by Katie Ginger
‘Hmm,’ Kieran agreed. ‘She seems very happy with your choice of caterer.’
Nell gave him a sideways glance. Was he blaming her for Cat’s behaviour? The resigned and heartbroken expression on his face killed any ire she might have felt at the remark. ‘Kieran, Cat loves you. I think all this …’ She cast her arm out as if trying to grab the right word from the air in front of them. ‘All this weirdness is because Brenda’s got her so stressed out with the wedding. And she told me today work’s been tough too.’
‘She didn’t tell me that.’ Kieran bristled, and surprisingly carried on talking. While Nell was glad he was opening up to her, he’d normally talk like this with Tom and she wondered why he wasn’t. ‘Why is she shutting down on me? She used to tell me everything. I’m not even sure she wants to get married anymore.’
‘Don’t say that, Kieran. It’s not true. She does want to marry you. She texted me the other day about changing the colour of the party favours. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t want to marry you, would she? She wouldn’t care what colour they were if she wasn’t planning to go through with it.’
As Niall disappeared back to the kitchen, Cat came over. ‘What’s up, honey?’
‘Nothing,’ Kieran mumbled. The strain was clear on his face and after a big swig of his beer, he walked out into the conservatory and on into the garden. They watched him go, Nell consumed with guilt that she hadn’t been able to reassure him more.
‘What’s up with him?’ Cat asked. ‘Grumpy git.’ Nell turned and from Cat’s reaction, her surprise clearly showed on her face. ‘What?’
‘Cat, don’t you see Kieran’s worried that you’re flirting with Niall or that he’s flirting with you and it’s upset him.’
Cat’s eyes widened in surprise then narrowed accusingly. ‘Did you tell him about that first time I was a bit … over the top because you said you wouldn’t. You did, didn’t you? How could you, Nell?’
‘Of course I didn’t tell him. And I’m sure you didn’t mean anything just now, with Niall it looked—’
‘What?’
Nell tried to keep everything under control. ‘I think to Kieran it looked a bit off. And because you’ve been changing your mind about wedding stuff and not talking to him, he’s worried you don’t want to marry him.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. I am allowed to change my mind about things. Honestly, between you, Kieran and my mum, I wish I wasn’t getting married.’
‘If Brenda’s still being difficult, let us help you talk to her and sort it out. You don’t have to do everything on your own, Cat.’
‘I don’t want to do this now, Nell. This is a party and I’d really like to enjoy myself for once.’ Cat stalked off into the throng of people and disco lights and Nell lost her in the crowd. Feeling the heat of the exchange in her cheeks she went into the garden to cool down.
The night had started off so well and now it was falling apart. This morning with Cat had felt like old times. Nell knew this short-tempered, changeable version wasn’t the real one but the real one was getting buried deeper and deeper and if that continued, she’d ruin her whole life. Nell took a moment to stare at the dark, starry night. A thick cloud passed over the brightest star and Nell wrapped her arms around her to keep warm in the still, cold air. The lights strung around the garden made her feel slightly warmer as her affection for the place replaced some of her worries. From the corner of her eye she saw Tom sitting in the conservatory, his head dipped, toying with his beer bottle. Seeing her chance, and needing to rest her feet, she went and sat next to him.
Being close to him filled every one of her nerves with anticipation and a longing to reach out and touch him. ‘Hey, you,’ Nell said, gently leaning into his shoulder. ‘Are you okay?’
Tom’s eyes searched her face and from their lacklustre appearance she could tell that something was wrong. ‘I’m fine,’ he replied with a shrug and began to peel the label from his beer.
Hoping that his anxiety came from thinking her feelings weren’t returned, Nell decided to speak. Willing her heart to stop beating so fast, she absorbed the magic from the Christmas music, the twinkling fairy lights and winter moon shining down on them. ‘Listen, Tom, I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Oh?’ His shoulders stiffened.
‘It’s not bad. At least I don’t think so.’ She gave a nervous laugh, but Tom didn’t look like he wanted to hear anything. He wasn’t looking at her so much tonight and she missed it, but maybe her news would change that. ‘So, Kieran told me that—’
‘Listen, Nell. I don’t mean to be rude but if Kieran’s been moaning about Cat and Cat’s been moaning about Kieran, I just can’t get involved in it right now. Okay? They …’ Nell shook her head trying desperately to get the words out, but he hadn’t stopped talking. ‘They’re old enough to sort things out for themselves and I’ve got enough on my plate. So just leave them to it, all right? You can’t solve this one for them. It’s not a movie, it’s real life.’ And with that, he walked away.
Nell remained where she was, wrapped in a thin, hollow silence. Had he known what she was going to say and decided he didn’t feel that way about her after all? Was that why he’d given that out-of-character monologue then stalked off inside? Nell felt tears sting her eyes and a few escaped down her cheeks. She wiped them away and tried to stop her lip from wobbling. Arnold, the mayor’s husband, stumbled out into the conservatory completely sloshed. His teeth had turned almost black, stained from the decadent red wine punch and there was a purplish line around his lips. It was a good job they didn’t have any live flames because if he’d neared one, he’d have gone off like a rocket. ‘Nell Jones. Nelly puddles. Nelly the elephant.’
‘Oh, geez.’ Nell rolled her eyes. If he started singing the song, no jury would convict her for her actions. Arnold swayed towards her, attempting some kind of samba, throwing himself too far one way then the other. His glass of punch sploshed onto his shirt leaving a horrid red stain like a gunshot wound.
‘This is the best shindig we’ve ever been to. Lovely atmosphere. Lovely food. Good booze.’ He raised his now empty glass and looked at it in confusion, clearly unaware of how it had become empty.
‘I’m very glad you’re enjoying it, Arnold. Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas to you too, Nelly the elephant.’ He lurched forward to give her a kiss on the cheek but the vision of his black teeth and purple lips lunging towards her were too terrifying for words.
‘Oh, baby Jesus,’ she cried, dodging sideways and shooting to standing. Luckily, Harry was close by.
‘Nell, I’ve been looking for you. You owe me a dance, best hostess in the world.’
She’d never been so happy to see the handsome American and not because she’d kind of fancied him before the Tom epiphany. Taking her hand, he led her to the dance floor. She glanced around but couldn’t see Tom, Cat or Kieran anywhere. Tom was so tall she normally spotted him in an instant. He must have left without saying goodbye and as she imagined Kieran and Cat leaving in a row, her heart sank within her chest.
‘So, I can’t believe tomorrow’s our last night together and I’ll be heading back to the States.’
He held her in a strong embrace as they slid to and fro, but it felt alien. ‘You must be looking forward to going home.’
‘I am. But there is one thing I’ll miss.’
‘Oh, and what’s that? Don’t tell me it’s our fine British weather?’
He gave a loud barking laugh that drew the attention of the people near them. ‘No, it’s not. It’s the prettiest, most brilliant hostess a guy could hope for.’ Before Nell knew what was happening, he had spun her out, twirled her back in and dipped her in a first-class ballroom dancing move. His head moved closer, smile wide, perfect teeth in full view. Big red flashing sirens were going off in her head. No, no, no, no, no! She pulled away, shell-shocked and unsure what to say. She didn’t want him to kiss her. She wanted Tom to kiss her.
Fr
om the corner of her eye she saw Tom staring at her in disbelief. He hadn’t left. He hadn’t gone without saying goodbye. But now he did, stalking off without saying a word.
‘What’s wrong?’ Harry asked, pulling her up.
‘Harry, I’m sorry.’ Nell pulled herself free and left him on the dance floor to chase after Tom, but by the time she made it to the front door he’d gone.
In the street in front of Holly Lodge, the chill wind wrapped around her, penetrating the thin material of her dress and she felt icy cold through to her bones. Even the blood running through her veins was like a frost on her skin. Just the other side of the road the sea washed onto the pebbled beach, hitting the rocks and pulling them under. The tears that fell stung her face, burning her cheeks with embarrassment that Harry had done that, and frustration that Tom hadn’t given her the chance to tell him how she felt. Everything was a mess. Tonight had been a horrible mixture of the business finally making headway while the rest of her life fell apart. Why? Why did life always have to be like that? If her feet hadn’t hurt so much, she would have stamped them in a temper.
‘Want to tell me what all that was about?’ The American accent told her immediately who it was.
‘Harry, listen.’
Urgh, this was awkward. Why did Harry have to tell her how he felt tonight? Of all the nights he’d stayed, why now? And how to reject him kindly? She hadn’t turned yet, worried that he was right behind her and if she did, they might be so close that he tried to kiss her. Ironically, after wanting to picture herself with Tom and being unable to, she could see every moment of this scene playing out. Nell gave herself a mental shake knowing she was making up romantic scenarios again. Well, she wasn’t doing that anymore. All the times she’d imagined him whisking her off to New York, leaving all the problems behind, but now she knew Tom had feelings for her, or at least had before tonight, her heart wasn’t excited at the prospect. She braced herself for a difficult conversation and turned to face Harry. ‘You’re such a nice guy, Harry, and I’m sorry if I’ve led you on—’
‘Wait. Wow. No—’
‘No?’
‘No.’ He held up his hands like this was the last thing he expected her to say and a burning embarrassment crept up her spine. ‘Did you think that I – I mean we – us—’ Harry waved his hand between the two of them.
‘Well – umm …’
Oh, dear. Yes, she had thought that. She’d thought that and a whole lot more besides including soapy bath scenes and other intimate scenarios during the quieter moments in the day. She wondered if he could read the thoughts in her mind because he was staring at her in mounting concern and she was sure her skin was going to burn off she was so hot. Even her ears were hot and she thought that only happened to dogs.
‘Nell, I’m sorry but …’ He scratched the back of his neck his cheeks turning pink in the lamplight. As well as humiliating herself, she’d embarrassed him too.
In all her life, Nell had never actually been slapped, but this was how she imagined it to feel and her cheeks stung as their burning heat met with the cold Christmas air. After staring at Harry’s horrified face, she realised the pain was nothing more than a shocking level of embarrassment. ‘So, you didn’t mean that—’
‘No!’ He said it so quickly it was almost insulting.
‘Oh.’
Thankful that he wasn’t going to kiss her, but still cringing for thinking he’d want to when he so clearly didn’t, Nell stared at the ground. It was another freezing night and the pavement glittered beneath her feet. She tapped her fingertip against the holly hedge trying to feel something other than shame. Yet again, she’d lived in her imagination rather than in reality, seeing things that weren’t there, creating feelings that didn’t really exist for either of them. At least now she could explain to Tom that what he’d seen was nothing more than a kind, caring man trying to make Nell smile, not a swoon-worthy dance move, designed to sweep her into bed. It was no wonder he thought that after the way she’d gone on about Harry. She rolled her eyes, even more annoyed with herself.
‘Nell, I’m so sorry you thought …’ He gave a helpless shrug. ‘You’re great, but you’re just not my type.’
Would this feeling ever go away? Nell wondered. The awkwardness was seeping into her blood and bones. She wanted to run inside and hide under her duvet with Mr Scrooge but as a grown-up she wasn’t allowed to do that sort of thing. Now she looked like some manic woman who just assumed all men fancied her and wanted to jump into her bed. ‘It’s fine.’
‘I mean, you’re lovely and sweet and kind but—’
‘Still fine,’ she said as her mind took her back to the Thanksgiving dinner she’d prepared for him. Another wave of humiliation hit her like the waves hitting the beach and panicked by its ferocity she added, ‘I just get a bit caught up in my own world sometimes.’
Why had she said that? Now she sounded even more of a psychopath. Going around making things up in her head. He’d call the police if she said anything else like that.
‘Yeah. I realised that pretty much as soon as I met you. But if I did come on to you, I think your friend Tom would have something to say about it.’
‘So, you noticed too?’
Harry nodded. ‘I think you’re about the only person who hadn’t, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. Even if I had, I’m not sure you’d have believed me. I’m sorry if he got the wrong idea tonight, I was only trying to save you from that other guy. But Nell,’ he took her hands gently in his, ‘you are definitely the best hostess a guy could ever ask for.’
‘After the night I’ve had, I’ll definitely take that compliment.’ She laughed at the ridiculousness of the evening and scratched her forehead, still prickling with the indignity of it all.
‘There is something special about you. A spark. A passion. I saw it when you talked about your hotel. Don’t ever let that go out, okay?’
‘Okay,’ she agreed but it felt very much like any spark was about to be blown out by the breeze building around Holly Lodge.
‘Come on, best hostess in the world, you should go and finish this party.’
He let her go first, and they stepped back inside through the high, black metal gate that led the way to her gorgeous little hotel, but she couldn’t help glancing behind her just in case Tom had come back. Her heart sank when no one appeared through the darkness and the chances of him doing so now were slim to none. Despite the pain in her feet and the ache in her heart she trudged back inside and prayed the rest of the night would pass drama-free. Thankfully, there were only a couple of hours to go.
Chapter 21
The ringing of Nell’s phone woke her up early Sunday morning. Knowing that she’d be up till the small hours cleaning and putting the lounge and dining room back together, she’d arranged the luxury of a lie-in with Mrs Meggett. The decorations had been left in place – she wasn’t Wonder Woman and couldn’t clear it all single-handedly – and besides, it added to the Christmassy feel. By the time she’d fallen into bed at about three in the morning she’d been tired through to her bones, yet sleep hadn’t come easily. The look on Tom’s face when Harry had danced with her haunted her every time she closed her eyes. If only she’d been able to tell him how she felt.
In the cold light of day, she doubted she’d find the courage again and from last night’s exchange there was every possibility he’d changed his mind, or maybe Kieran had got the wrong end of the stick. With a sigh, she scrambled around for her phone. The only good thing about winter was that the darkness lasted longer in the mornings so she hadn’t been disturbed by sunshine or the seagulls cawing, but now, a pale light crept in through her curtains and the smell of bacon wafted in from the kitchen, waking her up a little more quickly.
Frowning at her phone in confusion, and with a pang of worry she saw it was Cat. Swiping to answer, Nell edged up onto her elbow and Mr Scrooge, who was curled at her feet, woke and stretched.
‘Nell?’ Cat sobbed. All she could hear was sn
iffing, crying, and breath gulped hysterically.
‘Cat? What is it?’ Dread settled in her stomach. Please don’t let it be what she feared most. Please don’t let her and Kieran have split up and the wedding be off. More sobbing followed her question and then out of nowhere there was a gigantic wail. Nell moved the phone back from her ear for a second as the shrill sound reverberated off her half-asleep eardrum. ‘Cat, honey, calm down. You need to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s happening.’
‘Can you meet me in town?’
Nell swept her legs round and out of bed. ‘Sure. When?’
‘Ten minutes?’
Ten minutes! She didn’t even have clean pants on, but if her friend needed her, then she would be there, even if she went in pyjamas or without pants. ‘Okay. Where?’
‘Can we meet at Raina’s? I’m nearly there now.’
Thank heaven Swallowtail Bay had caught up with the rest of the world and the shops had started opening on Sundays. ‘Sure, I’ll see you there in ten minutes.’
‘Thank you, Nell.’ Cat sniffed again. ‘I love you.’
Nell’s trepidation surged again. Cat very rarely got this upset and for her to say ‘I love you’ after their exchange last night alarmed her, sending goose bumps over her skin. ‘Love you too, honey. I’ll be there in a few minutes.’
Nell jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes and made her way to the back entrance of her flat. That way she could avoid the kitchen and Mrs Meggett. As much as she’d adore one of Mrs Meggett’s amazing breakfasts right about now, she loved a chat and Nell wasn’t very good at escaping them. She’d get waylaid and right now Cat was her one and only priority.
Climbing into her car, Nell’s phone went once more but this time with a number she didn’t recognise. ‘Hello?’
‘Hi, is that Nell Jones?’ The voice was male.
‘It is. Can I help you?’
‘I saw your posters about the black cat. Ours went missing about a month ago and we’ve been looking everywhere for him. We live the other side of the bay. Is it okay if I come this afternoon to see if he’s ours?’