“Apparently my grandfather rarely spoke to her, letting my grandmother rule the house as the matriarch she was. However, he was the one to open the door in the middle of the night when my mother knocked. And if it weren’t for him I don’t know what would have happened to me.” Although, it might have been better than what did happen to me.
When had both Alejandro and Ryan laid their hands on her? Alex was on her left, his palm gently grazing her thigh. And Ryan was on her right, fingers caressing her forearm. The touch was soothing. She found she liked it. Solidarity or something…
“So who raised you?” Ryan gave a little squeeze to her arm, prodding her to continue.
Gazing up at the blue sky filtering through the branches, she continued. “My grandfather fell in love with me on the spot. He snuck us into the house and somehow managed to keep me quiet through the night so my mother could sleep. At least that’s the way he used to tell the story. He passed away when I was eight.
“When my grandmother found out what he’d done that night, apparently they had a huge fight. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who lost in that battle of wills. Grandmother reluctantly agreed to let my mother move back home and keep me … for a price.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Alejandro soothed. His palm never stopped rubbing Lindsey’s leg.
“Naturally my mother was in a bind. She could either leave with me and we’d have been homeless. A young unwed mother with no job. She could go back to the home and give me up. Or she could live under her mother’s thumb and abide by the new house rules.
“First and foremost, my mother had to attend and raise me in the church my grandmother attended. My mother had never been to church. She’d rebelled rather young and had declared herself an atheist.”
“Her mother hadn’t made her go to church when she was little?” Ryan asked.
Lindsey turned toward him and nearly had the breath knocked out of her. The look on his face was one of deep sorrow and concern. For her. For a little girl lost.
“My mother was in high school when Grandma started attending this particular church. She’d not been especially devout until then. Some close friend of hers from bridge club introduced her to Satan.” Lindsey couldn’t help chuckle sardonically. “Literally and figuratively.”
As if on cue, both men lay down alongside Lindsey, sandwiching her between them. Both propped on an elbow and stared into her face. She glanced from side to side and saw nothing but their understanding and acceptance.
Looking back at the rustling tree limbs made it easier to continue.
“Living under my grandmother’s thumb and abiding by her rules day after day was taxing on my mother. Needless to say, she wasn’t very good at it. She tried, for several years, but eventually she strayed. She started doing drugs, drinking heavily, staying out late, who knows what? I was just a little girl.
“It wasn’t the same for me because I never knew any different. Until I was much older, I just assumed my grandmother was in the right and my stupid mother was … well stupid. I couldn’t see the hell she lived through, at least not through her eyes.
“So, I became the good granddaughter, the replacement daughter for the one my grandmother so lovingly referred to as dead to her after she strayed one too many times from the straight and narrow and wasn’t allowed back in the house.
“That was about the time my grandfather died. He had a stroke—little wonder. And that left me alone with a domineering old woman who took me to her crazy church two nights a week and half the day on Sundays. Of course, I didn’t realize at the time the church wasn’t quite the same as any other church.
“Pastor Stone was the captain of a very tight ship. A bit barbaric. Every Sunday I sat through two hours of listening to him spew on and on about the role of women.” In a mocking sing-songy voice, Lindsey quoted the good minister: “Women and children are meant to be seen and not heard. A woman’s place is in the kitchen, tending her family. A man must rule his house with an iron fist. Blah, blah, blah.”
“God,” Ryan gasped. Lindsey didn’t look his way. She was holding back her tears. One look at either man’s heartrending face and she’d never be able to stop the deluge.
“Yeah, well, that’s not the worst part.” Lindsey took a fortifying deep breath and closed her eyes against the world, the sorrowful looks were incongruent against the backdrop of the gorgeous afternoon.
“There’s more?” Alejandro leaned closer to her. She should be suffocating.
“Did you know sex is only meant for procreation?” They both flinched. Yeah, that would startle them. “Uh huh. Between one man and one woman, and it isn’t meant to be enjoyed by the woman. In fact, it’s a sin for her to derive pleasure from the act.” There. She’d said it. She pulled her lips into her mouth and held them with her teeth.
Chapter 7
Seconds ticked by before anyone spoke. It wasn’t surprising. The men were undoubtedly shouting at each other through their weird connection, trying to decide what to do.
Lindsey could feel her chest heaving under the relief of having spilled her childhood skeletons out of her giant proverbial closet.
Hey, they wanted to know why this situation was all so unsettling to her? Well, now they knew.
Eyes still shut to the world, Lindsey pulled her arms up and crossed them over her chest. It wasn’t chilly out, but that didn’t keep her from shuddering.
“You had a rough childhood, cariña. It’s understandable and makes more sense to us now why you hesitate so.”
Her eyes opened finally and she peered at Alex. “Don’t get me wrong. I had a good life. My grandmother was nice to me. She made me work hard, but she didn’t abuse me. I just learned very skewed ideas about sex. It was ingrained in me. I only realized those views weren’t the majority when I went to college. My grandmother died the summer I graduated from high school, and I left the church and never looked back. I’ve been in counseling for four years undoing the damage.”
“Do you see your mom still?”
“Never saw her again after she left. She was in bad shape. I seriously doubt she’s still living. If she is, she never tried to contact me.” Lindsey exhaled.
“We’re so sorry you went through that.” Ryan’s words were soft and stiff. He too seemed on the verge of tears. He would shed tears for a little girl who spent her childhood being brainwashed into believing she was of the inferior sex?
“Hey, that girl is gone. I’m much better now. But … you see how this is hard on me? Sure, I’ve had relationships in the last few years. Almost normal ones even. But this is a big leap.” She glanced back and forth at them.
“It’s one thing to have a counselor help me learn to be comfortable with my body and enjoy what God really intended. It’s an entirely different thing to consider spending my life sleeping with two men. Oh and don’t forget, they’re shape-shifters.” She couldn’t keep out the sarcasm and smiled broadly at them as she teased. “Talk about deviant. Dr. Mathius only delved as far as me learning to relax and enjoy myself with one man. Her current goal has been to help me reach orgasm at the hands of another. I don’t think she could have anticipated this scenario.”
“And have you?” Alejandro held his breath.
“Have I what?” Slept with two wolves? No.
“Had an orgasm…”
“Sure … with my vibrator.” Now she smiled even bigger. Can I shock them? Will they laugh? Apparently not.
They turned even more serious.
“Really? No man’s ever…” Ryan didn’t finish. He looked aghast.
“Hey, don’t be so appalled. Plenty of women don’t orgasm from sex. That’s not so weird, cowboy.” She fidgeted under their intense gazes.
“It is for me. None of my women are left hanging.”
They were so cocky.
“Hey, don’t look at me. I’ve never left a woman unsatisfied either,” Alejandro added. “That’s rude.”
“Listen.” Lindsey lifted her head a few inches, propped he
rself on her elbows. Damn, these guys were overly confident. “It doesn’t always have anything to do with you. We women have defense mechanisms built in that sometimes keep us from … letting go completely, so to speak.”
They clearly weren’t buying it.
“I don’t care if you’re the stud of all studs, women have their own reasons for not coming at your command. Many of which stem from similar childhood beliefs, not necessarily to the extent I was taught, but the idea of totally enjoying sex for sex’s sake is not an unusual hurdle.”
She rolled her eyes when she gleaned they still weren’t quite buying what she was selling.
Sure, both of them had pushed her body on several occasions to the point where she’d thought she’d come without even being touched by them, but still…
*
Joder. Alejandro hadn’t ever met anyone as … fragile as this gorgeous mate of his was. Maybe fragile wasn’t the right word. Emotionally damaged.
“Fuck is right, man. We are going to have to be patient.”
“I don’t know about your dick, but mine is not feeling very patient. Especially after hearing all that. Makes me want her even more. I just want to erase her past. Wipe it from her mind. Replace it with her future.”
Ryan was right of course. Alejandro wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize this precarious relationship. If they could just get her to relax… Let go… He knew they could woo her into their world, it was just going to take time. And a hearty dose of that patience Ryan mentioned.
“Flip over.” Alejandro had an idea.
“Huh?” Her responses came out loud at the same time Ryan uttered the same sentiment inside Alex’s head.
“You’re so tense. I’m the king of massaging out tension. Let me give it a shot.”
She looked hesitant, but slowly turned to her stomach. With her arms resting over her head, her tank top climbed up her back enough to reveal several inches of the glorious skin beneath.
Alejandro rubbed his hands together and reached for her shoulders. “Relax. You just unloaded a weight off your chest that must have been a lot to carry around for all these years.”
“Mmm, I’ve told a few people.”
“Still, that’s a hard tale to unload to the men you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.”
She inhaled sharply.
Alejandro leaned down to speak more directly into her ear. His hands started their magic against her mostly bare shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. You told us. We’re still here. Did you see anyone running?”
“No, but I worry you’ve gotten all cocky thinking you’re the one … the ones who can fix everything, undo my past. It’s not that simple. It’s ingrained from birth. I have issues.”
“We all have issues,” Ryan stated. “We’ll work through them together.”
Lindsey lifted up on one elbow to peer back at them, halting Alejandro’s hands. “I don’t think you heard me. I can’t sleep with two men. Hell, I can barely sleep with one without hearing voices in my head that tell me I’m a whore, a slut, a tramp, essentially disobeying God’s word. That’s not ‘issues’ guys, that’s a deal breaker.”
Alex held his breath. “This might be harder than we thought.”
“We’ll get through it. I can feel it in my heart. We will spend our lives making this woman happy. We just have to be, and I hate to sound repetitive, but patient.”
“Babe, lie back down. One thing at a time. First, a massage. Second, a nice glass of wine. Baby steps.”
“Then we both take cold showers and masturbate in our own separate rooms? Dude, what are we going to do? I don’t think shifters were meant to go this long without claiming their mates.” Ryan actually sounded a bit scared. A glance his way proved he was trembling.
“We’ll figure something out. And yes, we’ll do what we have to do to get her to come around.”
Lindsey moaned softly under the ministration of Alejandro’s skilled massage. His chest pumped out a little more. His dick also got harder in the process. He needed her like he needed food and water. He seemed to be slowly dying inside as though breathing, sleeping, eating, and claiming Lindsey were all necessary things to keep him alive.
“I hate to suggest this, but do you think we should split up?”
“How do you mean?” Alejandro didn’t look back at Ryan. He could guess what he meant. Two days ago, hell even yesterday, he probably would have jumped at the idea. But that was then. It didn’t seem prudent anymore, just more confusing for her in the long run.
Without waiting for an answer, he continued. “No. As much as I hate to admit it, this is a package deal. I know I was pissed to high hell and back when I first found out about you, but you’re growing on me.” He chucked in his thoughts. “We’re a team, we three. We can’t go to bat without one of our players.”
“Yeah, you’re right. And besides, what would we do? Draw straws?” Ryan’s turn to jest.
“Man that feels fantastic. Where did you learn to do that?” Lindsey’s words were garbled against the blanket.
“I have sisters, you know, in Spain. They thought I couldn’t grow up to be a real man if I couldn’t give my lady a nice rub down at the end of the day.” He laughed. “I think all the tutelage was just a ploy to trick me into massaging their own tired, sore muscles.”
“Well, whatever the case, they did good. Thank them for me.”
Alejandro had worked his way down her back and when he reached the bare skin exposed at her waist, he let his hands slide under her tank and work out the stiffness of her lower back.
Her heart rate went up when he did. He could smell her arousal increase for the first time since the pillar incident. Was that just an hour ago or three days?
As her pulse increased, so did Alex’s. And God almighty, he was even aware of Ryan’s. The man was just as turned on as he was, if that was possible.
As if on cue, Ryan picked up one of Lindsey’s feet, pulled off her shoe and started to rub her insole. “Man do I ever wish I were a fairy or something and could make these jeans disappear by magic instead of a simple ordinary shape-shifter.”
Alejandro laughed out loud.
“Look, I may not have the same level of telepathy you two have, but I do know when you’re talking about me, and I don’t like it when you laugh.” Her teasing could be heard through the words.
“Ryan here was just wishing he were a magician instead of a lupine.”
“Ah, well can’t argue with that, but it would probably help if you spoke directly to me instead of discussing my fate behind my back. I’m not completely incompetent. Sure, I had a weird religious childhood, but I’m not entirely unaware of what’s happening between us. I do sense your … feelings. And I have my own.” She paused. “Don’t stop.”
Alejandro looked down. His hands were frozen to one spot, not moving. “Yes, ma’am.”
She plopped her head back down and lay with one cheek pressed to the ground. Her muscles relaxed subtly as Alejandro continued to work his way up her back, pressing her shirt up as he went. When he got to her shoulder blades he couldn’t stretch the tank any farther, as it was pinned under her torso.
She panted lightly, and he looked at her profile while he worked the muscles along her spine. Her mouth hung slightly open, her lips moist from occasionally licking them. Her hair was spread on the blanket like a fan, exposing her neck and ear. He wanted to lie down beside her and nuzzle against her warmth.
Hell, he wanted to strip her naked right here and make her writhe beneath them.
A glance at Ryan showed his expression contorted in stress-filled desire. His brows were furrowed. His eyes narrow. And he had worked his way up to her thighs, which lay slightly parted, her jeans hugging her legs and ass to perfection.
Sweat beaded on Alejandro’s face. “I can’t stand this any longer.”
“I hear you.”
“Would somebody please kiss me already?” Her voice was low, murmured, barely audible. But they heard her loud and clea
r just the same.
Seconds later, both men had her flanked, Ryan, the lucky bastard, on the side she was facing. Alejandro released the pressure on her back and slipped one arm around her waist.
As Ryan began to nibble a path up her neck and across her cheek, Alex gently pulled Lindsey onto her side so her back was flush against his front. He never took his eyes off Ryan’s progress to her mouth and was amazed at how turned on he was watching the action.
He’d had a permanent hard-on since meeting her, but this was a new sensation. Not only did he want this woman more than his next breath, but he also wanted Ryan to have her. He craved creating an experience for her she would never forget.
And he prayed she’d sink into the moment and let that happen right now.
*
Hands were everywhere. What the hell am I doing?
Lindsey couldn’t stop this wild ride. One moment they’d been massaging her back, her feet, her legs, and the next she suddenly needed … more. With an intensity unparalleled.
Her eyes had drifted shut after one look at Ryan’s lust-filled face. His gaze had been directly on hers, serious, demanding…
It was so hot the way they quickly moved around her, as though they’d choreographed the entire thing. Such precision. She didn’t have a moment to pause and think, catch her breath. That was the idea.
Can I do this? Let two men make out with me at once? Can I not?
Will they stop at second base? Third? Or will I be unable to prevent going all the way with one of them?
What had changed? Perhaps unloading her past had loosened her a bit. After all, she’d bared her soul and neither man had seemed appalled. If anything, she’d drawn them closer instead of pushing them away as she’d subconsciously feared.
Besides her inability to wrap her mind around the idea of having a ménage, she’d also struggled with worry over sharing her intimate secrets. Who would want her, really, after hearing about her sordid crazy past and all the baggage she brought to the relationship?
Lindsey's Wolves Page 11