by Kaylee Song
Watching her walk away was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my entire life. I hadn’t expected to fall for her then, and I sure as hell didn’t expect it now.
But she was already there. The moment I saw her I knew that I was a goner. She was even more beautiful than she was back then.
“You didn’t see the look in her eyes when she was pissed at me,” I joked. She was hot as hell when she was mad.
“You still have a chance, trust me.” Jess motioned with her eyes and pursed her lips. “Here she comes now.”
She smiled at the two of us, her hair down and loose, the wind whipping through it as she rushed over to us. “Hey guys.”
“How was work?” Jess asked.
“Oh, you know, the same. Suzy came in twice to gossip. Once on her break and then during her lunch. I couldn’t get away from her,” she said. “Where is Brandon?”
“He’ll be here as soon as he comes off his shift. He had work early then picked up a second shift at the bar. Lunchtime rush.” Jess seemed a little nervous, but I wasn’t sure why. Her and Brandon had been an item since forever.
“Did you bore him with more wedding details?” she asked. “I’m pretty sure as soon as you started talking specific colors of roses his eyes gazed over.”
“They did, but they perked right back up again when I started giving him options for cakes. I’ve never seen a man so interested in almond or buttercream frosting,” Jess teased.
It was a chilly spring evening and the sun was just dipping down below the horizon. Enough light lit up the sky that I could see the flush of her cheeks.
I walked over to her and grinned down at her. “Chilly?” I asked.
“What? I’m fine,” she said. She was trying to hard to play it cool, I could tell by the look on her face. I knew how to read woman like her. Hell, I’d been doing it for a long time.
“Let me give you my coat,” I said as I pulled it off and around her shoulders.
“You don’t need to-“
“I insist.” Tenderness. That was what she needed. Just a little bit of tenderness. It was easy to give and I could tell by the way she smiled that it worked.
“I still owe you a plaid shirt,” she said lashes flittering. An opportunity. An opening. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me.
“Here, let me warm you up.”
I could tell from the heat emanating off of her cheeks that it was working. She was so close to letting her guard down. To letting me in.
“Are you sure he knows what restaurant we are at?” I asked Jess, we’d been sitting there, sipping water awkwardly for the last thirty minutes.
“I texted him to call me three times. I swear to god he better have his phone on him. He’s always forgetting it at the bar.” I could tell she was starting to get nervous. Jess was normally so light, so sweet. I didn’t expect it coming from her.
“Why don’t we order some appetizers while we wait?” Wyatt asked. He seemed completely at ease despite the mounting concern growing on Jess’ face.
“Yeah, sure,” I said. Anything to take our minds off of what this really was.
A forced double date.
I flagged down the waiter who smiled not so pleasantly at us through pursed lips. We’d already held the table for twenty minutes without ordering anything.
I wouldn’t be surprised if our food came with live toads in it at this point.
“Are you ready to order?” he asked as he looked at Wyatt and then me, and finally at Jessie.
I could see the tears forming in her eyes, but she blinked them away quickly.
“Why don’t we get an appetizer platter, a bourbon for me, and around of martini’s for the ladies,” he said.
“No drinks for me, please.” My stomach had been a little queasy all day and I didn’t want to give it any fuel to get worse.
“Could you make mine an appletini?” Jess asked. I saw Wyatt cringe but he didn’t say a word.
I fought back a giggle.
Something told me that it was a cardinal sin to order frilly concoctions in the Graves household. No, men like him were probably brought up drinking scotch straight, no ice.
“Sure,” the waiter said as he pursed his lips even tighter and exited.
I was glad we’d chosen a chain pub, the kind of place that everyone could afford. Wyatt had gently suggested it and Jess readily agreed.
It was not the kind of place I could see Wyatt in though, the frilly drinks, the kitschy decor. He was doing his best to hide his discomfort, but I could see it on his face.
“I’m sure he’ll be here, hon. Just give him a little bit longer. He might have had to work late.” I was coming up with excuses, hoping that it would keep those tears that were threatening at bay.
Brandon burst in through the door as soon as the appetizers were placed on the table. He looked irritated, his hair was a mess and he was still in his work clothes.
In short, he was a hot mess.
“I couldn’t find my phone, I didn’t have time to change, and I went to the wrong restaurant,” he said as he sat down. The smell of spilled beer and fried food hit us hard.
It must’ve been a rough shift.
“I told you how important this was to me,” Jess said, but she kept her voice down. After a tense moment she forced a smile across her face.
“At least we have appetizers,” she said as she grabbed an onion ring and shoved it into her mouth.
“I know what it’s like to work for the ol’ man,” Wyatt said as he took a sip of his drink.
“Yeah, but yours isn’t around all the time. He wanted me to work a double tonight but didn’t tell me until my foot was out the door. It took a twenty minute argument just to get him to let me go,” he waved down the waiter and ordered a double whiskey.
Wyatt just nodded.
“Yours is in town, isn’t he? I saw him over at the bar the other day, he was talking to a couple of suits,” Brandon said. Of course his father would be in there. Another place I was looking to avoid.
I only had enough room on my plate for one Graves.
“Yeah, he’s been looking over the business, making sure I’m ‘handling’ it his way.” Wyatt had a way of making men at ease, and Brandon was not immune to his charisma.
“I hate that. I can handle the responsibility, you know?” He leaned back in his chair and let out a long low sigh.
This should’ve relaxed Jess, but it didn’t. Rather than settling in she stood up, tears in her eyes and said, “I need a minute.”
She beelined it right for the bathroom, I could almost hear her sob as she went.
“Oh what the hell now?” Brandon asked. “She’s been a mess of tears for weeks. I don’t know how to talk to her anymore.” He looked so helpless but that didn’t keep me from wanting to smack him across the head. Didn’t he understand what she was going through? Weddings were hard enough for the bride without the groom being unsympathetic.
I rose, “I’ll go see if she’s okay.”
I didn’t hear what the gentleman said because I was too busy weaving through the tables of families and awkward dates.
I bet out of all of them mine was the most awkward. We’d win the award, I was sure of it, if not the Olympic medal.
I wondered if I could be able to convince Wyatt that this date should count for two. Double the date, double the trouble.
I heard Jess crying as soon as I entered the bathroom, she was in the far stall on the left. She wasn’t exactly quiet.
“Honey, are you okay?” I asked as I grabbed some tissues out of my purse. “Do you want some tissues, gotta be better on your eyes than toilet paper.”
“Yes, please,” she sniffled. I passed them under the stall and gave her a moment.
“What’s the matter, honey?” I asked.
“It’s like he doesn’t care. He just doesn’t care. I told him this was important to me. Told him that it was a big deal, you know? We haven’t been out on a date in so long. And on top of that
I wanted to give you a chance to get to know Wyatt, you know?”
“Jess, I already know Wyatt,” I answered. I didn’t want to come out and tell her this was a bad idea, but it was a bad idea. One that I was already starting to regret.
“You don’t. You don’t know the man he has turned into over the years. If you did I know you would give him a real chance, you know?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. I wanted to keep her talking, get her to stop crying.
“He’s been a real help around town. He pretty much guided me through community college.” She sniffled and then blew her nose.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“He came in to the store and talked to me. Usually tried to find out information about you, at least at first. Not that I knew anything.” She hiccuped and I fought the urge to open that door and pull her into a hug.
“It wasn’t because of you, Jess. Everything was just so messed up.” I was messed up. I was hurting and I didn’t want to share that with anyone.
“Well, anyway, he was the one who convinced me it was worth it to go. I got a private scholarship, no idea where it came from, but I have a feeling it was from him. He’s been a good friend, to me and Brandon. Even offered up his lake house for the wedding. And you won’t even give him a chance.”
I had no idea that he’d done all of that. It wasn’t something I expected of him.
“If I promise to give him a chance will you stop crying?” I asked.
“Depends. Do you mean it?” she asked.
Hell, I didn’t want to mean it, but I didn’t seem to have much of a choice.
“Yes.” I really would, for her sake.
And a man who could do all that couldn’t be the same man who betrayed me all those years ago.
The truth was, I caught him kissing another woman while we were together. I didn’t ask for an explanation, I didn’t need one. I just packed up all my stuff and I took off.
Never looked back.
“Just give me a few minutes, will you?’ Jess asked. “I need to get the last little bit of crying out.”
I nodded, but I realized she couldn’t hear me, of course she couldn’t hear me. “Sure, hon.”
I stepped out of the bathroom to see Brandon standing there, hovering over the door.
A woman approached it and give him a look.
“What you’ve never seen a nervous fiancé before?” he asked her. She shook her head then turned around and walked away.
I fought the urge to laugh. He looked so sad and pathetic. Helpless. Poor guy.
“Is she alright?” he asked.
“She will be, but I think you might want to go in there and talk to her,” I said.
“In there?” he asked.
“Yes in there. She’s scared. She wants to know that you are going to be there. That you are going to listen to her. You can’t just flake out when stuff gets hard, Brandon. She needs you,” I all but shouted it as I poked him in the chest. “You got it?”
There was no room for sympathy when it came to him. Jess was the best friend I had, and I wasn’t going to just let her sit there and be miserable.
“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and then shirked back.
“Good.” I’d had enough of him. I stepped back and let him walk into the restroom then spotted Wyatt. He was positively gleeful.
“What are you smiling about?” I asked.
“Oh, just no-nonsense Rose. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her before.”
“Well get used to it.” I wasn’t interested in being anyone else. Not tonight.
“I think I can handle that.” He said as he approached me, his body so close to mine all I had to was reach out and I could touch it.
I wanted to. So I leaned into him and looked up at those thick lips of his.
“Do you think they’ll be awhile?” he asked.
“I have a feeling she was just getting started.” She couldn’t stop crying no matter her promise, but I wouldn’t hold that against her. I’d still give him a chance.
“Do you want to get out of here? I can take you home, or anywhere else you’d rather go,” his voice sounded so husky, so perfect as he said it.
“Do you have anywhere in mind?” I asked as I looked up at him. I hated to admit it but I wasn’t ready for the date to end.
“I’ve got somewhere in mind.” It was all he had to say, I’d follow him anywhere in that moment.
Anywhere.
“I should’ve known you’d take me here,” she said as she stared over spring creek.
“Best fishing in all of Montana. But mostly I just come out here to relax.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked out over the creek. It wasn’t wide, but it was part of what I considered to be my home.
I loved it.
“Is work that hard?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You said that your father was making your life difficult. Is that true?” she probed, concern on her face.
“What? Oh, I said that to help Brandon get out some of his frustration. I didn’t really mean to say it was that bad,” I explained.
“But yeah, he’s back in town and he is convinced that I can’t do anything right,” I added.
He lit into me this morning, telling me that I wasn’t using his contacts. I preferred to go through proper channels but he insisted that his contacts were hard fought and won.
Kept telling me he was just trying to make it easier for me to be successful.
I wanted it my own way or I didn’t want it at all.
But I couldn’t just tell her that. She wouldn’t understand. Hell, she’d probably judge me for what my father was.
Everyone else did.
I grabbed a flat rock and skipped it across the creek.
“I remember the first time you brought me down here, you told me it was to go fishing. Said you wanted to show me how,” she said.
“I remember too, you’d been a champion fisher, but I didn’t know it. Caught ten to my three. And you grinned the whole time. Fleeced me from the start.”
Her face fell, “I was the one who got fleeced in the end.”
“What do you mean, Rose?’ Was she talking about why she left because I knew that couldn’t the be case. I still had no idea what cased her to run off like that. I was tired of hearing that it was some how this was my fault. That her leaving was all because of me.
The truth was that she decided to run away from me and never look back. That was on her. Not me.
It was a mistake I was desperate to make her see.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet. I made a promise to Jess that I would give you another chance. That I would try to see the man you are now.”
“Do you like what you see?” I asked as I pulled her into me. It was warm for a spring night. Almost like we’d skipped over spring entirely and just jumped right into summer. I could hear the spring peepers croaking up stream.
“I, I think I do,” she said as she looked up into my eyes.
Kiss the girl, my brain shouted. I didn’t hesitate. I bent down and kissed her hard, all of the pent up lust escaping through the meeting of our lips.
She’d been feeling it too, I know she had. I could tell by the way she wet her lips, by the heavy lidded looks she was giving me.
Even the purr of her voice betrayed her.
She wanted me just as much as I wanted her.
“Rose,” I whispered into her ear as she broke the kiss. “Don’t turn away from me again, Rose.”
Her body was so warm against mine. “What do you have to lose?” I asked.
“My dignity.” It staggered me. I wasn’t expecting that answer, but I couldn’t blame her.
Hell, I knew what she was talking about. No other woman caught and held my attention like she did. I’d torn through half the town looking to lose her memory after she left.
I was known for those exploits. The things I did, the way I treated those women. I didn’t call any of them afterwar
ds.
They were disposable, but she wasn’t. How could I make her see that.
“Rose, I would never take your dignity from you,” I said slowly. I didn’t push away from her, I didn’t let go, but I didn’t pull her closer either.
“How can you promise that? I’ve heard the rumors. I know the man you used to be, and from what I’ve been told you haven’t changed much.”
“If you really believed that you wouldn’t be here right now, would you?” I asked, my eyes flashing.
I would steal all the kisses I could from her, but I wouldn’t leave her feeling like I’d taken advantage of her.
I wanted this to be her choice. Not the night or the attraction to be to blame. It had to be all her.
I would show her one hell of a night if she would just look up into my eyes and say yes. Dammit, that’s all I needed from her. One more night.
“I don’t know what to believe. Sometimes I look into your eyes and I see something more. But sometimes they are just… hungry.”
I was hungry for her, that’s for damn sure.
“Do you want me?” I asked.
“What?” she blinked back at me, unsure of what to say.
“Don’t worry about anyone else is saying, Rose. Listen to this,” I pointed to her heart, “and this,” I pointed to her head. “You tell me what you want. I’ll do that. But I’m not going to answer to the townsfolk or anyone else. Just you.”
I knew I had her all confused and turned upside down, but I didn’t care. I wanted her to know that no matter what I cared about what she thought. Not anyone else.
I’d sworn off their opinions a long-ass time ago.
“I don’t know what I think,” she admitted. But I wasn’t going to take that for an answer.
“You do know, Rose. You just need to listen. You need to trust.” I caressed her cheek and waited for the answer.
“I do want you,” she admitted, finally. “It might be the end of me but I do.”
I closed the space between us and kissed her, hard. I wasn’t going to let her get away. Let this moment get away. Dammit, no matter how hard I tried my mind kept going back to her.
So did my heart.
She knocked the wind out of me the moment I saw her. I had to convince her to let me love her the way I wanted to.