by S Doyle
“No. I’m getting closer on finalizing the plans though.”
Finalizing plans? It was so un-Jake to be hesitant about this. I wanted to scream at him for not seeing what was right there in front of his face.
“If you’re worried about where I’m going to stay over the summer, I already thought about it. I’ll use the cabin,” he said.
See, I knew that was what he was thinking. That if he’s not physically living in the house, sleeping with me is still okay.
“Okay, but where are we going to have sex? My bedroom? Your old bedroom? Or do you think I should sneak out to the cabin like Mrs. Nash used to?”
Silence.
“Jake?”
“I don’t know, Ellie. I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“You hadn’t thought about having sex with me again? You’re saying last week was… forgettable?”
I had to bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing.
“No. Of course not. You’re not understanding… what… I think about having sex with you. All the fucking time. I’m just saying we can’t… I mean I don’t know how this is supposed to work. Okay?”
Yes, it was okay. Because I knew how it was supposed to work.
“Well we’ll work on it,” I offered.
“Fine. Yes. I have to go.”
Yes, poor Jake. As strong and as tough as he was, I had firmly and solidly knocked him out of his comfort zone.
“Night, Jake.”
“Night, Ellie.”
I ended the call and wondered when it was going to happen. When Jake was going to learn what I had done. I was guessing sometime next week. He’d have to come into town for something, and when he did he usually ate at Frank’s.
Two words. Fire. Works.
Oh, wait, that was actually one word.
One word. Fireworks.
Eight
Jake
Tuesday Afternoon
I parked my truck and figured I would get lunch first. Then I would drop by the post office to see if my new wire cutters had arrived. I paid way more than I should have, but the reviews in Rancher’s Weekly had been pretty compelling.
My lips twisted at the memory of Ellie opening her Christmas gift that one year only to find I had given her wire cutters. I might have done better with a lump of coal, she had looked so crestfallen.
I would have to do something special this year. I had a feeling Ellie would want something girly and romantic now that were doing it.
Lovers. It was odd, but the word made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t even sure why I told her that. Lovers implied… I don’t know. Something illicit. Despite how all of this had started, we weren’t illicit now.
I opened the door to Frank’s, wondering if I was in the mood for a burger or some chili, when a girl walked by with honey-brown hair in a ponytail hanging down her back, carrying a coffee pot.
Bernie must have found someone to replace her. Thank God. I took another look because from the back she looked a lot like Ellie. Then she turned around and I saw it was in fact Ellie.
“Hi Jake. Pick any open spot.”
“Ellie, what in the hell are you doing here? And why are you holding a coffee pot?”
“I’m a waitress. Waitresses poor coffee.”
My eyes narrowed and I didn’t have to say anything else. She knew what my expression meant.
“Okay, okay. Hold on. Let me just refresh some coffee and then I’ll explain.”
She breezed away then as if this wasn’t a big deal. This was a fucking big deal!
“Oh no. I told you, once Jake hears about this we’re getting Bernie back.”
I looked over to see Sam and his wife sitting at a booth, looking at me with concern.
His wife patted his hand and said, “Let’s see how it plays out. Ellie obviously has her reasons for being here.”
I turned away from them, not able to believe what I was hearing. Ellie was here when she should be at school. Beyond that, she must have been here long enough that Sam and his wife were already making predictions about my reaction.
AND I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT.
Did everyone catch that?
This was a big fucking deal.
I sat in the first open booth and seethed. Then I realized every eye in the place was on me, so I tried to contain my anger.
Ellie came around the booth sans coffee pot and her lower lip between her teeth, which meant she was nervous, which she should be.
“Outside. Now,” I said.
“Jake…”
“I mean it, Ellie. I’m not having this conversation in the middle of Frank’s.” I got out of the booth and grabbed her hand. I made my way down the narrow hall where the bathrooms were and then opened the office door. I knew the back entrance was through there.
Bernie looked up and was about to open her mouth, then she saw me and understood the situation.
“Ellie is on a break.”
“Okay, Jake. But don’t take her back. I’m not going out there again.”
I slammed open the emergency exit, because that felt good, and moved Ellie out the door in front of me. Fortunately the back lot was empty of any smoking dishwashers.
“Talk. Now,” I said.
“You know, Jake, I don’t think you should be using that tone with me.”
“Ellie…”
“But you’re surprised, so I’ll allow it this time. I quit school.”
“Ellie…”
“No. Wait. You can’t bark at me to talk and then interrupt me when I do.”
I snapped my jaw shut, took a deep breath, and waited.
“Right. So here’s the thing. I’m a rancher. I belong on a ranch. My ranch. The whole school thing felt… stupid and pointless, and I told you that. But you didn’t want to listen, and I figured we probably needed more time to work out our stuff. After my birthday, I realized it was even more stupid to stay. I had already made the decision I wasn’t going back, so I didn’t see the point in sticking around for another month to take tests I could care less about the outcome. I came back here that Saturday. I’m renting the room over the Hair Stop and as you can see, working at Frank’s.”
I worked through her logic. Then something stuck. “The money! That’s how you were able to give me that money.”
She nodded. “Yes, it was certainly more important for you to have it to build a house than for me to waste it at school. Except you don’t have a house.”
“Why does that bother you?”
“Jake, can you say right now you’re committed to being with me forever?”
I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I felt like a deer in the headlights. Like I couldn’t blink.
“Exactly. You can’t, and that’s okay. But if I came back to the house, even if you did move to the bunk house or move to the cabin, do you really think it would be anything but us boinking twenty-four seven?”
It was harder to know what annoyed me more. The rabbit-ear quotes around move or her use of the term boinking.
“It would be too easy for you, Jake. We would fall into this pattern, and it wouldn’t be about us choosing each other. It would be about us settling. You settling, to be more specific. And damn it, I want more!”
“Okay, that’s fine. But why not tell me that? Why not discuss it with me? This is the second time you’ve gone off and done what you wanted without once running it by me. We should be making these decisions together!” I shouted back.
“Why!” she shrieked. “Why should we make them together? We weren’t an actual married couple. I told you then, it was my money and my decision to go to school. That is still the case. My money, my life, my decision. Not yours. Until we are in a real relationship, I don’t have to consult you on any of the decisions I make in my life.”
“What is not real to you about our relationship? Because I have to say Ellie, you are pretty much the most real thing in my life.”
I didn’t know what that meant, I only knew it was true. And it seemed t
o make Ellie happy because instead of shrieking back, she was smiling at me again.
“I know. We are real. We just have to change things.”
“Like what?”
“I want to go on dates. I want to get more flowers. I want you to call me sometimes. I want to be wooed, Jake. That’s why I’m staying in town. If I was out at the house it would be too easy for you. You want me, you’re going to have to make an effort. Then we can see, like any other normal couple does, if we have what it takes for the long run.”
I hated it when she made sense. Because if we were arguing and she made sense, it meant I was wrong.
I worked my way back through the fight to see if I had any justification to hold on to my anger.
“You said you came back here after your birthday. You’ve been lying to me for weeks.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that, but I thought it would be better this way. To let you find out for yourself. You were going to know by the end of the semester anyway. This was always the plan. I just accelerated it.”
Always the plan. To come back to Riverbend, but not her own damn house. She was right though. Now that I had her, now that I had reached a place in my head where it was okay to have her, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my hands off her if she was at the house regardless of where I kept my clothes.
In fact, I could feel my hands twitching now. Wanting to reach for her because she was standing in front of me.
“I should get back to work. Paying customers and all that.”
I nodded. We had to go around the front of the restaurant because we couldn’t get in through the back door. It felt like all conversation came to a complete standstill as soon as we walked back inside. Then I took my seat in an open booth. Once everyone could see I wasn’t hauling Ellie away, they went back to their own business.
I ordered the chili and a Coke. Ellie cheerfully brought me a refill on the Coke. It was all very civil.
She wanted to be wooed. She wanted flowers. I brought her flowers for her damn birthday.
Then I fucked her brains out. Not exactly romantic.
It was hard to admit I had treated Ellie in any way that was less than respectful. But she was right about that too. I had dated Janet for weeks before I’d ever considered taking her to bed.
And sex with Janet was nothing like being with Ellie.
When I was done I paid the check and left a tip (twenty-five percent, because I was a good tipper normally) and asked if I could have another moment with her outside.
Ellie agreed and walked me to my truck.
“Ellie Samson,” I said, because she hadn’t changed her name when she married me. “Will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me sometime?”
She clapped. Then her face got very serious. “Yes, Jake Talley. I would love to go on a date with you.”
I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll call you.”
“Can’t wait. Have a good day.”
It wasn’t until I was halfway back to the ranch that I realized I was still smiling. Because Ellie was back in Riverbed. Because we were going to go on a date.
So yeah. It was a good day.
I stared at my phone later that night and realized what she said. It was true. I never called her at school. I never reached out to her. Only that one time when she had failed to call me, and I thought now that was probably deliberate on her part.
I wasn’t sure why I didn’t call her. I guess it all went back to this feeling that Ellie and I weren’t normal. That I couldn’t push her in any way to be with me. That she needed to have options. For her own protection.
Which in the end I shut down for her by telling her she couldn’t date anyone else. Yet she didn’t seem to mind.
At some point, just like I had to come to terms with her making decisions for herself, I also had to come to terms with the idea that she had feelings for me and those feelings were real.
Not going to lie. It felt good.
I dialed her number and she answered on the second ring.
“Hey!”
“Hey. I was hoping I could take you out to dinner on Friday.”
“Friday works.”
And there it was. That simple. Our first date. “Okay, I’ll pick you up around six thirty and make the reservations for eight.”
“Ooh, reservations. Does that mean what I think it means?”
“Thought I would take you to the Chop House.”
“My favorite! I haven’t been there since high school graduation.”
I didn’t say I had been there. With Carol. I was thick sometimes but I wasn’t a dumb man.
“Okay. How was the rest of your day?”
“Awesome. I had this really hot guy leave me a twenty-five percent tip.”
I smiled. “Probably because the service was super special.”
She chuckled. “But seriously, waitressing at that place is no joke. I am on my feet constantly and when I come home all I want to do is sleep.”
I looked over at the clock. It was nearly ten.
“Then I’ll let you get to it. See you Friday.”
“See you Friday. And Jake…”
“Yes?”
“Thanks for calling.”
“Good night, Ellie.”
“Night, Jake. Dream of me.”
The call ended and I decided I was dead tired too. Nothing left to do but go to bed and do as commanded.
Because I did do that at night. I did dream about her.
Nine
Ellie
Friday Night
I heard his truck pull up and I nearly squealed like a girl. Or a pig. One of the two. I needed to take a chill pill. This was just Jake. Yes, it was our first official date. And yes, I was out of my skin I was so excited, but I didn’t need to let him know that.
Right? Guys liked to chase a little. I told him he needed to woo me and I meant it. I had texted Denny and Maryanne to keep them in the loop. Maryanne had sent back a bunch of smiley faces. Denny had told me what outfit I should wear.
I ignored his advice, despite it being flawless, because I wanted to wear my favorite dress instead. The blue one with the little flowers, that wrapped around my waist. I brushed my hair one more time. Slicked on some pale pink lip gloss and headed for the door, assuming he would beep to let me know he was there.
The knock on my door should have told me this night was going to be a little different. I opened it to see him standing on the landing outside the small apartment with a bunch of daisies in his hands.
He held them out and I buried my face them in again. They weren’t exactly the same as my birthday flowers, because those had been the first flowers from Jake ever and this time I sort of had to tell him he needed to get me flowers, but still they were pretty great.
“I have a vase. Let me just put them in water.”
“We’ve got some time.”
I stepped back to let him inside and it was a kind of weird. Like I felt almost shy around him, which was ridiculous considering I had had his penis in my mouth more than once.
Still, this was a new dance between us. Not friends. Not fucking. Dating.
Maryanne had shipped all my stuff, but I hadn’t taken everything out of the boxes so they were piled up against the wall. I found the one with my vase and made my way into the bathroom to fill it up from the sink.
When I came out Jake had wandered around the small room and focused on the table where I had my scales. Nine on the right. Because let’s face it, I was pretty damn happy these days.
I set the flowers next to them. “Ready to go?”
“Yep.”
We left the apartment and I locked up. When I got to the truck, Jake was holding the passenger side door open for me. Then he put his hand around my arm to give me a boost.
I had been getting in and out of Jake’s truck for years and he’d never, not once, done that.
He shut the door behind me and I struggled what to make of that. Because if this was wooing, this wa
s kind of fun.
“So tell me what it’s like working at Frank’s,” he said as he started the truck and we got on the road.
“It’s a little crazy. Not going to lie. I mean I’ve known all these people most of my life, but who knew they had so many weird habits? Mrs. Petty blew my mind the other day. You know her, she’s so nice. She orders the steak, and Frank makes it for her. I put it in front of her and she says it looks funny. That it’s not cooked right. Okay, I take it back. Frank doesn’t say anything, just makes her another one. Again, not right. I’m like how can you even tell? She just pushes it with her fork. So I go back to Frank with this second steak, thinking he’s going to be ticked off, and you know what he does?”
“What?”
“He hands me the first steak and tells me to serve it again and says to trust him. I’m thinking he’s crazy, but sure enough I set the first steak in down in front of her and she says, there, that’s perfect.”
Jake laughed and I laughed with him.
“I asked Frank about it and he says she does it all the time. Which is why he always cooks the second steak to either his or Bernie’s preference, because they know it’s going to be their dinner that night.”
“Mrs. Petty… weird about steak. Who knew?”
I shared a bunch more stories with him. How Howard added extra hot sauce to everything, how Pete had to have his hamburgers cooked until they were burnt, which to both Jake and me was a sacrilege.
Finally he pulled up into the parking lot. When he stopped the car he looked at me and said, “Stay put.”
For a second I was thinking he wanted to confirm the reservation or something, but nope. He just came around the truck and opened my door. I unhooked my belt and then he was lifting me (which again, five-nine, I shouldn’t be so easily liftable) actually lifting me out of the truck until my shoes hit the ground.
“What are you doing?”
“This is a date, Ellie. This is what I do on a date. Just go with it.”
“Okay. But I guess this explains why you never went out with Maddie Hornburg, because you would not be lifting her anywhere.”