Google Your Husband Back

by Julie Butterfield

  ‘Er how about Friday night? I could meet you after work?’ Maybe we could get a bite of something to eat and talk.’

  Kate’s heart beat a tattoo as she felt her lips stretching outwards into a huge smile. ‘Friday night?’ she queried.

  ‘If that’s okay with you? Will Fiona look after Millie do you think?’

  Suddenly the smile faltered. Friday night, that would mean missing salsa. Of course, reasoned Kate, the whole reason she was going to salsa was so she could wave a red flag in Alex’s direction, capture his attention without resorting to hysterical phone calls and demands. Of course she would miss salsa if it meant moving a step closer to Alex returning home.

  But Kate was enjoying salsa. She was actually doing something she enjoyed. Something she had previously given up for Alex. Something she had given up so she could concentrate on becoming a perfect wife. The sort that had a perfect marriage. The sort whose husbands remained faithful.

  ‘Friday?’ she said. ‘Actually, Friday isn’t good for me Alex, can we make it another night?’

  The silence was overwhelming. It stretched on for several seconds.

  ‘You’re busy on Friday?’ he asked disbelievingly.

  A trickle of something travelled down Kate’s backbone.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And it’s not something that you can put off?’

  Of course it was thought Kate, she just didn’t want to.

  ‘Not really.’

  ‘Oh is it the salsa class thing you’ve started doing?’ he asked casually.

  Kate’s eyes widened. He knew. He had heard about her going to salsa. Maybe not from Sandra but he’d heard from someone at the office that his wife, his abandoned wife, was not at home crying but was out dancing the salsa and looking good. And not just dancing, but dancing with a good looking man. That’s why he had phoned.

  Kate punched the air with delight.

  ‘It is,’ she said calmly.

  ‘And you can’t miss a night of salsa to talk to me?’

  ‘Of course I could,’ said Kate thoughtfully, ‘but I would prefer not to.’

  ‘Another long pause.

  ‘Right,’ Alex started in a huff. ‘Well what night are you free?’

  Should she suggest he wait while she checked her diary, thought Kate. It was unsurprisingly very empty, apart from one hour on Friday night.

  ‘No point waiting until Friday is there? What about ton - tomorrow?’ suggested Kate.

  It had been on the tip of her tongue to suggest they meet that night but her brain immediately thought of all the work that was needed, the research into which outfit would bring her husband back to her, what she should and shouldn’t say, what phrases would make him realise his mistake.

  ‘Okay,’ replied Alex gruffly, ‘tomorrow then. I’ll meet you in town after work, around half six?’

  ‘No,’ said Kate before he could put down the phone. ‘Collect me from the house. You may not recall Alex that you have taken the only car we have and I don’t fancy catching two buses into town,’ and happy that she had at least given him something to think about, Kate hung up before feverishly dialing Fiona’s number and tapping the keys of her keyboard to see what advice Google had for someone who was about to meet their unfaithful husband for the first time since he had abandoned her.

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, only minutes after the school bell had rung, Fiona was at Kate’s door, blowing on her cold hands and dancing around with excitement.

  ‘I knew it would work,’ she declared, pulling off her coat and following Kate through to the kitchen. ‘I knew as soon as he heard you were okay and going out he’d be in touch. I knew he’d want to know what was going on in your life. He may have moved on to someone else but the plan was never that you would! I knew …’

  Kate held her hand up laughing. ‘Okay, okay,’ she said giggling. ‘I agree the plan worked. He even tried to arrange a meeting for Friday so I wouldn’t go to salsa!’

  ‘Bastard!’ ground out Fiona. ‘How dare he!’

  Kate shrugged her shoulders. Today wasn’t the day to hate Alex. Today was the day to take the first step forward with her plan to get her husband back.

  ‘Right,’ said Fiona grinning. ‘Let’s get started.’

  They had spoken to each other nonstop on the phone the day before, both investigating every lead offered by Google and reading every article and piece of advice they could find about how to treat the husband who left you for another woman when you want him back.

  Fiona produced a large piece of yellow card covered in bullet points in green felt tip.

  ‘All I could find,’ she said at Kate’s raised eyebrows.

  She placed the card on the table and pointed to the first line.

  ‘He’s made contact – that’s good.’

  Kate grinned.

  ‘He’s heard you’ve been out enjoying yourself. I bet he wants to know more about what you’re doing.’

  Kate nodded happily.

  ‘It’s probably a fact finding mission, but you’ve got his attention. So let’s stick with the plan.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘You have to play it cool Kate. No tears, no pleading, no begging. Apparently nothing puts unfaithful husbands off quite so much as a desperate, weeping wife.’

  Kate nodded again. Hadn’t she been calm when Alex had finally phoned her and she heard his voice for the first time in over two weeks? Okay she had cried for two hours after she’d hung up the phone but she’d been calm at the time.

  She took a deep breath and agreed. ‘Calm,’ she agreed.

  ‘He needs to see that you’ve been hurt but that you’re not devastated and lost without him. That will fuel his belief that he was right to leave you in the first place,’ quoted Fiona.

  ‘Why?’

  Fiona bit her lip. ‘Something to do with feeling that he’s trapped and needing air and space.’

  ‘Right,’ nodded Kate. ‘So I’m going to be quietly hurt but …?’

  ‘Er – just a minute. Hurt but resigned and ready to start your life again without him,’ read Fiona.

  Kate frowned. ‘But don’t I want him to know I miss him and want him home?’

  ‘No,’ began Fiona quickly checking her notes, ‘well yes, but in a controlled way. He needs to know that you’re strong enough to cope without him. That will dent his ego and make him want you again.’

  ‘Really?’ queried Kate doubtfully.

  ‘Yes.’

  Kate nodded.

  ‘You need to make him accept what he’s done Kate,’ said Fiona firmly. ‘That means none of this blaming yourself and making excuses why he cheated on you.’

  Kate hung her head and nodded.

  ‘You need to remind him in a clear and unemotional way that he has been unfaithful. He walked out on his wife and daughter and that in your opinion, that was a bad thing to do.’

  Kate nodded harder.

  ‘You do not for a moment suggest that you were in any way to blame,’ continued Fiona in her sternest voice.

  Kate bit her lip.

  ‘Kate!’ warned Fiona.

  ‘Okay, okay,’ Kate sighed. ‘But I need to accept that some of it may have been my fault.’

  ‘It wasn’t your fault Kate.’

  ‘Some of it may have been. Google said he was feeling neglected and if that’s because I didn’t pay him enough attention then it was partly my fault.

  Fiona gritted her teeth. ‘It was not your fault. But,’ she sighed in resignation, ‘you can listen to his excuses …’

  ‘His reasons.’

  ‘His excuses, and be prepared to consider any claims he makes regarding your own behavior.’

  ‘Isn’t that the same as saying it’s my fault?’ asked Kate.

  ‘No, it is not. You will listen to his excuses and ponder them. You will not throw yourself across the table and tell him it’s all your fault, you made him have an affair and you forgive him.’

  ‘But forgivingness is e
ssential to move on’ insisted Kate. ‘Google definitely said that I would have to forgive Alex before he could come home.’

  ‘Well Google also says make him pay!’

  Kate sighed, her head was beginning to ache.

  ‘Okay, calm, rational, make him admit he behaved badly, let him give his excuses, think about them but hold off on the forgiveness for now,’ she repeated rubbing at the furrow on her forehead.

  ‘Good!’

  Kate wondered if she could write all this on the back of her hand, it seemed a lot to remember during the pressure of her first meeting with Alex.

  ‘What if he says he wants to come back?’ she asked happily.

  ‘He won’t’

  ‘But what if he does?’

  ‘Well he won’t, not just yet. He’ll want to test the water and see just how accommodating you’re likely to be.’

  Kate nodded but couldn’t help the little shiver of excitement that chased down her spine. Google didn’t know everything, maybe Alex had been distraught at the tales of his wife dressed to impress and dancing the salsa with a strange man.

  ‘Kate,’ said Fiona gently,’ he won’t ask to come back. It’s too soon.’

  Kate nodded agreement even as she started to imagine coming back with Alex after the meeting, saying casually to Fiona that Alex had come home.

  Fiona sighed as she saw the dreamy expression on Kate’s face.

  ‘It’s a long journey Kate, this is just the first step. Alex will have to face up to what he’s done first of all, then he’ll have to accept that he’s made a mistake and then decide that he wants to come back home …’ she relented at the disappointment in her friend’s face. ‘He’ll come home Kate, I just don’t think it will be tonight.’

  Fiona continued working through her bullet points giving Kate instructions for any eventuality that might occur, making her practice responses to possible questions and rehearse a cool, faintly disinterested smile designed to make Alex slightly crazy with curiosity until Kate could not take in any more information.

  ‘Okay, well I think we’ve done all we can for now’ accepted Fiona eventually. ‘Now I need to go and collect my brood from school but Stuart is coming home early to feed them so I’ll be back shortly for the fun part.’

  Kate looked questioningly as Fiona stood up. ‘We’ve got to make you look so drop dead gorgeous he won’t be able to believe he made the mistake of ever leaving you!’

  Kate spent a few hours nervously pacing around the house, her mind bubbling with hope and excitement as well as worry and anxiety. Fiona soon returned and she and Millie watched as Kate spent the next two hours making herself look better than she had in years, in a way that indicated that she had made no effort at all.

  Her hair was brushed and teased until it hung down her back in rippling waves, the way Alex loved. She sat, her face almost immobile from the face pack Fiona had brought with her and watched Millie eat her tea. Millie was fascinated by her mother’s suddenly green face but Kate couldn’t smile, her cheeks held rigid by the paste that claimed it would invigorate her skin and provide the equivalent glow of a great night’s sleep. Privately Kate thought that it would take a good deal more than a face pack to make her look as though she’d had anything remotely resembling a decent night’s sleep but she was willing to give it a try so she sat, unspeaking with a face held rigid for fifteen minutes until Fiona declared it was time to peel it away.

  Peering in the mirror, Kate felt that although it hadn’t quite lived up to its claims she did look a little more alert, as though she’d had a decent nap at least.

  There was a great deal of debate over the outfit. Taking the laptop upstairs, Fiona flicked through page upon page of advice while Kate pulled out outfit after outfit.

  ‘This is a really important bit,’ declared Fiona. ‘You can’t afford to look as though you’ve gone to too much effort, he’ll think you’re desperate.’

  Kate refrained from saying she was very desperate and if it resulted in Alex coming back home she was happy to go out wearing hot pants and little else.

  ‘But obviously you need to look fabulous, so he remembers how much he loved you, starts to regret not being with you.’

  Kate nodded.

  ‘So you need to look sexy in a disinterested kind of a way. Alluring, but not as though you’ve gone to any effort.’

  Kate frowned. ‘All that in one outfit?’

  ‘We can do it!’ declared Fiona trying to sound confident.

  The next half hour Kate tried on almost everything in her wardrobe.

  ‘Too formal,’ announced Fiona as Kate took out a skirt and cashmere top.

  ‘Too desperate,’ she declared as Kate replaced it with a tight red dress that left nothing to the imagination.

  ‘Too casual,’ she insisted as Kate tried for the everyday approach in jeans and a silk blouse.

  After much debate which included emptying Kate’s wardrobe and covering her bed with discarded outfits that reminded Kate of her old flat, they stood side by side looking at Kate’s reflection in the mirror

  Neither of them said anything then Fiona broke into a grin. ‘I think we’ve done it honey, that’s the outfit.’

  Kate was dressed in black silk trousers which grazed her ankle and a top in a soft copper hue that clung to Kate’s figure, showed off the strawberry blonde hair to perfection and even brought a slight glow to Kate’s skin. The top was cut low enough to provide an enchanting peak of cleavage but was not so low as to suggest that Kate was seeking attention. The stone that Kate had lost since Alex had left meant the trousers hugged her hips and the top showed her shrinking waist.

  ‘Exactly right,’ breathed Fiona. ‘Exactly right.’

  Kate hung the outfit on the front of the wardrobe until nearer the time and turned her attention to her makeup. A good hour before Alex was due to arrive Fiona ran into the bathroom to spray Kate with her favourite perfume.

  ‘It mustn’t appear too fresh when Alex arrives,’ she explained. ‘He needs to be able to smell a familiar smell which will remind him of you, but it mustn’t be too strong or too obvious. We don’t want him thinking you’ve put it on solely for his benefit.’

  Kate stood still while Fiona sent a soft spray towards Kate’s curls before directing her hand downwards towards her breasts, winking at Kate as she sprayed.

  Then she took Millie away to have a bath while Kate concentrated on her face. She covered the shadows under her eyes, already slightly depleted from her face mask, she brought some colour back to her pale cheeks, she outlined her eyes and applied just enough mascara to make sure her lashes were curling upwards and she rubbed soft pink gloss into lips dry with constant crying.

  Stepping back to look in the mirror, she nodded. To the untrained eye it was understated, minimal effort for a face that was naturally pretty and had a golden glow. Only Kate knew how much effort it had required.

  Fiona put Millie into her cutest pyjamas and fluffed up her blonde baby curls. She smelt of baby and soap suds and Kate felt her heart contract as she imagined Millie growing up without Alex in their lives. She kissed the blonde head and thanked Fiona for all her help before going back to the outfit hanging on the wardrobe door.

  When she walked downstairs Fiona looked at her from every angle before smiling and giving her a hug.

  ‘You look amazing,’ she whispered. ‘Absolutely amazing. He’ll be hard pressed to think why on earth he left you!’

  Kate nodded, too nervous to speak as she put her coat and bag on the kitchen table ready to grab when Alex came.

  ‘I’ll get the door,’ announced Fiona. ‘You’ll be on the phone when he arrives.’

  Kate looked at her blankly. ‘I will?’

  ‘Yes, you’ll just be saying goodbye and the last thing you’ll say is - see you on Friday night.’

  ‘But who am I phoning?’

  Fiona tutted. ‘You won’t be phoning anybody! But it will look as though someone has just phoned you.'

  She sh
ook her head at Kate’s continued confusion and carried on slowly. ‘You will pretend you are speaking to someone, imagine that it’s Josh.’

  Kate blushed and Fiona continued. ‘And as Alex comes through the door you’ll say that you have to go but you’re looking forward to Friday.’

  Kate’s mouthed dropped open. ‘Ah!’

  ‘And when Alex asks who you were speaking to, and he will, you will look at him as though it’s none of his business and then with a little smile you’ll say it was just your salsa partner.’

  Kate’s eyes were now huge. ‘What if he asks me more?’

  ‘Then you’ll be casual, shrug your shoulders and don’t give him any info.’

  ‘But what if …’

  ‘Kate! Alex is the one who left you and shacked up with Sandra Maddison! He’s the one answering the questions tonight!’

  Kate nibbled at her finger only to have it slapped by Fiona. She looked down at the immaculate nails painted a soft pearly pink.

  ‘I really don’t think that lying is going to help things at all Fiona.’

  ‘Lying, who’s lying? Did you partner Josh at salsa last week?’

  ‘Well yes but …’

  ‘Did Josh ask you to partner him at salsa again this week?’

  ‘Yes but …’

  ‘Then there is no lying Kate, other than the lying Alex has been doing of course. You are simply letting him believe what he wants.’

  Kate still looked uncertain but at that moment the doorbell rang out into the house making both Kate and Fiona jump.

  ‘Oh God Fee, he’s here!’

  Kate had started to shake and for a moment the glamorous facade she’d spent all afternoon erecting looked under threat of falling down around her ears.

  Fiona grabbed her friends hand. ‘Keep calm Kate. Deep breaths, remember everything we’ve said. Alex is going to fall in love with you again tonight and everything will work out fine.’

  Kate thought about dashing to the bathroom, she could feel the bile rising in her stomach. Her mind was blank, all the research she and Fiona had done was now a thing of the past. She couldn’t remember a single piece of advice.

  ‘Kate!’ Fiona was shaking her arm, looking at her friend in consternation. ‘Come on Kate, it’s time.’