by Annie Groves
CHAPTER EIGHT
Kathleen woke with a start and for a moment couldn’t work out what the noise was. She tried to make out the time on her battered old enamel alarm clock, but it was barely dawn and still too dark to see. The banging was coming from the front door. Still foggy from sleep, she swung her legs out of bed and pushed her feet into her well-worn slippers. She had to stop the banging before it woke Brian. He’d taken ages to get off last night and an early wake-up was the last thing he needed.
‘Kathleen! Open up!’ came a voice.
For a moment she was seized with terror. Last week a man had come to the door, banging on it just like this. It had been in the middle of the morning, as she was thinking about going to the market to see if there were any bargains; perhaps some rolls at the bakery left over from the day before that would be all right for toast. The man’s voice had been aggressive and she had instinctively ducked out of sight in case he tried to look through the window. Most people would have given up after a minute, assuming nobody was in, but this man had just kept on, then shouted, ‘I know you’re in there’ very loudly, enough to annoy the Coynes upstairs.
Mrs Coyne had come to the window. ‘What’s all the bleedin’ fuss about?’ she had demanded.
‘Where’s your neighbour?’ the man had shouted back.
‘How the hell should I know? I’m not her bleedin’ keeper, am I?’
There had been the sounds of shuffling feet as the man had indeed gone to peer through the window. Kathleen had crouched, trembling, against the wall beside the bed, praying the noise wouldn’t wake Brian.
‘Well, you tell her next time you see her that she’s behind with the rent and the landlord won’t stand for it. She’s got a week to make up the shortfall or she’s out,’ the man roared up at Mrs Coyne.
‘Tell her yerself, I ain’t doin’ your dirty work.’ She had slammed the window.
Kathleen had sent up a prayer of thanks. Usually the Coynes were the first to complain if she made too much noise or left baby clothes dripping for too long outside, but they didn’t like the landlord any more than she did.
A minute or so later, an envelope fluttered through her letterbox, addressed to her in an angry scrawl. Then there had been the sound of retreating footsteps. She had waited a further ten minutes before she felt safe to move to retrieve it. With shaking hands she tore it open, to find what she had feared: a demand to pay her rent arrears in full by this time next week or she’d be evicted. She had no way to find that amount of money. She could barely afford stale bread.
Dismayed, she’d forced herself up and made a cup of weak tea before collapsing at the little table. She knew she had to think, to plan, but no ideas came. Short of a miracle, or Ray sending some money, which was even more unlikely, she was done for.
She had no idea how long she had sat there like that, when there came another tap at the door, this time followed by a familiar voice, a friendly one.
‘Kath, you in?’
Kathleen sighed in relief and went to open the door. It was her old school friend, Billy Reilly. He worked down at the docks and occasionally did early or late shifts so he was free in the daytime. Now and again he would drop by, just for old times’ sake. She always loved to see him as he seemed to know what to say to cheer her up.
‘All right, Kath? How’s the nipper?’ Billy came in and then took in the expression on her face. ‘Kath, what’s up? You look like you seen a ghost.’
Kathleen hurriedly shoved the envelope in her patch pocket and ran her other hand through her hair, trying to appear normal. ‘Nothing, Billy. Nothing at all. How are you? Care for a cuppa?’ She spoke as brightly as she could. There was no way on this earth that she would admit to anyone how much money she owed. She went through to the tiny back kitchen to boil the kettle, gritting her teeth with the effort of not showing her despair.
Billy had always been kind to her at school, although they hadn’t known each other very well as he was in the year above her. He’d stayed friends with the Banhams, which meant she saw more of him, and they’d become friendlier. Then she’d met Ray, and everything else had taken second place.
She recalled one incident when she and Ray had been courting for a few months and he’d agreed to go to the pub with her old friends. Afterwards he’d been strangely quiet, his face tight with suppressed emotion. Finally she could bear it no more and asked what was wrong.
‘What’s the story between you and Billy?’ he had demanded.
She’d been taken totally by surprise. ‘Nothing. There’s no story. We was at school together, just like the rest of them.’
Ray had huffed in disbelief. ‘I don’t like the way he looks at you. You been leading him on or something?’
‘What? Billy? He’s a mate, nothing more,’ she had protested, sensing a side to Ray she hadn’t seen before. She’d known he could be very protective. But she hadn’t realised he could be jealous.
‘You make sure that’s all it is,’ he had snarled, gripping her arm and lowering his face close to hers, and for a moment she thought he was going to turn on her. Then he had smiled his usual charming smile and the dark moment passed. ‘There’s only one man for you, Kath, and that’s me. You don’t need no other,’ he had said, slinging his arm around her shoulder, and she had looked up at him and smiled back in delight, because she believed he would look after her and love her.
She shook her head. That had been a long time ago now.
The familiar ritual of making a pot of tea had calmed her, and by the time she’d brought it through to Billy, her hands were steady again.
He’d stayed for a while to make small talk, producing a little rattle he’d picked up ‘for next to nothing’ and waving it at a now fully awake Brian, who had waved his arms back. Kathleen had beamed in pleasure, watching another stage of her baby learning how to reach for an object, loving his big smile.
‘Heard from Ray recently?’ Billy had asked.
Kathleen shook her head. ‘It’s been a while. He’ll be in the middle of the Atlantic, he can’t always be sending letters home.’ It was what she always said to others; what she told herself. Working on board a ship wasn’t like any other job. There were bound to be long periods when he was out of contact.
‘Kath, don’t take this the wrong way,’ Billy had said, frowning a little so that the freckles on his nose stood out more than usual against his pale skin, ‘but I had a bit of a win on the gee-gees at the weekend. If he is stuck out on the high seas and can’t send money back, I’ll lend you some.’
‘Billy, no. There’s no need,’ she said at once.
He knew her too well though. He pushed back his dark curly hair, tamed with Brylcreem, and glanced downwards in embarrassment but stuck to his guns. ‘It’s a loan, Kath. Not a present. Just a bit to tide you over, till he reaches port. What am I going to do with it? Ma sorts all the food out, and I’m not much of a drinker. If you don’t want it, take it for the nipper. Buy him something nice. Come on, Kath, there’s no harm in it.’
He’d hit her vulnerable spot. She couldn’t resist the idea of making Brian warm and safe. Shutting her eyes briefly, she looked at her old friend. ‘All right, Billy, if you’re sure – and it’s just a loan, I’ll pay you back,’ she said quietly, and he had given her such a smile it was almost as if it was her giving him a loan, not the other way around. She wouldn’t buy anything big for Brian or herself though, this would have to go on the rent and food, and besides, Ray wouldn’t like it if he found out.
The rapping on the door was louder now, snapping Kathleen back out of her reverie and bringing her back to the present. She shuffled to the door. ‘Hang on,’ she hissed. ‘Who is it?’
‘Kathleen!’ The voice was insistent but cheery. ‘Don’t you want to see me?’
Suddenly she was fully alert. There was only one person who spoke like that. Eagerly she turned the key and unlocked the door, its paint flaking as she did so. As swiftly as she could, she tugged the door open.
‘Ray!’
All her doubts about her husband flew from her mind as she took in the sight of him, backlit by the grey summer dawn. He was so tall, so well-built, and his arms were open. She flung herself at him, holding him as tightly as she could, and he hugged her to his broad chest, murmuring into her hair.
They stood there for some moments before a noise came from the rooms upstairs. ‘Come inside, we’d better not wake the neighbours,’ Kathleen said, hurriedly leading him in.
‘What do we care?’ Ray said, clasping her to him once more. ‘Nosy old buggers can just mind their own business. I’ve come to see my wife, I’ve a right to make a bit of noise.’
‘Sit down, take the weight off your feet. Are you tired? Did you come straight from the ship? Oh, Ray, you could have sent me word. Then I’d have got some food in, made a bit of an effort …’
‘Never mind all that,’ said Ray, nuzzling her neck. ‘I come as soon as I could, Kath. You don’t know what it’s like, being away from you all that time. We’ll worry about all the rest later.’
She held him close for a moment longer and then looked up at him. ‘Don’t you want to see Brian? Your son? He’s the spit of you, he is.’
Ray stroked her neck, her shoulders, and his hands moved lower. ‘Oh I do, I’m dying to see him. But later, Kath. First I want to see you. All of you.’ He pulled her towards the unmade bed, his breathing growing heavy.
‘Oh Ray.’ She let herself be edged across the room. ‘As long as we don’t wake him …’
‘We won’t wake him,’ Ray said easily. ‘Don’t you want to show me how you’ve missed me, Kath? I’ve missed you, I don’t mind telling you, and I’ve thought about nothing else. That’s right, you lie down there …’
Kathleen did as he asked and opened herself up to him, torn between her delight at Ray’s sudden arrival and her anxiety about her son. Then her husband was on top of her and she forgot all about everything except having him home again, where he belonged.
Flo was scrubbing her front doorstep when she heard footsteps behind her. She felt caught out, as normally she’d get this chore out of the way earlier in the day, and then nobody passing by could accuse her of not taking care of her house. But the morning had been busy and she’d only now found the time. She hoped it wasn’t one of her more quarrelsome neighbours. Mrs Dennis down the street, for instance. It was all very well for her; she didn’t have three grown children and a grandchild sharing her house. It was easy for her to keep an immaculate home.
Flo shifted around and saw that she had no reason to worry. It was only Kathleen, with little Brian. ‘Hello,’ she called as the young woman approached. ‘Have you come to see Mattie? She’s inside, feeding Gillian.’
‘Hello, yes, thank you.’ Kathleen seemed all of a fluster.
Flo looked at her keenly. ‘Everything all right, Kathleen? Brian’s not took bad again, is he?’
Kathleen beamed in happiness. ‘Oh no, Mrs Banham. No, nothing’s wrong, far from it. You’ll never guess.’
Flo eased herself up to her feet to give her aching knees a rest, shaking her dripping scrubbing brush. ‘What is it? Out with it, you can’t keep a secret round here.’
Kathleen’s face lit up with an inner glow of happiness. ‘It’s Ray, he’s back. He just got back early this morning. I can’t believe it, he didn’t write to warn me or nothing, just got home as soon as he could.’
Flo raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t been the only one to suspect that Ray Berry would never be seen around these parts again. But she had no wish to dampen his young wife’s joy. ‘Well, that’s a turn-up for the books,’ she said instead.
‘Isn’t it? So I thought I’d come and tell Mattie … and maybe ask if she can see to Brian for a few hours.’
Flo nodded understandingly. ‘You’ve got a lot of time to make up for, I can see that. I’m sure she won’t mind, and if not then I’ll look after him, little angel that he is.’ She went over and looked at the little boy’s sleeping face. ‘So he’s finally met his daddy, then?’
‘Oh yes. Ray’s pleased as punch,’ Kathleen said, skirting over the somewhat awkward moment earlier when Ray had woken up, and wanted to make love again just as Brian started crying for his feed. Yet it was only to be expected – Ray wasn’t used to the ways of a small baby. It was perfectly normal for him to be a bit cross. He’d grow to love the baby as much as she did in time. He was as proud as anything, she could see that.
‘Of course he is,’ said Flo. ‘Who wouldn’t be delighted to have a son like this? You take him in to his Auntie Mattie, and while you’re in there help yourself to some scones. I made them fresh earlier. Take a couple for Ray as a welcome home present.’
Kathleen’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh I will. Thank you. He’ll love that.’ She went through the front door, carefully avoiding the step where Flo had just scrubbed. Turning from the hall she could hear the familiar sound of Mattie bickering with one of her brothers. From the measured tone of his replies, it was Joe.
‘… because you always think you know what’s best and you don’t,’ Mattie was complaining as Kathleen walked into the room. ‘Oh, hello, Kath. Didn’t hear you come in.’
‘Your mum was outside so I didn’t have to knock,’ Kathleen explained breathlessly. ‘Mattie, guess what happened this morning. I can’t believe it, I’ve waited so long. Ray’s back, how about that?’
Joe had been taking a sip of his tea and almost sputtered it out. ‘Ray? Your Ray?’
‘Well, of course,’ said Kathleen, affronted. ‘Why say it like that, Joe? I was surprised, I know, but he didn’t have time to send a letter. He just wanted to get back to see me as soon as he could. And Brian, of course.’
‘Of course,’ said Joe. ‘I didn’t mean anything by it, Kath. I was just taken aback, that’s all.’
Mattie rose and put Gillian into the cot. The baby whimpered a little but then settled without a fuss. ‘Yes, where’s he been all this time, Kath? Has he said?’
Kathleen pulled out a wooden chair and sat down opposite Joe, while balancing Brian on her knee. ‘He’s been everywhere! He signed on with a merchant ship like he said he was going to. He’s been mostly going between Canada and Liverpool, on those big ships what bring the timber across. He says it was backbreaking to begin with but you get used to it. Lots of fresh air too. Not like the factories round here, he says. He’s been working ever so hard, all the hours God sends.’
Mattie frowned. ‘So if he’s been in Liverpool, why didn’t he come home? Or at least write more?’
Kathleen shifted in her chair. She’d wondered the same thing, but Ray had put her mind at rest. ‘He never had the time. They dock one day and then they either leave again the next or you’re put on a different ship that’s leaving beforehand. Barely had time to get his land legs, he said. And he hates writing – he never was one for his letters. He’s clever, mind, but he doesn’t write very much. His brains are quicker than his hands, he says.’
Joe took a fresh sip of tea before replying. ‘Right. So that’s all there was to it, then.’
Kathleen frowned. ‘Of course. Don’t be so suspicious, Joe. Just because you’re good with writing everything down and passing exams doesn’t mean everyone’s the same.’
Joe put down his cup and got to his feet. ‘Don’t you start. I’ve had all of that from Mattie today already.’ But he said it with affection.
‘Don’t go on my account …’ Kathleen began.
‘I’m not. I’ve got to get to the library and back before the football starts,’ he said, pushing back his chair and heading for the door. ‘Glad to hear he’s back in one piece, Kath. Maybe I’ll see him down the pub soon.’
‘Maybe.’ Kathleen’s smile faltered a little; she wasn’t sure how long Ray was going to be around for. He’d managed to avoid giving her a direct answer when she’d asked earlier. ‘Bye, Joe.’
Mattie waited until her brother had gone before turning to her friend. ‘Well, go on. Tell me everything. Where is he now?’
‘Home, asleep,’ said Kathleen. ‘Look, I’m here to ask a favour. Could you mind Brian for a bit this afternoon? Just so I can have some time alone with Ray, you know.’
Mattie’s face creased into a broad smile. ‘Oh I know. Or I can guess.’ Then she grew serious once more. ‘Doesn’t Ray want to get to know Brian, though? His own little boy? It broke Lennie’s heart when he had to say goodbye to Gillian after his last leave. He wanted to spend every moment with her.’
‘Oh, Ray’s the same,’ Kathleen said hastily. ‘But Gillian’s so good, she sleeps so well, whereas Brian’s liable to wake up at the least noise. My Ray’s got to get his rest in a proper bed while he can.’
Mattie nodded doubtfully. It was just one more way in which Ray and Lennie were chalk and cheese. She knew which she preferred. Still, Ray wasn’t her husband, and if Kathleen thought it was fine to hand her son over a mere matter of hours after his father finally met him, then it wasn’t her concern. ‘It’s no trouble at all,’ she assured her friend. ‘Just pop him at the opposite end of the cot to Gillian as usual. I’ll be here most of the time and, when I need to go to the market, Ma will see to him.’
‘Or I will,’ said a voice from the doorway. Harry’s silhouette appeared, then he came all the way into the room. ‘Morning, Kath.’
Mattie erupted. ‘Morning! Afternoon, near as. What did you get up to last night that you slept in so late? I had to go down the bicycle shop with Dad because you weren’t up on time. You promised you’d help him when he said he’d fetch their replacement tyres, but you wasn’t around after breakfast. Hope it was worth it, whatever you were doing.’
Both Mattie and Kathleen turned their attention to Harry’s face, which was grinning unashamedly.
‘You were with a girl, weren’t you?’ said Mattie.
‘Might have been.’ He shrugged.
‘Harry Banham, you sly thing, you were. Who was it? Anyone we know?’ Kathleen was on to him at once.
‘Not telling you. Look at the pair of you, why would I tell you anything? You’ll rip whatever I say into pieces.’ He made his way to the breadbin. ‘Any chance of toast?’