Holy hotness, Batman!
Skyler stared at Cody’s flexing, well-developed muscles as his tank-top came off with a smooth, sweeping motion of his arms. His large biceps and deltoids complemented the impressive pecs and the eight tight abdominal muscles on his torso. Cody threw his shirt onto one of the lounge chairs and then winked at Skyler, who blinked with embarrassment. He proceeded to scold himself. Never mind, he’s in the friend zone.
“Perfect pool and barbecue day, Mr. K. Thanks for having us.”
“That it is, Cody. Thanks for helping us clean up.”
“Anytime, anytime.” He and CK started raking the lawn, pulling leaves and loose grass away from the edges of the in-ground pool’s cement decking.
Tracy stepped into Skyler’s line of sight and clapped her hands with excitement. “So, tell me everything. Where are you from? What is your favorite band right now? Do you play sports? Wait, no, never mind, let’s not interrogate you right now.”
“You’re funny,” Skyler said. “CK interrogated me last night, so I’m sure you can’t do any worse.”
Tracy continued. “Oh, did he? Well, that’s nice. So, I live about a block and a half away, in that direction.” She absentmindedly pointed to her left as she swept. “You’re going to meet a bunch of people over the next few weeks, but you won’t remember half of their names. And that’s okay. It’s not like there will be a quiz or anything. School hasn’t started yet. Get it? Sorry, that was way too corny. I think I had way too much coffee earlier.”
Skyler couldn’t help laughing as she carried on. Eventually, his eyes drifted over to Cody, whose eye-candy muscles flexed with each pull of the lawn rake. Skyler found big muscles attractive, but he realized Cody’s muscles weren’t turning him on. You know what, I don’t think you’re my type. Interesting. So, no problem here. That’ll make things easier for me, at least. Skyler shrugged and focused his attention back to Tracy.
“You look tense. Try to relax, we’ll have a blast today. I bet you’ve probably been through a lot, moving in the middle of high school. Gosh, that must suck so bad for you. It must be like starting over. But really, you’re so lucky and all, Skyler—seriously—to live here now. I don’t know anything about you, but you should know the Kelleys are awesome, awesome people. You won the lottery, mister.”
Skyler stared at her incredulously. I should be offended, but damn girl, you are so entertaining! Are you for real? “Uh, thanks I think?”
“Oh, sorry, is that too much? I have no filter sometimes—well, okay—no filter most of the time when it comes to what I think. The words come out of my mouth directly from my brain. They run the stop sign, you know? I don’t mean to be cruel or insensitive at all. I would never do that. Ask those two fine boys over there. I wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I would kill a spider. Hate those eight-legged mongrels.”
“Okay, okay, I believe you,” Skyler said. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you before.” I don’t think vibrant personality is a strong enough description! Tracy is special and unique.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, okay? So, thanks.”
“Uh, you’re welcome?” he said, laughing again.
Tracy put her broom down and took Skyler’s elbow in her hand. She led him over to one of the benches on the deck. “I speak my mind, and you’ll always know where you stand with me. Right now, you’re pretty amazing to me. So, tell me something amazing about your last school.”
“Um…I attended a private Christian academy. This will be my first time in a public high school. I have no idea what to expect.”
“Oooh. An academy. Well la-di-da!” She laughed and mimicked royalty as she waved her hand through the air.
“Yeah, sounds pretentious, doesn’t it?”
“Not really.”
“Oh, okay.” What then?
“I think it sounds more exotic.”
“Ha, exotic?” I would never have described that place as exotic.
“Sure, why not? At Temple, though, you can be anybody you want to be now. You don’t have a history with us.”
“Oh, wow. I never thought about it that way.”
“You can be the new kid, or you can be the new kid.”
“Huh? Isn’t that the same thing?”
“Of course not. The first owns it, the second gets owned by it.”
“What?” You aren’t making much sense here, girl.
Tracy rolled her eyes and smiled. “The first walks in and dictates his social status to the school. The second walks in and lets the school dictate his social status.”
“Oh. You think so?”
“I know so. And you have a leg up already.”
“I do? What’s that?”
“I told you. The Kelleys. Mucho respecto at school.”
“Yeah?”
“Seriously, I know you don’t understand that now. Coming in as CK’s brother puts you at an advantage.”
“So, not being with Kelleys could make someone an outcast?”
“That’s not what I meant, but like I said, you have a choice. Be the new kid, or be the new kid.”
“I don’t think everyone gets to make that choice. Sometimes it’s made for you. But I’ll take your word for it.” I’m not ready to get in an argument with you. I don’t think I would win.
Tracy smiled at him. “Skyler, grab life by the balls. I know you’ve been through a lot. Don’t let that rule your life. You make the most of this opportunity, you hear me? You have it good, Skyler, very good.”
“I wouldn’t call not having my mom here and being bounced around a few foster homes very good.”
Tracy nodded and didn’t skip a beat. “Touché.”
He swallowed and stared at the ground. A leaf caught his eye and danced in the gentle breeze and their awkward silence. Skyler tried to process Tracy’s point of view but his low self-esteem wrestled his mind to submission.
She really has no clue. Shit, she’s crazy, but I can tell she means well. She has a point though—I should get myself back on track. Eventually, this roller coaster will level out and I won’t be thrown through these gigantic twists and turns. I just want my normal teenage life back.
Speaking of normal, did I out myself on Facebook too fast? I just outed myself to people who have no idea I’m gay. All my friends from back home, uh, from the Academy life, have no friggin’ clue. Do I really want to come out on Facebook? Is that the way I want to come out to everyone? No. It’s not. I think the overdose of love and acceptance from earlier today encouraged a moment of stupidity. Or recklessness. I’m not ready for this yet…am I?
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
Tracy turned on the bench and faced him squarely. She grabbed his two hands in hers. “I’m sorry. I come on way too strong sometimes. But I can tell something else is bothering you.”
“Well, I mean, I just moved and all, and I…”
“No, it’s not that. I’m pretty sure it’s not…are you missing someone? Um, Skyler, do you have a girlfriend?”
Whoa. “No, I do not.”
“Have you ever?”
“Um, no.” You’re going there, aren’t you?
She pursed her lips and studied him with her blazing brown eyes. “Out with it already.”
Interesting choice of words. He sighed. “Fine. Look, I’m not making a big announcement or anything, but I’m gay. And there’s, uh, no boyfriend in the picture either.”
“For realsies? I knew it! That’s so exciting. I already know that we will be BFF’s, Skyler Phoenix.”
“You knew it?” he asked, astonished at her admission.
“I had a hunch. A girl does have intuition, you know.”
“That deck isn’t going to sweep itself,” Cody teased from the lawn.
Oh, crap, how much did he hear?
“We’re bonding, give us a moment, will you?” Tracy called out over her shoulder. “What is bothering you then?”
You are so strange and yet here I am, ready to tel
l you everything. What the hell?
“I listed myself as gay on Facebook earlier today. I’m not sure it was the right choice, you know, moving into a new school and all.”
“You’re gay? That’s cool,” Cody said.
“It is?” Skyler asked, shocked. You didn’t figure that out when you caught me staring at you?
“Yeah, it is. Why wouldn’t it be?” Cody asked. CK, beaming with pride, silently raked the lawn behind Cody.
“Uh, being gay hasn’t been cool for me…like before I came here. It’s pretty much the reason why I’m here now.”
“Oh.” Cody answered. He shrugged his shoulders and looked directly into Skyler’s eyes. “Well, it’s totally cool here. Don’t sweat it. Be proud.”
I don’t know how to be proud about being gay.
“So, about Facebook,” Tracy said. “You can be the new kid, or you can be the new kid.”
“Tracy, what the hell does that mean?” Skyler asked. He was sure everyone could detect his level of annoyance at her motivational rhetoric.
Tracy didn’t flinch. Instead, her face lit up with a newfound zeal. “It means, Skyler, that you can proudly begin the school year as the new kid who happens to be gay, or you can be the kid who’s ashamed of being gay and unwillingly asks to get picked on and teased. You’re hurting or something, and although I don’t know why, you’re not going to be the first gay guy at Temple Valley. There’s a fire in you, Phoenix, and even though right now it’s diminished, it’s only a matter of time before it’s set ablaze again.”
“How poetic,” Cody teased. Tracy glared at him.
How do you know this stuff? You’re right. Somehow, you’re right.
CK joined them and gently leaned on his rake.
“Seriously, I would believe her, dude,” Cody suggested. “No one’s gonna care.” He folded his hands over the top of his rake handle and rested his chin on it.
Skyler swatted at an ant that was crawling up his leg. “I dunno. It wasn’t easy before now. Things got, uh, complicated before and…”
Cody put his hand up, signaling stop. “We’re not prying. We’re telling you it’s okay to be gay now, here, in this town, and at Temple Valley. And Sky, things will not get complicated like before.”
“For realsies,” Tracy said. She nervously bit her thumbnail and nodded at Skyler. “We wouldn’t steer you wrong. It’ll be okay.” She gestured to CK and Cody. “Look, we’re not freaking out! Just the opposite—we’re celebrating!”
“Guys,” CK interjected. “Let’s give him some space. It’s his call. Sky, you know where we stand. You’re totally cool with us, and you will be no matter what you decide.”
Skyler nodded and looked at them, taking a moment to look all three of them in the eye. “Thanks guys. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. I’ll tell people as I’m comfortable. But right now, I really need to pee.”
They laughed together as Skyler headed inside to use the downstairs restroom.
* * *
After using the restroom, he decided to check up on what CK had done on Facebook. Since he hadn’t set up his computer yet, he went upstairs to CK’s room. He sat at CK’s computer desk and logged into his own Facebook account. When the page loaded, the red notification badge appeared at the top. He ignored it and navigated to his account settings. His anxiety about coming out got the better of him.
That’s got to come off. I’m not ready yet.
He removed his sexual orientation from Facebook and clicked the save button. Satisfied with his decision, he clicked on the notification badge and smiled when it appeared. The notification message read: Colton Kelley has indicated that you are his brother. Please confirm this request.
Skyler sat back in the chair and smiled. While uncertainty still ruled his life, he felt a sliver of trust with the Kelleys. Their support so far had exceeded his expectations, and Tracy and Cody seemed to be good people. He acknowledged the Kelley’s home offered him the chance, when he was ready, to grow, blossom, and maybe even completely be himself. But for the moment, he accepted the fact that he now had a brother and clicked the yes button.
11 | I'll Take My Chances
THE END OF JUNE ARRIVED and the hot and humid summer days of July settled across the Hudson Valley earlier than expected. Along with the change in weather, Skyler’s first week at the Kelley’s set the pace and routine of summer without the explicit rules Rebecca Tinsdale had enforced. In the mornings, Dale and Liara would head off to work and CK would go out for a run. Sometimes Skyler joined him while other times he explored the town roads that meandered between suburban neighborhoods and beautiful farms on his bicycle. Cody opted out since he had to spend a lot of time in the gym lifting weights with the football team. On the day Skyler found time to set up his computer, he went shopping with Dale and CK at the Crossgates Mall in Albany for a new cell phone. Afterward, Skyler and CK met up with Cody and Tracy for a food court dinner and the latest James Bond movie.
Later in the week, CK and Tracy gave Skyler a tour of the high school and its athletic fields. To Skyler’s amusement, Tracy invited herself to their morning runs and helped set the pace. They spent their afternoons poolside with friends, running errands, or meeting Skyler’s new classmates. During his first week, most of the teenagers CK introduced to Skyler received invitations to his welcoming pool party and barbecue on Independence Day. Skyler enjoyed meeting some of CK’s friends because they would soon become his classmates. Already, around twenty students and several sets of parents confirmed for the party. At the end of the day, Dale and Liara would come home from work and they’d cook dinner together and eat as a family on the patio table on the deck, a ritual Skyler looked forward to.
On Sunday, after a less eventful morning run with CK and Tracy through some farmlands, the scent of bacon reached Skyler’s nose as he and CK jogged around the house to the back deck once more. They found Dale and Liara getting ready for the family breakfast. As promised, the infamous champagne glasses were already set at their places, with a bottle of sparkling juice for the boys and one of champagne for the parents. Dale and Liara sat together on one side of the table while Skyler and CK sat on the opposite side.
Halfway through breakfast, Skyler decided to tell his new family about the chain of events that led to his demise at the Tinsdale’s. CK set his phone aside and looked at Skyler intently, a warm smile on his face. Dale sat forward and propped his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands. Liara held her Mimosa and tenderly looked at him. Skyler had a captive audience.
“Okay,” Skyler said. “Here’s the story, at least how I see it. The Tinsdales were nice people, but I had to follow a lot of rules, most of which came from the Bible. In fact, most of the memorization I had to do for Sunday school included verses about how to live, what you could do, what you couldn’t do, what would keep Jesus your friend, and most importantly, what would keep you from the eternal burning fires of hell.”
CK started to laugh out loud, but he caught himself and stopped.
Yeah, it is a bit silly when taken to an extreme. Skyler smiled and continued. “Everything was fine until about eight months ago. I mean, I knew I was different early on, but I never understood why or how until I started hanging out with Cam, my best friend. Well, I mean, we’re not friends anymore.” Skyler cleared his throat and shifted in his seat before continuing.
“We met at school a few years ago when our churches started doing different things together, so we got to see each other a lot. That’s when I realized he lived a few blocks away from me. We became best friends really fast. We did everything together, including swim team at school and sleepovers on the weekends. Sometimes our families would even church swap and they grew close through our friendship. Bill, his dad, even nicknamed us SkyCam to be funny. He’d say stuff like ‘What’s SkyCam up to this weekend?’ It was corny, but we liked it.”
“For whatever reason, I tended to sleep over at Cam’s house more than he slept over at mine. I think it’s
because his parents weren’t as nosy as the Tinsdales. Cam was musical and he played the guitar and piano really well. He’s the one who fostered my interest in music, hence the guitar you guys bought me. We did a lot of silly singing, played music and video games together, and did normal guy stuff. We always had a blast. About eight months ago, I realized I had feelings for him—strong butterfly feelings I had never experienced before that I always felt when I was with him or when I thought about him.”
Skyler noticed Liara had clasped her hands together. She had a huge smile on her face.
Hmm, exactly how much detail should I get into here? I could probably tell CK if we talked in private, but I don’t think I want to divulge all the details of my short-lived love life and sexual history with you guys. You are still, regardless of the title foster, you are my guardians now. Yeah, no… even if you are okay with me being gay, you don’t need to know everything.
“Anyway, our feelings were mutual and we became…uh…an intimate couple. I didn’t think our parents were suspicious, but I guess I was wrong. Cam told me his parents raided his room and that’s how they found out about us. On the same day, Cameron’s dad stopped by and returned some CDs I had left at their house. He wouldn’t tell the Tinsdales why. Instead, he told Rebecca that Cam and I would not be hanging out anymore and she should ask me why. That’s basically how we got outed.”
“Wow,” CK said. Dale shook his head in disbelief and Liara took a deep breath.
“That’s crazy,” CK said.
Skyler nodded. “You gotta remember, I learned really quick with the church people that in God’s eyes, there’s sin, and then there’s being a homosexual. Sin can be forgiven, homosexuality, well, not so much.”
Liara shook her head in disgust.
“Every night after supper, Rebecca and Stephen—well, Rebecca, mostly—argued with me about turning my life around for Jesus. It was an endless showdown of Bible verses. Rebecca made me go to counseling with Pastor Bob at the church. I had to tell him everything Cam and I had done, in vivid detail. I felt like I had no choice. They had a junior pastor there, too, and because he was younger, Pastor Bob thought I would connect with him better. But honestly, I suspected Levi was gay. He put on a good show but he seemed torn about it, to me. He would say things like, ‘I’ve done bad things, too, or, I know how you feel,’ but would never explain anything directly. Somehow though, I knew he was gay, like me, but in the closet.”
The Climb Page 17