Chapter 11
Xavier’s voice was flat when he told Karina his story “I was raised in a Roman Catholic Orphanage in Sydney. I have no idea who my parents were. The orphanage was run by an elderly eastern European fear of God type of Priest, Father Josef. My upbringing was strict to put it mildly,” his eyes trailed off at some long ago memory and for a moment Karina thought she saw tears welling. “God was used as a punishment for just about everything and the punishments were old school. For some reason though, which even now I can’t explain, I loved the tradition of it all, the history, and the passion with which he taught us about God and his disciples. When I turned eighteen I wanted to turn to the brotherhood. I wanted to be a Priest, spread the word and help people.” Xavier’s voice trailed off as he looked blankly toward the window. Karina put her hand on his and squeezed it gently, encouraging him to continue. “It had been six months and I was sitting in church listening to Father deliver his sermon, his voice raised and lowered for effect in all the right places. Sweat beaded on his brow with the conviction he put into his delivery and I hung off every word he spoke.”
“I could feel someone’s eyes on me throughout the sermon, but ignored them. When it came time to receive communion I saw the eyes of the person watching me. A woman, beautiful she was. Not much younger than me, she had curly auburn hair and hazel eyes. Coming from an all boys Catholic orphanage I hadn’t seen many girls and when I did there was always a flutter I felt in my stomach. But, this girl was different, she left me weak at the knees and with a feeling in me I knew to be wicked. She left with her family after mass. The following week I saw her again and every Sunday after that in the weeks that followed. Each time we would exchange looks, a wave but nothing more. My thoughts were being driven to her, an obsession; she was all I could think of. My mind strayed from my studies and I started to have impure thoughts about her, dreams during the night and eventually personal gratification. Father noticed my growing distraction from my studies and took me aside; asking me what was troubling my soul. I told him of my feelings; he asked me if I’d acted upon them. I told him not directly. He knew what I meant and told me I had the devil inside me and by responding to these feelings that I was his minion. He excommunicated me from the brotherhood and put a devils curse on me. I was given 50 lashes for my impure thoughts and then a banishing ritual; I was stripped of all my clothing. Sister Maureen aided him in the ritual, she rubbed an ointment over me then covered me with some type of pelt, and chants were made in an ancient language I didn’t understand. I was sent out into the world alone for the first time in my life.” Xavier’s breath was now ragged and shallow his shoulders hunched; these memories were painful for him. Karina had a suspicion that this was the first time he had ever spoken of it. “When the first full moon came I didn’t know what was happening to me. My skin felt hot, like it was on fire and... stretching. Pain stabbed every part of me and my head felt like it would explode. I tried to claw the demon that was at work inside me, to get it out of my body but nothing worked.” Karina’s hand slowly traced over the scar that ran along Xavier’s shoulder and he nodded. She thought of Larry, of his manic state at the last full moon when he clawed at his face. The warning he gave her of the one who walks like a man but howls at the moon. It now made sense. Had Larry been cursed too? “You’re a lycanthrope,” the words came out barely above a whisper.
Xavier nodded “That’s why I’m no good for you Karina. I’m dangerous.”
“How long ago did this happen?”
“Too long ago,” His eyes were dark and intense. Karina felt every pain he was feeling at that moment.
“Can you return to the church? Is there any way the curse can be broken?”
Xavier let out a derivative snort as he got to his feet and walked to the window “God abandoned me a long time ago Karina.”
“How long does the curse last?”
He let out a long frustrated sigh “No one really knows. When all of this happened, I started studying legends and myths to find out what I had become. There I discovered that lycanthrope have natural enemies. Vampires and witches among others. The only being that wasn’t drawn to kill me was the Tuatha De Danann, which if the stories are to be believed, have all died out. As I said, you’re the only thing that’s good for me Karina.” His eyes held hers with a desperation and vulnerability she had not seen before. Xavier needed her and this made her stomach drop.
“So you only want me because nature dictates that I don’t want to kill you?” Karina stood and reached for her dress again, slipping it back on and covering herself where the buttons had been removed “That’s reassuring Xavier, thanks,” she headed for the door.
Xavier stopped her, pleading “I know this is a lot to take in, but believe me when I say that I want you for more than what you are Karina. I want you for who you are. Your beautiful, fiery, caring self.”
“I have to go,” she whispered unable to meet his eyes, to see the pain on his face. Karina knew how hard it must have been for Xavier to confide in her, but something deep down inside was telling her that she was being used.
“Don’t.” he begged.
Karina shrugged off his hands and opened the door.
The Beast Within Page 11