by Lucy Wild
“I know, my dear Watson, that you share my love of all sexual dalliances that are bizarre and outside the conventions and humdrum encounters of husband and wife. You have shown your relish for it by the enthusiasm which has prompted you to chronicle, and if you will excuse my saying so, somewhat to embellish so many of my own little adventures.”
“Your sexual prowess is renowned,” I replied. “There is no need for any embellishment. Besides your encounters have been of the greatest interest to me.”
As I spoke Homes sat back in her chair and the stranger, Wilson, lay back on the sofa and spread her legs as wide as could possibly be managed, making the most indecent imprecations towards me that I found increasingly difficult to ignore.
“You will remember,” said Homes, “that I remarked the other day before we went into the very steamy encounter with Miss Mary Sutherland that for full satisfaction of our loins we must go to life itself which is always far more daring than any effort of the imagination.”
“A proposition which I took the liberty of doubting.”
“You did Doctor, but none the less you must come beside Miss Wilson as you must come round to my view. Now Miss Jane Wilson here has been good enough to call upon me this morning and begin a sexual encounter which promises to be one of the most singular I have enjoyed for some time. You have heard me often remark that the strangest way of reaching orgasm is sometimes associated with the smallest motions. As far as I have heard it is impossible for me to say whether my present encounter is a crime or not but the course of events is certainly the most singular I have ever encountered. Perhaps Miss Wilson, you would have the great kindness to recommence your seduction. I ask you not merely because my friend Dr Watson has not seen your stripping technique but also because your peculiar style of seduction forces me to admit that your methods are to the best of my belief, unique.”
The portly client puffed out her chest with an appearance of some little pride before dressing in the long check trousers, frockcoat and drab waistcoat. She topped it with a frayed top hat and greatcoat gathered from the side of the settee. She motioned for me to sit and then stood in the centre of the room whilst Homes wound the gramophone.
As the sound of a rambunctious tune filled the air, Miss Wilson began to strip and I had to admit I was most perplexed by the sight. She kept on her greatcoat whilst working off her knickers first from under her trousers, then the waistcoat and frockcoat before finally tossing the greatcoat aside and taking a formal bow, whipping off her trousers as she did so.
“Bravo,” Homes said. “Most singular.”
Miss Wilson approached me. “And you Dr Watson? Do you approve?”
She glanced down at my trousers, observing the bulge that her striptease had created. “I believe I do,” I replied. “Singular is the word.”
She sank to her knees and fumbled for my trouser buttons, teasing them apart before reaching in and pulling out my cock. She took it in her mouth while I could only watch in mute surprise at her boldness.
Her technique was like none I’d ever encountered, she hummed whilst licking the shaft of my cock, the vibrations making my loins tingle whilst her hands cupped my balls and she stared up into my eyes.
“Observe this,” Homes said, standing up and crossing the space between us in a matter of moments. She pulled Wilson from my cock and laid her on her back on the rug. Wilson immediately spread her legs and her pussy lips whilst Homes pushed two fingers into her wetness.
Wilson continued to hum as Homes fucked her whilst also licking her engorged clit. Unable to resist the sight of Homes’ pert bottom pointing towards me, I knelt behind her and pushed my cock straight up her. She rocked back onto me until I was buried inside her and all the while Miss Wilson continued to hum.
“Try inserting yourself in her whilst I observe,” Homes said, sliding off me with some noticeable reluctance. I laid on top of the waiting Jane and was drawn to the sight of her flaming red pubic hair as I pushed myself into her.
She wrapped her legs around my back and clamped me in place, thrusting herself up towards me whilst toying with her clit, her arm squeezed between our bodies.
In a matter of minutes I could hold back no longer and with a final slamming of my body against hers, my cock twitched and I fired a jet of spunk into her soaking wet pussy. She came moments later, her entire body shaking as she finally stopped humming, her mouth open and her eyes closed.
When she had recovered, I slowly withdrew as she lay a single kiss upon my lips before beginning to hum again.
“Oh yes,” Homes said when I had returned to my seat and Miss Wilson was again dressed. “She also had a letter she brought with her.”
Miss Wilson reached into the pocket of her greatcoat and brought out a dirty and wrinkled newspaper. As she glanced down the advertisement column with her head thrust forward and the paper flattened out upon her knee, I took a good look at the woman and endeavoured in the style of my companion, to read the indications which might be presented by her dress or appearance.
I did not gain much. Our visitor bore every mark of being an average commonplace tradeswoman, obese, pompous, and slow. There was nothing remarkable about her save her blazing red head and pubic hair and the expression of extreme chagrin upon her features.
Shelly Homes quick eye took in my occupation and she shook her head with a smile as she noticed my questioning glances. “Beyond the obvious facts that she masturbates with her right hand, that she has been in China, done a considerable amount of writing lately, bought nipple clamps last week and indulged in anal sex yesterday evening I can deduce nothing at all.”
Miss Jane Wilson started up in her chair, with her forefinger upon the paper but her eyes upon my companion.
“How in the name of good fortune did you know all that Miss Homes?” she asked. “How did you know that I did manual labour? It’s true for I began as a ship’s carpenter.”
“Your hands my dear lady. Your right hand is quite a size larger than your left. You have wanked with it and the muscles are more developed.
“And the writing?”
“What else can be indicated by the right cuff so very shiny for five inches and the left one with the smooth patch near the elbow where you rest it upon the desk?”
“Well but China?”
“The fish you have tattooed above your right wrist could only have been done in China. I have made a small study of tattoo marks and have even contributed to the literature of the subject. That trick of staining the fishes’ scales of a delicate pink is quite peculiar to China. When, in addition, I see a Chinese coin hanging from your watch-chain, the matter becomes even more simple.”
“And the nipple clamps?”
“The receipt fell from your pocket when you arrived.”
“But how the deuce did you know about the anal sex?”
“Your hole is flared red as after a particularly rough encounter and there is a remnant of dried seed on your right buttock. By the colour and consistency I observed it was most likely produced yesterday evening.”
Miss Jane Wilson laughed heavily. “Well I never,” said she. “I thought at first that you had done something clever but I see that there was nothing in it after all.”
“I begin to think Watson,” said Homes, “that I make a mistake in explaining. Can you not find the advertisement Miss Wilson?”
“Yes, I have it now,” she answered with her thick finger planted halfway down the column. “Here it is. This is what began it all. You just read it for yourself miss.”
I took the paper from her and read as follows.
To the Red Headed Pube League.
On account of the bequest of the late Elizabeth Hopkins of Lebanon Pennsylvania USA, there is now another vacancy open which entitles a member of the League to a salary of 4 pounds a week for purely nominal services. All red pubed women who are sound in body and mind and above the age of eighteen are eligible. Apply in person on Monday at eleven o’clock to Doris Ross at the offices of the Le
ague, 7 Popes Court, Fleet Street.
“What on earth does this mean?” I asked after I had twice read over the extraordinary announcement.
Homes chuckled and began masturbating absently in her chair as was her habit when in high spirits. “It is a little off the beaten track isn’t it?” said she. “And now Miss Wilson, tell us all about yourself, your household and the effect which this advertisement had upon your fortunes. You will first make a note Doctor of the paper and the date.”
“It is the Bonking Chronicle of April 27 1890. Just two months ago.”
“Very good. Now Miss Wilson.”
“Well it is just as I have been telling you Miss Shelly Homes,” said Jane Wilson, mopping the wetness from Homes’ pussy. “I have a small porn business at Coburg Square near the city, It’s not a very large affair and of late years it has not done more than just give me a living. I used to be able to keep two assistants but now I keep one and I would have a job to pay him but that he is willing to come in inside me in return for half wages so as to learn the business.”
“What is the name of this obliging youth?” asked Shelly.
“His name is Vincent Spunking and he’s not such a youth either. It’s hard to say his age but I should not wish for a harder cock and I know very well he could fuck twice as much pussy as I am able to give him. But after all, if he is satisfied why should I put ideas in his head?”
“Why indeed? You seem most fortunate in having an employee who comes inside you. It is not a common experience among employers in this age. I don’t know that your assistant is not as remarkable as your advertisement.”
“Oh he has his faults,” said Miss Wilson. “Never was such a fellow for erotic photography. Snapping away at my naked body with a camera and then diving down into the cellar like a rabbit into its hole to develop his pictures. That is his main fault but on the whole he’s a good fucker.”
“He is still with you I presume?”
“Yes sir. He and a girl of eighteen who does a bit of simple oral and keeps my pussy clean. That’s all I have in the house for I am a widower and never had any family. We live very sexily the three of us and we keep a roof over our heads and pay our debts if we do nothing more.”
“The first thing that put us out was that advertisement. Spunking came down into the office this day eight weeks with this very paper in his hand and he says, “I wish to the Lord Miss Wilson that I was a red pubed woman.”
“Why that?” I asked.
“Why, here’s another vacancy on the League of Red pubed Women. It’s worth quite a fortune to any woman who gets it and I understand there are more vacancies than women so the trustees are at their wits end what to do with the money. If my pubic hair would only change colour there’s a nice little crib all ready for me to step into.”
” ‘Why, what is it, then?’ I asked. You see. Miss Homes, I am a very stay-at-home woman, and as my business came to me instead of my having to go to it, I was often weeks on end without putting my foot over the door-mat. In that way I didn’t know much of what was going on outside, and I was always glad of a bit of news.
” ‘Have you never heard of the League of the Red-pubed Women?’ he asked with his eyes open.
” ‘Never.’
” ‘Why, I wonder at that, for you are eligible yourself for one of the vacancies.’
” ‘And what are they worth?’ I asked.
” ‘Oh, merely a couple of hundred a year, but the work is slight, and it need not interfere very much with one’s other occupations.’
“Well, you can easily think that that made me prick up my ears as he handled his prick , for the porn business has not been over-good for some years, and an extra couple of hundred would have been very handy.
” ‘Tell me all about it,’ said I.
” ‘Well ‘ said he. showing me the advertisement. ‘you can see for yourself that the League has a vacancy, and there is the address where you should apply for particulars. As far as I can make out, the League was founded by an American millionaire. Elizabeth Hopkins, who was very peculiar in her ways. She was herself red-pubed, and she had a great sympathy for all red-pubed women; so when she died it was found that she had left her enormous fortune in the hands of trustees, with instructions to apply the interest to the providing of easy berths to women whose pubic hair is of that colour. From all I hear it is splendid pay and very little to do.’
” ‘But,’ said I, ‘there would be millions of red-pubed women who would apply.’
” ‘Not so many as you might think,’ he answered. ‘You see it is really confined to Londoners, and to grown women. This American had started from London when she was young, and she wanted to do the old town a good turn. Then, again, I have heard it is no use your applying if your pubic hair is light red, or dark red, or anything but real bright, blazing, fiery red. Now, if you cared to apply, Miss. Wilson, you would just walk in; but perhaps it would hardly be worth your while to put yourself out of the way for the sake of a few hundred pounds.’
“Now, it is a fact, as you may see for yourselves, that my pubic hair is of a very full and rich tint, so that it seemed to me that if there was to be any competition in the matter I stood as good a chance as any woman that I had ever met. Vincent Spunking seemed to know so much about it that I thought he might prove useful, so I just ordered him to put up the shutters for the day and to come right away in me. He was very willing to have a holiday, so we shut the business up and he bent me over the counter, his cock already hard as he knelt and licked my pussy until it dripped with wetness. He thrust himself into me a moment later and I moaned at the familiar sensation of him deep in me. He fucked me in that position with my clit rubbing the edge of the counter until I came not once but twice. Only then did he speed up and finally spasm deep inside me, filling me with his cum. Once we had both recovered ourselves we started off for the address that was given us in the advertisement.
“I never hope to see such a sight as that again, Miss. Homes. From north, south, east, and west every woman who had a shade of red in his pubic hair had tramped into the city to answer the advertisement. Fleet Street was choked with red-pubed folk, and Pope’s Court looked like a coster’s orange barrow as all held their dresses aloft to prove their right to the position. I should not have thought there were so many in the whole country as were brought together by that single advertisement. Every shade of colour they were — straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish-setter, liver, clay; but, as Spunking said, there were not many who had the real vivid flame-coloured tint. When I saw how many were waiting, I would have given it up in despair; but Spunking would not hear of it. How he did it I could not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through the crowd, and right up to the steps which led to the office. There was a double stream upon the stair, some going up in hope, and some coming back dejected; but we wedged in as well as we could and soon found ourselves in the office.”
“Your experience has been a most entertaining one,” remarked Homes as her client paused and refreshed his memory with a huge pinch of my bottom. “Pray continue your very interesting statement.”
“There was nothing in the office but a couple of wooden chairs and a deal table, behind which sat a small woman with her legs wide apart and pubic hair that was even redder than mine. She inserted her fingers into each candidate as they came up, and then she always managed to find some fault inside them which would disqualify them. Getting a vacancy did not seem to be such a very easy matter, after all. However, when our turn came the little woman was much more favourable to me than to any of the others, and she closed the door as we entered, so that she might have a private word with us.
” ‘This is Mr. Jane Wilson,’ said my assistant, ‘and she is willing to fill a vacancy in the League.’
” ‘And she is admirably suited for it,’ the other answered, looking under my dress and yanking down my panties. ‘She has every requirement. I cannot recall when I have seen anything so fine.’ She took a step
backward, cocked her head on one side, and gazed at my pubic hair until I felt quite bashful. Then suddenly she plunged forward, shoved her fingers into me and began fucking me until I felt that I might collapse to the floor. As she did so, Spunking moved behind me and forced his cock into my arse, the two of them sliding me between them until I reached an intense orgasm. At this point she wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmly on my success.
” ‘It would be injustice to hesitate,’ said she. ‘You will, however, I am sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution.’ With that she seized my pubic hair in both her hands, and tugged until I yelled with the pain. ‘There is water in your eyes,’ said she as she released me. ‘I perceive that all is as it should be. But we have to be careful, for we have twice been deceived by pubic wigs and once by paint. I could tell you tales of cobbler’s wax which would disgust you with human nature.’ She stepped over to the window and shouted through it at the top of her voice that the vacancy was filled. A groan of disappointment came up from below, and the folk all trooped away in different directions until there was not a red-pube to be seen except my own and that of the manager.
” ‘My name,’ said she, ‘is Mr. Doris Ross, and I am myself one of the pensioners upon the fund left by our noble benefactor. Are you a married woman, Mr. Wilson? Have you a family?’
“I answered that I had not.
“Her face fell immediately.
” ‘Dear me!’ she said gravely, ‘that is very serious indeed! I am sorry to hear you say that. The fund was, of course, for the propagation and spread of the red-pubes as well as for their maintenance. It is exceedingly unfortunate that you should be a spinster.’
“My face lengthened at this, Miss. Homes, for I thought that I was not to have the vacancy after all; but after thinking it over for a few minutes she said that it would be all right.
” ‘In the case of another,’ said she, ‘the objection might be fatal, but we must stretch a point in favour of a woman with such a triangle of hair as yours. When shall you be able to enter upon your new duties?’