Dess and Maggie bounded through the door, Maggie immediately marching up to her as if to tell her all about their walk.
“Did you have fun on your walk?” Erika said to the dog, patting its smooth head.
“Wow,” Dess said, looking around appreciatively. “Candles and wine. I’m impressed.”
Erika hit the play switch on her iPod docking station, then handed Dess a glass of wine. Tracy Chapman began singing about a fast car. “If I’m not mistaken, you promised me a dance.”
Dess set down her glass of wine. There was a hint of a question in her eyes, but there was no hesitation in the beckoning gesture she made with her hand. Erika wanted to run into her arms, where she knew she would feel sheltered, as though her heart had found its home. Instead, she walked up to Dess, placed a hand gently on her left hip, and held up her other hand, which Dess quickly clasped. They began to sway together in time to the music, their bodies keeping a respectable distance apart, as though they were strangers.
Ha, that’s a laugh, Erika thought. Only a few hours ago they’d been making out like a couple of teenagers, fitting together on the floor like the pieces of a puzzle slotting into place. They’d gotten to first base, she supposed. Or was feeling up Dess second base? Na, she thought, probably just first base. Second base definitely would have entailed a little bit of nudity. The thought made her gasp out loud.
“You okay?”
“I’m good. More than good. Except I really need to hold you closer.”
Dess stepped closer. “You only needed to ask, you know.”
“Hmm, that simple, is it?” Erika purred. If that were true, she had plenty of things she wanted to ask Dess. Like asking her to get down on her knees, for one. Taking off all her clothes for another. Oh God, stop it! She wants to go slow, remember?
“You’re burning up,” Dess whispered. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“A little overheated, that’s all. Okay, more like a little overexcited.”
“Then maybe we should take a little break.” She led Erika by the hand to the sofa, where they collected their glasses of wine.
Taking a break was the last thing Erika wanted, but it was probably the wise thing to do. Any minute now, she was going to explode.
“Can we talk?” Dess asked, her eyes hard to read in the low light.
“Of course. I’d love to talk.” And as soon as I make love to you about fifteen times, we can talk all you want.
“Earlier,” Dess said, the seriousness in her voice immediately sobering Erika, “you asked me the real reason why I was scared to get serious about you. About us.”
“Yes?” Erika’s heart pounded like steel against an anvil. A part of her was afraid to know the answer.
“I…” Dess took a slow sip of her wine first. “I need to be sure this isn’t just a fling for you. Because I don’t want this to be only about sex.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Erika took Dess’s hands in hers. “Of course it’s not a fling. I don’t do flings. And even if I did, I would never waste a fling on you.”
Dess’s eyebrows rose adorably. “You wouldn’t?”
“Of course I would. I mean…no, that’s not right. I wouldn’t. Waste it, I mean. Because I’d love to…you know, but not in a way that…oh shit, I’m making this worse, aren’t I?”
Dess threw her head back and laughed. Oh, that neck, Erika thought with a fresh wave of desire. So soft, so smooth, and the sexy way it curves. I want to kiss that. Now!
Instead, she quickly gathered herself. “What I really mean to say is that sex with you would be like the cherry on an ice cream sundae. And what I want is the whole sundae.”
Dess swallowed visibly, all traces of laughter gone. “I’ve never had a good relationship. I don’t even know if I know how. Honestly? Relationships scare the shit out of me.”
“They scare me too. I’m no expert at them, but I’m not afraid to fail.”
“I think I am,” Dess whispered. “But I don’t want to be.”
Erika took her into her arms and rocked her gently, and for a long time they didn’t speak, just listened to the quiet guitar picking of Jesse Cook on the iPod. Erika kissed Dess’s forehead, ran her fingers through the soft stands of her hair, wanting to promise a litany of things. She’d promise her the world right now. But Dess didn’t need her promises. Dess needed time to see that her actions meant more than words.
“You know that I was hurt before,” Dess finally continued. “And I don’t know if it’s fair to blame everything on Dayna, but I don’t want to start something with someone who might leave me again when the chips are down. That’s what I truly fear.”
“Dess—”
“No, let me finish, please. I’m cancer-free now, but there are no guarantees.”
“Of course there aren’t. There never are. With anything.”
“Erika—”
“No, Dess. Wait.” She tilted Dess’s chin up so they could look into each other’s eyes. “I’m not a quitter. I would never do that to you. I play for keeps, okay?”
A tear trickled down Dess’s cheek. Tenderly, Erika wiped it away. Then she pressed her lips to Dess’s because she needed that connection between them. Trust was going to take time, she reminded herself. But a kiss was a damned good start.
She was about to pull away when Dess surprised her by throwing her arms around her neck and pulling her closer. She pressed her body into Erika’s, pressed her mouth harder into hers and instantly deepened their kiss until they were both gasping for air.
“If you keep kissing me like that,” Erika said hoarsely, “I can’t be responsible for my actions.”
She could feel Dess smiling against her cheek. “Feeling a little animalistic?”
“Oh, if you only knew,” Erika said, silently acknowledging to herself that she would remain in a tangle of pleasure-pain for as long as she was around Dess. There was no release from this. Even if Dess were to make her come six times right now, she’d never get her out of her blood, never be liberated from her insatiable desire for her.
“Then maybe we should settle things down with another dance.” Dess held out her hand. “I love this Uncle Kracker song.”
Erika smiled. The song was exactly the way she felt about Dess, and she knew in that moment that she was in love. You make me smile, Erika began to sing along, and they laughed as they moved into each other’s arms.
Chapter Fourteen
Dess and Erika danced to another three or four songs, never stopping their rhythm even as they fell into a romantic kiss every verse or so. Dess had pondered many times the question of whether there was a heaven after death. And while she was no closer to an answer, she knew that if there was, she wanted it to feel exactly this way.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Erika whispered against her.
“Hell, I’m holding out for at least a dollar.”
Erika squeezed her. “You drive a hard bargain, lady. Especially since you’re the one with all the money.”
Dess feigned surprised horror. “Oh no. You’re not a gold digger, are you? My mother warned me about those.”
Erika’s laughter made Dess smile. “Tell me you didn’t spot my shovel and hard hat in the closet?”
“Come to think of it—”
Erika swatted her ass lightly. “Keep it up and I’m going to spank you for real. And with your pants pulled down.”
A tingle swept up Dess’s thighs. Imagining Erika sliding her pants down her legs, caressing her way back up… It was almost too much, and Dess stumbled a little.
“Whoa, I’ve got you, baby.”
They tightened their hold on each other, and Erika bent her head to kiss Dess. Oh, Dess thought, I could kiss these lips for hours. It was like a guilty pleasure, except there was nothing to feel guilty about. Dess happily let the kiss go on and on, losing herself in the thrill of it until all sense of time and place vanished. The kiss only stopped when Erika pulled back to look deeply in her eyes.
“Do you feel safe w
ith me, Dess?”
There was nothing to think about. She did feel safe with Erika, and that was no small thing. She felt strong with Erika too. “Yes. I do. More than you know.”
Erika stroked her cheek, her jaw, her eyes never leaving Dess’s. “Then come to bed with me.”
Dess gasped. A low thrum at the base of her spine, in her belly, had commenced at Erika’s bold suggestion. “This,” she answered in a trembling voice, “is going to change everything.”
“I know. But with you, I want everything to change.”
Dess placed her hand in Erika’s and let herself be guided to the bed. Giving up control had never felt so easy, so right. For once, she didn’t question her next move, didn’t analyze the crap out of it. Whatever happened now was going to be exactly the right thing.
Erika sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes roaming ravenously over Dess as she stood, legs apart, before her.
In a voice thick with lust, Erika said, “Take your clothes off.”
Dess shed her blouse first, slowly sliding it from her shoulders, letting it billow to the floor like a parachute. Her eyes never left Erika’s face, and she smiled at the slight tremble in Erika’s jaw. And at the rapid rise and fall of Erika’s chest. Knowing she was turning Erika on only heightened her own desire. She wanted Erika to touch her. Anywhere. Everywhere. She needed Erika to touch her. But only Erika’s eyes caressed her as she unclasped her bra and let it too fall to the floor.
“Oh, my,” Erika muttered on an exhalation.
“More?” Dess teased.
“Oh God,” Erika moaned. “I might not survive it, but yes. Please.”
Dess released the button on her capri pants, then the zipper. She’d never felt so desired, so appreciated, as she caught a flash of Erika’s tongue escaping her mouth, as if it were impatient to get to work. Oh, yes, Dess thought. I want that tongue, those lips all over me. I want her mouth to suck me, to lick me, to make me come. Her legs trembling, she slipped the cotton pants down her hips and to the floor, where she kicked them away. Only her panties remained.
“Goddamn, you’re beautiful,” Erika breathed, her eyes again sliding over Dess like a blanket. “But, um, sweetheart?”
“Yes?”
“You forgot something.”
Dess laughed and said in a teasing voice, “If you want my underwear off me, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”
Erika leapt from the side of the bed and knelt before Dess, her face inches from Dess’s belly as nimble hands reached out and carefully slid the underwear down her hips and thighs. Dess held her breath, ready to burst as she waited for Erika to touch her.
“You’re so, so beautiful,” Erika whispered in a voice full of awe.
Then touch me.
Erika reached for her ass, cupping each cheek firmly, as her mouth kissed each hip, each thigh, and Dess wanted to collapse into a heap. She was so wet, her desire a thundering pulse between her legs. All she wanted now was to experience the joy she knew Erika would give her, followed by its sweet, mind-blowing, violent release.
The first touch of Erika’s tongue sent a laser beam up and down her spine. She clutched two fistfuls of Erika’s hair, pulled gently on the silky waves as confirmation resonated that this was really happening, that this gorgeous young woman was actually kneeling before her, pleasuring her with her mouth. Her legs shook, and they threatened to collapse under Erika’s oral ministrations.
“My…legs,” Dess sputtered, pleasure rocketing up into her belly.
Erika guided her to the bed, the momentary absence of her mouth nearly making Dess beg for its return. Erika settled her on the edge of the bed, and, still on her knees, kissed and nipped her inner thighs.
“Oh,” Dess breathed. “Please, baby.” Okay, I’m begging now, but I don’t care. “I need you. I need…your…mouth…on me.”
It was pure liquid pleasure as Erika’s tongue circled her clit, then delivered the quick hard strokes that Dess craved, tossing her like a little boat in a thrashing sea. Every nerve ending ignited, every sense was thrown into overdrive. And when Erika plunged two fingers inside her, Dess was a goner. Synchronized perfectly, the strokes launched a wave of ecstasy that began in her curled toes and rumbled its way up her legs, like a massive tsunami overpowering everything in its path. Oh, yes, Dess thought, I am going to be selfish, dammit. I am going to come over and over again. I don’t want this to stop. Ever.
She reached down and pulled Erika’s mouth harder against her, pushed her hips higher to accept Erika’s fingers more deeply. “Oh God,” she cried out. “I’m coming, baby. Oh, I’m coming so hard.” The shudders roared through her body with a crushing force. She rode the sweet, powerful, undulating waves like a surfer. And Erika, God love her, didn’t stop for a single second. Her tongue kept flicking, kept stroking, kept pushing her back to the precipice to start the delicious sequence all over again.
“Oh, Erika,” Dess rasped. “Honey, you’re going to kill me with kindness.”
“Good,” Erika muttered against her thigh. “That’s my plan. And just so you know, I’m not stopping until you come at least three more times.”
Her mouth resumed its glorious pursuit, and Dess welcomed the gathering of another volcanic orgasm. She was melting from the inside out. She would be a puddle on the floor before this was all over. But God, she couldn’t stop. She was giving her body completely over to this woman as pleasure consumed her like an out-of-control wildfire. She let herself be possessed by Erika and her spectacularly talented mouth and fingers. God, she loved the way this woman made her feel. That was the truth, even if her voice refused to give life to the words.
Erika’s fingers remained inside Dess, even as she let Dess pull her up so they could kiss.
“You’re wonderful at this,” Dess purred, the glow of orgasms and happy exertion leaving her sleepy and spent. She pelted Erika’s face with more kisses. “Do you know how wonderful you are?”
“Only with you, sweetheart. Only with you.”
Erika’s fingers began moving inside her again, and instantly Dess grew hard and wet. She was ravenous with Erika—a horny, libido-driven teenager who couldn’t get enough sex, who couldn’t say no. And it set her free. For the first time in decades, she was untethered from her fears, her cares, her worries. What it all meant for her, for them, for their summer tour, for after their summer tour, she would think about later. Much later. Right now she wanted to come again, and she moaned her acquiescence. Yes, her moan said, fuck me good.
And Erika did. Her fingers plunged hard inside Dess and her mouth devoured her breasts, her nipples. Dess was quick this time, rocking against Erika as the violence of her orgasm pulverized her. She opened her eyes to a self-satisfied grin.
“You’re…pretty pleased with yourself,” Dess said, smiling through her breathlessness.
“No, sweetheart. I’m pleased with you. You’re a tiger in bed.”
Dess squirmed, embarrassed. “I’m not normally…I mean, I didn’t…I haven’t…”
“Stop trying to apologize. Or justify. I love it. And I love you.” Devotion and conviction rose in Erika’s eyes. She wasn’t lying.
Dess swallowed hard against the tide of emotion. She cared for Erika too, but it wasn’t that simple. Love was much more than the dopamine-saturated high she got whenever she was around Erika. And it was certainly much more than the great sex they were sharing. And great was an understatement!
Dess rolled herself on top of Erika and kissed her neck, her luscious throat that sang directly to the heavens. She wanted to do all the things to Erika that Erika had done to her. And more. Slowly she worked her way down, feeling Erika tense in anticipation. Her skin quivered wherever Dess touched her.
Erika moaned. “I want you so badly, Dess.”
“And I want you, darling.”
“I’m not a patient woman, just so you know.”
Dess smiled against her stomach. “I’ll remember that.”
“No. Really. I mean it.�
��
Erika gently pushed her down, down, down, until Dess was nestled between her thighs. Her center rose up to meet Dess’s mouth, not waiting, and her need shot fresh arousal through Dess. With her mouth and her tongue, she worked the velvety moist flesh as though it were the most delectable, sweetest fruit she’d ever tasted. Erika pushed into her, and Dess devoured her with a fervor and boldness she’d not shown before in making love to anyone. She nearly came herself when Erika bucked against her and screamed her name. “Oh, yes, baby, I’ve got you,” Dess answered soothingly and slid her way up Erika’s body. They moved against each other, whispering dirty things to each other, nipping each other’s flesh, leaving little bruises. Heat and friction and tension fused them together in a possessive dance that said yes, they belonged together. They rocked harder and harder together, increasing the friction until they both exploded in a shattering orgasm.
Exhausted, sweat-slicked, Dess moved off Erika and lay beside her. They both panted as if they’d completed a marathon.
“Oh my God,” Erika said. “That was incredible.”
Dess giggled wearily. “I don’t know what we’re going to do for an encore, but I think it’s going to have to wait.”
In seconds they were asleep, limp noodles curled in each other’s arms.
* * *
It was after five in the morning when Erika slid her hand over Dess’s naked thigh, wanting to wake her but not wanting to be obvious about it. She wanted Dess over and over again. Even her dreams during their scant hours of sleep had been about making love to Dess.
She’d been thrilled and surprised by Dess’s eagerness in bed. Each time they’d made love, they’d only grown hungrier for each other. And Erika knew exactly why. It was because they were in love, because only love made sex this good. Even if Dess couldn’t say the words, it was okay. Erika wouldn’t rush her. She would be patient with Dess, because she loved her. And because Dess was worth it.
Dess shifted against her, awakening with Erika’s bold caresses that had moved to the soft skin inside her thigh. Erika felt Dess’s breathing increase and moved her hand higher to cup Dess between her legs. She was greeted by velvety moistness.
The Song in My Heart Page 13