Right now, I couldn’t even feel mine beating.
Chapter Thirteen
The Great Escape
A Week Later – Friday
‘HERE YOU GO.’ ABBIE offered me a glass of cold wine, condensation still trickling down the sides of it, as I sat on the deck at the front of my parents’ cottage and stared out over the beach towards the sea.
A week here hadn’t healed me, but it had gone a long way towards giving me perspective. Sleeping with the sound of the ocean breaking on the shore, seagulls waking me up early in the morning, brisk jogs along the beach in the sun, and time spent idling in Dolphin Bay had done me the world of good. Tasting freshly-made ice cream and picking up supplies from the local farm shop and delicatessen to prepare some tasty home-cooked meals had also helped lift my spirits. Of course, Abbie had too. That girl never failed to make me laugh when I needed it. She’d handled all of the calls to rearrange my clients, giving me another week up here if I needed it. And while I knew she needed to get back, I had to admit that I did need that extra time.
‘Thanks,’ I smiled as I took the glass from her. She lowered herself onto the cushioned bench next to me, a bottle of water in her hand. ‘Bet you wish you had one of these right now,’ I said as I tapped her bottle with my glass.
‘You have no idea,’ she groaned, twisting off the plastic bottle top. ‘And I wish I could stay longer, I’d forgotten how peaceful it is here. It’s good for the soul.’
‘It is,’ I agreed.
The cottage was out on the edge of the small town, with no immediate neighbours. A walk along the beach to the left took you around the edge of the bay onto the long coastline of Wales that faced Ireland and the east coast of America. Taking a right meant we could walk into the town, which sat in a horseshoe around the central harbour. Over on the other side of the harbour, to the right of the lifeboat station, were a row of brightly coloured beach huts, one of which was owned by my parents. It was great to have it there when we wanted to be in the thick of things. Abbie and I had spent a few afternoons there, sitting in our deckchairs with a non-alcoholic fruit punch and ice-lollies as we talked and watched the world go by.
The bay itself was set into a dip in the hills, which were covered with an undulating patchwork of fields, all owned by the Owens family. It was bordered by a thick tree line that sheltered the bay from the unsuspecting traffic of the main road up in the distance. It had been a deliberate ploy by the Dolphiners, as the locals liked to call themselves, not to make the bay’s presence obvious. There was nothing worse than a small community being invaded by loads of tourists every summer. I was accepted here as a virtual local, as this cottage had been owned by my grandfather, who used to be a trawlerman when fishing was the main industry of the town. By all accounts, he hadn’t been impressed when Dad left home to go and seek his fortunes elsewhere.
We sat side by side drinking as we just admired the view, the sun casting its rays of light onto the gently moving water.
‘Thanks, Abbie, for knowing I needed this.’
‘I’m a great friend, aren’t I?’
‘You are,’ I laughed, shoulder bumping her.
‘Just promise me you’ll always remember that, even when you’re mad at me.’
‘Why would I be mad at you?’ I asked, tearing my gaze off the water to eye her curiously.
‘No reason I can think of, unless of course you count the fact that I finished the cookies that were supposed to last you into next week.’
‘Abbie Davis!’ I scolded. She grinned at me and set her empty bottle down, then held out her arms.
‘Come on, lever me up. You can come with me to make sure I take the right lane out of the town, then you can walk back along the beach.’
‘There’s only one way out, up that valley,’ I pointed as I stood up.
‘That’s what you think. I’m telling you, I tried getting home once and ended up God knows where. It took me forever to find my way home. Come on, I’d like to get back before it gets dark,’ she said, waggling her outstretched hands at me. I grabbed them and pulled her up, staggering backwards as she stumbled forward.
‘Steady, Miller will kill me if you fall over.’
‘I’m like a ball. I don’t fall, I just roll.’
‘Ok, I packed the car already, did you check you have everything?’ I asked, feeling emotional at the thought of her leaving.
‘I didn’t bring much, and if I’ve forgotten anything, you can bring it home with you next Sunday.’
I nodded and locked the cottage door, then held her hand as we took the steps up the side of the cottage to the small parking area set further up the hill behind us, Abbie panting every step of the way.
‘You know you need to get back together with Weston, I was banking on him being my personal trainer and whipping me back into shape once I’ve popped this sprog out.’
‘Miller’s not enough of a gym buff to help you?’ I scoffed as we got into her car.
‘He’s too busy with work, and don’t tell him I told you, but he’s deflated down to a four pack. Before we know it, he’ll have a stomach my size.’
‘But you’ll still love him, right?’ I asked as she started her engine.
‘Well, duh, of course. I promised not to leave him the day we got engaged and you don’t go back on a promise.’
‘I did,’ I said quietly, the guilt eating away at me as Abbie crawled along the single-track lane.
‘You ran. He did something he shouldn’t have done and because of your history with lies, you ran. Until you tell him it’s over, that’s not leaving, Georgie. That’s taking a time out. Are you saying that you’ve made the decision, that you’re going to tell him that you’ve broken your promise then?’
‘I’m not sure what I’m going to tell him. That’s the reason for another week of deep consideration all on my own.’
‘You saved your new mobile number in my phone, right?’
‘Yes, but I also put the cottage landline in if you need me, as the mobile signal here isn’t great.’
‘The cottage has a landline?’ she spluttered, as she took her eyes off the road to give me a shocked look.
‘Yes,’ I said slowly, sure I’d mentioned that when she kept going out to speak to Miller outside. I’d assumed she just wanted privacy. ‘Broadband too.’
‘Next you’ll be telling me it’s hooked up to the TV and I could have been watching my favourite shows instead of playing board games by the fire.’
‘What’s wrong with board games? We had fun.’
‘Next time, I call shotgun on watching TV,’ she grizzled, making me giggle. I guided her into the town and along the harbour road, then she turned right at the corner of the best fish and chip shop in all of Wales and pulled over onto the parking bays at the side of The Green Dragon pub. ‘So, keep in touch, won’t you?’
‘Are you crying?’ I asked as she held out her arms for a last hug. ‘I’m not going off backpacking for months on end. It’s a week on my own, an hour from home.’
‘I’m emotional. I’m leaving my best friend, I’m pregnant, and I need more sugar. Don’t upset me by not giving me a hug and not staying in contact.’
‘I’d never refuse Abbie hugs,’ I stated sincerely, leaning over to return it. ‘They’ve got me through some tough times, especially this week.’
‘They’ll always be here for you, through the good and the bad,’ she sniffed.
‘Likewise. Come on, I don’t want you to start blubbering or I won’t be happy letting you drive off. Are you sure Miller won’t mind picking me up next Sunday?’
‘I’ll bribe him with sex.’
I laughed and we exchanged another hug and kiss before I waved her off. I wrapped my arms around myself and quickly wiped a tear from my eye as I waited until she’d disappeared from view. I patted my pockets and grinned when I felt some loose change, which meant I could stop at the chip shop to order a portion. The smell was making my mouth water.
‘Eating in, Ge
orgie?’ asked Bill.
‘No, I’m going to walk home and eat them on the deck with a glass of wine as I watch the sun set.’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ he nodded. ‘Salt and vinegar?’
‘Both please, heavy on the salt.’
He wrapped them up tightly in newspaper, then handed them over. ‘Don’t be a stranger, it’s been too long since we saw you up here.’
‘It really has been too long,’ I agreed. I’d forgotten how much I loved it up here. It was just the mortification of bumping into Dai Owens again that had put me off coming back. ‘See you soon, Bill.’
I skipped out and headed across the road to walk along the harbour wall path, returning the friendly greetings of everyone who knew me as I went. Within five minutes, I was down on the soft powdery sand, breathing in the fresh salty air as I followed the edge of the bay back to the cottage. With the remains of the day’s sun on my face, a gentle breeze lifting and dropping my loose hair, I almost felt like I was as free as those seagulls squawking up above me. I pulled off my flip-flops and put them in one hand, my chip package tucked under my arm, and put my head down to check where I was walking. It wasn’t uncommon to find the odd bit of jagged glass sticking up out of the sand. In fact, I had a scar on the sole of my foot from where I’d cut it open on some when I was little. An excited bark up ahead forced me to look back up, shielding my eyes from the glare of the sun.
‘Bertie?’ My stomach rolled with a mixture of emotions as I saw a small grey blur moving towards me at speed. I squinted over at the cottage and sighed to see Weston sitting on the wooden steps that led up to the deck, his feet on the sand as he watched me approaching. ‘No, Abbie, what did you do?’ I moaned, the reason for her “promise not to get mad at me” request becoming all too clear.
‘Baby boy, what are you doing here?’ I asked Bertie as I crouched and set my flip-flops and chips down. I caught him in my arms and couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiastic greeting of me, like he’d missed me as much as I had him. I kissed him repeatedly, then let out a heavy sigh as I knew the conversation I’d been dreading next week was now inevitable. ‘So, he brought you with him thinking he could butter me up again, right?’
Bertie cocked his head and let out a whine as he gave me his perfected “love me” puppy dog eyes. I’d assumed that my anger with Weston would have hardened my heart forever, but I felt it soften as Bertie and I gazed at each other.
‘Don’t you dare teach that look to your uncle, as I’m not ready to forgive him. I’m not sure if I even want to forgive him, and a look like that from his beautiful blue eyes would make me cave.’
Bertie grunted and nuzzled my breast with his wet nose, making me shake my head. I licked my dry lips as I snuck a quick glance over to the cottage, to see Weston hadn’t moved. He was just watching me, waiting for me. Did he feel as anxious and nervous as I did at the thought of seeing him again? My mind raced with all of the arguments I’d had with myself, and Abbie, this last week. I was devastated that despite knowing lies were my one deal breaker, he’d done just that. But it didn’t take away from the fact that I was still deeply in love with him, and that I was just as sure that he was in love with me. Technically, while he had lied, they weren’t over something that was completely unforgivable, unlike Greg cheating on me. But did I risk letting him believe that he could get away with lying to me again? Potentially an even worse lie?
‘Come on then. As he’s blocking my one and only entrance to the cottage and I don’t fancy spending the night out here in the dark, we’d better face the music,’ I told Bertie as I tucked him under one arm and managed to scoop up my chips and flip-flops.
I began a painfully slow walk back to the cottage, trying to look anywhere but at him, but my eyes were too curious, too eager to see his face again. A face that was etched into my memories forever, no matter what happened between us. Our gaze locked, a frisson of awareness of how badly I was attracted to him running down my spine. He quickly stood up and ran his hands through his hair. He looked awful. I mean, he was still handsome, he’d always be the most handsome man I’d ever seen, but he obviously hadn’t shaved all week as he was sporting a scruffy beard and was bearing deep, dark circles under his eyes.
‘Georgie,’ he breathed, my name sounding like a plea as it left his lips.
‘What are you doing here, Weston?’
‘I came for you.’
‘Then you had a wasted journey, as you’ll be leaving right now without me,’ I said, as coldly as I possibly could. However, inside my body was reawakening, heat spreading through my veins as fast as the sun was setting behind me. I set my chips and flip-flops down on the top step, kissed Bertie, and pushed him back at Weston. He quickly grabbed him and held him tightly, despite Bertie’s whines. ‘Just because you wooed me once with a fake puppy doesn’t mean it will work again.’
‘He’s not fake. Nothing about our relationship was fake, Georgie. I just made a stupid decision on the spur of the moment.’
‘A stupid decision is seeing a “No Entry” sign, ignoring it, and carrying on driving. You lied to me, and not just about Bertie, a dog who doesn’t even exist.’ I tried to keep my voice calm and level, when in reality I wanted to yell at him, slap or punch him, or quite possibly bury him in the sand and leave him there for the carnivorous seagulls to pick over his sun-scorched bones. Crikey, I’d been reading way too much of Charlie’s work, her prose was rubbing off on me.
‘He does exist. He may be Bouncer when he’s with my brother, but with us, he was, he is, Bertie.’ He clipped the leash in his hand to Bertie’s collar, set him down, and put the loop of the lead over the carved finial of the bannister that bordered most of the deck, then glanced up at me as he pointed to him. ‘Look at him. He’s still the dog you loved, the dog I nearly died trying to save. He’s as much a part of our relationship as you or me.’
‘Except we no longer have a relationship, Weston. That’s what happens when it’s founded on lies.’
‘I screwed up, I admit it,’ he stated earnestly as he threw his arms out wide. ‘You made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want any complications in a relationship. If I’d been honest and said I was a five-hour drive away, you’d have written me off, Georgie. You said you wanted easy, I tried to make it easy.’
‘By lying to me?’ I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice as I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. I thought I’d cried all the tears humanly possible this last week. Where did they come from?
‘I can’t take it back, Georgie. I tried so many times to tell you, but each time I did, there was something that took your attention away and ruined the moment.’
‘So now it’s my fault? You’re telling me that in a thirteen-month relationship, I ruined every single opportunity for you to say “Hey, Georgie, I lied to you. This dog doesn’t belong to me and I actually live on the other side of the country.” See, that took me all of ten seconds to say.’
‘I never said it was your fault,’ he groaned as he scruffed up his hair and blew out a hard breath. I turned and faced the sea, watching it pull the sun down into its depths. I couldn’t keep my nerve while I was looking at his tired and defeated blue eyes, or those strong and sexy biceps of his, bared by his t-shirt, flexing every time he moved. ‘I was wrong. I lied about where I live, but not who I am, or what I do, or what you mean to me. I pretended Bertie was mine as I knew you’d fall in love with him and I hoped that would help you fall in love with me. And there’s one final lie I’m going to admit to telling, and though my promises might not hold much weight with you right now, it’s the last one that I told you.’
‘I don’t know if I can handle hearing that I was so stupid to believe yet something else, Weston,’ I whispered, giving myself a hug as I sniffed back some tears.
‘I never thought you were stupid. That title belongs solely to me. This lie won’t hurt you, Georgie. I said it to protect you, because I knew at that moment if I was honest with you, you’d have got up and run from me.�
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‘Weston, stop, please,’ I pleaded, closing my eyes and wishing I could close my ears as his velvety voice stimulated them, reminding me of all the lovely things he’d whispered to me at night while we were wrapped so tightly around each other, or those moments we just lay in each other’s arms in the morning.
‘I told you that I hadn’t fallen in love with you when I took you to lunch at The Mytton. That was the biggest of the three lies I told you, because the moment I heard you talking to yourself in the car, giving yourself a pep talk, was the moment I knew I wasn’t going to fall in love with you. I knew that I’d already fallen.’
‘Weston, stop,’ I moaned, my chest rattling as I willed the tears not to fall.
‘I fell so hard and so fast, Georgie, and it scared me. I didn’t expect to find myself needing you as much as I did in such a short space of time. I tried to hold back how I really felt, to not put any pressure on you. That day Abbie was ill in bed and we sat with her, she mentioned love. I saw your reaction, so I had to force myself to react the same way and disappeared to give you space in case you panicked and ended things. I was in love with you then. I’m still in love with you. I always will be, I don’t have any other choice, Georgie. You’re it, you’re the one that comes along once in a lifetime and I don’t want to lose you. I need to know what it will take for you to forgive me. This last week without you, imagining how you must be feeling, was hell.’
‘You can’t imagine, it was worse than hell,’ I choked. I hissed and pulled away when he reached out with his fingers to skim my cheek. ‘Don’t touch me.’
‘You said you didn’t want secrets, Georgie, and I’ve kept them, but I won’t anymore, not if it means you’ll leave me. You want to know what I’ve kept buried inside, what makes me break out into a cold sweat, what can set off panic attacks or make me wake up in strange places with no idea how I got there?’ he asked, his voice cracking with the effort of vocalising what he saw as his greatest weakness.
The Great Escape Page 23