by Unknown
My steps halt when I reach the place. The pack has gathered here a while ago. I'm one of the last to come to meet Her and he doesn't like that.
Eyes skipping my way, I can see the displeasure in them as they focus on me. What is he thinking? What does he want from me? Why is it so important for him that I change?
He doesn't need to tell me any of it. An Alpha does not explain himself.
Coming in the middle of the clearing, the rest of the juveniles are shifting away, feet moving several inches from me so they are still standing where they are supposed to but isolating me as well. This is what it means to be different in this pack now. It's not to be accepted or understood but cast out.
They are isolating me like I'm the one wearing an illness in a world that's healthy - right. I am wrong. My very existence is.
Forced to meet Her again on that night, I won't be the one shifting when the first rays of moonshine hit the earth. Like the seed that never takes roots, I'll be the one to stay the same, stand on my human feet just like I'm doing now.
Feet will not morphe into paws. Fur will not grow over my skin. A wolf will not emerge from inside the human.
Some of them are staring at me, not obviously like they would out of Alpha's notice but subtle. Like predators watching their prey before they come out of their hiding. I can feel their probes heating up my skin where they linger but I don't know who they are until they show themselves to me, just like that prey that sees the face of death at the last moment of life.
Several pack warriors are watching from close by, not too close to disturb any shift that will eventually happen but close enough to interfere if the new wolf goes berserk and starts attacking packmates.
Alpha and the rest of the pack are standing a few steps away from us too, on the opposite side of where his warriors are. Beta Hayden is on his right while his third-in-command, Jason, occupies the left side of Alpha.
Looking up, birds are coming home for the night, nestling on the branches of the trees surrounding the barren land we stand on. Above, the sky is slowly turning darker, dusk swallowing the last rays of sun.
Several minutes are left before it begins, the tension rising with each second that flies by us.
I flick my eyes in his direction, watching him for a long time before he notices my attention. Observing him has turned into a habit for me, studying, seeking his truths and reasons.
Two years later, I can't find any.
Alpha flashes me a smirk as if to say, 'I defeated you, girl,' and points his hand upwards. Following the unspoken command, I take my eyes off him so they could meet Her slowly ascending to the sky.
I think it's what all Her children feel when She rises in Her full glory. We're drawn to Her as our eyes bathe in the light. An eerie kind of beauty you can't deny no matter how hard you wish you could. She's a force of nature and this nature is your own because you are a piece of Her walking the earth.
I'm no different than the rest of Her children. Just like them, I've always been drawn. Like a moth to a flame, I cannot resist such force.
Tonight, again, I feel it like an ache burning deep in my bones. Vibrations are rising to crescendo until I want to sing that song to Her, only I know I can't.
Like an internal longing that's been intensifying with each year She kept passing me by unnoticed - it's how it feels to be underneath Her light.
The throng of juveniles shuffling on their feet, fighting Her pull on their skin, they are unwilling to become what they are meant to be this season. Some of them open their human mouths, letting out howls that don't sound right of their human lips as their bodies shake with suppressed need to be freed from the human cage and become something else, more.
Her call won't be answered tonight with more than a few songs sang in human voices.
Keeping the track of Her path upwards, I can only watch and embrace Her grace pouring on the uncovered spots of my skin, my own flesh trembling with the need to shift into a different shape.
Needing more of Her, I loose my jacket, letting it slide down my shoulders and onto the ground. The night is cold but the fever Her touch brings to my body is warming me so I don't feel the cold fingers of the coming winter.
I want to soak myself in Her grace. I want to beg Her to make me all that I need to be. I wish She could give me a chance to take what's been taken from me.
Will She grant me my wish? Will She take mercy on me on the night I was born? Does She even remember it was on this night, twenty years ago that She gave me my life?
Tilting my head up toward the sky, my lips part to let out a howl of my own, tears escaping from the corners of my eyes as I sing my misery for Her to hear.
'Are you listening to that song or are you as deaf to my pain as you've been blind? Why are you making me live this cursed life?' I want to ask Her.
(2) Cursed With A Monster...
|Scarlet's POV|
I wish I could reach it. Get lost within the layer of gray, behind the angry clouds shaped into bizarre forms. A storm is coming. The storm has already begun.
The next kick comes more brutal than the one before.
The crackling sound of breaking bones dictates the wheeze of air chased from my lungs until it ends in quiet, shallow whimpers. The echo probes through the confines of my clogged-in-madness mind like a song you wish to turn off but never manage to. Relentless, it goes on and on.
He draws back, bringing his foot to a halt when he gives the command the spectators cannot refuse. His Alpha voice is reverberating through my every fiber when I hear him say, "Pack, join!"
Like a soft curse spoken by a monster. He is a monster.
The moon children are not all like him even if we cage beasts inside. It's just him who's different. He doesn't respect the Moon. He doesn't care about what's right and what's wrong. Never has and never will.
I close my eyes and let the whispers take reign over me, listening... listening to that gentle voice carrying the promise.
Soon... Like the whisper of the wind.
The rain of kicks comes back with renewed rhythm, interrupting the litany in my head. Others are joining my tormentor, blowing the agony over the scales, punishing me for everything I am.
Time is measured by the sound that brings more of that same agony as their blurry forms dance in front of my sight. The light flickers, darkness chasing the shadows; the spirit goes into the darkness before I can say my prayer.
Yet, I know.
Soon...
I'm woken up to a world that's cold, so cold it feels like all the life in it is paralyzed, the same way I am paralyzed. Pain is thriving off, carved into my body. Pain isn't just a memory in my life. It's a living, breathing nightmare.
I know it was never his fists that connected with my body. He was never the one who touched me in that way.
I wish he was, though. I wish it was him and his own people but, in reality, they did nothing to me. He gave the orders that day but he wasn't the one who gave me justice.
Looking through the window of my room, the sky is still dark, the clouds nestled together. The storm's fists are pouring down on the earth, nature proving that there's not mercy or compassion in the world.
The Moon is probably seeing it but She doesn't care about that pain or the one that's covering me like a blanket now. Too weak to get it off. Too broken to keep fighting.
I stopped fighting him two years ago. After that day when he brought me to town collared like a dog for all to see, I stopped fighting him.
It's so easy to break someone. He didn't need to bloody his own hands and be the one to do it. All he needed was to leave me in the hands of my own. No punishment can measure up to the one he gave me that day.
I don't move from my spot for a long time. Instead, I just watch the sky pouring its rage down the earth.
The Moon is cocooned in the darkness. Her eye must be open behind the clouds but it's as blind to my suffering as they are. This is no longer my home or my pack. It's his now.
&nbs
p; Eventually, I move away from my spot.
Flicking the switch, light bursts into the room. It doesn't take me long to take a shower and dress myself. Once you're no longer the princess of the castle you learn how to do things. I've learned a lot for these two years.
I make my way to the kitchen downstairs. As usual, I'm the first to come here since I'm the only female actually living in the packhouse. The rest of the women are residing in town and I'm here mostly because he doesn't trust the pack not to hurt me. It's ironic that the only place safe for me now is the house he's sharing with a few of his closest wolves.
Quickly, I start my morning routine. Washing the dishes from last night's meal, then gathering the products needed for breakfast. This is what I do now. I don't train with the rest of the pack, instead, I am assigned to house-keeping duty with the rest of the elderly women. It's the wisest thing he did in trying to protect me from the rest of the pack since these women, even if they hate me no less than the rest of the survivors from my old pack, are not the violent kind who will go out of their way just to torture me.
However, he won't let me leave. He won't let me out of his sight and risk me coming back to avenge what's being taken away from me. And unfortunately, he won't kill me.
The women are off today so it's all up to me to cook for the twenty-three people residing in the house.
Done arranging his plate, I take a few moments to glimpse through the kitchen window. Sunlight is breaking through the gray, the rise signaling a new day and a new future for some as it just lightens the confinements of my prison.
If I were anyone else I'd have been allowed a run outside but I'm not allowed to do that. An unshifting female is not worth much here, especially one who can't be mated because of the risk of bringing more aberrations in the purest of packs. Aberrations just like herself. Half-breeds.
Two years ago, it was different for me. I was someone respected. A future leader of my pack but that pack is now gone.
I shudder, my body trembling as I try to breathe. Just breathe.
The house is quiet, my packmates suffering the consequences from the night before as I prepare their breakfast.
The meals are all arranged for them, giving out the steamy aroma only homemade food has and making my mouth water. Only his is missing. The last one I ever bring to the table.
As I take in the sight in front of me I almost see them.
Seated around him, inching closer and closer to him, to his power, they are waiting for the first bite that falls into his mouth. Perched on the head spot, the one next to his - empty, meant for his queen alone, he'll then give them all the invitation they need, a happy chatter ascending as they dine together like a family.
He will smile, join in their jokes. Or stay silent, throwing quick glances at the empty seat next to his with a longing in his green eyes, never realizing that I can see it, never knowing that I'm wondering... if the joking, laughing man is the same man, the same monster who strips me of my hopes, who ruins my dreams, who kills me every day of my life.
And he probably wouldn't care even if he knew. No one would.
I sigh and carry his portion to the table, my hands shaking so badly I can do nothing but watch as the plate slips from my fingers, a loud crash ringing through the silence. Freezing me on my spot.
The broken pieces of porcelain peer at me from the white tiles, his food scattered over the pieces as tears rain over the ruined meal.
I kneel down, picking up the broken pieces with my bare hands, not caring if they are cutting into my flesh; he can do much worse.
Biting my tongue to prevent the sobs erupting from my chest, I throw the pieces in the garbage.
Should I run and prolong the torture or accept my fate now, without struggle?
The decision is stripped off of me when I hear the creak of a door opening, then it being slammed shut. Loudly.
'No. No. Please!' I want to shout but nothing comes out, not even a whimper. The screaming is all inside my head.
"Scarlet!" his voice booms, anger audible as his footsteps approach, descending from the second floor. The squeaking under his feet grows louder, the distance between us melting in his fast-paced rage.
I manage to gather as much of the remains of his food as I can in my violently trembling hands before jumping in fright when I hear the door bursting open with his forceful kick.
I see him standing just past the doorstep. His brooding presence - like toxin sprayed into the very air I breathe. His strong, muscled form is clothed in a pair of faded jeans, leaving his large torso on display.
Disgust. It's what I feel looking at him. Pure, unmasked revulsion. The end result of fear trumping along with my hatred.
We stand still, the tension so thick you can slice a knife through it. He stares at me as I peer at his bare feet on the tiled floor, not daring to meet the cruel eyes I can feel fixed on me.
"Where is she?" he growls. Ragged breaths are surging in then out of him.
Do not provoke him. Do not...
He takes a step closer, loudly sniffing the air like the animal he is.
"WHERE IS SHE?" he shouts, making me drop the food in my hands to cover my head with them, knowing what could follow.
That knowledge is ingrained in me.
"I don't know. I'm sorry, I really don't know, Alpha," I ramble, watching his feet advance towards me, bracing myself for the hard rain of his fists.
Is he finally going to hit me? Is it now that my nightmares will finally take substance?
Cowering away, I wish I could shrink my body so he won't be able to touch me and that's exactly when I feel his hand wrapping around my neck, causing electric shocks to travel down my spine.
Withdrawing as if burned by the touch. "What the hell?"
For the first time, I can't resist. I find myself glancing up before I can stop, looking straight into the eyes with the color of spring.
It's no longer just the skin on my palms bleeding but also my heart, bleeding out as my whole world crashes down on me with the realization that this man - this monster, the person I despise with everything in me - is my...
Mate.
(3) New Wolf
|Scarlet's POV|
The path I follow is narrowing down to a single thread, the only one that's shining in my life of darkness and connecting me to any hope for a future. The blood inside my veins is coiling in ice despite my breath that's hitching in my throat and my body that's heating up.
As I run through the forest, there's that lonely, frightened thought in the back of my mind.
He wants to take everything that's left of me.
A wolf is meant to find their mate. A mate is like lungs and you can't stop yourself from breathing. The Moon doesn't want me to breathe; She has cursed me with a monster.
I glance back, noting his long strides have turned into a full-fledged run. Getting closer.
The sole reason for my head start has been his momentary shock, a rare show of emotion he has allowed me to witness, probably unaware of all those other times I've observed the display of his feelings. Then he has switched back to his bone-crushing, domineering attitude and ran after me.
To catch and claim his prize like a true Alpha. He doesn't care that I am broken, he doesn't mind that it was him who broke me. I am the other half of his soul and he has to have me. Regardless of the past.
Mate. The foul taste of Her mockery is spreading and poisoning my dreams, the ones I've thought I shed a long time ago.
I've known I wasn't supposed to find a mate but somewhere deep down I've hoped I'd settle down with some mateless wolf and flicker for as long as I was allowed to before I died littering in insanity. Just like my mom had, her coffin clicking shut over any illusions I'd still had as a stupid juvenile.
Love, after all, hasn't been enough to save her from the Moon's designed path for her. However, that same love has obviously never been in the Moon's plans for me.
For me there is fate.
I feel his breath o
n my neck, his hunger for me looming from behind like a tornado chasing in my footsteps.
I have displaced the game he'd usually hunt but this is more than a hunt. By some odd fickle whim of the Moon, I have become more than his prey, more than a toy to entertain his wicked need to hurt others, I have transformed into a lifeline for him... One he can't let go.
I try to keep the distance between us, pushing myself harder than I ever have, however, my agility is no match for his since he is the Alpha. Meant to be stronger than any other wolf in the pack. I'm nothing compared to him.
He follows my scent deeper into the forest canopy, listening to the twigs crackling under my feet for guidance like his nature dictates; always the hunter, never the prey.
The sound of his laughter rings through the morning quiet, telling me he's forgotten all that's wrong with us being mates and instead given himself to the thrill of the chase. The ground is soaked and turning slippery as I heave with effort towards the pack border, every obstacle on my way - a courtesy of last night's downpour.
He is close, getting closer. I can feel it in my bones. The pull to him is like a thick layer of fog I'm forced to push through as burning fatigue courses through my body.
"Wait, Scarlet. Stop. Don't run from me!" he shouts from close behind, a note of anger sneaking its way into his voice.
Commanding.
Unmasked terror clenching over my gut, my life is flickering before my eyes on replay. I push myself to the point of breaking, holding a tight grasp over the cord of my future as the burn in my muscles gives way to a throbbing ache.
I need to reach the border. Get out. Get away from him.
The task is as simple as they come, but then I feel myself slip. The space around me closes over my shell, claustrophobia battling with soul-wrecking fear. I'm trapped, my body changing instead of running towards my freedom.
I rise to my knees, dusting myself off. Angry tears of defeat nipping at my vision from the realization that nature has once again tricked me.
My bones twist until they break. My joints quiver. My body molds. Clothes rip apart. The panic intensifies. My flesh morphs over itself into a new shape. Patches of dark fur form over my skin. I can't hold it off, I can't fight the change... The one he convinced me will never take place.