by Val Wood
‘That’s just it,’Jewel broke in. ‘I can’t. Mama has asked me not to write of the news to anyone back in England – not that I would; or to speak of it, except to you of course. She’ll write to your mother herself in a week or two. I suppose she wants to get used to the idea first,’ she said, with a watery smile. ‘So what will I say to Renzo when I tell him we’re leaving?’
Clara contemplated. ‘I have just now told Federico Cavalli that I’m going home soon, so if he sees Lorenzo first he’s sure to tell him.’
Jewel slipped off the bed. ‘Then I must go and speak to him immediately. Will you come with me, Clara? I shall think of some reason to explain why we are going.’
Perhaps Lorenzo might be galvanized into action when he learns Jewel is leaving, Clara thought. But it is too soon for her to make a lifetime’s decision. How goes the old saying – marry in haste, repent at leisure?
When they arrived at the restaurant in the early evening, Lorenzo was singing as he set the tables, and from the kitchen they could hear Maria joining in.
‘How he loves to sing,’ Jewel whispered to Clara. ‘It reminds me of something.’
‘What?’ Clara asked, but Jewel didn’t answer as Lorenzo came towards them, his hands outstretched to them both in greeting but his eyes only for Jewel.
‘You’ve come at last!’ he cried. ‘I’ve missed you – both. Where have you been?’
‘Sightseeing,’ Clara answered for them. ‘Seeing the city.’
His eyebrows rose in query.
‘With Larkin and Dolly,’ Jewel said.
‘Ah.’ He smiled. ‘I see.’ He gazed at her and said, ‘Madre was asking when you might move into the house next door.’ He saw Jewel’s hesitation. ‘You will come to live there, won’t you?’
He looked from Jewel to Clara and it was as if he was suddenly struck by the possibility that perhaps she wouldn’t, that neither of them would stay, and the idea was totally appalling to him.
Pinyin came through from the kitchen and his face lit up in a beam of delight. ‘Miss Jewel, Miss Clara. Very good to see you! Miss Jewel, my sister would like to come and talk to you. Would that be possible?’
‘Yes, that would be lovely,’Jewel said. ‘When?’
‘Tomorrow. Chen will bring her. It is his day off. He works at a restaurant in Chinatown.’
They agreed on a time and Pinyin went back to the kitchen. Lorenzo then suggested that maybe they should open the house next door and light a fire and make it cosy. Clara was sure that he was suggesting it so that Jewel would become used to the idea that the house was hers. But when Jewel took him to one side to tell him that they would shortly be leaving for Dreumel’s Creek, Clara saw his face drop and his hands catch hold of Jewel’s as if in earnest supplication, and realized that his intentions were real and trustworthy.
‘Why?’ he asked Jewel. ‘Why now?’
‘Not immediately,’ she responded. ‘Perhaps in a week or two. I’m sorry,’ she said miserably. ‘I’ll come back just as soon as I can.’
‘But how long will you be away?’ His expression was anguished as she shook her head. ‘I shall miss you, Jewel.’
‘And I shall miss you too, Renzo.’
The use of his childhood name seemed to convince him that she really was going, and yet still he pressed for the reason why, which she couldn’t give, except to say that her parents were in Dreumel’s Creek and she was needed there.
‘And I need you here,’ he groaned. ‘Yet we have only just met. You don’t know me. We are almost strangers. We need more time to get to know one another again.’
‘I don’t,’ Jewel said, and saw his sudden smile.
The next day Maria lit a fire in the house next door. Although the weather wasn’t cold, it was foggy, and the fire in the hearth gave the house a welcoming atmosphere. When Chen arrived with Soong Daiyu, it was here that they came. Jewel had plumped up cushions and tied back the beaded curtain and Maria had brought a kettle, a teapot, tea and china cups and saucers so that she could make refreshments for her guests.
Soong Daiyu gave a low bow from the waist. ‘I bring you gift,’ she said, and handed Jewel a parcel wrapped in soft paper decorated with Chinese lettering.
Jewel unwrapped the parcel and found inside a red silk brocade cheongsam and matching slippers. The svelte fitted dress was sleeveless and had a mandarin collar and slits at each side of the skirt. Also in the parcel were several silver and jade bracelets, two of which were for Clara, and a silk flower for Jewel’s hair.
‘How beautiful,’ Jewel whispered, and impulsively kissed Soong Daiyu’s cheek.
Soong Daiyu clasped her fingers together, obviously quite overcome by the gesture, and murmured something Jewel couldn’t understand. Chen was hovering by the door and Jewel turned to him questioningly.
‘My mother says: now you are real Chinese daughter.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
They were persuaded to stay another month. It seemed churlish to refuse, and an opportunity not to be missed, when Larkin offered to show them more of California and took them on a trip to the tree-lined city of Sacramento.
Sacramento had been a trading colony on the Sacramento river when gold was discovered by John Marshall at Sutter’s Mill in nearby Coloma and the city was inundated by miners. In spite of being half drowned by floods twenty years before, it had now grown into a city of fine buildings with parks and riverside walks.
They travelled on to meet and stay with Jed and his family at his farm; then they rode towards the Sierra Nevada mountains, where Larkin told them more of his travels with Jewel’s father and how they had been trapped in the winter snow.
The trail up to the high passes was more defined now but still rutted and difficult. The air was fresh and sharp and they looked down from jagged rocks into the green valleys and sparkling lakes below; the Colorado river glinted in the far distance and they imagined how hard it had been for those travelling on foot or by waggon.
They stayed one night in a small mountain hostelry lit by lamplight and roaring pinewood fires and the following morning, with one last look down the mountain, they set off on their return to San Francisco. Then Jewel and Clara made ready to depart.
Jewel had tried on the cheongsam and it fitted perfectly. She wrapped it up again in the soft paper and put it carefully in a cupboard in her house. ‘So that you know that I will return,’ she said to both Soong Daiyu and Pinyin. ‘But I must go to see my English mother.’
‘I think she needs you,’ Pinyin said, and Jewel didn’t know if it was a question or a statement, but she answered, ‘Yes.’
Soong Daiyu clasped her hands and spoke, and Pinyin translated. ‘Soong Daiyu says that you are right to go, and that she knows you will return. She says that to forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.’
‘I won’t forget you, ever,’ Jewel said softly. ‘And I will return. The winter is long and hard where I am going, but come spring or early summer I’ll be back.’
She said the same to Lorenzo and his mother, and Maria said, ‘So long? My son will be unhappy.’
Jewel whispered, ‘And so will I.’
‘Your madre is sick, yes?’ Maria asked and when Jewel hesitated, she raised her head and opened her eyes and mouth wide and breathed out, ‘Aah!’
Federico came to the restaurant on the day before they were due to depart. ‘I must speak to you, Clara.’ He looked pale and ill. ‘Please don’t go away.’
‘I must,’ she said. ‘Everything is arranged.’
‘Then cancel!’ he said urgently. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been a fool. Please believe that I don’t usually behave in this way. My intentions are sincere. Ask anyone.’ He grasped her hands. ‘I can give you so much. Wealth, your own carriage, anything that you desire.’
Clara eased from his grasp. ‘But I don’t need any of those things,’ she said calmly. ‘And you haven’t mentioned love.’
He shrugged. ‘That goes without saying.
You are beautiful. I shall be the envy of all men with you on my arm.’
She turned away. Another possession, she thought, something else to boast about. ‘I’m sorry, Federico, I am already committed. And as I told you before, I’m going home to England.’
He was angry and yet his tone was icy cold as he spoke. Again she had the feeling that he wasn’t used to being crossed. ‘On our first meeting I was given the distinct impression that you were inclined to be more than friendly. Is this the way English women normally behave?’
Clara drew in a breath of astonishment. Had she? By approaching his table that first day at Lorenzo’s had she indicated something more than mere sociability? She wouldn’t have been so forward in England with an unknown man, but had assumed, wrongly it now seemed, that amiability was allowed here between unmarried men and women.
‘I’m sorry if I unwittingly gave you the wrong impression,’ she told him. ‘You are a friend of Lorenzo’s and I did not think that a little banter and conversation would be considered to be more than conviviality.’ Her voice was now as cold as his, though she was hot and furious inside, not just with him but with herself for being so foolish as to trust him. ‘I beg your pardon for my mistake.’
He stormed out, not speaking or acknowledging anyone. Maria shook her head and then, catching Clara’s eye, pointed her finger to her forehead, indicating an unhinged disposition. She came over.
‘Don’t be concerned about him,’ she whispered. ‘Federico has set his own path. No one can move him from it.’
Clara swallowed down her fury. She was sure that Maria was right, but she felt both sad and furious about Federico. But it’s my fault too, she realized. I had thought that here in this new country men and women could be equal. And perhaps they can, but not with Federico. Charming as he can be, he’ll always want to be master. He is so assured of his own importance. Could I ever love him? Thoughts of home flitted through her head and she knew that she couldn’t. That very morning she had received a letter from her sister, Elizabeth, with news which made her even more determined to return.
Lorenzo and Maria, Soong Daiyu, Pinyin, Chen and two of his sisters came to the railroad station to see them depart, but not Federico, and Clara didn’t know whether to be glad or sorry. Lorenzo was steeped in gloom and seemed to be on the brink of tears.
‘I can’t bear to lose you again, Jewel,’ he whispered to her. ‘I’m bereft. My heart is breaking.’
‘Please don’t say anything more,’ she pleaded. ‘I must go. If I leave it too late I should never forgive myself.’
He nodded. ‘The weather; I know. I wouldn’t want you to be in any danger. The rail journey is hazardous in winter.’
‘Not the weather,’ she said. ‘Although the valley becomes closed in winter.’
‘Then wait here until spring,’ he said urgently, clutching her hand. ‘It’s not too late to change your mind.’
She gently squeezed his hand. ‘And what of Clara? She wants to go home to England. She misses her family. This is the first stage of her journey. Besides, I have written to my parents to say that we are coming.’
He swallowed. ‘Then I must be patient, but I don’t know how.’ He gazed at her. ‘Is there someone else you care for who makes you rush back, apart from your mama and papa, I mean? Someone else?’
‘No.’ She smiled. ‘No one.’
There came a sudden screech of steam and they all jumped. Clara moved towards the carriage. Chen carried their hand baggage, packed with everything they would need for the week-long journey. Pinyin carried a box of food: tea, bread, biscuits and cake which Maria had baked early that morning; ham and smoked sausage to supplement the food they could buy at the station houses. She had also provided knives, forks and spoons and snowy-white table napkins.
Clara kissed Maria, offered her hand to Chen and Pinyin, and climbed the high steps on to the train. Lorenzo was still holding Jewel’s hand, unwilling it seemed to let her go.
‘I’ll write,’ she said softly. ‘Don’t forget me.’
‘Never,’ he said, pressing her fingers to his lips. ‘And not a song will pass my lips until you come back. Not a single note. There’s a Chinese proverb—’
‘Yes,’ she said, taking a sudden deep breath, recalling Sun Wa’s phrase. ‘I know it. A bird does not sing—’
‘Because it has an answer,’ he finished for her. ‘It sings because it has a song. I have no song now. Nor will I have till you return.’
‘Jewel!’ Clara called urgently. ‘Come quickly! We’re getting under way.’
Jewel saw the head of steam from the engine and the guard waving his flag. ‘But I have an answer,’ she told Lorenzo, and drew her hand from his and touched her lips. ‘All I’m waiting for is the question.’
There were fewer passengers on the return journey and they had a car to themselves, although they joined others in the minuscule kitchen when they went to make tea or coffee or to prepare a meal. They were both quieter and introspective, lost in thought, Jewel more so than Clara.
‘I have something to tell you,’ Clara said to Jewel as they climbed into their cots on their first night. ‘I’ve received a letter from Elizabeth. She’s expecting a child. She thinks it’s due in January.’Jewel heard the joy in her voice. ‘I’m going to be an aunt!’
It was Jewel’s turn to be thrilled. ‘How lovely! I hope she’ll be all right and doesn’t suffer too much pain. That’s what worries me about Mama, whether or not she can bear the agony of childbirth.’
‘They can have chloroform if it gets really bad,’ Clara said practically. ‘Or ether. I’d really like to be home in time for the birth, Jewel. Will you mind terribly if I leave for home soon after we arrive in Dreumel?’
Jewel sat up and leaned on her elbow, and Clara saw her pale face and dark eyes framed by her loose silky black hair by the dim light of the lantern.
‘Of course not. I understand perfectly. It’s such an important time and Elizabeth will want you to be there.’ She leaned back on her pillow. ‘I wonder what it’s like, having another being growing inside your body. And how difficult must it be to be totally confined to the house during pregnancy! Some say the woman must remain completely secluded.’
‘Not all women do,’ Clara murmured. ‘Some women, who have to work for a living, stay working right up to the day the child is delivered. It’s not healthy, of course,’ she added, turning over on to her side. ‘But then neither is staying in bed for the whole time, for that makes the mother weak.’ Her voice grew sleepy. ‘But both Aunt Gianna and Elizabeth will have doctors and midwives in attendance and will be guided by them.’
During the night Jewel woke. She lay for a while listening to the clang and clank of the wheels, the snorts and hiss of the engine, the rattle of the windows and the strident snores of someone further down the corridor.
‘Clara,’ she whispered, ‘are you awake?’
There was no answer, but Clara turned over with a mutter.
‘I just wondered if you’ve missed Thomas whilst we’ve been away.’
‘Mm,’ Clara murmured. ‘Yes.’ She turned over again. ‘I have.’
‘Will you be all right travelling home alone?’
Clara considered for so long that Jewel thought she had fallen asleep again. ‘I will,’ she answered at last. ‘There’s no other option. Unless some other person decides to travel home again too.’
‘Yes,’ Jewel said. ‘That’s what I was thinking about.’
The thought of Dan was causing her considerable disquiet. Had he really travelled all this way because of her, or because he had decided to break free from the constraints of home? If he has come because of me I must tell him straight away that I could never love him enough to marry him; I know now that I can only ever care for him as a friend. She felt a pleasurable warmth steal over her. I have only just rediscovered Lorenzo, but I know – I feel sure – that what I feel for him is love.
The train was cold and both declared that it was as well they ha
d decided to travel now rather than later. They wrapped up in shawls and scarves, warm stockings and gloves. The weather outside was dreary, with only an occasional shaft of sunshine breaking through the grey cloud. After two days they reached Ogden in the pouring rain and waited in the chilly station rest room to begin the next stage of their journey, remarking on the difference in temperature from when they had been there previously. When they were on the move again they read books until both complained of headaches. They missed the camaraderie of other passengers and although the view from the windows was still spectacular, they were both busy with their own thoughts and didn’t appreciate it as they had done on the journey in the other direction when everything was fresh and new and exciting.
‘It was such fun travelling out, wasn’t it?’ Jewel said softly. ‘So thrilling to be going alone on an adventure and not knowing what was in front of us. And now, although I am really looking forward to seeing Mama and Papa again, I am also rather sad.’
Clara nodded. ‘I know; but you’re sad because of the people you are leaving behind. And have you thought, Jewel, that if Lorenzo should propose and you should accept – that’s always supposing that you care enough for him – then you would undertake the outward journey again, and perhaps not go back to England?’
‘I’m torn, Clara,’Jewel said miserably. ‘I do care for Lorenzo and can’t bear to think that I shan’t see him again. Yet I feel bound to Mama, especially now, and although I’m sure she will stay in Dreumel to have the baby – she surely won’t travel – they might decide to return to England afterwards.’ She swallowed hard. ‘And then I won’t know what to do.’
Clara smiled. ‘I think you will, Jewel. I know you will.’
The following day the journey was slow, with the train stopping from time to time for no apparent reason. Then the porter came along and, apologizing profusely, told them that they must stop at the next station to change the engine.
‘You may stay aboard if you wish, ladies, but you might find it more comfortable in the station house. The weather’s not good but at least there’ll be a fire.’