Google Your Husband Back

by Julie Butterfield

  ‘Oh my God Kate, you need to stop this. I’m telling you that there is absolutely nothing between Alex and Gwen. This is a picture of two people at a Christmas party, drinking together, having their photograph taken. It is not a sign that they’re together in any way.’

  Fiona stroked Kate’s face, trying to get her to focus on what she was saying. ‘Listen to me Kate, please listen to me.’

  She felt Kate relax a little, a fraction of the tension leaving her shoulders.

  ‘It’s not Sandra Maddison?’ whispered Kate.

  ‘No, absolutely not,’ answered Fiona.

  Kate nodded, looking down at the crumpled picture in her hand

  ‘Right,’ nodded Kate and Fiona slumped in relief pressing a shaking hand to her mouth.

  ‘Kate darling you must …’

  But Kate had gone, breaking free from the protective circle of Fiona’s arms and dropping the photo to the floor without a second glance.

  ‘Well if that’s Gwen,’ began Kate following the photographic trail towards the last few weeks of its timeline and the bright blur of the Christmas party, ‘where is Sandra Maddison?’ she asked, her eyes frantically searching for the blonde woman she suspected had stolen her husband’s heart.

  Fiona watched in horror as Kate grabbed at each photograph, searching the background for some glimpse of Sandra, throwing them to one side if they didn’t fulfill the requirements.

  Suddenly she snatched at one almost throwing it at Fiona. ‘This one … is that her?’

  ‘Kate please calm down ...’

  ‘IS THAT HER?’

  Fiona shook her head, ‘Of course not that’s Olivia from …’

  Kate had already turned away scrabbling through the pile.

  ‘What about this one?’

  ‘Kate you’re going to make yourself ill if you keep this up. I should never have mentioned Sandra’s name. I just said Alex had been flirting that’s all. I never meant you to think that they were having an affair or …’

  ‘What about this one?’

  ‘Oh God Kate please!’

  ‘Is this her? Is this Sandra Maddison?’

  Fiona shook her head in despair, tears pricking at her eyes. She wondered if she should phone a doctor, phone Kate’s mum, phone Alex.

  Kate grabbed at her arm, her eyes boring into Fiona’s own. Her voice was soft, pleading.

  ‘Please help me Fee,’ she whispered. She held up her hand to stop Fiona from replying, ‘I know you don’t think there’s anything going on but I just want to see her picture. I’m just trying to understand what went wrong and I feel, somehow, that if I see what happened that night it will help.’

  For a moment neither of them moved and then with a heavy sigh, Fee joined her friend on the floor her hand smoothing over the rumpled pictures in her search. She stopped, picking at the corner of a photograph somewhat distastefully and examining it for a second before handing it to Kate.

  ‘There,’ she instructed, pointing to a figure just in range of the shot. ‘There, that’s Sandra. And as you can see Alex is nowhere near her.’

  Kate stared silently at the figure caught at the very edge of the photograph. She was standing slightly apart from the group the camera was following, half turning in their direction so her face was caught almost full on but with her body still mainly in profile.

  Kate smiled. How could she have ever thought that Gwen was Sandra Maddison. They were nothing alike.

  Gwen had been stylish, smooth, expensive. Kate had imagined her gazing seductively at Alex and he would have been unable to do anything about it. She would have bared her perfect teeth outlined by her glossy, expensive lipstick and he would have succumbed immediately. Kate had felt defeated when she saw Gwen’s picture because she knew she wasn’t able to compete.

  The woman in this shot was just as Fiona had described her. She wasn’t as tall as Gwen. She wasn’t as slim. Oh she wasn’t fat and she didn’t have Kate’s baby pouch but neither did she have the natural long, lean slenderness of Gwen. Her dress was not the expensive designer model worn by Gwen, although it had been chosen carefully to make the most of her figure, emphasising an undeniably impressive cleavage. The fabric travelled across her stomach in gentle folds but stopped too high up her thigh. Her hair was blonde but not the natural soft sheen of Gwen’s hair, it was an altogether more brittle colour, swept up at the back in a similar style but it hadn’t been set by a hairdresser and was already tumbling down in a birds’ nest at the back of her head. Her face was ever so slightly out of focus and no matter how much Kate stared she couldn’t make out the individual features. A normal face, over plucked eyebrows, red lips, that was about as much as she could determine. But the overwhelming impression, much to Kate’s delight was almost exactly as Fiona had described, okay and maybe just a little desperate.

  ‘Kate?’ asked Fiona nervously, ‘are you alright.’

  Kate carried on staring at the photo. She had scoured every inch, every shadowy shape but had been unable to find even a glimpse of Alex. He was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘Kate?’

  Kate looked up her yes blinking.

  ‘Are you okay honey?’

  Kate nodded, turning her eyes back to the picture.

  ‘You see what I mean,’ asked Fiona, happy that the crisis had been averted. ‘She’s nothing Kate, nothing at all to worry about. There’s no way that Alex would leave you for her.’ Fiona sat in the chair recently vacated by Kate and sipped at her cup of tea. It had gone a little cold and she wrinkled her nose.

  ‘I asked Stuart, when he came home. I told him what had happened – I didn’t think you’d mind?’ She shot a quick glance at Kate who shook her head, a new photograph now clutched in her fist. ‘He was as shocked as me. He said he hadn’t heard anything about Alex, nothing at all. No gossip at work, not even a tiny little rumour that Alex might be having an affair so I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about darling. Really. Alex is having some sort of - crisis and doesn’t know what he’s doing right now. That’s all it is.’

  She leaned over to touch Kate on the shoulder, ‘You will be alright by yourself tonight Kate? I can stay you know. I’ve put Stuart on notice that I might not go home and I …’

  ‘No - thank you,’ smiled Kate. ‘Thank you so much Fee but I wouldn’t do that to you. A morning having to get your three to school on his own and Stuart would be walking out as well!’

  Fiona chuckled. ‘It might do him good, make him appreciate me more!’

  Kate shook her head and yawned. ‘Truly Fee, I’m okay. I just need to get some sleep.’

  Fiona looked doubtful but gave in and hugged her friend as she headed for the door.

  ‘I’ll come round tomorrow, after the school run,’ she promised as Kate opened the door. ‘I know it’s easy to say but try and get some sleep Kate. It will sort itself out I’m sure and in the meantime you need to look after yourself.’

  Kate smiled wryly. They both knew that sleep was unlikely for Kate that night but she allowed her friend to reassure her, allowed her to wrap her arms around her and smooth her hair

  ‘I’ll be okay Fiona, really I will,’

  ‘And forget all this business about Alex having an affair! I’m certain that he’s not. I would have heard something – well Stuart would have heard something, no-one at that office can keep anything to themselves!’

  Kate nodded obediently.

  ‘Sandra Maddison was just someone he flirted with at the Christmas party, nothing more. I don’t know why Alex has gone but he’ll be home as soon as he realises what a stupid thing he’s done.’

  Kate nodded again then said ‘Goodnight’ and watched her friend walk down the path, her breath freezing in the bitterly cold night air, before closing the door.

  She knew she would not be able to sleep. She knew that visions of Alex standing in the doorway saying he was leaving would hound her through the darkness. But obediently she locked the door, turned off the lights and climbed into bed to lay
staring at the ceiling with tears rolling down her face as she sobbed and wondered why the man she loved had left and whether it had anything at all to do with Sandra Maddison.

  Chapter 5

  It was after midnight when Kate phoned Fiona. After her friend had left, Kate had gone to bed but was unable to sleep, tossing and turning for hours. In her mind she could still see the snaking line of photos that recorded her life with Alex; happy, smiling images of a young couple in love and she’d suddenly realised how silly she was being. She loved Alex with all her heart and she knew he loved her just as much. Why would he suddenly decide to leave her? And as for the idea that he had left her for a woman he’d met only weeks before at a Christmas party – Kate had thrown back her head and laughed. He was obviously cross with her, maybe he was teaching her a lesson but he hadn’t left. And certainly not because he was with Sandra Maddison. He was coming home, Kate just knew he was coming home. So she had ignored the time on the clock and decided to recruit Stuart to help her find out for sure where Alex was.

  ‘I think he’s gone away with work,’ she announced triumphantly as Fiona was still trying to work out which way up to hold the phone.

  ‘He’s cross with me so he took all his clothes to make it look like he was leaving,’ Kate laughed as she carried on breathlessly. ‘He’s coming home at the end of the week like he always does but he’s letting me think he’s not because he’s angry.’

  Fiona didn’t answer and Kate continued. ‘Of course he hasn’t left! People don’t leave when they’re happy and Alex was happy, we were happy, so he hasn’t left. And Sandra Maddison,’ another high pitched laugh, ‘Oh God what was I thinking? You tried to tell me it was nothing Fiona and I wouldn’t listen. But you’re right. Alex wouldn’t leave me for someone else. If he was having an affair I would know! And why would he want to have an affair anyway? He was happy, here, with me.’ Kate’s voice started to break slightly and she took a deep breath. ‘Anyway, I’ve realised that I’m just being hysterical and of course Alex hasn’t left me. He’s away with work and he’ll be back in a day or so. If I phone the office tomorrow and ask to speak to him someone will tell me he’s in Warrington or Rotherham or somewhere else doing something for the company.’

  ‘Kate …’ Fiona tried to interrupt.

  ‘But I was thinking Fee, I wondered if Stuart could ask? He could go to Alex’s department and just ask where he is, as though he needed to talk to him about something.’

  ‘Kate honey…’

  ‘I just need to know. It will just help me stop wondering Fee. I mean I know he’s coming home and he hasn’t really left me. But it would be good to know for certain.’

  There was a pause as Kate finally stopped talking.

  ‘Kate, why don’t I come round? I can stay with you tonight and …’

  ‘No, don’t be silly. Really I’m fine Fee. I just wanted to ask if Stuart could check for me. Because he works there and he can ask without it sounding strange. If I phone, people will think I don’t know where Alex is.’

  Neither of them said the obvious and Fiona sighed. ‘Kate …’

  ‘Please Fiona! Please ask Stuart if he will find out for me!’

  There was the slightest hesitation. ‘Okay Kate. I’ll speak to Stuart and I’ll come round to see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Thank you,’ breathed Kate.

  ‘Now please try and get some sleep.’

  And saying goodnight Kate actually fell into a deep if somewhat troubled sleep, her dreams full of images of a happy and smiling Alex but with a feeling of dread and panic swirling through her mind that she couldn’t quite place.

  The sun was shining through the curtains where Kate hadn’t pulled them together tightly enough, the light resting on her face.

  Alex was smiling at her, the smile that always made her feel so special because it was clear that it was a smile just for Kate and no-one else.

  ‘More potatoes Alex?’ asked Kate’s mother and Alex stopped smiling at Kate and turned instead to smile at Marcia Brady as she proffered a serving dish still holding plenty of perfectly cooked roast potatoes.

  ‘Yes please Marcia,’ answered Alex politely and heaped several more on his plate. ‘These are delicious.’

  Kate grinned, Alex loved his potatoes. She must ask her mum how to make them so deliciously fluffy. Kate wasn’t exactly a star in the kitchen, mainly from lack of interest but now she had Alex to cook for, well she needed to be able to provide him with a pile of roast potatoes cooked just like her mum’s.

  When they had finally finished, Marcia refused Alex’s offer to help clear the table and waved him into the living room. Kate knew better than to follow and she began to carry the tableware into the kitchen.

  ‘He seems very nice my dear,’ said her mum as she slipped on a dark blue apron over her dress and began washing.

  ‘Responsible, grown up and obviously keen to make a name for himself with his new job,’ she continued.

  Kate couldn’t help but smirk a little, deciding to overlook the clearly surprised tone of her mother’s voice. It was the first boyfriend who had ever received even the slightest hint of approval from Marcia Brady even though Kate had long made a habit of only bringing home young men who she thought may stand a chance and leaving many potential candidates at home by themselves when she was summoned for Sunday lunch.

  Kate’s parents had divorced when she was nine and even at that tender age Kate could tell it was the best thing for all of them. Kate’s mum, far from being traumatised at being left on her own with a nine-year-old, just seemed slightly relieved to have one person less in the household. Over the next few years Kate had the definite impression that her mother was playing a waiting game until Kate also departed leaving Marcia without the interruption of other people in her life. Once Kate had finally moved out and there was no-one else to disturb the status quo, the house spent its days in a showroom condition regardless of the time of day. Tea was always made in a rose covered teapot which was placed on a tea tray along with a matching milk jug before being poured into china cups. The everyday china was used Monday to Saturday but the best china was always used on Sunday even if Marcia was the only one to sit at the mahogany dining table, and sit at the table she always did, nothing so common as a plate on her knee for Marcia Brady.

  Kate’s hand hovered by one of the wine glasses she had collected from the very same mahogany table.

  ‘You’re not going to put that in the dishwasher are you dear?’

  Kate’s hand moved as though burned, ‘Of course not Mum!’

  ‘Good, crystal doesn’t go in the dishwasher.’

  Kate set it next to the sink, beside the gold rimmed plates which also didn’t go in the dishwasher. In fact, thought Kate as she looked around, very little of the Sunday dinner service seemed to belong in the dishwasher. Reluctantly she picked up a tea towel and started drying.

  ‘How long have you known each other?’ asked Marcia, her eagle eyes watching Kate as she dried a plate. ‘Do be careful Kate, they are part of a set you know.’

  Kate hated being in the kitchen with Marcia. The intense scrutiny made her so nervous she dropped more in her mother’s kitchen than she dropped anywhere else combined.

  ‘Oh a couple of months,’ she said carefully drying the plate and setting it to one side.

  ‘Mm. Do you spend much time with him?’

  Kate stared. ‘Of course we do, we’re going out.’

  ‘Do you spend much time in the house?’

  Kate blushed. Her mother was obviously trying to find out if Kate was sleeping with him.

  ‘Quite a lot,’ she mumbled, drying another plate and adding it to the pile. ‘We are both old enough you know!’

  Marcia’s eyebrows raised. ‘I’m sure you are dear. I’m not actually asking if you’ve had sex.’

  Kate’s blush threatened to cover her entire body. This was a conversation she simply couldn’t have with her mother.

  ‘I was just wondering if he actually spe
nt any time with you at home. If he knew how appallingly untidy you are, how disorganised. Has he ever had the misfortune of eating any of your cooking for example?’

  Kate pouted. ‘He loves me mum, he loves me because I’m messy and disorganised and can’t cook!’

  Actually Kate suspected the last part was not true, that Alex loved her despite her quite appalling untidiness and total lack of cooking skills. But only the other day when she had been unable to find her door keys in the disaster that was her flat, Alex had laughed and hauled her into his arms and instead of being annoyed that they were now fifteen minutes late for the cinema he had told her that he loved the chaos that she brought into his life. They ended up missing the entire film as Alex insisted on showing Kate just how much he loved her disorganised ways. She’d found the keys the next morning in the cutlery drawer when she went to make a cup of tea.

  Kate realised she was smiling at the memory and her mother was watching her with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘It’s all well and good in the beginning,’ said Marcia briskly, rinsing the last plate and taking off her apron. ‘But give it a few years and I guarantee that other people’s mess and clutter becomes far from romantic.’

  Her voice was stern and Kate had a fleeting memory of one of the many arguments that used to greet her every evening when she came in from school.

  ‘Oh Graham, can’t you put anything away!’

  ‘For God’s sake Marcia, I’m still using the wretched thing, stop being such a pain!’

  Kate had been in no doubt that her mother had found her husband’s natural inclination towards untidiness less than appealing. It had been an act of rebellion on Kate’s part that made her refuse to follow in her mother’s footsteps and instead adopted her father’s untidy, cluttered approach to life.

  Kate shrugged her shoulders. ‘Well Alex loves me the way I am,’ she said defensively, ‘I don’t need to change!’ and the conversation had stopped as Kate finished the plates in silence and Marcia poured some water into the rose covered teapot and set out the tray with her china cups and saucers.