by Annie Groves
Alice patted her shoulder, trying to comfort her, but it was no use.
‘They’ll all be in such danger!’ she wailed. ‘Charles is so brave, he’s bound to head straight into the worst of it, and then what will I do?’
‘You’ll manage, we all will,’ said Edith, keeping her voice steady but feeling slightly put out. Mary had barely met Charles, and certainly hadn’t got as far as meeting his family. She herself was entitled to give way to despair far more because she would soon be separated from Harry, but she had no intention of doing so – not in front of anyone anyway.
‘Will we?’ Mary gulped, her eyes red from crying. Her tears had splashed down the front of her good silk blouse and made a random pattern.
‘Of course,’ said Edith stoutly. ‘It’s what we’ve been trained to do. We can have a good cry up here amongst ourselves but we can’t show despair to anyone else, all right? And above all not to Charles.’
‘Or Harry,’ said Mary, belatedly remembering where Edith and Alice had been all day.
‘Exactly,’ said Alice, sensing that brisk decisiveness would be of more use than joining in with the weeping and wailing. ‘We’ll be needed more than ever and we have to show a united front. That’s what’s expected of us. We’re not silly girls, to go giving in to moments of despair. We’ve got to show a bit of backbone.’
‘Right.’ Mary gulped again and reached for her handkerchief. ‘Yes, I do see that. It’s just such a shock. I never thought it would come to this, I was so sure the government would come up with a way of keeping the peace.’
Alice shook her head sadly. ‘It’s gone too far for that, Mary. You must see that there really wasn’t much choice after what Hitler’s done. Now we have to make sure we’re ready. Have you got your blind sorted out?’ She glanced towards the attic window, through which the sunset could be seen.
‘N … not yet,’ Mary admitted. ‘I’m useless at sewing. Never could thread a needle.’
‘Blimey, Mary, how do you ever manage with syringes for your diabetic patients?’ Edith wondered.
Mary tilted her head. ‘Well, that’s different. I can do that, of course. But sewing … no, never could get the hang of it.’
‘We’ll help,’ Alice told her. ‘We don’t want the local ARP warden coming round and getting us into trouble.’
‘Specially as it’s quite likely to be Harry’s dad,’ Edith cut in, eyes dancing.
Alice found she couldn’t sleep, despite encouraging Mary to keep her spirits up and not give way to despair. She was restless, beset by thoughts of what could happen. She’d enjoyed the day so much, and was impressed by the courage of Harry and Joe. She hoped she’d see him before he left; he’d offered her the library subscription, after all. Wearily she gave up the hope of easy sleep and made her way downstairs for a late cup of cocoa.
There was a light on in the service room – somebody else was having trouble sleeping, not surprisingly. Alice started when she saw who it was.
‘Gladys,’ she said. ‘Are you all right?’ When she came to think about it, she hadn’t even realised the young woman slept on the premises. She’d formed the impression she arrived early and left late to return to somewhere nearby, as they all knew Cook did.
Gladys jumped and nearly dropped the cup she was holding.
‘Oh, Miss … sorry … It’s just that I wasn’t expecting to see nobody.’
‘That’s quite all right. Here, let me wipe that,’ Alice offered. ‘Couldn’t you sleep either?’
Gladys set down the cup containing what remained of her Ovaltine and hung her head. ‘I couldn’t, Miss. Me thoughts keep goin’ round and round.’
‘No wonder.’ Alice turned to her cupboard and lifted out the cocoa powder and sugar. ‘We’re all going to be a bit like that for a while, I expect. It’s a big change, even though we’ve been preparing for it for so long.’
Gladys nodded and bit her lip. She looked as if she couldn’t decide what to say next. Then she took a deep breath and her words all came rushing out at once.
‘Tisn’t that, Miss. Or it is, but not exactly. See, I been thinking. I loves it here, I really do, it’s like me ’ome.’
Alice nodded, trying to work out what was at the root of the young woman’s agitation.
‘I love bein’ with you and the others, and hearin’ all the stories about what you do when you’re on the district.’ Gladys rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache coming on. ‘I learn heaps when you all talk to each other, I do. I know how to dress a wound, and what to look for when a baby gets sick, and old people what get pneumonia and everything.’ Her face grew determined. ‘You know what, Miss? I want to be a nurse too. There, I’ve said it.’
Alice’s eyes widened but she nodded. ‘Well, that’s a good thing, Gladys. I expect the country will need many more nurses in the times to come.’
Gladys reddened. ‘But I can’t, Miss. I just can’t.’
Alice stirred the cocoa powder and added some sugar with a little milk before pouring on the hot water she’d been boiling while they spoke. ‘Is it because of your family, Gladys? I won’t repeat it if you’d like to tell me.’
‘No, Miss. Or yes, sort of.’ Gladys groaned. ‘See, when I was younger, me ma had so many kids that she couldn’t look after them all and I was the eldest so I stayed home and fed them. So I never went to school much.’ Her expression turned to one of great shame. ‘Miss, I can’t read.’
Alice had to take a moment to rein in her shock. Even though she knew plenty of people couldn’t complete their schooling, and Gladys’s situation was not unusual, it still came as a surprise to her. She had been raised to respect education and to stay at school for as long as she was able, and everyone she knew had done the same. Edith was the only person she was close to who had had to fight to stay on and study in the face of family opposition.
‘Well, that’s a pity,’ she managed, realising what it must have taken for Gladys to admit such a thing.
‘Yes, I wish I could, cos I know I’m missing out,’ Gladys went on, unstoppable now the floodgates had opened. ‘I ain’t stupid, I know that, even though teachers said I was when I was little cos I didn’t go to class very often. I can remember things. Then I heard on the wireless about the, the … Civil Nursing Reserve, that was it. Where you’re like an extra and don’t have to stop working or go away to study or nothing.’
Alice nodded in sympathy. ‘But you still have to study. You need to go to a course of lectures, for a start.’
Gladys hung her head. ‘That’s just it, Miss. I could go, and having heard all you nurses talking about it I’m sure I’d remember. But I couldn’t write down what they told me or nothing. I’d never be able to study at home or do an exam.’
Alice nodded slowly. She had never really thought about how much her job relied upon being able to read and write; it was something she had always taken for granted. ‘We always have to write accurate reports after every visit,’ she said, half to herself. ‘We have to leave notes for the doctor, or take written instructions from him. We have to be able to read the packets, and catch up with the latest news in our magazines.’
‘That’s just it, Miss!’ Gladys cried. ‘There are so many things I can’t do, and yet I know I’d be good at it, I know it!’ She buried her head in her hands and her shoulders shook as she wept in frustration.
For the second time that evening Alice found herself comforting someone. She recognised the best thing to do was to wait for Gladys to let it all out. She sensed the younger woman had been holding this in for a long time and the announcement of war had brought it to a head. Slowly, as she rubbed Gladys’s shoulders, a plan formed in her mind.
Finally Gladys grew calmer.
‘Here, why don’t I make you some cocoa,’ Alice offered. ‘I’m going to have a bit more.’ Her first cup was now cold, only half finished.
‘Thanks, Miss.’ Gladys gave a final sniff.
Alice busied herself with the preparation of the comforting drink as
she worked out exactly what to say. She didn’t want to hurt the young woman’s pride, but then again, she reasoned, Gladys had trusted her enough to confide her shameful secret. So she had to say something more than ‘there, there’.
‘Here you are.’ She pushed a cupful across the wooden counter. ‘You’ll feel better after that, everyone does.’
‘Thanks, Miss,’ Gladys said again.
Alice took a deep breath, wondering what she was letting herself in for. She didn’t want to promise something that she couldn’t complete, and yet she could not walk away and do nothing. ‘I could help you, you know,’ she said.
The other woman’s head went up, her eyes ablaze. ‘Really?’
Alice nodded. ‘I mean, I’m not a trained teacher or anything, but I’ve spent the last term going into a school. While I was waiting to take my turn at speaking to the children, I could see how the real teachers went about helping the pupils to learn to read.’
‘Gosh, Miss.’ Gladys’s eyes were on her now.
‘I can’t guarantee it, but I could ask one of the teachers who’s my friend if she could lend me a textbook,’ Alice went on, the plan forming in her mind as she spoke. ‘Look, why don’t we sit down tomorrow after I’ve finished my rounds and I can see how much you remember, then I can ask her for the right sort of book. Are you free then?’
Gladys nodded vigorously. ‘I will be, Miss. I got to make tea for everyone but then I can stay after, cos I worked late tonight. I’d be ever so grateful.’
‘Are you walking home now?’ Alice asked, suddenly alarmed, aware how dark it was and how late.
Gladys looked sheepish. ‘No, Miss. When I’m here this late I kips down in the basement. Where you’re going to have your refuge room. Fiona knows but she said not to tell, as it’s not really allowed. But otherwise I can’t do me work.’
Alice gasped, realising the extent of Gladys’s dedication, and how little they all knew about this daily presence in their lives. ‘Well, that shows your commitment,’ she said. ‘Good. What we’ll do is have a cup of tea together tomorrow and begin then. Oh, and Gladys.’ She paused.
‘Yes, Miss?’
‘You’ve got to stop calling me Miss. Call me Alice.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
‘Come on, Joe, you can dig faster than that.’ Stan stood with his hands on his hips, observing his two sons. He was fiercely proud of them, both in the way they had matured as young men and because they had immediately signed up for the conflict that was to come. That didn’t mean he had to be soft on them though. ‘We’ve got to get this done before you go.’
Joe stepped out of the trench that he’d dug in what he thought was double-quick time and came to stand beside his father, taking a breather. He wiped his brow with the back of his forearm. ‘Only if I have another cup of tea,’ he hinted. ‘And some of Ma’s Bakewell tart. Then I’d be even faster.’
‘You’ll get your reward at elevenses, same as the rest of us,’ Stan told him. ‘Otherwise it will be unfair on Harry. Won’t it, son?’
Harry was making such a clatter dragging the corrugated sheets that he hadn’t heard a word of the exchange. ‘What’s that?’ he asked, coming to a halt. Stan repeated what had been said.
‘Sooner I’m finished the better,’ Harry said. ‘I’ve got to look my best for this evening.’
Joe nodded in acknowledgement. ‘Can’t keep Edith waiting, especially as it might be the last time you see her for a while.’
Harry had received his notification and had to report to a base in Northwest London on Friday, prior to being trained somewhere as yet unspecified. But it was unlikely he’d be anywhere within easy reach of the nurses’ home, so evenings out with Edith would have to be shelved after tonight.
‘I want her to remember me as my handsome self, not covered in sweat and grime like this,’ Harry told his brother, looking down in dismay at the state of his old work shirt.
Stan snorted. ‘You’re going to have to get used to a bit of dirt wherever you’re going, my lad. The army won’t think twice about asking you to get covered in mud.’
Harry shrugged. In a way he was quite looking forward to it. He was certain he was in better physical condition than anyone else he’d be training alongside, and then there was the promise of boxing to keep him at peak fitness. He had no doubts that he would excel at whatever was asked of him.
Two hours later and the shelter was close to being finished, in no small way thanks to the extra fuel from Flo’s tart, banana bread and several fruit scones. Harry was just about to ask when it would be time for dinner when there was a squeal from inside the house, floating shrilly through the open back kitchen window.
‘Lennie! It’s Lennie!’
Harry, Joe and Stan looked at each other and, as one, wiped their hands and faces and strode inside.
The kitchen was dim compared to the brightness of the garden, but there was no mistaking the man who had just walked in – also because Mattie was hugging him tightly, face revealing her delight and surprise. ‘Look who it is! And he never said nothing!’
Lennie gently broke free from his wife’s embrace and shook hands with his two brothers-in-law and father-in-law. ‘Just got back from me latest training and they give us four days’ leave. Four days! So I didn’t hang around, I was on that train fast as you could say knife.’ He beamed.
Lennie was shorter than Joe, Harry or Stan, and stouter, for all his army training. His face was round and his hair cut short, but his eyes were sparkling and bright green-grey. He’d always had a kind expression but now he was the picture of happiness, the hero returning to his family. ‘Where is she?’ he asked, his gaze raking the room. ‘Where’s my little star? Where’s Gilly?’
‘Ma took her upstairs for a nap,’ Mattie said, patting her hair, which had come even looser than usual and was now falling all about her shoulders. ‘I’ll just fetch her.’
‘You stay here with Lennie, I’ll go,’ said Harry, disappearing out of the kitchen door, knowing his sister wouldn’t want to let her sorely missed husband out of her sight for one precious minute.
‘Don’t get her muddy from your filthy shirt,’ Mattie called after him, but really she didn’t mind a bit. What was a spot of dirt compared to the thrill of having Lennie home again? ‘Honestly, he dotes on that girl, and on Kath’s baby too,’ she said, shaking her head in mock-despair, but enjoying her child’s popularity.
Lennie took a moment to look around the familiar room, observing the small differences that had appeared since he’d last been home, way back at the end of spring. The most obvious one was the big blackout blind, rolled up at the window. He nodded in approval. He might have known Stan and Flo would ensure everyone would be safe in their home.
Joe inclined his head towards the garden. ‘You’re just in time to see our handiwork. One Anderson shelter, exactly as prescribed.’
Lennie looked out. ‘Is that going to hold you all?’ he asked dubiously.
Joe shook his head. ‘We won’t all be here. Harry leaves the day after tomorrow, and I expect to get my details next week. I’m heading for the navy, he’s going into the army.’
‘Good man,’ said Lennie approvingly. ‘I can give him some tips, tell him what’s what.’
‘Tell who?’ said Harry teasingly, reappearing with the little girl in his arms. ‘Here she is, Lennie.’
‘Careful, you’ll find she’s a bit bigger than when you last saw her,’ fussed Mattie as Harry passed his niece over to her cooing father.
‘Oh, hasn’t she grown!’ Lennie’s face was a picture as he held his beloved daughter, who was still half asleep. However, since she was used to being passed around to different adults, all of whom showered her with affection, she didn’t consider it worth stirring to protest.
Lennie gazed at the child with pride, hardly able to believe that this was the little baby he’d last seen only a matter of months ago but who had now doubled in size.
‘She can sit up, she’s starting to crawl and pu
ll herself up and she gets into everything,’ Mattie warned him. ‘She’ll try to talk too but so far she just makes nonsense noises. It’s so funny. When we put her and Brian on the rug together they carry on a conversation of burps and giggles. We used to put them one at each end of the cot, but they don’t fit no more.’
Stan cast his eyes to the sky outside and cleared his throat. ‘Joe, Harry, just another hour will do it but I reckon it’s coming on to rain. As Lennie will be here for a few days – you will, won’t you, son? – can I have just a bit more of your time and we’ll get that shelter finished.’ He didn’t wait for their agreement but headed outside, followed by his two sons.
Mattie and Lennie sank onto the sofa, arms around each other, encircling Gillian.
‘Oh Lennie, I’m so glad you’re back,’ she breathed. ‘I was worried you’d be sent away without me seeing you again. I couldn’t have borne that.’ She rested her head on his shoulder.
‘As if I could go without seeing you.’ He stroked her back. ‘I got your last letter, you know, just as I was closing my kitbag. Almost made me blub, it did. You two are the most precious things in the world, you know that.’
‘And you’re the most precious people to me too,’ said Mattie, holding back tears of joy mixed with relief. ‘I know you’re going to go away to fight again, Lennie, and I know you’re properly trained and good at it, but I needed to see you, just to know you’re real.’
‘Course I am. But I know what you mean.’ Lennie sighed. ‘Look, I’m sure you’ve discussed this with your ma, but do you think you should be here – in London, I mean? Haven’t most of the kiddies been evacuated?’