I pulled away and faced him. “I do. I need to know how you feel about her. You grew up with her too. You played with her. You went to school with her. You married her, and she left you for another man. Are you still in love with her?”
He put his face in his hands and for a moment I thought he was crying.
My heart clenched into a cold, hard knot.
He lifted his head and I realized he was laughing.
“It’s not funny,” I said.
He sobered. “No, it’s not funny. It’s sad. I’m not proud of myself.”
His words were not what I wanted to hear.
I started to rise. “I get it.”
He took my arm and restrained me from leaving. “No, you don’t. I never wanted to admit this, especially not to you. But I will. Please sit down. You need to hear this.” He sighed. “And I guess I need to say it.”
I pulled my arm free. Suddenly I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. “You don’t need to say it. I don’t need to hear it.”
“Yes, you do. I let Kathleen stay in my apartment and put up with a lot from her because I felt guilty.”
“Guilty of what? Being with me?”
“No. Guilty of being a lousy husband. I married her because she told me she was pregnant. She wasn’t, but by the time I figured that out, we were married. I didn’t love her. Maybe if I’d loved her…but I didn’t. And then she told me she was in love with Jeff and wanted a divorce.”
“And you didn’t want somebody else to have her?” I guessed.
He laughed again, a dead, hollow sound. “I was so relieved to be rid of her, I didn’t try to salvage our marriage, and I didn’t warn Jeff about her. Then when I thought she killed him—”
I sat upright and glared at him. “You thought she killed him? No, I thought she killed him. You wouldn’t listen to me!”
“I did listen. I was in a bad spot. She was my ex-wife. I desperately wanted to find proof that she killed Jeff, and that meant I shouldn’t be involved in the case. I needed to step back and let Lawson handle it. That was hard, and then I had to worry about you provoking her and becoming a victim too. Keeping you from getting in the middle of things was even harder. You are probably the most stubborn person I’ve ever known.”
“Not probably. Definitely. And you’d do well not to forget it.”
“I won’t forget that if you swear you will never forget how much I love you. Just you. Only you. After that debacle of a marriage with Kathy, I never expected to have a normal relationship. I never expected to be in love.”
I fell into his lap and pressed my lips to his. He was right. I had needed to hear what he had to say.
THE END
(Keep reading for some of Lindsay’s favorite recipes!)
RECIPES
Chocolate Caramel Shortbread
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9x9 inch pan and dust with flour.
Shortbread:
1 1/4 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
2/3 cup butter, room temperature
Combine flour and sugar. Cut in butter until it forms a crumb mixture. Press into pan and bake for 20 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool.
Caramel:
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk
2 Tbsp. corn syrup
Melt butter. Stir in brown sugar, corn syrup, and sweetened condensed milk. Bring to a boil and cook for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir an additional 2 minutes or until it starts to thicken. Pour over cooled shortbread bars. Allow to cool.
Chocolate topping:
2 cups chocolate chips
1 tsp. oil
Heat chocolate chips and oil in microwave in 15 second intervals until chocolate is melted. Pour over caramel layer and allow to set. Once chocolate has hardened, cut into squares with a warm knife.
Chocolate Bundt Cake with Cream Cheese Filling
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a Bundt pan and dust with cocoa.
Filling:
8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1 Tbsp. flour
Beat cream cheese and sugar until well combined. Add egg, vanilla, and flour and beat again. Set aside.
Cake:
3/4 cup cocoa
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup hot water
1-3/4 cups flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sour cream, room temperature
3/4 cup (1-1/2 sticks) butter, room temperature
2 cups dark brown sugar
1 Tbsp. vanilla
5 eggs, room temperature
Heat water in microwave for one minute. Pour over chocolate chips and cover. Let stand 5 minutes.
Stir together flour, cocoa, salt, and baking soda. Mix well with a fork, getting out all lumps and insuring mixture is smooth and a consistent color.
Whisk chocolate chips mixture until smooth. Let cool to room temperature. Whisk in sour cream.
Beat butter, brown sugar, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time. Gradually add flour mixture and chocolate mixture alternatively. Beat until smooth, but do not overbeat.
Pour half the batter into Bundt pan and press it toward edges and center of pan, making a little trench. Pour cheesecake filling into the trench, keeping it away from the edges. Pour the remaining batter over the filling.
Bake for one hour or until a toothpick comes out with moist crumbs. Let cool on a rack for 10 minutes then turn the cake out and let cool completely.
Glaze:
1/2 cup cream
2 tsp. corn syrup
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Heat cream and corn syrup in microwave in 30 second increments until hot. Add chocolate chips and whisk until smooth. Let cool slightly until thickened. Drizzle over cake.
Raspberry Chocolate Bundt Cake
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 10 inch Bundt pan and dust with cocoa.
1 (18.25 ounce) package dark chocolate cake mix
1 (3.9 ounce) package instant chocolate fudge pudding mix
2 cups sour cream
3 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup Chambord raspberry liqueur
2 cups chocolate chips
Combine cake mix, pudding mix, sour cream, eggs, oil, and raspberry liqueur in a mixing bowl. Beat until well blended. Fold in chocolate chips. Batter will be thick. Spoon into prepared pan.
Bake for 1 hour or until cake springs back when lightly tapped. Cool 10 minutes in pan, then turn out and cool completely on wire rack.
Top with fresh raspberries.
Chocolate, Chocolate, and More Chocolate Cake
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9x13 inch pan and dust with cocoa.
Cake:
1-3/4 cups flour
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 cup boiling water
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla
Combine dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt) in mixing bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla and beat for 2 minutes. Add boiling water and mix to combine. Batter will be very thin.
Pour into pan and bake 35 to 40 minutes until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.
Remove from oven. With a wooden spoon handle or whatever similar implement is available, poke holes all over the top of the cake and set aside.
Filling:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup semi -sweet chocolate chips
Place chocolate chips in mixing bowl and set aside. Heat sweetened condensed milk in microwave in 30 second int
ervals until steaming. Pour over chocolate chips. Whisk until smooth.
Pour chocolate mixture over cake and spread to fill holes.
Set aside to cool (about an hour) then refrigerate until completely cooled.
Whipped Cream Topping:
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
1 Tbsp. vanilla
1-1/2 cup mini chocolate chips
Beat cream until soft peaks form. Add powdered sugar, cocoa, and vanilla and continue beating until stiff peaks form. Spread onto cooled cake and sprinkle with mini chocolate chips. Store cake in refrigerator. If you decide to substitute M&Ms for the chips because they’re so pretty, eat immediately. The coloring looks disgusting when it merges with the chocolate cream. I know whereof I speak.
Chocolate Caramel Peanut Butter Cake
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line spring-form pan with parchment.
Cheesecake layer:
15 mini peanut butter cups, chopped into pieces
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 (8 oz) pkg cream cheese, room temperature
1 (3 oz) pkg cook and serve vanilla pudding mix
2 eggs
1 tsp. baking powder
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
Cream butter and sugar. Add cream cheese and stir until smooth. Combine pudding mix and baking powder then add to cream cheese mixture. Add eggs, one at a time, then lemon juice. Beat until smooth. Fold in peanut butter cups.
Pour batter into pan. Bake one hour. Remove from oven and place in freezer.
Increase oven temperature to 350 degrees. Grease 9-inch cake pan and dust with cocoa.
Chocolate Cake Layer:
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup oil
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup hot water
Put flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder, and salt in mixing bowl. Stir until well mixed.
Add buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla and beat on medium speed until mixed.
Add hot water and blend on low speed.
Pour into pan and bake for 35-40 minutes until toothpick comes out clean.
Cool on rack.
Caramel:
Option 1:
Purchase two jars of Chipotle Caramel Sauce from my friend and gourmet cook, Jon Ashmore, at:
https://squareup.com/market/gourmetfocus-dot-com
Option 2:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/4 cup butter
40 caramels, unwrapped
Heat all ingredients in microwave at 30 second intervals until smooth.
Take cheesecake layer from freezer and remove from pan. Line pan with plastic wrap then set cheesecake layer back in pan. Pour half caramel mixture over cheesecake layer and return to freezer.
Remove chocolate cake layer from pan. Line pan with plastic wrap then set chocolate layer back in pan. Pour remaining caramel mixture over chocolate layer and place in freezer.
Leave cakes in freezer for at least three hours or even overnight. When caramel is firm, remove chocolate layer and set on plate. Remove cheesecake layer and set on top of chocolate layer. Return cake to freezer.
Frosting:
1-2/3 cup semisweet chips
1-1/2 cups cream
1 heaping tsp. corn syrup
Melt ingredients in microwave at thirty second intervals, stirring after each interval, until chips are almost melted. Continue to stir until mixture is smooth.
Remove cake from freezer and pour thin layer of mixture over top of cake. Return cake to freezer.
Beat remaining chocolate mixture until light and fluffy.
Frost cake with this mixture. Top with miniature Reese Peanut Butter Cups. Store in refrigerator until ready to serve.
Deadly Chocolate Addiction (Death by Chocolate Book 6) Page 19