“Sergeant Matheson, I think it’s time we start talking about medicine. There are things to help quiet the chaos; medicines, combined with therapy, will help. We can give you something to help you sleep at night, too.”
Resigned that he needed more, he nodded. “Just make it stop.”
Rehab, Day 62
“Ah. I see. It always comes back to a woman,” his therapist laughed. “You can’t avoid her forever.” He eyed Bryce cautiously.
“I could.”
“You could try. But she’s called every day to check on you, and you’ve agreed to let us discuss your progress with her. Let me also remind you that you say you love her. And that you believe she loves you.”
Bryce threw his head back and groaned. It didn’t help. In fact, it made the pounding in his head amplify.
He’d been seeing the shrink for weeks now, every other day. It was part of his treatment plan; probably the worst part, if you asked him. He wasn’t a talker, didn’t enjoy discussing his feelings, and he especially didn’t like talking about Lacey. But he didn’t have much choice. It was Lacey or ‘the incident’ and right now, he’d rather not think about how fucked up his body still was, or what had happened over there.
The pills helped, but there were days where he felt like a zombie. Strung out and numb.
“She deserves more than I can give her right now. You don’t get it. She has a lifetime ahead of her. The last thing she needs is to worry about my sorry ass.”
“And you think that by pushing her away, she won’t worry about you? From what you’ve told me so far, that doesn’t sound like her. Let’s also not forget that your life is far from over. One could argue that you have a lifetime ahead of you as well. So why not call her? Ask her to come visit, when she has time. Give her the option. Let her decide what she can handle.”
“For the record, I hate when you’re right, Doc.”
Doctor McLaren chuckled. “Now we’re making progress. You aren’t the first one to tell me that, Bryce. Give her a call. I’ll be back on Friday to visit with you again. We can talk about how it went then.”
“I’ll think about it,” Bryce grumbled.
“Fair enough.”
As Doctor McLaren disappeared, Bryce closed his eyes and contemplated his advice. Truth was, he missed Lacey. Needed her, like the air he breathed. As some of the chaos lifted, he yearned for her more and more. Maybe the doctor really was right. Maybe it was time to pick up the phone and call his girl. Because let’s face it, no matter what – she was his. And he needed to hear her voice. To know that all hope wasn’t lost. Sure, it could be a shot in the dark. She may tell him to go to hell, and he’d deserve it, but he needed to try.
He reached for his cell phone that had been returned to him and scrolled through, to find her number. She answered on the second ring.
“Bryce. Is everything ok?”
He smiled, knowing that she still cared. “Fine. I needed to hear your voice.”
“Oh.” She paused. “You could have been hearing my voice all along, had you not tried to shut me out again. Or answered my calls when I tried to reach you.”
Always a spitfire. It was one of the things he loved most about her. She always called him on his bullshit. “You’re right. I fucked up. Again. I think we both know that’s nothing new for me.”
Lacey sighed. “You certainly have a way of doing just that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Listen, I know this is a long shot, and you may not be able to; or even want to, for that matter, but…I’d like it if you came for a visit. I’ve been seeing the shrink here, and he thinks it would be good for me. I have to agree with him. I miss you a lot, Lacey.”
Bryce could her the hitch in her voice. “I’ll come. As soon as I can. Give me a day or two?”
“Please.” His voice wavered.
“I will.”
“Ok. And Lacey?”
“Yeah, Bryce.”
“I love you. Thank you.”
“I love you too, you fool. How are things there?”
“Lonely without you…”
Bryce hung up the phone a short while later, with a smile on his face. Maybe things weren’t so fucked up after all.
Lead Me – Kip Moore
Rehab, Day 65
Lacey drove down to Walter Reed on Saturday morning. Giving her ID to the guard at the gate, she waited as he checked over his list to grant her access, then she drove the short distance to the hospital and took a spot in the guest parking lot. When she checked in at the front desk, the receptionist handed her a badge and told her how to get to Bryce’s room.
He wasn’t in his room when she got there, though. She hadn’t had a chance to make it inside before a nurse stopped her and told her that Bryce was with the therapy team. She debated staying in his room and waiting for him to get back, but the nurse insisted that she could join him in the gym – escorting her in that direction.
“Just through there.” The nurse buzzed her into the room.
Bryce was sitting in a chair with some type of device hooked up to his shoulder area. As she approached, she realized it must be some type of muscle stimulator. He didn’t notice her walk in, his focus solely on whatever his therapist was saying to him. Lacey took the opportunity to take him in and observe. The bandage on his head was much smaller and the one on his shoulder was gone. His shirt was off. The bruises were gone, but another bandage remained on his lower abdomen.
Aside from all that, she still saw the man she loved so much. Those tattoos on his arms, and his chest, that she loved to run her fingers over while they laid in bed together. Where, weeks before, he’d looked vulnerable; now, he looked stronger than ever. Strong and determined.
“You gonna keep staring or come over here?” Bryce’s voice snapped her from her thoughts. He chuckled as she startled.
“Hi,” she mumbled shyly. A gasp escaped when Bryce stood awkwardly and pulled her toward him, wrapping his arms around her. Tears threatened to fall as she breathed in his scent, taking in the warmth of his embrace. He held her for what seemed like entirety, conveying his emotions to her without ever saying a word.
It wasn’t until someone behind them cleared their throat that he loosened his grip – smiling at her again.
“Chris, this is Lacey. Lacey, Chris is the sorry SOB that gets the pleasure of getting my arm working again, among other things.”
“Nice to meet you.” Chris extended his hand to her.
Lacey took it and gave it a firm shake. “Good to meet you, too. I hope he isn’t much of a grump for you.”
“He’s a pain in the ass, but he keeps my job interesting, that’s for sure.”
“Asshole,” Bryce laughed.
“We’re almost done for the day. If you want, I’ll let you take this guy back to his room in a few minutes.”
“Lunch. She’s taking me to lunch. Well, I’m taking her, but she’ll have to chauffeur me in my fancy wheels.” Bryce nodded toward the wheelchair. “I never thought I’d be glad to use crutches, or get this damn cast off. That would be better.”
“Soon, man. I told ya. Soon.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get this done so she can feed me.” He winked at her.
So, he seemed to be in a good mood. She was relieved that he wasn’t biting anyone’s head off this time, hers included.
She watched as he finished up his exercises, and then they were on the move.
Lacey pushed Bryce’s wheelchair through the courtyard, to the picnic tables set up on the back side, while Bryce held their lunches in his lap. With an entire food court to choose from, they weren’t subject to the usual hospital fare.
She tried not to pay attention or notice the others around them, but it was difficult to do. The men and women who were recovering here were proof of the sacrifice, the cost of war. And a reminder of just how lucky Bryce was. Most of his injuries would likely fade over time. But there were others who couldn’t say the same. People w
ith burns covering most of their body, missing limbs, you name it.
“Hey,” he whispered as she wheeled him near a table. He set their food on top of it and adjusted himself so that he was close enough to eat, while Lacey took a seat opposite him. “Remember what I said. Tune it out as much as you can.”
Lacey stifled a laugh. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s supposed to be encouraging you. But it’s hard to ignore all this, isn’t it?”
“It’s fucked with my head, more than you know,” he confessed, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Lacey, listen. I’m sorry about everything. I am. That first day, you have to know that wasn’t me. Not at all. I was confused. Didn’t know where I was or what was going on. After that, I was scared. Pissed off. I hated having you see me like that. Shit, having you wheel me around makes me feel helpless. But I’m trying.”
She set her sandwich down and wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “Out of everything you said to me then, the hardest part was when you said you wished you had died over there. I could handle being pushed away, but hearing you wanted to die? That gutted me, Bryce. You wanted to die, and you wanted me to forget about you. But in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t take well to being told what to do.”
Bryce smiled; he genuinely smiled. The kind of smile that lit up his whole face, something that Lacey had missed so much since he’d been gone. “It’s one of the things I love about you, babe. This whole thing, it’s so frustrating. The stupidest shit I forget, or I don’t remember something that I feel like I should know. How fucked up is that?”
“It’s fucked up,” Lacey agreed. “But it doesn’t define you.”
“Now you sound like my shrink,” he chuckled and took another bite of his sandwich. “You ok? You’ve barely eaten.”
“It’s good to be here, with you, you know? I was terrified, Bryce; so scared. It hasn’t been easy, being at home – waiting for your stubborn ass to get it together.”
Bryce bowed his head and sighed. “I know.” Looking up at her, he forced a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t give up. Glad you’re here.”
“Bryce, I’m never going to give up on you. On us. I love you far more than I probably should.”
Emotion swelled in his chest, choking his words. “I love you too, Lacey. So fucking much.”
“We’re going to get through this, Bryce. Just you wait and see.”
Didn't I—Montgomery Gentry
Rehab, Day 70
“I want you to meet someone,” Bryce said, as Lacey wheeled him back through the hospital.
Jerry seemed to be getting better, day by day. They’d been spending a lot of time together, since there wasn’t much else to do. He didn’t have much in the way of visitors, aside from his parents who liked to dote on him, and annoy him in the process. Bryce figured meeting Lacey would be a welcome distraction from the monotony.
He directed Lacey through the hallways to Jerry’s room. His door was open and Jerry was sitting in the chair, watching TV.
“Jerry,” Bryce called out.
The soldier’s head snapped toward the door. “Son of a bitch, I wondered if you’d stop by today. Come on in, Sarg.”
Lacey pushed him forward, trying her best not to stare. His arms looked like they’d been heavily burned, and his left leg was missing below the knee. He looked…young. Unsure of what exactly she should say, she stayed quiet.
“Jerry, this is Lacey. Lacey… meet the guy who saved my life.” Bryce choked on his words.
A surprised gasp escaped Lacey’s mouth, and her eyes welled with tears. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Jerry extended a hand to Lacey. “Hey, none of that. This man right here has had my back more times than I can count. It’s good to finally meet the woman who knocked him on his ass.”
Bryce huffed, “Fuck you,” flipping his friend the middle finger. “Anyway, Lacey, I’ve known Jerry for a few months now. I guess you could say we’re friends,” he teased.
“Yeah sure, if you count him riding my ass about everything under the sun,” the other man ribbed back.
Still in shock, Lacey stood speechless, listening to them talk and crack jokes. Reality seeped into her skin.
This was the cost of war.
Broken bones, bruises, and battle scars. Missing limbs. The list went on.
A knot formed in her throat, and her mouth went dry.
But what about the ones who didn’t make it back?
She looked between the two men. Heroes. Pillars of courage and strength, both fought for her freedom.
“Hey, you ok?” Jerry asked.
Lacey jumped ever so slightly, startled by his voice. Bryce looked over his shoulder at her. “Hey, Lace. You good?”
With a hand over her mouth, she nodded. And the tears flowed. “I’m so sorry,” she mumbled.
“Ah shit, man. I think we’ve overwhelmed her.”
“Lace, look at me, baby.” Bryce reached for her hand. “It’s ok.”
“I…I…I don’t even have the words to even begin to explain the courage you two must have. The sacrifices. Oh God, I’m so sorry. I need a minute.” She started to pull back.
“I’ll catch you later, Jerry.” With his good hand, Bryce turned his wheelchair around. “Come on, Lace. Let’s go for a walk, get you some fresh air.” His voice was steady and calm.
Nodding, she took hold of his wheelchair and steered him from the room.
“Let’s go outside, ok?”
She navigated the hallway, down the elevator, and outside, where she gasped for air. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated over and over.
“Lacey. Come on, babe. Calm down. What’s got you so worked up?”
“Bryce, he’s so young. He put his life on the line for his country. Just like you did.”
“It’s what we do, babe. It’s our job. Our honor, our privilege.”
Being in this place, it was all too real. The reality. How had she missed it before?
Her first time here, she’d be so consumed with Bryce that she hadn’t looked around. She could see it all so clearly now, though. All around her in this place were heroes. Men and women who deserved the highest of honor. Those who would never be the same. The same stubborn people who’d probably lay their lives on the line all over again for their country.
And she was madly in love with one of them. The question was, could she really handle all that came with loving him?
“You gonna be ok?” Bryce asked as she gathered her purse and car keys a little while later.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “I’m good now. I’m really sorry about losing it earlier.”
Hugging her tightly, he smiled. “It’s overwhelming. I’ve seen a lot of shit, but nothing prepared me for this. I get it.”
“Tell Jerry I’m sorry?”
“I will, but don’t worry about us here. You gonna be ok at home?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve got Tyler checking up on me every five minutes,” she laughed.
“Good. Tell him to keep taking care of my girl until I get back.”
Lacey paused and took a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want.”
“Why do you do it? I know why you enlisted, but why did you keep going back, really?”
“For you. For everyone I love waiting back home.” He continued without hesitation, “So my nephews can have their freedom. To make my home a little bit safer.”
“Well, fuck me,” she mumbled, stunned by his truth. Her heart swelled with pride. “You’re one of a kind, Bryce Matheson.”
“I’m not really. There are thousands of other men, just like me.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “You’re so full of shit.”
“Enough with the touchy-feely shit, unless you wanna feel me up.” He wiggled his brows. Lacey laughed, as he smiled. “Get your ass home, and call to let me know you made it. Please.”
“I will. I love you, Bryce.”
“I love you too, baby. Take it easy going
home.”
Losing Sleep—Chris Young
Rehab, Day 95
“Shit,” Bryce mumbled and squeezed his cock in his hand. This was an all-time low for him, that’s for sure. He jerked off in plenty of places, but a hospital room? Not one of them. Until now. He couldn’t handle it anymore. Desire had gotten the best of him, and if he didn’t bust a nut soon – he’d probably come in the middle of PT if his shorts rubbed him the wrong way.
Lacey had been visiting nearly every day she could. Bustling in through the door, looking like sex on a stick. Didn’t matter what she was wearing, if her hair was pulled up, or if she didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. He still wanted her.
Craved. Her.
It was the thought that she’d be here any minute now that had him hard as nails and currently edging toward his release.
Right… about…there…
“Bryce!” Lacey squealed, catching him with his pants down. Literally.
“Fuck, babe!” Yep, didn’t matter. Her appearance drove him right over the edge. His cock twitched and cum shot out, coating his hand and his stomach. He leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath. “Could have knocked.” His voice was still strained from all the excitement.
“And you could have…” Lacey swallowed hard, looking him up and down.
Oh yeah, she still wanted him. His cock twitched again, letting him know that it was up to the challenge of another round. Preferably inside Lacey’s heat.
“Could have…waited for you?” He raised a brow and shot her a cocky grin.
Lacey ignored him and let out a frustrated growl as she turned and marched into the bathroom, returning a few minutes later with a warm washcloth. “Clean up and put that thing away, please.”
“Can’t resist temptation, honey?”
“Bryce! Clean up and put your junk away! I mean it.” Lacey turned her back to him again and waited.
Come Back To Me Page 11