by Katie Ginger
His parents had emigrated to Australia a decade ago and weren’t going to move back to look after either him or his grandad. The thought of Nigel being left without any visitors, sad and lonely, like some of the people in the care home, almost broke Tom’s heart. Seeing Janie’s happy face as she began to gather things together for her first job of the day pushed the gloomy thoughts down and he blamed needing a sugar boost.
‘Right, Janie, shall I make us a nice hot chocolate each? I’ve even stocked up on squirty cream and marshmallows and if you ask me, it’s the perfect way to start the day.’
‘You’re the best boss ever.’
Tom left his tools, headed out to the back of the shop and made them hot chocolates, even using their Christmas mugs. His had a picture of a snowman on it and Janie’s a llama in a scarf. After squirting as much cream on the top as he could manage without it being bigger than the cup itself and smattering the marshmallows all over the top, he took them out to where Janie was already working away. Tom returned to his own seat at the workbench to start the first wreath of the season. There were a lot of other things on the agenda for today. He also had three birthday bouquets to deliver, and some flowers for a big anniversary party, and he wanted to get the Christmas display planned for change over day next week. He always changed the window displays on a Wednesday when it was half-day opening. Though the number of shops only opening for half a day was dropping as new businesses moved into Swallowtail Bay.
The old place was regenerating before his eyes and the amount of walk-in trade was increasing year-on-year. He just wished it was the same for Nell and Holly Lodge. This whole video thing had caused him a sleepless night and he’d decided that when they met for a drink with Kieran and Cat at the hotel, he’d take his laptop, and hijack some of the wedding talk so they could research similar hotels and where they were advertising.
There was a whole day to get through first though. ‘Right, Janie, shall we get some music on and kick this day’s butt?’
‘Definitely,’ she replied with a giggle, already working on an order he hadn’t even asked her to start on.
And as he turned on the radio his favourite Christmas tune was playing, ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham, which was surely a good omen for the day ahead.
***
With aching feet, Tom climbed into his van to begin the afternoon’s deliveries. The morning had been pure madness. They’d had a number of people pop in to buy some loose flowers for vases at home and he’d taken a few more orders for gift bouquets. The shop had been filled with chatter from the moment they’d opened, so Tom was happy for the peace and quiet of the van.
The fresh air of the high street, crisp and clear, felt lovely after the heavy floral scent of the shop. Some of the stores like the chain coffee shops were already playing Christmas songs and were full of Christmas decorations. The smells of cinnamon hit him first and then savoury smells lingered too. The bakery was selling Christmas cakes and Christmas tree-shaped shortbread, decorated with bright green icing and he thought about grabbing himself and Janie one, but he was already running a little late. Some more of the smaller Christmas trees that were going on the sides of the buildings were up now, decorated with multicoloured lights. It wouldn’t be long before it was all finished and Swallowtail Bay would be ready for Christmas. Though so much quieter than summer, the bay at Christmas time was just as special with everyone coming together to enjoy the season. Carol singers or brass bands were in the high street every weekend giving a wonderful soundtrack to your Christmas shopping. Which reminded him, he had some presents to buy.
Finally at his van, he hunkered down in his thick winter coat and pulled the collar up to keep his neck warm. Tom switched the engine on and turned the heater up, taking a moment to appreciate how comfortable he was leaving the shop in Janie’s capable hands.
When he’d first taken on an apprentice, he’d anticipated doing a lot more teaching and training, but Janie had a knack. She’d learned the cash handling side of the business with ease and had come up with great ideas for new products and offers. Tom really felt he’d landed on his feet with Janie and planned to offer her a permanent job once her apprenticeship was over.
The frost of the morning had disappeared, and though the day was dry and clear with a soft-white sun shining down, it was bitter outside: a freezing stillness that turned cheeks pink and fingers blue. He pushed the clutch down but before he could put the car in gear his phone rang. Easing his foot back off, he fished in his coat pocket for his phone.
‘Hey, Kieran, what’s up, mate?’
‘Are you busy?’
‘I’m on deliveries. Why?’ The line went quiet. ‘Kieran? You still there?’
‘Yeah. Umm, listen, has Nell said anything to you about Cat?’
‘What about her?’ Tom asked a little hesitantly. At dinner the other night, Nell had mentioned about the wedding dress, but she’d been adamant that Cat wouldn’t want Kieran to know. He rested his free hand on the steering wheel, wondering what to say. Sometimes the four of them being friends could be a minefield.
‘I just wondered if she’d said anything about the wedding. She’s been really weird lately. Quiet and … I don’t know … just not my Cat.’
Tom could hear the frustration and worry in his friend’s voice. How could he ease his pain without giving anything away and betraying Nell’s trust? ‘Look, mate, it’s probably just some wedding jitters. I’ve got them about my best man speech. Maybe organising the wedding is proving a bit much with Brenda on her back. I don’t envy you your mother-in-law.’
There, that was a nice way of hinting that Brenda was getting a bit too involved. Tom felt secretly proud of himself.
Not normally one to open up with so little prompting, Tom was surprised when Kieran continued. ‘Yeah, I get the impression Brenda’s being a bit controlling. I’ve said I’ll talk to her, but Cat won’t let me. She doesn’t want a row. And I keep asking to be more involved in all the organising and stuff, but Cat says it’s her job to organise the wedding and she’ll give me things to do as and when she needs to. I just feel like I’m not pulling my weight with it, even though she won’t let me, and seeing her get so stressed out is hard, you know?’
Unfortunately, Tom didn’t know because as much as he’d love a wedding, kids and all that lot, he’d never found anyone who could replace Nell in his affections. It must be so hard for Kieran seeing the woman he loved, normally so vivacious and bubbly, not enjoying the preparations for the most wonderful day of their lives. Tom knew he had a duty to reassure his friend, and maybe he could drop some hints to Brenda. She might not listen, but it was worth a try. ‘I’m sure it’s just a temporary bit of stress that will go as Cat and Nell get things sorted. The more they tick off the list, the more chilled out she’ll get. I’m pretty sure it’s Battle-axe Brenda winding her up.’
‘Yeah, I suppose you’re right.’ Kieran sounded a little more cheerful, but reservation hung in the silence that followed. ‘Okay, I’d better get on, but if you hear anything, you will let me know, won’t you?’
‘Sure,’ Tom reassured him. ‘But I don’t really know what you think I’m going to hear.’ There was no way Cat would be thinking of calling off the wedding. Nell would have mentioned something like that, even with everything else she had going on. It also comforted him that Cat and Kieran never stopped smooching when they were together. Even though Tom wasn’t a relationship expert, he would have noticed if something had changed to wedding-cancelling degree, and as far as he could see, Cat was as in love with Kieran as ever, even if she was feeling the pressure of the wedding preparations.
‘Just let me know anyway, yeah?’ Kieran asked with the kind of sigh that took all the air from your body.
‘I promise. It’ll be all right, mate. Cat loves you and that hasn’t changed. It’s probably just her long hours and trying to organise everything so quickly.’
After hanging up, Tom was conscious that he was now running late. He loved the afterno
on delivery session – the peace and quiet of the car and the moments of surprise and excitement when he delivered unexpected flowers. Those smiles were one of the best bits of his job and driving through Swallowtail Bay was always a pleasure. So many of the streets were lined with trees and there were even some Victorian boulevards with big walkways in the middle. Those walkways were covered in the remaining red and gold leaves that hadn’t yet been blown away to wherever leaves go, and they looked beautiful. The car had warmed a little, but he was still cold and he shuddered, though he wasn’t sure if it was at the temperature or his conversation with Kieran.
The main road that ran the length of the town and parallel with the sea, linked Swallowtail Bay to the two nearest towns. Driving along with the blue-grey sea beside you and salty sea air filling your lungs was enough to refresh even the gloomiest of souls. On a day like today, cold but thankfully not windy, the sea would be calm and serene, making a nice change from the wild, high waves they’d had recently. The first bouquet was needed over on the other side of town and Tom pulled his seatbelt on and began on his way.
Exiting the main junction off the high street and onto the long road that ran parallel to the beach, Tom checked right at the roundabout before pulling out. After moving a few feet, the honking of a horn penetrated the song he was singing along with, alerting him that something was wrong, followed by a loud crunch at the side of the van.
‘Aargh!’ Tom’s body rocked to the left then shot back to the right, bashing into the van door as a scraping sound filled his ears. His seatbelt tightened at his neck, jolting him backwards into his seat. Instinctively, Tom’s hand grabbed the back of his head and he heard angry voices growing louder and louder as someone knocked at his window.
‘What the fuck are you doing?’ A large angry man, his face red with rage, knocked again.
‘I’m sorry – I—’ Tom opened his door a little and the man stepped back allowing him to get out. His legs were wobbly, and he held on to the roof as he looked around. A tightening in his throat made him think he might be sick, and in vain he tried to control the swirling in his stomach. The man’s people carrier had scraped the driver’s side of Tom’s van. His skin prickled as he realised he’d driven out too soon, causing the man to swerve away enabling them both to have a narrow escape. If he hadn’t, it could have been so much worse.
‘You just drove straight out of the junction. I’ve got kids in the car, mate – you didn’t even look.’
‘I did, I promise you. I looked both ways.’ He glanced over and saw a woman at the people carrier checking on two crying toddlers in the back. Tom felt his eyes sting as worry and guilt hit him like a tidal wave. ‘Are your kids okay? I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened. I did look and I didn’t see you – I just didn’t see you—’ Tom’s hand shot up and grabbed his hair as he tried to understand what had happened. The cries of the children calmed a little with gentle shushes from their mum, but Tom knew that the problems with his sight – problems that seemed to be growing more and more severe – could well be to blame for this. His peripheral vision was getting less and less clear, so it was entirely possible that even though he glanced left and right he simply hadn’t seen them. The whiplash in his muscles began to tighten through his back and neck. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I’ll pay for the damage to your car.’
The man seemed to soften a little with Tom’s clear concern for his children. ‘All right, mate. Thanks. The kids are okay, just a bit shaken up, like us. Are you all right? You look a bit white.’
His kindness was almost too much for Tom to bear when he could have really hurt them, albeit unintentionally. ‘I’ll be fine. I’m really just so sorry.’
The redness was disappearing from the man’s face as his anger abated, but cars were lining up behind them and the honking of car horns filled the air, for once drowning out the noise of the seagulls. The sea was calm today, and Tom wished his emotions were the same. Instead, they were more like the violent huge waves that had crashed onto the shore the last few days, dragging flotsam and jetsam with each one.
‘Come on,’ the man said, ‘let’s get over to the side and swap insurance details then we can both get on with our days, hey fella?’
Tom nodded. ‘And let me give you and your wife some money to treat those kids to something. They must have had the shock of their lives. I’m so sorry. So sorry.’
‘I appreciate it. Thanks.’ He headed off to his car while Tom climbed back into the van ready to move off the roundabout and out of the way of the traffic. As he did, he sniffed loudly, and angrily wiped at the solitary tear escaping from his useless fucking eyes.
Chapter 9
Sat in Holly Lodge that night, Tom listened to Nell talking excitedly about the wedding fair and eating some more mince pies which she always became slightly addicted to in winter and then completely forgot about for the rest of the year. While he was glad to hear her being more positive, and for the genuine excitement to have come back in her voice, he was having trouble concentrating after such a difficult day.
The tree they’d put together had been decorated with Nell’s favourite tiny wooden decorations that she’d been collecting since before they’d met. Between the glowing bright white Christmas lights, the small painted decorations twirled on little green strings and larger red and gold baubles dazzled with glitter. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was Christmas and that everything was fine. That it was him and Nell, sitting in Holly Lodge, snuggled under their favourite Christmas blankets (she liked the grey, Nordic-patterned one, he liked the one with reindeers on it) and watching the James Bond movie that was always on (his favourite was Roger Moore, hers Sean Connery). But every time he did close his eyes, he was unable to forget the sight of the woman comforting her terrified children. It had been imprinted on his brain and played out on the underside of his eyelids. Nell had put on some gentle Christmas songs and the music would normally have soothed him, but tonight nothing could penetrate the shroud of guilt he was wrapped in.
Nell’s voice filled his ears, but the words all mushed together like song lyrics he couldn’t quite make out. The accident earlier had played on his mind all day and he’d found that for hours afterwards his hands would shake, and he’d have to drop the scissors, secateurs or whatever it was he was holding. His body was trying to cope with the adrenalin pumping through his system and once it had he was hit with such a huge wave of tiredness he could have slept on the spot slumped over his workstation. The warmth of the fire in the large cast-iron grate permeated any remaining tension and for the first time that day, in the comfort of Holly Lodge, his whiplashed muscles relaxed. He’d replayed those few quick seconds over in his mind time and again just to check his own actions, and he’d definitely looked left and right before pulling out. The only conclusion he could come to was that he simply hadn’t seen that people carrier and that raised the question, why?
‘What do you think then, Tom?’ asked Nell, taking a bite of another mince pie. How many had she had? He looked at the plate and saw three empty silver wrappers. He wouldn’t put it past Nell to have eaten them all. He hoped Cat had eaten one because she was looking a bit worn out. Nell raised her eyebrows expectantly. Unsure what she was asking, he wondered whether to have a guess or just come clean about not hearing. He went with a guess.
‘I agree,’ he replied, hoping it was the right answer.
‘You agree?’
‘Yeeees?’ he replied hesitantly. As Nell’s expression changed, he knew he’d made the wrong call, evidenced by Cat and Kieran sniggering.
‘You agree that I should pack up the hotel, move to Sweden and start selling that weird, smelly tinned fish they eat over there?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Busted, mate,’ said Kieran. He and Cat were sat on the teal Chesterfield again and Cat was snuggled into his side, cradling a cushion. From her amused expression, he really was busted.
‘Weren’t you listening to anything I said?’ Nell’s eyes softened and her
voice was full of concern.
‘I was listening.’
She sat back with her tea. After taking a sip, she eyed him over the rim of her mug. ‘What did I say then?’
‘You said …’ He hesitated and glanced at Kieran hoping for a clue, but Kieran was enjoying watching him struggle.
‘Don’t look at me, mate. It’s normally me that gets caught out like that.’
‘Yeah, it is,’ Cat added, jokingly jabbing him in the ribs. ‘Normally about wedding stuff.’
‘I do not. I love hearing about wedding stuff but you’re not telling me anything now.’
Tom’s ears pricked up at the slight tension in Kieran’s voice, though his mate was trying to sound jovial. Cat responded with a one-shouldered shrug. Her other was nestled into Kieran’s side as they cuddled, so things couldn’t be that bad, could they?
‘It’s just boring, detailed stuff. Do you really care what colour napkins we have?’
‘No, but I want to hear you talk about it,’ Kieran said. ‘I want to know that you’re happy and help make decisions when you’re unsure.’
Cat pecked Kieran on the cheek. ‘That’s what I’ve got Nell for.’
Nell didn’t look entirely comfortable and when his eyes met hers, it was clear they were both thinking about the wedding dress issue. Tom thought about saying something, but Nell changed the subject. ‘So come on, Tom, what did I say?’
Lately she’d been preoccupied with the Langdon Mansion Hotel, so he plumped for that and the video of spider-soup. ‘You said you were worried about those gits up at the Langdon Mansion Hotel and—’
‘Thomas Barton, you weren’t listening at all.’ Nell cocked her head to study him, her eyes laden with worry. It made him feel guilty again and he’d had enough of that for today. ‘I didn’t say anything about the Langdon Mansion Hotel. I’m moving on from that horrifically embarrassing incident and thank you very much for reminding me of spider-soup. What I actually said was that St Herbert’s Primary School are holding their Welcome to Christmas carol service on the twenty-ninth of November at the hotel and I’m really excited about it. Even though it might turn out like Nativity which I class as a romcom by the way.’