by Unknown
"You crossed the line, Scarlet. Pretending to be something else, something more, holding on these principles of yours, how are you going to lie to yourself now?" Soft words that hurt, not because there is accusation in them, but because they are truth.
So beautiful, she looks like an angel come to take vengeance on me now. For breaking a promise I've given to myself. The worst kind of punishment too.
Facing the reality of what I've turned into.
"I expected more from you. I hoped you'd be stronger than all of you. I hoped you'd prove that there is another way we could live." Her voice sounds like it comes from the depths of her despair, words that are choking their way out of her. Her skin is paler than usual in the fall of dusk, no longer colored by the healthy glow she carries with herself, but almost ethereal.
Casting my eyes down, I can't look at her emerald ones. Why is she disappointed in me now? Why is she saying this to me now?
"You should leave before he corrupts everything in you. You should run from here, Scarlet. Run and never come back," she whispers. "He's playing with you the way he played with all of us. It's too late for us but you still have a chance. You should go."
Raising my gaze to her, I find myself asking, "Who's playing with me, Jaz? Why are you saying this to me?"
Shaking her head, there is so much sadness in her voice when she says, "I'm sorry, Scarlet. I just can't."
(17) A Man's Gotta Do What He's Gotta Do
|Regan's POV|
It's been 191 days, 13 hours and 42 minutes since she left. Nearly six and a half months of emptiness. The void inside me is like nothing I've ever felt. I just keep going through the motions, keep thinking of her last words.
Free... she's been free all this time while I've been chained to that misery that wouldn't go away, gnawing at me until I'm almost gone too. I'm still the alpha of this pack, still the ferocious leader by name, however, I'm none of these things in reality.
I'm nothing and no one. I'm lost without her.
The night she fled I thought there couldn't be a worse thing than that but then, a week later, she broke her bond to the pack, to me. I felt it, we all did, even the little ones who did nothing wrong to her. She hurt them too and then just left. Ruins for us to collect and place back together.
I no longer have the strength to do that. I'm tired of picking up the pieces of my life... after her.
I wish I could blame her but I can't. I can only imagine this is how she felt all this time and I feel guilt every time I do. There's nothing left of me now but that guilt, filling the void with each day I spend without her.
The pack is growing weak with the lack of my intervention. I've hardly even acted as an Alpha for the last six months. Hayden and Jase are doing this but sometimes they are not strong enough to put out the fire of the pack breaking apart. I'm just not interested.
I flick my wrist, checking the time on my watch. Three minutes till 6 PM. I should be downstairs to dine with the pack like before but since a few months ago I've stopped eating with them. I can't do that now when I know he's going to call.
He's been calling every evening for the past two months. Asking me the same question. Taunting me with things I am unwilling to do... fight his battles after I've lost all of mine.
It is a strange kind of torture but once again I find myself here, holed up behind the walls of my office, waiting for his call, thinking about finally agreeing to his terms now when I have nothing left to lose.
A minute, I note after another glance at the watch sitting on my wrist. I've been hardly able to sit still lately with the suspicion growing, eating my insides after his last call. Something he said, a hint he gave me perhaps on intention. I presume he knows what he's doing after all.
The phone on the desk starts vibrating, melody joining several seconds later. Taking a deep breath, I pick it up from the cleared of the pile of paperwork surface, slide my finger over the screen and place it to my ear.
"Hello, Michael," I greet, grinding my teeth together with my anger emerging from beneath the layers of grief. The beast is pacing, ready to run wild inside of me.
"Hello, my friend," the vampire's voice echoes back from the other end of the line. "Did you consider my proposition?"
His offer - to fight in a war that isn't my own. To fight those I should never rise against.
The hand holding the device starting to shake, I fight the need to clench it into a fist, the other one already formed in one.
"I did give it some thought," I allow. "However, if I am to engage in this war, I need to know what you meant about me having all the incentive I'd ever need, Michael."
He gives out a light, melodic laugh. I can almost imagine him fiddling with his long, blonde locks as he lets his laughter ring through.
"I thought you'd have figured it out by now," he says words that are spoken slowly, his arrogance creeping into his voice. I'd have reacted to it, probably shivered with desire if I were a female, but it doesn't have that effect on me.
Instead, I grip the arm of the chair I'm perched on, biting back my reply.
"I gave you six months to figure out what I did and you're still asking me to confirm? I'm disappointed in you, Regan." There's a mockery in his voice now. No longer light and friendly, he is, at last, the man I've come to know.
"Someday, Michael, you're going to fall as hard as I did and then your past will come and bite you on your arrogant ass." Just as it did to me.
"Someday but not today," he remarks, amusement permeating his voice. "And really, Regan? Do you really need me to spell it out for you? Did you lose your edge along with your balls?"
"Just spill it," I grit out, leaning back. He's wrong if he thinks I don't know he was the one who took her away. It has been too convenient for her to disappear the night after his visit for me not to realize that my prolonged misery is anything but a fruit of his schemes. Still, I need him to admit it himself.
"I was the one who took her."
"You son of a--"
"But in my defense, I need to remind you - she's as much yours as she is mine, Regan. You took her and her pack by force and she never ever acknowledged you as her alpha, or am I wrong in my assumption?"
He isn't. Of course, he isn't. A person like him never speaks up if he hasn't done his homework and this vampire surely has done his research. For two years, she followed the rules I bestowed upon her but never actually said the words.
Her silence was her defiance. Her 'Alpha' was never spoken with a meaning, never became more than a mockery out of her lips.
"Therefore, I assumed that since you hold no claim over her whatsoever, she'd be a fair game."
"You assumed wrong, vampire. You had no right to take her from me." Spilling out the words like they are a part of a curse, a growl is resonating its way from inside my constricted lungs.
"The same way you had no right to take her as your experimental subject, to make that healer of yours test her--"
"It wasn't my decision to--"
"It was you who forced her to stay in a pack that was no longer her family, so let's not pretend you have a ground for objection concerning my actions. I did what anyone in my place would and let me remind you that as a magistrate I had every right to interfere. Giving you the incentive you needed was only a bonus, my friend. The only question is - is she important enough for you? Will you agree to my request if I promise to return her?"
The line goes silent, the words sinking in, the beast crying out for his mate, a leverage held against him.
My suspicions now confirmed, it is only a matter of choice what the future will offer for both of us. Will this be another one in the string of mistakes or will this be a wise decision?
The beast doesn't care what is right and what wrong, the man fears.
I close my eyes, sighing in my defeat. "Yes. My answer is yes. And you better keep your word, friend."
"It wasn't so hard, was it now, Regan?" the vampire taunts, having not the slightest idea what those barel
y spoken words are going to cost me. He doesn't know. No one does. No one suspects.
"On that note, I suggest you check your e-mail."
"Why?" I ask.
"Let's say I've prepared a small gift to celebrate our cooperation," the vampire informs me, the line now going dead for real.
I place the phone back on the desk, powering up my laptop.
A few minutes later, I'm watching her, my mate, running through an unknown forest. Her face coming in and out of focus as my eyes stay glued to the screen, drinking her up.
She has changed from the last time I laid eyes on her and so have I.
And now what's left to do is for me to get her back so we can dig in each other's wounds.
(18) Ghosts And Lighting Matches
|Scarlet's POV|
His blood is all over my hands. I can see it. I can feel its sticky texture still. I washed it off days ago. Yet, I can't wash it from inside me. Its power is coursing through my veins. I need more. I want more. The need is worming its way through my every fiber.
A calling I wish to resist, a teardrop in an ocean of need that I need to deny again and again and again, the scent is everywhere, surging in with my every breath. I try breathing through my mouth, blocking, fighting against the color-like scents wafting to my nostrils.
Control. Resist. I'm still learning. It's harder to resist now that I've had my first taste. It's a battle I'd rather lose... I'd rather lose myself in the taste... Drinking, savoring it until I have my temporary fill. The following night I went hunting in the woods, as well as the night after. Small animals no longer satisfy me. Now, I need more.
I want to join the next hunt with Cole and the others but I'm not sure it will be enough. I'm not sure I can do it in cold blood and I don't want to fall deeper than I already have.
I can't kill again. Just once, even if it's been to protect my family, is enough.
'Soon,' Cole has promised before sending me off on this mission. Soon he'll teach me how to control the hunger but will I be able to control it today? I'm going to fail and I cannot fail.
Taking a deep breath, one that makes me shiver with the ecstasy preceding the kill, I make my way to the guy standing behind the counter. I must control the need. I must not kill him.
All I can hear is the drum of his heart against his ribcage. A melody like no other.
Luring, enthralling... Like magic.
Liquified magic that's going to pour inside my mouth and make me swallow it, more and more of it until I'm so delirious I no longer know what I'm doing.
"Hello," I say softly, nearly purring my greeting.
The guy stands straighter, his shoulders lifting up, his eyes rake over my body in appreciation. I smile, flashing him a seductive grin, and his cheeks flush. Oh, boy, I lick my lips in anticipation of something I know I shouldn't do but can't stop myself from imagining. He's so green and naive it should feel wrong to even think about it, but it doesn't. All it took for me to sink under has been a sip and now I'm staring at him from the other side of the line. All defenses have been breached, all caution has been thrown to the wind, the chips have been dropped. My game is on and there's no longer hope for me to stop enjoying it. Even if with each turn I fall deeper into the abyss.
"Hey there," the guy greets back with a smile of his own. I can feel the stir of his thoughts. He's hoping I drop him my number, which, despite my shameless flirting, isn't happening.
"How can I help you, babe?"
I give him a look but, thankfully, hold off the grimace the term evokes. Males are so predictable, human or otherwise.
"I forgot my password," I tell him with a smile and take the laptop out of its bag, placing it in front of him. "I have important things in there and can't unlock it. Could you help me with that?"
"Let me take a look." Flashing me a smile, he starts up the laptop I've found after going through the rogue's belongings. Cole was hoping to find a trace of late Samuel's activities and this is our only lead so far.
"It's probably going to take a few days but I'll try, babe." He's lying. He can do it right now, just doesn't have the motivation. He's already thinking about how to make a few extra bucks he's going to spend on weed and chicks. He's going to take a peak on it as soon as I'm gone, see if there's anything he can use to make me pay those extra bucks to him, do a few other things as well.
Cole never taught me how but I can already read humans.
"I'd rather you try now." My voice as sweet as honey, I give him a suggestive wink. "So we can do better things later..." I trail off, hinting at all things naughty, things I know he's already imagining in this dirty mind of his.
He sure as hell gets the hint if the answering smirk is any indication.
"It's still gonna cost you extra," he remarks smugly.
Suppressing the urge to grip the collar of his button-down and smack him thoroughly on the head, instead, I follow him to a table opposite the counter. He motions for me to sit on one of the chairs after placing the laptop and disappears into the back of the store. A few minutes later, he returns with a small device in his hands and a hop in his steps.
Confidence boosted, he beams my way and sits opposite me. He plugs the device in, pressing a few keys, then drops it on the table as well. That done, he leans back into his seat, his light brown eyes looking at me with expectation.
"So," he draws out, causing me to reconsider even stepping a foot into this place. "Tell me, babe. What are you going to do to me later?"
Smiling, I bite my lips just like I know he's envisioning me in his mind.
-
-
-
Regret. It's all I can feel now. Giving in to the thirst is the last thing I've had planned but, eventually, that's how it all ended. Threats spoken softly, hands roaming uninvited, pushing me into the back of the store hasn't been the human's best idea.
The cold and lifeless body I'm now dragging into the woods is the proof. Who will find his remains in this godforsaken place? Some lost soul may encounter them someday but it won't happen for years. We don't allow visitors here so for as long as we stay, he will stay forgotten too.
Buried into the ground. Rotting in the earth.
I stop once I've reached the cabin, hoping that next time I'm going to control myself, hoping that there won't be a next time. Is it the thought that counts or is it the deed that makes you a monster? Have I turned into one?
Dropping the bag on the ground, I pick up the shovel and start the tedious work of getting to cover my tracks.
My last mistake. Or just one of many to come?
Sweat trickles down my back as I dig up the hole. The rush is long gone, the hunger fed. I lift myself up the human way instead of jumping out of the hole. Now that I'm fed I feel like a cat in need of rest and a good purr.
Kicking the body into the grave, eager to get it done and get some rest, I leave it there to fetch the tube from the cabin. After making my way back, I unclasp the lid and pour the content over the body.
I won't need to announce my wrongdoings after the first match is lit. They'll know soon enough.
I drop the tube next to me and open the box with lighting matches.
Taking out a few, I light them up, scratching the box with their tips, then drop them into the hole. The body bursts into flames like a three-months-old, dry Christmas Tree, the stink of melting and burning flesh filling the air. It's no pine and flowers. A nasty and disgusting deal, it's all there is to it but I'm not swayed.
A girl should clean after herself.
I stay there, watching the flames consume the body until a loud, displeased chuckle startles me out of my trance.
"I see you're on a roll, Scarlet," Cole points out, emerging from behind the treeline. After encouraging me to go on their hunt and accept my darkness, he's now scolding me for letting it take all of my control. My willpower has failed him. Though, it would've been fine if I've done this anywhere else but here, in our home.
"At least, tell me you managed to
complete your task," he comments with a tone that's as displeased as his face looks.
"Don't be an asshole, Cole!"
I turn in the direction of the snicker, noticing Micah coming from the opposite side of the trees. She's back. My anchor to sanity.
A loud shriek later, one I'm not particularly proud of, I crash into her, hugging her hard. She may not be different than the rest of my family and she probably enjoys their hunts more than any of them, but she's my closest person here and this counts for something even if it doesn't justify me staying here, pretending that I don't know.
"Yo, girlfriend," she gulps, lightly hitting my back. "Breathing space, please."
I draw back embarrassed. "Sorry."
She chuckles, then offers me her signature grin. "You must have been dying of boredom, girlfriend," she states, hugging me to her side. "I see you managed to stir up quite the trouble in my absence. Just like I did during my trip," she adds the last in a whisper.
I sneak a glance at Cole - huffing with anger, and give her an apologetic smile. "Looks like it."
"Well, did you?" Cole prompts, folding his arms over his chest and let me tell you, it's one hell of a nice chest even covered up with the worn-off, grayish green t-shirt. Nice if you can ignore his sometimes jerky attitude but by now I'm used to it.
"Did I what?" I tease.
He rolls his eyes in annoyance.
"Alright, alright. I did find information on our Samuel," I say, already knowing he won't like what I'm going to tell him.
If not for the bad news and his clingy behavior, I probably wouldn't have killed the human, but well, no good news goes unpunished. Neither does bad. As soon as I've found out whom fucker Sam has been feeding information to, I've flipped. Add this to the jerk's near rape attempt and it turned a girl who's been barely holding into a mindless killer.
A killer living in denial among other killers but, whether you believe me or not, the truth is easier to ignore when you don't see it, when you're not forced to join, when you're not the one they hunt.
Easier when you have nowhere else to go and no one else to protect you.