not have seen his departure from the hospital.
***
Meanwhile...
A nurse is standing next to Larsson's bed. He's exchanging his bottle of serum and punching his vein in the other arm. The patient looks at the nurse and questions him.
- Is nurse Emily on duty today?
- Yes.
The boy says, taking the transparent rubber out of Larsson's arm.
- That's great!
Larsson murmurs and the health professional looks to his face and frowns, imagining that Mr. Tiger is very interested in the company of nurse Emily.
Soon after, someone knocks on his room door and it opens it slowly.
On that occasion, I am stopped on the passage route and look toward the bed and see Larsson sitting on the bed. He seems more heartened. The nurse collects his steel pan on top of the patient's bed and he walks toward the door. He then passes near me and blinks telling me in a low voice.
- He asked for you.
A strange thrill runs through my body. A joy seizes me, however, I remain serious in front of my co-worker. He goes out of the room and I slowly go in. Larsson looks at me and I realize that his eyes shine in my direction. I see him from the side. Larsson realizes that I stop far away from his bed and hold my fingers, avoiding looking at his eyes.
I'm glad to see him ruddier and more heartened. The purple on his left eye is gone.
- I came to know how you are.
He almost smiled and continued staring at me standing well away from his bed. I look to the side and see a TV, a sofa and a fridge.
- Better than seven days ago.
He answers and cannot hide his exultation. Beating his hands on the mattress several times. His fringe comes to the front of his face, hiding his face in profile.