by Segunda L.
"TJ, I..." Samara started, she was finally about to say something after going into a semi comatose from TJ's confession.
I decided that was it for me. About time to leave the couple. Not interested in what she had to say. Don't wanna hear it. With careful steps, I walked away from them.
~*~*~
Attending my major classes passed by like a breeze with me paying more attention in class than I usually did. The professor gave us a surprise quiz after his lecture and I got a decent grade for it. Focusing on my studies for the day was a good way to escape from a thought that kept crossing my mind.
Must. Not. Think. About. It.
Fact was, reality catches up to you soon. Hard to escape from the inevitable. A few minutes from now I was supposed to meet with Samara to submit our project to Ms. Santos at four thirty PM. It was now four twenty. I was holding on to the manila papers were the plants were neatly folded and a bag with tiny jars inside it. Technically, it wasn't necessary that we submit the project together but since we worked on it together, it just felt right that we did.
There were empty benches beside the wall, I took a seat and sent Samara a text telling her I was already here. A crowd of students passed by, scurrying to leave and go to their respective classes. The janitor was dragging a mop with his dog barking alongside him. Some of my friends stopped by when they saw me and said their good lucks for the upcoming basketball game next week. Time passed by quickly, that when I checked my watch, it was already four-forty. Yet, there was no Samara. No text message either.
Should I text her again? No, wait. I probably shouldn't. Of course she was with TJ right now. All lovely dovey and stuff, maybe huddled in some dark corner. Great, now that she got a boyfriend she forgot all about her priorities. Didn't she know that school comes first before anything else? I should have a word or two with her father. He needed to know what his daughter was up to. Nah, I wouldn't do that. Let them go at it all they want. It was none of my business.
It really wasn't!
Standing up, I picked up my bag and lazily pulled the strap to my shoulder. I had basketball practice soon, if Samara wasn't coming then I had to submit my work by myself. It didn't matter if she was the one who suggested submitting together in the first place. It also didn't matter that she hollered my ass yesterday to make sure that I come here on time.
God, this feels like I got stood up. No, no. I should stop thinking that way. What a stupid thought. It wasn't like I asked her out on a date or anything. Okay, so maybe I was a little excited when I found out that we were going to meet up today. And maybe have some alone time with her.
Jeeze, Jared! Snap out of it!
Why would she want to spend time with me? She has TJ now. She always had him. He just didn't know it was more than friendship. Well now he knew. Thanks to me.
~*~*~
"You look like you're about to murder someone, Mr. Kippling."
I glanced up from the manila papers that were settled neatly on my arms. Miss Santos was sitting on a swivel chair, one eyebrow cocked while scrutinizing the expression on my face. Being too engrossed with my thoughts, I didn't notice I was already in the teacher's office.
"You mean if looks could kill, Ma'am." I grinned at my professor, once again forgetting my manners and letting my sass get the most of me.
She rolled her eyes and went back on checking the pile of papers on her table. Tapping on an empty space on her desk, she said, “Just leave your work here." I dropped the bundle of manila papers on the spot she pointed. The tiny vials clinked inside my bag as I moved. I took out the bottles with utmost care, setting them in a far enough corner that Miss Santos wouldn't accidentally bump into it. This only took me a few minutes. After placing the last of the bottles, I brushed my hands together in a form of a habit.
There. That should be an A. Proud of my work, I smiled as I zipped up my bag again. "All done."
"Good job, Mr. Kippling." She said, still busy with marking the papers in front of her. Without looking up, she lifted a piece of paper in my direction with her free hand. "Do me a favor and borrow this book from the old library."
I eyed the paper. Written on it was the title of a Science book, I noticed just now that her ID was under it. Shrugging, I received the paper and tucked it inside my pocket. "Sure thing, Ma'am." Little things I had to do for my savior.
~*~*~
The old library was, well, old. It had a Victorian design, something you'd expect from a horror movie. While the rest of the school had a modern look, this building seemed like it was left out. Our school had three main libraries in total. This was the very first one to be built. Most books were transferred to the new libraries, hence there were only a few books to be found on the shelves despite the size of the place.
I immediately headed for the Science section. The book wasn’t hard to find. The bookshelf it was in was almost empty. Wasting no time, I give the place a quick scan, I found the desk where the librarian should be to be empty.
Great, so everyone was ditching their responsibilities today.
Annoyed, I let my eyes rove in search of the librarian. No sign of her, or him for that matter. Instead, I found about ten students in the library, all minding their own business, reading the books in front of them or clicking away on their calculators. I was walking towards the librarian’s desk when I recognized someone familiar in the room.
Trix stood beside a bookshelf with a book on her hand, eyes amplified by thick eyeliner and black leggings hogging her legs. Curious if she knew the whereabouts of her friend Samara, I walked over to her and made my presence known by stomping my shoes right under her nose.
“What do you want?” She raised her eyes once and returned to reading.
“You seen Samara this afternoon?”
She leafed through a page before answering, “No.”
Oh wow, she was such a big help.
“I waited for an hour for her.” I said, exaggerating a bit with the hour. “She told me we were supposed meet this afternoon to submit our projects.” Now that I was saying it out loud, it was hard to contain my rising irritation.
“Text her then. You have her number.”
“Already did. She hasn't replied. Tell me if she texts you." Without thinking, I let out a deep sigh and said, “She’s probably with TJ.” As soon as I spewed out the words, I wanted to take it back. Crap. Judging by the way Trix was eyeing me with her brow raised, I could tell that I might have come off as pathetic. I cleared my throat and changed the topic right away before she can say anything. “Where’s the damned librarian anyway. Miss Santos wants to borrow this book."
To my relief, Trix didn’t pry. Or maybe she just wasn’t interested. Whatever it was, I was just glad that I was off the hook.
“You’re looking at her.”
“What?” I asked, still a bit shaken from my slip up.
She shut the book she was reading and tucked it in her armpit while she stretched her arm, palm open, at my direction. “Give me that book.”
I put two and two together. “You’re the librarian?”
“Yes, I’m the damned librarian. Now hand it over so I can do my job.” She tried to snatch the book from me, but I held it up, away from her reach.
"Job?" In Everson Private High School, students getting a job was unheard of. Parents would be disgraced if their kid got one. For most parents anyway, I wasn't so sure about my dad.
"Not everyone has a rich daddy, Kippling. Some people have to work their butts off so they can pay their tuition."
I gave her a quick run over with my eyes. She wasn't wearing designer clothes like most of the girls in school. But so was Samara. I just always assumed that was because they weren't show offs. For Samara that might be the case, but for Trix, it might be out of practicality. I handed her the book while seeing her in a new light. She grabbed it with much ferocity and strolled back to where she should be, the librarian's table. I followed her and asked out of curiosity, "How long have you been working here?"
>
I thought she wouldn't answer but I heard her say, "Three months," with her back on me. She was facing the computer, punching in the necessary details. I dropped Miss Santos's ID on her desk, she picked it up and swiped it on a device for validation.
"Here." She said, handing the book back to me.
"Thanks."
She nodded and dragged a chair to sit down. Looking bored out of her mind, she opened her drawer and pulled a phone from inside it. It was a blackberry phone with a skull phone strap dangling on it. She was fidgeting with the strap, completely ignoring me.
“You’re not one for a chitchat, are you?”
Instead of answering, she pointed to the exit and mouthed “out” while continuing to be busy with her phone.
“You win an award for friendliest librarian of the year.” That was a dig at her for being a such a snob. Nevertheless, I did her a favor and left her sight just as she wished. I walked away, wondering how I managed to surround myself with girls who didn’t seem to want me around.
“Kippling, hold on.” Trix’s voice called from behind. I turned around and found her rising from her chair. She was holding on to her phone, looking quite unsure of what she was doing.
I gave her my “what’s going on?” look.
Trix half sprinted towards me, her skirt rose a little from the effort, giving me a quick view of her pale but long legs. "I got a text from Sam." She paused, there was a hint of hesitation on her face. "She's out with TJ. They'll be back soon though. " Trix said, confirming what I already suspected. It was then I realized that I was secretly hoping that my suspicion was wrong because I instantly felt a quick stab in my chest, and a bitter feeling in my stomach.
"Hey, you okay, Kippling?" Trix, for the first time, sounded concerned. "You don’t look so well."
I pulled myself together and sucked in a deep breath. "Y-yeah, thanks for telling me... Anyway, I gotta go. Basketball practice starts soon." I left as fast as I can, not even bothering to look back once. There was no need for her to see the current state I was in.
~*~*~
Basketball practice was tough but my game was top notch performance. Coach and my teammates were psyched for the match next week. I wouldn't be contented with second place, I wanted our team to be the champion this year. To do that, I had to focus all my attention in basketball. Which was exactly what I needed. No room for thinking about unnecessary things.
"On three... One, two, three. Red Eagles, soar high!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The whole team was huddled in a semi-circle, screaming along with me. I ignored the fact that TJ was being overly happy. A permanent smile was stuck on his face.
Coach blew on his whistle. “Practice at five AM tomorrow. Sharp.” There were some groan of disapproval from the team, the others just nodded and surrendered to their fate. As the team dispersed, I could see TJ walking in excitement to our locker room.
"Sup with him?" One of our teammates asked, tipping his head to TJ's direction.
"No clue." I wiped my sweat with my towel and pretended not to know the source of TJ's change in mood.
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
~*~*~
There was one last thing I needed to do before I headed home. I paid a visit to the Reyn's residence. I wasn't alone, I came with someone. Someone I wanted Samara to meet. Both of us were sitting on their sofa, waiting for Samara to come downstairs. Her car was in their garage already, a complete give away that she was home. My companion and I heard a pair of footsteps heading our way. And soon enough, Samara stood in front of us. She was wearing our school hoodie and black leggings with purple slippers on. "Jared! I'm so sorry for this afternoon―." She said as soon as she came into view.
"Don't worry about it." I didn't let her finish. She didn't have to. I already knew what happened. I stood up and introduced my companion, "Samara, I'd like you to meet Gage. He's your new trainer. He'll be in charge of your work out routines from now on." Gage stood too and extended his hand to Samara. She shook his hand out of politeness, though her eyes were screaming at me that she was lost in the whole convo.
I pointed to Gage. "This guy here helped me get rid of the skinny Jared." I began to explain. "You could say he's responsible for turning me into a stud." On second thought, I added, "But to be honest, it was mostly good genetics."
Gage chuckled, "Cocky lad."
Samara looked back and forth from me to Gage. With a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, she turned to me, “Jared, can we talk?" And to Gage, she said, “Please make yourself comfortable."
Gage nodded, and sat back, enjoying the cake and coffee the maid just brought him. I tapped Gage’s shoulders before I walked behind Samara. Gage gave me a thumbs-up and continued sipping his coffee. I quietly followed Samara out of their living room. She didn't break the ice so I started. "What's up?" I right away regretted asking the question. I so didn’t wanna hear about her and TJ’s love affair.
We halted in their balcony, she was still giving me the silent treatment. I tried again, "Hey, you got me here yet you're not talking. I'd like to go back inside already. My cake might be in danger from Gage."
"What's the deal with the trainer?" Samara folded her arms, her brown eyes were showing a wounded expression.
"What do you mean?" I asked, relieved to know that she wasn’t gonna talk about TJ and confused at the same time to what her point was. "Let me guess, your dad didn’t tell you were going to meet him today? Well, Gage is supposed to help you out with your healthy lifestyle. Believe me, he knows what he's doing. He can give you the most effective routines." I deduced.
"That's not what I meant." Samara looked away, like she always did when she was embarrassed about something. "I thought you were going to guide me throughout this whole thing. This was all your idea. You should take full responsibility. But you go and pass it to someone else."
I was taken aback by the way she put it. "I-I'm not passing on the responsibility, okay? Gage is a pro, he'll do a better job than me. And besides, I gotta focus on basketball practice this coming weeks." Dammit, she should stop pouting. It was making it impossible for me to hold on to whatever self-control I still had. My hands were itching to reach out to her.
"Oh, right. You got championship soon." She said, oblivious that my self-control was hanging by a thread. "TJ keeps talking about it."
And just like that, I got a hold of myself again. I tucked my hands in my pocket to keep them from going anywhere. I really wanted to pry. Ask her how were things with TJ. At the same time, I didn't want to know. I started blabbering. "That's right, we'll be busy. Especially me. Since I'm the team's ace, if you haven't heard. Guess you won't be seeing my face much these days. Are you gonna miss me?"
"Ugh..." I was expecting her to flat out say no. "No. Not really." She finally decided.
"Too bad then." I shrugged, turned my back on her, and started walking away. "Because I'll miss you." I continued, low enough that she wouldn't hear.
“I’ll see you in school though, right?” She shouted just as I was about to leave the balcony.
I halted and without looking back at her, I said, “We’ll see.”
~*~*~
I didn't stay long enough to eat my cake. Shame really, because it was a black forest. My favorite kind. I just couldn't make myself to stay. Not that I didn't want to be near her. It was just that every time I was with her, I get the urge to touch her. Restraint was not my strong point. Better to stay away from the source altogether.
For fuck's sake!
Sounded like a major pussy just now. I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. I was in my bathroom, getting ready for dinner. As usual, I stared at my face on the mirror. Still looking handsome. Never mind the bruises. The water cooled my head a bit. Feeling rejuvenated, I wiped my face with a towel and headed for my bed. In one quick motion, I lifted my legs on the bed and rested my back on the headboard with a pillow for cushion. I picked up the ipod that was lying beside me and plugged in my earphones. The song "Arabella"
by Arctic Monkeys was playing. I closed my eyes. The wheels of my mind were turning. Be logical. Be practical. This was what I kept telling myself. Then I started to put some light on my accomplishment for the day.
1) I kept my promise to Samara. The one thing I swore on my manhood. TJ finally realized his feelings (with a little bit of my help).
2) By doing number 1, my guilty conscience for making fun of her before can finally get some rest. It was hard to sleep knowing I almost pushed someone to commit suicide.
3) I introduced a trainer for Samara. She was in good hands.
4) I did a pretty okay job in my tests for the day and a promising game in practice.
There. That about summed it up. No matter how I looked at it, my day was one of the good days. No reason for me to mope here in my room. So I stood up, and at the same time, someone knocked on my door.
"Jared, open up! It’s Carrie.”