"Where are the cookie cutters?" she heard Kyle ask.
"We don't use those. We use this cup." Kristen's response brought a smile to Lauren's lips. It had been ages since they'd made cookies, but Kristen still remembered that they always used a special plastic cup with Mickey Mouse on it as a cookie cutter. She had been guiding Kyle around the kitchen for the better part of the fifteen minutes Lauren had been awake. Lauren had no doubt which one of them was really in charge of the cookie project.
"Okay, scooter. Time for the cookie sheet," Kyle said.
Lauren heard a clunk on the linoleum floor, followed by a heavy clank on the table.
As she listened to the easy conversation between Kyle and Kristen, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. They seemed so comfortable together, just like father and daughter.
Memories of her own childhood crept into her mind. Sure her father had never baked cookies with her. He'd left that sort of quality time for her mother. But there were many other wonderful memories that came to mind. Memories that she had forced aside years ago, still did when it hurt too much.
Now all those memories forged to the surface as she listened to the easy interaction between Kyle and Kristen.
Kyle had a natural talent for charming women of any age. He'd succeeded in charming his way into her heart, despite her every attempt to keep him at bay. Now he was charming his way into Kristen's life.
She sighed. She wasn't so sure she liked the idea of that. If it was just her heart, well hell, she'd have nothing to lose. She could take care of herself when the inevitable happened.
And it would happen. Kyle would leave. Because men always left when things got too rough, didn't they? Loving Kyle would be the easiest, most natural thing to do. But his leaving would tear the very fabric of her heart.
Kristen was too vulnerable. Her need for a father figure, a need that Lauren had ignored, was evident in the way she interacted with Kyle. She wanted so much to have a daddy and Kyle's presence proved to be ample replacement for what her life lacked. But what would happen when he was gone? How would Kristen cope with that loss?
She threw her blankets aside and reached for the robe at the foot of her bed, slipping into it as she walked to the door. Opening the door an inch, she peered through the narrow crack at the two bakers diligently working in the kitchen.
"It's too sticky. You need more flour," she heard Kristen instruct.
Kyle tossed some flour on the table, half of which landed on the floor, the rest created a cloud of white dust. "Ooops!"
"You missed the dough." Kristen giggled. "Mommy's going to be mad."
"We'll sweep up before she's even awake. She won't ever know."
"Mommy won't know what?" Lauren opened the bedroom door and stood in the doorway, watching as the two bakers hid the contraband. Kyle twisted and hid the bowl behind his back. Kristen scurried to grab the wooden spoon and hide that behind her back. Lauren sucked in her cheeks but couldn't help but laugh. She was sure there was more flour on the two of them, and the floor, than mixed in the dough. They were positively covered.
"You're feeling better?" Kyle asked, trying to appear casual.
"The sleep did some good." She perused the disaster in her kitchen. In the short time she'd slept, Kyle and Kristen had managed to turn it upside down.
As if reading her reaction to the mess, Kyle shrugged and gave a sheepish grin. "This was sort of a surprise."
"Yeah," Kristen added, smiling as if she were quite pleased with herself for all her effort.
Lifting her eyebrows, Lauren replied, "Believe me, it is." She walked back a step and thumbed toward the bathroom. "I think I'll just take a shower if you don't mind. Let you finish up with your, ah, surprise."
After collecting a pair of her favorite blue jeans, a red turtle-neck shirt and clean underwear, she withdrew to the sanctity of the bathroom. She discarded her robe and hung it on the hook on the back of the door. With her hand on the faucet, she stopped short of turning on the water. The sound of laughter coming in from the other room brought an ache to her heart.
Kyle would be such a wonderful father. He was kind and gentle and patient. And loving. Everything a child needed to feel safe and secure and loved.
Everything she needed, too, she couldn't deny.
She turned the faucet and dipped her hand under the stream of water until it was warm. When it was, she stepped into the shower and let the heat do its magic.
Thoughts of Kyle invaded her mind. If she let herself think about it, she pictured herself with a man like Kyle. Someone who'd help her bear the load, make her feel safe and secure, keep her warm at night.
But what was she doing? That wasn't going to happen. Long ago she'd conditioned herself to thinking that there wouldn't be another man in her life. Not while Kristen was young and needed so much of her time and attention.
In the short time since she'd been working at the Woodlawn Industries, she'd heard many young women talk about the men in their lives. There were some good times, some bad, but there always seemed to be the inevitable heartache that followed. She'd offered her shoulder to cry on, then listened for weeks, endlessly about how they'd never go through that again, only to have one of them come in Monday morning with news of a new man.
Sure, she'd listened to the talk and even envied a few that spoke of the true love they shared. But it always ended up the same. Like Jimmy, and like her father, the men would always leave.
And now Kyle. How was she going to feel when he walked away? She hated to admit it, but he'd opened up her heart and claimed a piece of it for himself. She cared for him and with those feelings came an incredible fear of loss.
Men didn't stick around once the pleasure had been spent. They didn't stay when the hard times hit. She'd learned that the hard way. With Kyle, she wanted to believe different. But how could she?
Twenty minutes later, she powdered herself, slipped into her clothes and decided to brave entering the kitchen.
"Is there any room in here for me?" she asked.
She was greeted with two wide grins inviting her to join them. It may be an illusion, she thought as she picked up the rolling pin, but the moment was too precious to ignore.
And Lauren wasn't quite ready to give it up. It had been so long since she had anything resembling family and Kyle had brought that into her life again. And introduced it to Kristen. Just for a little while, she wanted to savor the warmth he’d brought to their lives.
Many baked cookies and tied bows later, all the efforts of the day were finally completed. Lauren strung a strand of gold satin ribbon through the hole in the top of the last gingerbread cookie to be placed on the tree. After tying a big bow, she handed it to Kyle.
"You do the honors," she said.
"Why me?"
"You did so much work to make such a beautiful tree. You put on the last ornament."
"Too bad Kristen didn't stay awake long enough to do it herself." He placed the ornament on a branch just under the star.
"She must have played hard at your parents'. It isn't often that she asks to go to bed. At least she got to put the aluminum foil star on the tree." She sighed. "Look at this tree."
"Yeah. Beautiful." She felt his eyes on her and a warm heat crept up her neck to her cheeks.
"After all the work you did while I was snoozing, it should be beautiful."
"I meant you."
She bowed her head, embarrassed by his compliment. But no, it wasn't embarrassment at all, was it? It was something much more. Her insides hummed and her head was light as a feather. Why did he always do this to her? She averted her gaze and stared at the Christmas tree.
"You look just like a little girl who's wishing on a star," he murmured.
"Do I? I don't feel very much like a little girl," she admitted, and yet in so many ways she knew she was still as naive and insecure as a child.
A deep chuckle bubbled up from his throat and he smiled, cocking his head to one side. The soft glow from the lights of the tre
e illuminated his face. His features were strong and sure. In his gaze, she saw the raw edges of desire. "But you're not a little girl, Lauren. You're a woman. An incredibly beautiful woman."
He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. She involuntarily leaned into the source of pleasure.
She wanted him to hold her. It had been so long since she allowed herself to feel this vulnerable and exposed. Kyle was strong in body and in will and she needed his strength, needed him, more than she was ever willing to admit before.
"What do you dream of when you put your head down on your pillow at night? Tell me, Lauren," he whispered, pulling her into his arms, gazing down at her in a way she swore he could see straight through to her soul.
As she trembled in his arms, she knew if she opened her mouth to speak, it would be her undoing. The truth frightened her, the way he made her insides stir with the mere thought of him, the longing she had whenever he was gone.
No, she couldn't tell him the truth. If she did, then she'd have to tell him how she lay awake at night, longing to feel his hands run over every inch of her body. And how she wanted to return that pleasure. She'd tell him how she wanted to burn with the heat of his flesh and feel his heart racing wildly so close to hers.
That was her wish, her fantasy.
But she couldn't say a word, because she might just get her wish. And God help her after that.
"Kyle...I..." She closed her eyes and felt his lips brush against hers. At first, his kiss was like a gentle breeze blowing across her skin. Quickly it turned hot and hard, filled with a passion she'd never known. She burned with the intensity that melted her resolve. No amount of reasoning could convince her that she didn't want Kyle Preston.
And now he was here with her, holding her, kissing her with a wild abandon that made her forget all her fears.
# # #
Chapter Nine
Lauren felt Kyle's hard muscles flex beneath her touch as she leaned closer to his warm body. She looked up at him, into his eyes, and saw that his gaze was on her lips. She licked them instinctively and heard a guttural groan escape him. His desire was raw and transparent. It made her dizzy and catapulted her own desire skyward.
Was this really her? She'd never thought of herself as a woman who could feel such deep emotional hunger. Or that she could bring forth such a response from a man.
Her past experience was non-existent except for the one act that had produced her daughter. Although it had changed her life forever, it was over and done with before she even knew what was really happening. She was young then and didn't know the powerful effect that love could have on her.
Love.
Yes, this was definitely love, she realized. She was falling hopelessly in love with Kyle. This wasn't just about a physical need that had been left unfulfilled. It was about an emotional need she had no control over.
She hadn't known anything about love when she was eighteen. But what she knew now was that what she had with Kristen's father had never been love.
She didn't want that this time. She wanted to feel every touch, every breath, and every nuance that made her know she was the woman that Kyle desired. And he did desire her. The thought of that rocked her world. Never in her life had she felt such power and yet felt so vulnerable at the same time.
He bent his head and kissed her lips softly, then withdrew. "You still have a cold."
She nodded. "I'm sorry."
He frowned slightly and shook his head. "No, no. Don't be. You concentrate on breathing. If you don't mind, I'll just take my time concentrating on you." And he did. She felt his hot breath scorch her neck as his lips brushed against her skin. She gasped and felt herself melt against him when he tugged at the soft flesh of her earlobe with his teeth.
She closed her eyes and flattened her hands, brushing her palms against his chest. Acting on impulse, she curled her fingers around the fabric of his shirt and pulled him toward the bedroom.
She looked up into his face and saw in his eyes what she felt in her heart. They shared a basic, primitive emotion that was so strong, nothing could divide it.
"My sweet Lauren." His voice was rough as he gazed into her eyes.
She reached up and framed his face in her hands. She'd never loved any man before. But she was in love with Kyle. What a frightening and wonderful revelation.
With the bedroom door safely closed behind them, he resumed his quest to concentrate on her. She tangled her fingers in his dark hair as he continued to kiss her neck, her cheek. When she felt his rough hand beneath the cotton fabric of her shirt, she sucked in a deep breath.
Kyle raised his head and looked at her, as if asking her permission to take this dance they'd started a step further. She gave him her answer as a smile. She arched her back as he reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra.
With a low rumbling groan, he lifted her shirt off and lowered his head. The feel of his lips on her breast were like nothing she'd ever known. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down on the bed with her. They sunk into the mattress with the weight of Kyle’s body laying along the length of hers. She lifted her hips to meet him. Beneath the fabric of his jeans, she felt his desire was strong and hard. He pressed himself against the cradle of her thighs in response and Lauren thought she'd die of torment.
In an instant, her longing to have him took over. She would have waiting to follow his lead, after all, she couldn't say that she was completely sure of how to fulfill the desire she saw raging in him. Or felt in herself. But as she'd suspected all along, loving Kyle was as natural as breathing. Her love for him had taken control and washed away any fears lack of experience had given her.
She closed her eyes and felt his fingers tangle in her hair. As they kissed, she felt his tongue brush against her lips. He deepened their kiss and she welcomed the intimacy with each stroke, thinking about the promise of a deeper intimacy they were about to share.
She was nearly naked, except for her blue jeans and panties. And Kyle was completely dressed. She worked to change that fact.
She fumbled with his belt buckle until she was frustrated with her lack of success. "You do this," she panted. "Let me take care of your shirt."
With one swift motion, she pulled his shirt up to his shoulders, revealing a lattice of hard muscles. With him being so tall, she quickly realized the flaw in her plan and couldn't get the shirt any higher. But he deftly finished what she'd started, tossing the shirt to God knows where and dropping his jeans to the floor.
My Lord, but he was beautiful, she thought, gazing at him. Every inch of him was muscle and pure man. Her already raging body reached a fevered pitch and she moaned-she couldn't help it-when he stripped his briefs, revealing the strength of his desire.
Pulling the down comforter aside, she crawled on the bed and slipped off the last of her garments. "Come here," she said, holding her hand out to him.
He advanced toward her and abruptly stopped, turning toward his jeans instead of her. She watched impatiently as he sifted through his wallet, a worried look etched in his features, then a flash of relief before he pulled out a foil packet.
Her breathing grew more ragged as did his before he finally slid on top of her, their flesh burning with a passion almost to the brink of eruption. His hands stroked and caressed, his lips nipped and crushed, driving her skyward until she thought she'd go insane with need.
She wanted him inside her, to feel how close they could be. But she wasn't sure enough of herself to set the pace. Finally, she held his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. In them she saw a thousand promises meant to last a lifetime. She lifted her hips until they pressed against him in an erotic plea. And he instantly understood her unspoken words and smiled.
They came together like a tidal wave crashing against the shore. Her heart pounded with every breath, with each moan and cry, with each torturous stroke. They clung to each other until the first wave of release split her in two. She couldn't see or think or even breathe for wh
at seemed like an eternity. Within seconds of floating back to reality, she felt every muscle in Kyle's body that was touching her grow hard until he, too, was taken over the edge of oblivion.
It took a few moments for her breathing to become even again and her mind to clear.
"Mommy?"
Panic struck Lauren hard in her chest when she heard Kristen's faint voice coming from the other room. She bolted upright in the bed.
"Mommy, I don't feel good."
Taking a few deeps breaths to compose herself, she watched for Kyle's reaction as she slid off the bed, grabbing the first thing she could find to cover her bareness.
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