by Katie Ginger
‘We really should go and see what the Langdon Mansion offer though,’ said Tom, brushing a hand through his hair. He often did it without thinking. There were a few gentle lines appearing on his forehead and around his mouth where he smiled so much. ‘I’ve been saying for ages you need to go and actually have a look around. We can get one of their wedding brochures too.’
‘I’ve already got one of those. Brenda got me one as soon as I mentioned the idea. She thought it would give me some standards to work towards.’
‘That’s my mum,’ Cat said with a sad shake of her head. ‘Ever supportive.’
Though Cat was joking, Nell sensed something more from her tone of voice and a weight behind her words. She mustn’t forget to ask her about the wedding dress before the night was out.
‘You should definitely go,’ said Kieran. ‘It’ll be good for you to see the space and what they offer. Pictures are fine, but there’s no substitute for being there.’
‘We could all go,’ said Nell.
‘Nah, you and Tom go. We’ve got wedding plans to discuss most nights.’
‘That’s true,’ Cat agreed. ‘We’re going to get busier and busier as things count down. I cannot wait to become Mrs Kieran Gleeson – or you can take my surname.’
‘I don’t mind that.’ Kieran’s chest puffed out. ‘I think Kieran Wilson sounds quite nice.’
Kieran and Cat shared another sweet kiss and Nell turned to Tom. He raised his eyebrows in a ‘they’re-at-it-again’ expression.
‘But,’ said Cat, ‘it is about time you went to the Langdon Mansion, Nell. You can’t keep pretending it’s all going to be all right in the end if you just cross your fingers and believe. You’ve taken some tentative steps, but you really need to get moving. You’re like one of my newly pregnant ladies who’re nervous of doing anything because of their babies.’
Cat was a midwife and an amazing one at that. Nothing seemed to faze her, and she knew just what to say to chivvy you along without sounding cross. At least she did most of the time. Tonight, she sounded a little stern with Nell. Was that what she’d been doing so far? If so, Cat was right, and it was definitely time to plough ahead with the dinner idea and check out her competition. ‘Okay, then.’
‘Great,’ said Tom. ‘I’ll book us a table.’
The evening went on nicely with chatter and laughter and a few reminiscences of old times, and Nell enjoyed it, but she still hadn’t had a chance to speak to Cat about the dress. At ten o’clock, when they were about to leave, it seemed desperate measures were called for and she grabbed Cat’s arm, pulling her away from Kieran and Tom who were still chatting, having only made it to the front door. ‘So, which dress is it? I’ve had to wait all evening to find out because you’ve been glued to Kieran’s face.’
‘Jealous much?’ Cat teased.
‘Completely but that’s not the point. I need to know what dress you’ve chosen.’
Cat looked away, and dread pressed down on Nell. ‘I thought I’d go for the ruffled one.’
‘The princess gown that feels like a back brace?’ Gripped by surprise and worry that Cat was letting her mum guide her too strongly over the wedding, Nell said, ‘Are you sure that’s what you want?’
‘I thought about it and I think Mum’s right that this is the most important day of my life and I should wear something that looks amazing. She said the tea dress looked like something I could wear to a party. And they are paying for it.’
‘But that’s no reason to—’
‘It’s fine, Nell. Honestly. I’ve made up my mind, okay? I don’t need you pushing me about it.’
‘Okay,’ Nell replied, shrinking back. She didn’t want to row with Cat over this or anything else for that matter. She wanted her wedding planning to be as fun as the big day. To Nell, that was even more important for brides-to-be because they often spent more time on the planning than they had on the day itself. Every aspect of the run-up should be fun. And it was Cat’s choice at the end of the day. No matter what Nell thought about it, Cat had always made her own decisions and Nell would support her. Yet, it wasn’t sitting well, and she didn’t really know what to make of it.
With the conversation finished, she said goodbye to them all and with no guests in the hotel and none expected to arrive, locked the front door and made her way to her basement flat to watch Bridget Jones’s Diary – or should it be 27 Dresses? She hadn’t had the chance to watch that last night and right now she just wanted to disappear into a world where it was certain that everything would work out in the end.
Chapter 3
November
Thursday afternoon, Tom arrived back from his lunch break to watch his apprentice, Janie, plonk a bunch of pale cream roses into the silver display bucket. The stems bounced off the bottom making a tinkling noise that set his teeth on edge. Pushing back his floppy, blond hair, he said, ‘Janie, don’t forget to treat the flowers gently. If you throw them around, you’ll bruise the stems or the petals and then we won’t be able to use them. Okay?’
Janie turned, looking like he’d just praised her to high heaven rather than told her off a bit. ‘Okay, boss.’
Tom shrugged off his thick wool coat and hung it out the back. He wasn’t very good at telling people off and really should have been firmer as it wasn’t the first time Janie had done it, but then, she was such a sweet girl and so perpetually cheerful he didn’t want to be the one to make her frown. She was still learning but was coming on well and showed a particular aptitude for the management side of things. She’d also proved incredibly responsible and given all of that, he didn’t mind waiting till the next time she did it. He’d be just a little bit firmer then, using the tone of voice he kept for Nell when she’d fallen into her own little dream world again, or become pessimistic about the hotel. It was a tone of voice he found himself using more and more as she was worried about failing her parents and running the lodge into the ground. All nonsense, of course, and he’d tell her so when they went for dinner that night. The Langdon Mansion Hotel had been so busy, this was the first reservation he could get. Just then, Janie placed a cup of tea in front of him, bringing his attention back.
‘Thanks Janie. We’ve got a few orders to make up this afternoon. Do you want to do the birthday hatbox or the new baby basket?’
Janie blew on her tea to cool it. ‘Is it for a boy or a girl?’
Tom checked his order book. ‘Girl.’
‘Then I’ll do the baby basket. I love doing girlie ones. Did they say what colours they wanted?’
Tom checked again and as he did little dots appeared in front of his eyes. He tried to blink them away, but the stubborn swimmers refused to budge until he squeezed his eyes tightly shut and opened them slowly. ‘Umm, I’ve written pinks and creams with splashes of yellow for a touch of joy.’
‘That sounds nice.’
He waited for her to say something about the blinking incident, but she didn’t seem to have noticed and was now choosing the basket and flowers that would hopefully make someone’s day.
Standing side by side, they both took a moment to assess the array of blooms in front of them. The till counter ran across the back of the shop and along one wall was a workbench covered in tools, ribbons and trinkets that he and Janie shared between them. The other wall was stacked high with silver buckets all of which contained the most beautiful seasonal flowers and foliage. Bright yellow walls made it feel like the sun was shining, even on this cold, gloomy November day. Through the large front window onto the high street, the sky above was a plethora of shades of grey. Between the dark charcoal rain clouds, smaller, hopeful misty white ones were buffeted together, losing the battle against impending rain.
Even though it was only early November, Christmas orders were beginning to come in and Tom couldn’t wait to get started. He was a big kid at Christmas and absolutely loved getting into the festive spirit, doing so as early as possible. Tom could just see himself and Janie dancing around in Christmas hats as the radio
played out and they created gorgeous green wreaths, and winter-inspired bouquets with shiny red baubles. A new catalogue had arrived yesterday full of Christmas things he could decorate his bouquets with, and it was going to be a struggle not to order everything in it. The window display would be changed soon, losing the pumpkins, the warm orange roses and the all-important symbolic poppies, and gaining something festive. Something containing mistletoe and holly with ruby-red berries, and lots and lots of tinsel and giant Christmas baubles and … He could feel the excitement building and took a sip of his tea.
They settled into their normal working pattern of listening to the radio which was already starting to play Christmas songs in between the normal cheesy pop Janie loved. There were numerous cups of tea and a few moments where they assessed each other’s arrangements and made some suggestions. Janie was developing a great eye and Tom was becoming ever prouder of her as she grew and developed under his tutelage.
Just before five, Kieran popped in. His job as a gardener meant he tended to finish with the daylight, and sure enough, the sky behind him was turning a muted dark blue. Somehow the rain had stayed away, the strong winds having blown the cloud cover over them and out to sea. Though his shaved head made him look a little bit like a thug, in reality, you couldn’t meet a gentler soul, and he’d only shaved his head after going prematurely bald at 28. Without thinking, Tom ran a hand through his hair almost to check it was all still there.
‘Whatcha.’ Kieran pushed the door open and winked at Janie, coming to rest on the counter behind which Tom was fiddling about and preparing for the following day. ‘You coming to the pub, Tom?’
‘Ah, no, sorry, mate. I’m meeting Nell at the Langdon Mansion for dinner. We’re scoping out their menu.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ Kieran wiggled his eyebrows in an innuendo-laden manner. ‘Your date.’
Feeling the heat rise on his cheeks, Tom turned to Janie. ‘Do you want to finish for the day, Janie? There’s nothing else to do and if you go now you can catch the early bus, can’t you?’
Her eyes widened in hope. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Course I’m sure. You’ve worked your socks off today. Go on.’
‘Thanks, boss.’ Rushing out the back to grab her coat and rucksack, she said a hasty goodbye and made her way into the darkness.
Once she’d left, he turned back to Kieran. ‘Will you please stop doing that in front of Janie? I don’t need the whole world knowing how I feel about Nell.’ A sudden wave of panic washed over him as cold as the winter sea. ‘You haven’t let slip to Cat, have you?’
Tom always worried that with them being engaged, Kieran might accidentally tell Cat that Tom had been in love with Nell for years. The four of them had been friends since they all met at university in the nearby city of Halebury and Kieran had guessed his secret quite early on. So far, he’d managed to keep his gob shut, but Tom did worry that might change with Kieran and Cat now getting married. Married couples shouldn’t have secrets as far as Tom was concerned and he felt a twinge of guilt that he was placing Kieran in an awkward position. His fear of rejection and how uncomfortable things would be if Nell found out were forcing him to keep Kieran quiet.
‘Don’t worry, I haven’t. Your secret’s safe. The whole world doesn’t know, only me. You don’t have to tell the whole world though, you know. You could start with just telling Nell. It might be …’ He shrugged. ‘Helpful. That’s why I engineered this date for you. Did you like the way I did it? All subtle, like.’
‘I’ll tell her when the time’s right,’ Tom replied even though he’d said it a million times to both Kieran and himself. ‘It just never has been so far. Either I’ve been in a relationship, or she has. And I’m still not sure she could feel that way about me.’
The fact was, whenever Tom was with Nell he felt totally complete. That’s why his previous relationships had failed. He’d go into each new one feeling like they could be The One, giving all he had, but after a while a feeling of emptiness, or something being not quite right crept in. Whatever happened, and no matter how long it took, his heart inevitably came back to yearning for Nell. For her funny, in-her-own-world-half-the-time brain, a smile that lit up his life and a laugh he could listen to from now until the end of time.
The closest he’d come to getting away from his feelings for Nell was his last girlfriend, Naomi. They’d been together for three years, breaking up a couple of years ago. She’d said that it was because they wanted different things, but Tom knew it was because she was waiting for a ring and he could never quite bring himself to ask her. Every time he passed a jeweller, he’d look in the window, but he’d only ever see himself proposing to Nell. Despite serious attempts, the picture had never included anybody else. There was no one else like her. She’d always been just a little bit different – a woman of contradictions, both dreamy and focused – a little more caring, and she had her own style. That was why she and Cat had bonded so well. Both of them were different to all the other girls at university.
‘Anyway,’ he warned Kieran, knowing thoughts of Nell had taken over again, ‘stop doing weird things with your eyebrows in front of my staff. I know it’s the only hair you have left on your face, but still.’
‘Okay. Fair enough.’ Kieran watched Tom bustling around behind the counter, beginning to cash up. ‘You’re finishing early, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah, I want to swing by the care home and see Grandad. I said I’d take him a bunch of flowers for Enid.’
‘He’s a devil, your old grandad. Is she a looker?’
‘Enid?’ Tom laughed. ‘She’s 89! And Grandad’s blind as a bat anyway. She could look like Godzilla for all he knew. Actually, she’s a very lovely old lady and she really makes him laugh. There’s that saying, isn’t there? Love is blind? It’s the only reason Cat’s agreed to marry you.’
‘Oy!’ Kieran clapped his hands together. ‘Right, if you’re not coming to the pub, I’ll be off then. Cat’s got a planning meeting with Nell and her mum right about now, so I’ll be hearing all about it once she’s home.’
‘You love it really.’
‘Yeah. I do. Whatever makes her happy.’
With Kieran gone, Tom cashed up the till and closed the shop, locking the door firmly behind him. After waiting for the alarm to beep and show it was set, he turned and took a moment so his eyes could adjust to the darkness. It seemed to be taking longer and longer to get used to the dim evening light and a horrible niggling worry was growing inside his mind. The cold wind whipped around him, freezing his cheeks and running down his spine. Protecting the bunch of flowers Grandad had asked for, Tom pulled his coat tighter across his chest, hopping about on the spot as eventually everything came back into focus and he was able to make his way to the van.
The florist’s stood bang in the middle of Swallowtail Bay high street, next to a café and an artisan cheesemaker, and there was absolutely no parking nearby. He strolled down the cobbled streets enjoying the bright golden lights spilling from the shop windows. The town had quietened as the trading day drew to a close, and because it was winter.
Tourists flocked to the place in the summer bringing life and energy to the town. The high street would be full of visitors in backpacks, eating ice creams – but in winter, only the locals shopped, and a quietness settled on the high street from about mid-afternoon onwards.
Tom’s fingers were rapidly turning pink from the cold and he hurried on. Through the windows, fellow shopkeepers tidied and cleaned, readying for the next day. A few had already installed Christmas window displays and tinsel glittered while paper stars and giant snowflakes twirled in mid-air. Some had strung fairy lights around the edges, framing their windows in sparkling lights, while others had strings of them hanging down from the ceiling like icicles. Tom thought about his again. Once Remembrance Day was over, he’d start on one too. His grandad had lived through the Second World War and had been evacuated down to Swallowtail Bay, so Tom always made sure his shop had a full poppy display i
n honour of those who’d served, but he couldn’t wait to change his and any time inspiration struck he made a note on a piece of paper. Maybe tomorrow he’d sketch it out.
Overhead the council and business forum had already begun preparations for the town’s displays, and holders for small Christmas trees had been attached to some of the buildings. They were new for this year and in between the strings of giant lights that criss-crossed between the buildings it would look beautiful. With a nose red from cold, Tom was at his van and happy to be in the warm, he sped to the nursing home.
After he’d parked up again, he stepped out into the night and his breath fogged on the air. The stars were spectacularly clear tonight, bright and shining overhead, and the lack of cloud meant a frosty morning tomorrow. Cherry Wood Nursing Home was a large white building in pretty landscaped gardens. A couple of benches positioned out front next to large bushes invited people to sit and enjoy a moment before they entered. From the large windows he could see the residents moving back and forth, staff helping with walking frames, and people sharing jokes. Grabbing the bunch of creamy white ranunculuses tied with a big purple ribbon from the passenger seat, he made his way up the gentle slope of the entrance ramp.
The wave of heat that hit him as he walked through the door nearly knocked him over. In fact, all five of his senses were assaulted. As well as being hot, the home had the brightest lights he’d ever seen and smelled heavily of talcum powder mixed with lavender. The television was on so loud it was deafening and with his eyes being a bit weird at the moment, the last thing he needed was a ringing in his ears too.