by Kyle Wilson
How did this happen? I decided to go on a great adventure, and I was dedicated to see it through or die trying. I simply decided that I wouldn’t quit, no matter what!
To not quit, you must first know why people quit.
Below are the five most common reasons people quit (usually moments before they achieve success) and what to do about it.
1. They do not want “it” as badly as they think they do.
Is this you? A common symptom of this condition is staying in the education and preparation phase without ever taking any real action. If you speak with people who are stuck here, you will see that they sincerely want to start but are usually waiting on something to arrive first, like more information, a specialized piece of gear or tool, the “right” paperwork, money, permission from someone else, or something else they believe they need to take the next step (action). They are usually concerned with step 10 before they have even completed step 1.
This dreaming, planning, preparing, and hoping without taking any real actions of consequence will only last a short while. Eventually, they find another “opportunity” that seems easier, better, or shinier and drop whatever they are working on for the new opportunity.
People stuck in this cycle are not willing to look bad or foolish in front of others. Their need to look good is stronger than their need for whatever it is that they happen to be chasing at the moment. They do not really want “it” as bad as they think they do!
They are usually comfortable enough with their current situation that their risk tolerance is low and their desire is foggy. This could be caused by a job that pays a “just high enough” salary to keep them where they are, a wealthy spouse or relative that keeps them comfortable (living with mom), or not realizing that they already have what they think they want.
If this is you, break this cycle. Sit quietly in the morning. Imagine the person you love most in this world. Now imagine that they have just been abducted by kidnappers and the ransom to get them back is that you must accomplish the first real action step of the current opportunity you are chasing. If this exercise is taken seriously, it will immediately prioritize your actions, give you energy, clarity, and conviction, and help you realize you already have everything you need to begin taking action right now!
2. They do not believe “it” will work.
The opportunity sounds good, but they do not completely buy in. They do not believe there is a market for this opportunity.
They are “trying” something to see if it works. They are waiting for the opportunity itself to convince them it is real. This approach never works.
Lacking confidence in the opportunity makes it very easy to quit the moment there is a setback.
For instance, if they spend money on marketing and the first attempt fails to bring in revenue, it is easy to justify quitting.
If this is you, break this cycle. Speak with people who are where you want to be. Prepare yourself for the doubts, disappointments, and delays that come with every new journey. Failures are normal and are to be expected but must be viewed as moving forward, not indications that the opportunity is a failure. Robert Kiyosaki, one of the greatest real estate investors of all time, once taught me that if you are not rich yet, it is only because you haven’t made enough mistakes yet―I totally agree!
3. They do not really believe in their own ability.
This, sadly, is a very common reason many people quit.
For them, Sally, Jonny, and Bobby can do it, but they have the right weight, height, age, gender, looks, accent, nationality, territory, family, resources, etc.
A lifetime of believing the lie that they are lacking, less-than, or not enough in some way has convinced many people that they will ultimately fail. This usually begins in childhood and makes quitting very easy. Opportunity failures are seen as personal failures.
If this is you, break this cycle. Sit quietly in the morning. Remember who you are, that you are made in the image of God. Pray for strength and courage. You are enough and you can do this. Naysayers and haters trying to keep you down are scared to death of your potential; they know how powerful you really are. You already have everything you need. You are enough, and the world is at your fingertips. What you think might be your greatest weaknesses and shortcomings are really your greatest advantages and strengths. Take a risk. Seek discomfort every day. Keep moving forward in spite of your doubts.
4. They do not believe in their mentor's ability to show them the way.
Their mentor actually may have ulterior motives like only being interested in selling them more coaching, may not really be qualified to show them how to achieve success in this area (selling information, not experience), may see the world only from their vantage point which does not include the value of your unique gifts, or may not truly be interested in their clients’ success for reasons of scarcity or pride. If this is the case, they need to get a new mentor.
Other times, the mentor may be truly qualified and well-intentioned, but the apprentice does not trust the mentor, so they do not follow all of the mentor’s instruction. All the mentor’s instruction is first put through the filter of the apprentice’s own opinion. They vet the instruction, cherry-pick the parts they think they need for success, and leave the rest.
When they do not trust the coach, they end up seeking the advice of many coaches or they try to go it alone. This causes more work with less return, making quitting very easy. Do you trust who you are following?
To break this cycle, have a conversation with whoever you are following. Clear up any mistrusts or concerns. Get clarity. Confront who you are following, nicely. Have courage and be honest―not polite. If you do not trust your mentor, it will be easy to quit when things get tough.
5. They give-in to the loud opinions of the people they are surrounded by who have not achieved the success they are seeking.
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
You may have heard this quote before, but you may have missed its real meaning.
This is a complete lifestyle change. When applied properly, it will accelerate your speed to your destination and compound your efforts.
Think of using this advice in this way.
Two people―both want to learn how to ride a motorcycle.
The first goes to his family. The family says riding motorcycles is dangerous and expensive. Although none of them have ever ridden a motorcycle before, they speak of accidents they have heard of and all the expense of ownership. They also mention the knowledge that is needed for maintenance that he does not have and the inconvenience of bad weather. Ultimately, this first person does not end up learning how to ride a motorcycle.
The second person starts spending time at a motorcycle club. These individuals are enthusiastic about motorcycles. They discuss great bikes for beginners, the safest roads to travel, and basic maintenance techniques. Because this person is now surrounded by these individuals, good luck seems to appear in unexpected ways. He comes across a great starter bike for a discounted price, he is given secondhand safety gear for free, and he is accepted into the group. This person is now riding daily and getting better at it all the time.
Trying not to be influenced by who you spend time with is like trying to go swimming without getting wet.
More than any other reason for quitting, being surrounded by the wrong people is securely in first place.
Now that you know what to watch out for when it comes to quitting―let’s discuss how to make you unstoppable. Bam!
Below is what I count on and what has proven useful to my students.
1. Before bed, write down the most important thing you have to do the next day.
2. Wake up at 6 a.m.
3. Spend the first part of your day alone with God.
4. Read every day (listen to books as well, but this doesn’t replace reading). I cannot overstate the importance of this activity.
5. Write at least one
sentence in your journal every day.
6. Tithe 10% of all money you earn to God. His promise is real. I attribute the majority of my success to this law.
7. Eliminate all jealousy from your mind and body right now. More for others does not mean less for you! Adopt an abundance mindset and root for others’ success.
8. Adopt an attitude of “progress, not perfection” on the journey towards your goal. You’re never ready. You go when you’re ready enough.
9. Adopt a strategy of “massive imperfect action” on the instructions you are given. You learn by doing.
10. Pray first and hardest for your enemies.
11. Do not speak or listen to rumors.
12. Have a 90-day written goal that a 12-year-old can understand and visualize.
13. Do not put energy into anything not congruent with your goals.
14. Get out of your own way, find someone who is where you want to be, and follow their instruction.
15. Treat every person you encounter with the same respect and love you would treat your grandparent, parent, child, or grandchild.
If you are at rock bottom like I was, know that rock bottom can be the strongest of foundations. Be the hero of your story. Start right now. The great men and women who have come before us left instructions for a successful life, follow their instruction.
When I had let the challenges of life get the better of me, I realized I was simply not following the right rulebook. I discovered that the obstacles I once saw as being in my way to success were actually my fastest path to it.
Making a radical shift in your outcome is the result of making a radical shift in your perspective. The successful seek the condition. The unsuccessful seek the symptoms. Focus first on who you have to be, then on what you have to do.
Right now, I offer a live support real estate investing course for beginners. It is not for everyone. You must be prepared to get out of your own way, take massive imperfect action, and be more comfortable with instruction than you are with education. If you find a real estate training program with more positive reviews…never mind, you won’t!
If you are interested in creating a business that is a servant to you and your loved ones, instead of creating a job that you are servant to, find your purpose, pursue it with determination, and don’t forget the tithing recommendation.
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TWEETABLE
Making a radical shift in your outcome is the result of making a radical shift in your perspective. The successful seek the condition. The unsuccessful seek the symptoms. Focus first on who you have to be, then on what you have to do.
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Tom Krol is a published author, founder of multiple million-dollar businesses, listed on the Inc. 5000, a successful real estate investor, and a coach with the highest amount of successful real estate investing students in the country. His unique coaching method of “instruction over education” has influenced a generation of mentors. Tom and Julie have been married for over 20 years, have five amazing kids, live in sunny Florida, and summer in their mountain home just off the Appalachian Trail. Follow Tom at TheRealTomKrol.com. Check out Wholesaling Inc. at www.WholesalingInc.com .
CHAPTER 14
Leaving My Pack
by Robert D. Burr
M y First Pack
One of the most important men in my life was my grandpapa on my mother’s side. He had been a very successful railroad man. However, alcohol beat him down, and he lost everything. He ended up making a meager living. It was Momma who earned the money. She always owned a small restaurant and served the best food in town. She kept them alive. Papa was sober when I came along, and without a doubt, I was his favorite. Everyone knew Robert Dean (that’s what they called me) was Papa’s guy, and without a shadow of a doubt, Papa was my guy.
He was strict. Everything had to be perfect. Papa was a farmer, and his rows were measured out by laying a line from one end to the other―exactly x feet from the row he had just plowed. We had a large Sunday morning paper route together. It was my job to throw the papers. I missed the front porch throwing a paper one morning and got back in the car assuming he had missed my bad throw. Papa looked at me and simply said, “Robert Dean, these people are our customers and deserve the very best we can give them. Are you happy with where you left their paper?” I didn’t look at him, but I got my butt out of the car, retrieved the poorly thrown paper, and placed it gently by their door.
Papa was also a well-read person and taught me the importance of reading. For over 40 years, I have never gone to bed without reading at least one chapter in a book. It may be pleasure reading, but it is reading. I am always picking up some train of thought from my readings. My subconscious stores this information, and sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, I refer to something I have read over the course of the next few months.
The second most important man in my life was Papa Burr, my dad’s father. Papa Burr was not educated but had more common sense than anybody I have known. It seemed like Papa Burr was always rolling. It seemed like he never stopped. I will never forget the last time I saw him alive and the visit we had. It set the stage for my whole life.
I went by to check on him. He was nearing the end of his time. I wanted to visit with him and let him know that I cared deeply about him. He lived about seven miles back off an old dirt road. Not much of a house. Just a poor old man. When I got there, he was laying on an old cot. I hugged him tenderly, and he told me to sit down next to his bed. Of course, I did exactly what Papa wanted and sat down.
He looked at me in the strangest way. His eyes were bright like he was looking right through me, and said, “Robert, when you leave here today, it will probably be the last time you ever see me alive. I am ready to go on and am looking forward to my next life. However, you are just starting your life, and you need me to tell you a few facts. When you leave me today, drive your car all the way down the dirt road I live on, all the way to the river, about five miles. Stop and get out and look around, then head back down the road and go slow. Look at what is here along this dirt road for you. Nothing.”
He said, “You have a spark that the rest of them don’t have. When you finish school, get out of here. There is nothing here for you. Period. Go to the lights (which we know as the city) and never look back. You are going to be good in whatever you decide to do. However, you must leave this pack, or you will lose in the game of life and waste your God-given spirit to WIN.”
I hugged Papa, and I thanked him for his wisdom and for sharing it with me. I let him know how much I loved and appreciated him being my guy. As I drove out the road, back from the river, for the first time in my life, I did look at the surroundings. I looked at the ragged little kids playing and had tears rolling down my face.
I thanked Papa for his message and for letting me know that it was okay if I left this country and this pack. I began my search for my new pack in life. This was the beginning and the direction I needed. Papa gave me the okay to start my search for my life’s efforts. It felt like a million pounds were lifted off my chest. I was free to roll, and roll we did. It has been such a beautiful trip.
The Search for a New Pack
Doris and I were married very early (our junior year of high school), and that alone was a tremendous growing period. My family was not financially able to help us. Doris’ family were middle-class people with loving hearts, and this is where we lived―with Ma and Pa. They accepted me into the family with open arms, and of course, when our little girl came along, she was their life. I worked every day and every weekend during the summer break. I was doing my best to show I was mature enough to accept the responsibility of a family, and I did what I had to do to keep us in some sort of cash position.
I was a pretty good football player. I led the state of Louisiana in scoring my senior year and had several college scholarship offers. However, with a family and limited help, I determined it was time I took a job and start financing my family’s needs. I went to work for a
n oil company in south Louisiana. The job was a job. No love. No inspiration. I felt like a robot. I can sincerely say that I hated this type of life. I would look around and see guys who were 55 years old or older driving a forklift. I could envision this was where I would end up one day. Not for me. But how could I afford to get out? I needed every nickel I was making to care for my two girls. It was one miserable period of my life. I kept thinking of options I could take, what course was open for me, and my family.
I had worked 14 straight doubles. I was coming in at 4:00 p.m. and working through to 8:00 a.m. the following day. As I was coming out of the plant, I saw the saddest picture I have ever seen. There was a group of guys on a crew truck heading down into the bayou to breakdown and carry out a pipeline no longer in service. I knew in four hours these boys would be soaking wet, and in eight hours they would be completely worn out. They would face this job for at least 14 days. I exploded and started chanting “No, no, no.” There had to be another way.
I got home, sat down with Doris, my beautiful wife, and told her I was quitting this job and going back to college. I could not live this life anymore. I was 22 years old and had been at this type of work for four years. Enough was enough. I had to gamble my family’s well-being on my potential ability to leave this pack and move on, which I did that very day. Leaving this pack was harder than leaving my initial pack. I could stay in HELL in this type of job, or I could gamble my family’s economic future on something I could find that would suit my life’s goal―to find a path that provided me passion for living 24 hours per day and competing in the game of life.
I had to find a path in life that would provide emotional highs and emotional lows. You can’t have the sugar without some pain. Pure and simple, but 100% true. I had the pressures of taking care of school and taking care of my family with NO MONEY coming in. What options were open to a guy with limited education? How could I combine both efforts? Tough deal.