“Don’t cry, darlin’,” Braxton says, getting me a kleenex.
“Thank you,” I sniff, dabbing my eyes with it. I should’ve become an actress, I’m better at this than I knew.
“Doll, I’m with Axe, your tears are breaking my heart,” Smokey says, and I reach over and grab his hand in mine. I need his strength right now, because my family is not a topic of conversation I enjoy having. Will they judge me once they know?
“Do you need some water or something stronger?” another man asks. I don’t know him yet, but his vest says they call him Law.
“I’m okay,” I tell them, adding a little sniffle for show.
“I know this must be hard, but we really need to know what we’re dealing with here,” Braxton says.
“What do you want to know?” I ask.
“For starters, do you have any clue why they want you home?” I internally sigh, because there’s a lot of reasons why they’d possibly want me back.
“One reason would be because they like for me to financially support their ‘endeavors’ for lack of a better word.”
“What kind of stuff are they into?” Bandit asks.
“What aren’t they into?” I respond. “Let’s see…my dad is the town drunk. My mom and sister are the town sluts and my little brother is working his way up the chain of a local gang. They didn’t like the fact that I changed my last name and moved out. My brother even threatened to sell me for a profit when I refused to pay his cell phone bill once. He’s a real piece of work. Are you sure you want me to continue?” I hear a growl and am not sure which direction it came from, but it was a scary sound, almost as if it came from a wounded animal or something.
“Sold,” I hear whispered from next to me. Only it wasn’t the kind of whisper you’d use to tell someone a secret.
“So what you’re saying is you tried to get away from your family of origin. How did you end up here?” Law asks.
“Well, I had a great job, had been there since I changed my name and had worked my way up to the office manager position. So, I was there almost four years I think? Anyhow, I went in one Monday morning and was called into my boss’ office. When I went in there, they terminated me, stating I lied to them. When I asked what I lied about, they said my name. I still don’t understand how that was a lie, because I have legal paperwork, including an updated birth certificate, showing my name to be Hannah Nicole Nelson,” I state.
“That sounds illegal as fuck,” Bandit states.
“What was your name before you changed it to Nelson?” Hatch asks, and I see he’s really wanting the answer since he’s on the edge of his seat. Literally.
“Manchester,” I say slowly, as if it’s acid on my tongue. They have no clue the shit I dealt with or the torment I withstood because of my last name. None. The taunts that I would become just like my mother and sister, the whispers whenever I walked by. My head drops as the memories begin to swirl around in my brain. White-trash. No good piece of shit. Whore. Now the last one is laughable because I’m still a virgin. But when you have a mom and a sister who flaunt their stuff all over town, I guess I can understand the leap that I’d be the same way. For once I want someone to get to know me before they judge me. It’s what I was hoping for with Smokey and Bandit.
“Don’t look so frightened there, doll. We’ve got your back, you may not realize it yet, but you will…soon,” Smokey says to me, and for some reason, I believe him. I don’t trust easily, but if they can deal with my past, who am I not to give this a shot with them?
“I’m going to try,” I tell him, “but with the people from my past, trust is a hard thing for me to give,” I tell him honestly.
“Trust is earned, we get that,” Bandit says to me. “But we promise you, that when you give us your trust completely, you will recognize who it is that will never leave you in despair.” Aww, that’s kinda sweet.
“Bandit, run a search on Manchester, will you?” Braxton asks.
“Let me grab a laptop and I’ll start it now,” he replies, getting up from his seat. I bite the inside of my mouth, nerves getting the best of me now. What if what they find out makes it to where they are no longer willing to help me? What if they figure out, my strings that come attached, are too much for them to deal with, and they kick me to the curb, like the trash my family is?
“Get your head out of there,” Smokey whispers. “I can see you’re thinking that what we might find is gonna be too much. Doll, you don’t know it yet, but we’d fight anyone to keep you here.”
“You just have no idea who you’re messing with. My biggest fear is that with you digging into them, they may find out and take it out on me.”
“Gotta get through all of us, first,” Law states. Smokey gives him a nod, one of those man things I’ve noticed since being around them, and I want to roll my eyes. They don’t know my brother, Butch, or that ragtag bunch of assholes he runs with, the Devil’s Demons. Those guys always gave me the creeps because their eyes looked dead inside. I wouldn’t put it past them to have been involved in some of the home invasions that were happening in my old town. Let alone the missing women who sporadically kept disappearing. I’ve always felt they were involved, but I wasn’t brave or strong enough to point fingers in their direction. I was living alone after all. I wouldn’t have been noticed as missing until day three of not showing up for work, or when my parents or sister needed monetary support from me. The shudder that wracks my body has Smokey pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me. Safe. I’m safe here. Maybe if I chant it enough, I’ll start to believe that fact.
“Anything else?” Braxton asks.
“Not that I can think of right now,” I state. There are some secrets a woman has to keep to herself, maybe in time I’ll share all, but I’m not ready for that yet.
“If you don’t mind then, Hannah, could you go back out with the other old ladies while we wrap up our meeting?” Braxton asks me.
“Sure,” I say, standing up and walking out of the room. Passing everyone with my head held high, pretending as if I have no shame to hide.
Bandit
I pass Hannah in the hallway as I head back to church. I grab her hand with mine and gently squeeze it in silent support. She squeezes back, making my heart soar with relief that she’s starting to become comfortable with us.
“Okay, start your scan and give me the laptop,” Axe states when I’m back in our room and the door’s closed.
“What? Why? I usually track this shit for us,” I reply.
“Because you and Smokey are too damn close,” Twisted says. “Let us see what the searches find and see what, if anything, we need to worry about with regard to Hannah.”
Knowing that they’re not going to let this go, I quickly go to the sites I use and type in every version of her name, both old and new, and hit ‘search’ before sliding the laptop toward Axe. “I did multiple searches, brother,” I tell him, “no clue what’ll pop up but she was hiding something and we need to make sure that she’s safe as well as everyone else here.”
“Definitely need to make sure there’s nothing that can blow back on the club,” Twisted states.
“Works for me. We’ll call church again when they all come through,” Axe announces. “Now, how’s it going at the truck stop?”
“We’ve had the usual growing pains, of course, but so far, we’re in the green. I’m getting Hannah to fill out paperwork so she can start working. Plus, she wants to waitress on the diner side, and judging on how busy it is, I think it’s a good fit,” Smokey advises.
“Now, we have another topic to discuss here today.” Axe begins, “Chief was able to track down who it was that bailed Cliff out of jail the night he was run down.”
“Sure was,” Chief states. “It was his brother, who, when questioned stated that he had no idea what his brother had done, only that he received a call from him asking him to bail him out. Says if he’d known he would’ve never done it. According to what I’ve been able to piece together
, as soon as he made bail, he began stalking our house, hoping for an opportunity to grab the girls. Instead, he found me out and about and decided it would be best if I was out of the picture and not around to protect them from him.”
“Sounds reasonable, if it’d been my brother, I’d have bailed him out no questions asked,” I tell the room.
“Yeah, he’s pissed that he was used like that, though, he has a family of his own and it killed him knowing that his brother hurt his daughter and stepdaughter deliberately. He is hoping that Trinity and I will let him and his family meet the girls even though we’ve adopted them. I’m of the opinion that more family is always a good thing, but am investigating him to be on the safe side before I let him around my woman and girls,” Chief says.
“Law, when are you planning on taking off?” Axe asks.
“As soon as I’m sure I’ve got nothing coming up on the dockets,” he replies.
“Sure am sorry about Ava, man,” I say. She wasn’t like our other old ladies who run around here, she kept to herself and kinda appeared high maintenance, but still, losing a long-time girlfriend sucks.
“It hadn’t been working for a long time. She didn’t really care for the club, so there was no way I was making her my old lady and quite honestly, if I can’t make someone my wife and old lady, they don’t need to be in my life at all,” Law says.
“She wasn’t old lady material,” Hatchet says. “She never tried to fit in with the women and always snubbed her nose at Nan. Not acceptable in my books.”
And once again, we’re like a bunch of gossiping old women. “Hell, even as busy as Paisley has been lately, she makes time to connect with her girls and to be here at the clubhouse. In fact, I know if Tig wasn’t home sick, she’d be here probably running Hannah through the inquisition!” I state.
“Paisley’s been going through some things,” Twisted says. His voice is so quiet, it immediately silences the rest of us. She’s always been so outgoing and full of life, hell, she brought Cara and DJ into the RGMC fold with no problems at all.
“Anything we can help with, brother?” Axe asks.
If I hadn’t been watching him, I would have missed the way his eyes teared up before he swallowed. “No, man, appreciate it. We…fuck…no other way to say it… we were pregnant and she miscarried. Doctors say she probably can’t have any more, would be too big of a risk.”
My heart drops for them. As much as they love kids and as active as they are with all the activities Tig is involved in, losing a child and then being told they shouldn’t have any more has to be devastating. “So that’s why she’s kind of been holding back?” I ask. It makes sense, she came up and saw Cara after she had the twins, but then made the excuse that she needed to get back to the clubhouse to help Nan cook.
“Yeah. I’ve tried to get her to talk to the other old ladies, but she doesn’t want her mood to overshadow the happiness that everyone else has going on.”
“Man, we’re a family and that’s what family does. They support one another in the good and bad times,” Smokey states.
“I hate that you two are going through that, and that she feels like she needs to keep to herself. Just know that we’re here for you, because I’m sure you need to talk and get it out of your system as well,” Axe tells him. And suddenly, I feel like we’re taking place in some sorta family infomercial. Did we grow vaginas and someone cut our cocks off? I guess most of them have truly handed that man card that Hatch is always talking about off to their women. What a shame, Hannah will never have hold of our balls like that…maybe? Oh fuck, who am I kidding she already does, but doesn’t even know it.
“If anyone else has anything they want brought up, now’s the time,” Axe says, changing the subject, which I’m grateful for. I thought maybe we’d be bringing out our cocks and comparing sizes or some shit. The only one who needs to worry about my length and girth is Hannah and that’s only when she’s taking me inside of that delicious body of hers.
“Nothing? Alright, dismissed,” Axe says, slamming that mighty gavel of his down on the scarred table. I get out of my chair as quickly as possible, suddenly wanting to get Hannah out of here and go take care of everything else we have on our plates today.
Only when I get out to the main room, I see all the old ladies congregated around Paisley and realize that she’s told them based on the tears I see streaming down all of their faces. Fuck. I can handle almost anything except a woman’s tears. There’s something about that sight that will bring most men down to their knees, me included. I walk over to Hannah and crouch down in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “C’mon, baby, don’t cry,” I all but beg.
“Can’t…can’t…can’t help it,” she stammers out between sobs. I look around and all of my brothers now have their women in their laps trying to comfort and calm them down. Standing, I scoop Hannah up and then promptly sit back down with her in my arms.
“It’s okay, Hannah, get it out,” I tell her. Somehow, I know this is more than what Paisley shared with the women. When I realize that she’s not calming, I nod to Smokey and he comes over and takes her from me.
“Shh, doll, c’mon now, everything’s gonna be alright,” he murmurs to her. I look over and see that Twisted is escorting Paisley out of the room. Hannah’s taking this really hard and we need to make sure she understands that we not only have her back, but will be there for her however she needs us to be. A bright idea hits me and I think that when we take her out shopping today, we should concentrate on not only purchasing her clothing and personal items, but get her an easel and some canvases and whatever she uses. Paint, charcoal, colored pencils, whatever, I don’t care as long as it makes her happy and gives her something else to concentrate on and enjoy. And that gets me thinking that we need to make sure the room she uses has sufficient light in it. If not, we can add a studio onto the house. “C’mon, doll, let’s get you cleaned up so we can get on with our day,” Smokey tells her, leading her back to our room at the clubhouse. She hasn’t seen it yet and I’m sure she’s gonna be shocked as hell, but we’ve made no bones about our lifestyle so she needs to get used to it. He carries her into the bathroom and then leaves her to clean up.
“Man, she’s really wrecked,” I say once he’s closed the bathroom door. I’m keeping my voice down, but think it’s important we discuss this quickly while she’s otherwise occupied.
“Yeah, thinking it’s more than what Paisley shared, too. I don’t think she told the full truth at the table today.”
“You’re right. She’s hiding something and she almost acted embarrassed. I’m thinking shit happened to her even if she is an innocent.”
“We’re in for a helluva lot of cold showers.”
Chapter Six
Hannah
I wipe my eyes in the bathroom and think to myself that I need to put on a stronger poker face when it comes to these men and women. I can’t…no I won’t come off as weak. I need to stand on my own two feet and not be dependent on other people. You can only count on yourself in life, something I’ve unfortunately learned the hard way it seems. Then I think back to the love and devotion I witnessed today and I find myself longing to feel that. “Someday,” I say to myself. I hold my shoulders up and my head high when I finally exit the bathroom and am taken aback by the looks of, dare I say it, longing on their faces. For me! These two hot as fuck men want me and only me. That seems to make something inside of me break away, not sure what, but whatever it is let’s go and opens up to them.
I shake my head to clear the thoughts and throw them a smile causing them to return it.
“You ready to head out, doll?” Smokey asks me, and I nod my head letting him know that I am. I’m afraid if I speak right now, all of my emotions will come out. These two seem to miss nothing when it comes to me. He grabs one of my hands and Bandit grabs the other and we leave their room at the clubhouse and head back out to the main room. “We’ll catch y’all later,” Smokey hollers out to those still in the main room, most
ly the few single guys and what I’ve learned are the prospects. I still don’t understand this life, or the lingo that goes with it, but it seems more like a giant family than anything, so I’ll roll with it. For now. Giving each of their hands a squeeze, I grin when I feel their eyes on me. “You okay?” Smokey asks.
“Yeah, think I am for the first time in a long time,” I answer.
“Stick with us, khaleesi, the best is yet to come,” Bandit whispers in my ear, causing a shiver to run through my body. I still don’t know how all of that will work. I mean, two men with two dicks and four arms and four legs? The possibilities are endless, and I find myself wondering when it’ll finally happen.
“When it’s time, doll, and not a moment sooner,” Smokey murmurs in my other ear. Fuck! Can’t a girl have her thoughts without the men in her life knowing them? Apparently, with these two, the answer is no. I need to get my A game on and stop letting everything I think and feel show in my face and come out in my voice. I mean, a woman has rights to some privacy after all!
“Know what you’re thinking, and it will never happen. You can’t hide things from us, all of our attention is on you and what we’re trying to build here. One day, the roles will be reversed, and you’ll have us figured out enough to know what we’re thinking and feeling at all times. We won’t divest you of that, so don’t even try to take that from us either.”
“Are you some kind of mind readers or something?”
“No, we just pay attention to body language and facial expressions, nothing more and nothing less,” Bandit says to me. Hmm, this doesn’t bode well for me. Then again, if what he’s saying is true, at some point, I’ll ‘get’ both of them as well.
“We have a lot to get accomplished this afternoon, our first stop will be at the truck stop to get the employment paperwork completed, then we’ll head down and get your drug test done. Then, we thought we’d take you shopping and not just for clothes either, doll,” Smokey says winking at me. That wink! Dear Lord, the things it does to my body.
Smokey & Bandit: Rebel Guardians MC Page 7