“Nice. And apparently, concern for you outweighs other family feuds.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, struggling to open the bottle of tea. She tapped the edge of the lid on the counter and tried again with a grunt.
Stretching his arm over the back of the couch, CJ wiggled his fingers in a give-me motion.
“You said Angie boycotted Crystal’s wedding because of jealousy and hurt feelings. However, she wasted no time in letting Viv know about the party, or that you were secretly seeing someone.”
The metal lid twisted off with a pop in his strong hands. Smiling her thanks, she accepted it back and took a long drink. Add another reason to the growing list of why it was awesome to have a boyfriend.
“We are not a secret, just new. As for my cousin, it is more likely a case of gloating than out of any real concern.”
“Whatever the reason, your family is talking.”
She circled the end of the couch and dropped back down beside him.
“I’m not sure what there is to talk about. I’m a thirty-year-old woman, not some blushing virgin.”
“They’re worried that I…” CJ hesitated. “Not everyone falls in love as quickly as my parents did. We haven’t known one another long, and your family is just being cautious.”
“Nosey is what my family is being,” Annie grumbled, reluctantly setting the tea aside so she could get back to signing books. “If this is going to be the way it is now that Crystal is married off, we’re going to have issues. I’m not their new project.”
“They just want what’s best for you.”
Annie shifted on the couch, trying for an angle where she was comfortable and could see CJ’s face. He’d sounded tense since they’d returned from Lake Michigan. Aunt Viv’s visit hadn’t helped.
“How about they let me decide that? Are you catching flak from your family?”
“No,” he answered, sounding surprised. “Why would you think that?”
“I was just wondering if there is some fatal flaw in our pairing that I’m missing, or if my family just doesn’t trust me to make my own decisions.”
“Trust is earned. It’s me they don’t trust yet.”
“Well, you’re my choice. Everyone is just going to have to accept that, or keep their trap shut.”
“Good luck with that,” CJ snorted.
Annie shook her head. “You would think they could just be happy that I found someone, anyone! Despite lamenting that I’m destined to die miserable and alone, they’ve all tried setting me up at one time or another. I’ve been shopped to every male they go to church with, work with, or socialize with. Not to mention a retiree that volunteers at the library because we both like books obviously or, on one occasion, a particularly handsome felon on work release.”
CJ rolled his head toward her, his expression skeptical.
“I kid you not,” she said, raising her right hand on the vow. “Still think they mean well?”
“I’m beginning to see your point,” he admitted, wrapping his arm around her.
Signing another book, she made a mental note to grab one from her stash to replace the one she’d given Viv.
“You really don’t mind sitting here while I scribble my name?” she asked softly.
“I really don’t,” he whispered back, squeezing her shoulder. “I like being with you. Besides, I have my wolves to watch.”
Annie grinned as he reached for the remote.
“Yeah, pretty sure Aunt Viv thought you were either just being nice, or the whole wolf thing was bullshit.”
“Let her. I watch very little TV. I haven’t seen this one.”
“By all means then, watch on. I’ll button my lips.”
His finger caught her jaw, turning her face to his for a quick kiss.
“Don’t do any permanent harm to them, beautiful. I’m partial.”
“Promise,” she said, feeling the goofy grin again. He had a gift for making her feel special.
Toes gripping the slippery tile, Annie eased the blade over the tricky contours of her knee. Why did shaving feel like tip-toeing through a field of razor wire? Her bikini line felt a little raw and she’d already shredded the wrinkly spot on the back of one heel. Letting out her breath she finally put the razor aside and rinsed off. Twisting, she examined her lower half for any missed spots. This was something she was going to have to get used to again. The bridal party had gotten waxed, buffed, and polished before the trip to Wyoming, but she hadn’t had to shave with this amount of precision since giving up the leotard. Dabbing at her bleeding heel, she shrugged. So far this was the only negative on the boyfriend list and the positives were amazing.
Smiling, she tilted her head, listening for her amazing boyfriend. No sound made it through the open bathroom door. His phone had rung just as she’d started the shower. CJ had looked surprised when he’d looked at the ID, but had immediately said he needed to take the call. Not wanting to be nosey, she’d told him to join her when he could. Lathering the loofah, she scrubbed absently. Calls this late usually weren’t good news. She rolled her neck. Was it Teresa? His Ex had made it clear, in both body language and words, that she still considered CJ hers. There was nothing like a little competition to make a woman realize what she’d lost.
“Can I wash your back?”
Annie caught her breath at the sudden question. She hadn’t heard him come in. Stepping into the shower behind her, CJ held out his hand for the loofah.
“I’d like that,” she said, gathering her hair to get it out of his way.
“Sorry that took so long,” he said, scrubbing tight circles across her shoulder blades.
“No problem. I hope everything is okay. It’s kind of late.”
“It’s two hours earlier in Wyoming.”
“Mmmm … I didn’t think of that,” she murmured, enjoying the gentle scrape of the sponge.
“I’m not sure if you would classify him as a friend, or a colleague maybe, but anyway, another guide I know had contracted with some guys out of Los Angeles to help scout movie locations. His wife was in a car accident last night and is pretty busted up. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave her so he was calling to see if I was available.”
Her heart sank. Not knowing what to say to that, she kept silent.
“As much as I’d like to be here with you, it doesn’t make good business sense to turn down work this time of year.”
He’d mentioned that February and March were his slow months. Three-month cushion on the utilities or not, with them just into February he’d be foolish to turn down the money. Uncertainty was the only certainty when you were self-employed. Besides, he’d undoubtedly dipped into whatever savings he had to fly to Michigan. CJ kissed the slope of her shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Don’t be. You’re right. It’s a good opportunity for you. It could lead to more work in the future.”
“Bill made the point that he’s not getting any younger and that it’s good to have someone to refer clients to. That could be a sly old dog manipulating me, but this isn’t the first time he’s had to send someone my way,” CJ said, slowly working the sponge down her spine.
Glad her head was down, she nodded.
“It wouldn’t make sense not to do it.”
“It’s only four or five days, depending on if they like what they see. We’ll talk then, see where you are with your book promotion, and go from there.”
Getting on the small plane in Sheridan had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She’d left a part of herself behind. Hours had felt like days. How would days, maybe weeks, feel?
“When do you have to leave?”
“My flight leaves tomorrow morning at eight-fifty.”
The soft press of his lips on her nape made the lump in her throat swell. This conversation was just a courtesy. He’d already made reservations. Her nails dug into her palms at the tightness in her chest. Why did people thi
nk relationships were so great? They hurt.
“If we make it out of bed, I’ll take you to breakfast on the way to the airport,” she whispered.
CJ pressed against her back, his lips finding that spot behind her ear.
“With our track record, I won’t count on it.”
CJ had been right. They’d stayed in bed, the neon numbers on the alarm clock taunting them until they were out of time. Thank God for The Great American Bagel location near his terminal. She tore a tiny piece off, dabbing it in the cream cheese. It held little appeal, but CJ had insisted she eat something. Was pining a recognized weight loss program? A girl could hope. CJ wasn’t off his feed. Breakfast sandwich in one hand and coffee in the other, he was double-fisting it.
“You need to eat.”
Giving him a mollifying smile, she popped the piece in her mouth.
“Annie, I’m serious. I need you to take care of yourself.”
His worry made her heart twinge with guilt.
“I have to stop at the grocery store on the way home. I’ll stock up on the comfort foods. Promise.”
His thumb brushed the corner of her mouth, coming away with cream cheese on it. Visible through his dark beard, lines creased the corner of his mouth. Her heart sank. Things had been different between them here, and now he was unhappy.
“What’s comfort food for you?”
It wasn’t the question she’d expected. Brushing crumbs off her scarf, she gave herself a moment to think.
“Chocolate, of course, umm … fried chicken, potatoes in any form, and Cool Ranch Doritos.”
“That’s an interesting combination,” he mumbled around his last bite.
She couldn’t help but smile and shake her head at him.
“I don’t usually eat them all at once, but I might this time—with a margarita chaser.”
Pitching his trash, CJ pulled her into his arms.
“If we both want this badly enough, we’ll find a way to make it work.”
Annie’s stomach rolled. If loomed awfully large in that sentence. He’d said they’d talk in a week and figure things out. After being joined at the hip for the last ten days, a week apart was a lifetime. Was this goodbye?
“I want this,” she whispered against his shoulder.
“So do I,” he said, kissing her temple. “We’re two smart, determined people that love one another. If we put our hearts and minds to it, we can find a way.”
Swallowing a sob, Annie pressed tighter to him. One more if and she was going to lose it.
They called his flight. She took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of sandalwood and leather. Saved by the call once again. Giving him one last squeeze she tried to step back, but CJ didn’t let go. Cupping her cheek, he tilted her face up for a kiss. It was slow and drugging. By the time they came up for air, Annie felt boneless. He leaned his forehead into hers.
“Trust us,” he said, his voice rough with the desire she could feel pressed against her belly.
She nodded, clearing her throat in an effort to answer him. It didn’t work. She nodded again and stole another kiss.
“Call me. Be safe,” she croaked.
Kissing her forehead, CJ hugged her one more time. Shouldering his carry on, he went through the gate. She watched him until he was out of sight, her heart shattering. If she’d thought leaving was bad, being left was so much worse. Her fingers tangled painfully in the strap of her purse. The credit card inside whispered its insidious siren call. It would be so easy to follow him. And so pointless. What was she thinking? He had a job. She rubbed her temple, fighting against the oncoming tears and the throb of her head. Ten days. They’d known one another ten days, and already he made her want to forget everything else. Was that even healthy? Where was the line between attraction and obsession?
“Is everything okay, ma’am?”
Blinking at the bright green coat in front of her, Annie backed away. Other people slowed their airport rush, looking her way in morbid curiosity. Everything was in slow motion. Feeling herself sway, she shuffled her feet into a wider stance. She needed to get out of here.
“I’m sorry. Yes. I’m fine,” she said, trying to smile at the airport’s customer service ambassador. “I’m just feeling a little lost without him already.”
The whispered admission surprised her, but the other woman nodded sympathetically.
“I understand. Hopefully, it will be a short separation.”
Annie could only nod at the kind words, praying it was true. She backed up another step, bumping into a chair. Waving a shaky thanks, she whirled and headed for the parking lot. Her anxiety heightened with each step until she was running for the door. The tightness in her chest made her breath come in harsh pants. A boy wandered in front of her, dragging a large suitcase on a leash. She missed the kid but caught the luggage with the side of her leg. Stumbling, she threw an apologetic glance at the glaring mother.
The doors opened in front of her, a swirl of snow and welcome cool air sweeping in. Sucking in desperate gulps, she lunged for the opening. An elderly couple struggling with luggage and winter coats suddenly blocked her escape. Her heart was hammering. Skidding on the wet tile, she squeezed past them and to freedom. A swinging briefcase slammed into her thigh, spinning her around on the sidewalk. A cry of pain burst past her lips.
“Sorry!” the man called, reaching for her.
Annie jerked back, stepping off the curb. Her butt connected with the front end of a parked cab.
“Are you okay?”
Ignoring the cabbie’s concern, she shakily skirted the traffic and broke into a run for the parking lot. Cars faded in and out around her. She needed to sit down. If she could just make it to the safety of her Jeep. Keys. The key fob would help her find it. Her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t even work the zipper on her purse. A familiar blur of orange saved her. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes at the Chicago Bears license plate. Annie and her mom had bought the decorative accessory for her dad’s new Jeep, replacing the battered one he’d had for years. He’d made no excuse for not following his home state’s team. The Lions sucked.
Leaning against the side of the vehicle, Annie plunked her purse on the hood and rested her head on top of it. Dark spots danced in front of her eyes and breathing was getting harder. The shuddering gasps were loud in her ears. Groping blindly for the zipper, she worked the purse open. Her fingers found everything but the keys she needed. Shaking the bag in frustration, she bit her lip against the scream clawing at her throat. Something jangled as she slumped back against the cold metal SUV. Patting her coat pockets, she pulled out the missing keys.
She flung her purse at the passenger seat and put her head down on the steering wheel. Concentrating on the breathing techniques she’d learned years ago, Annie fought the panic attack. She was safe. No one was watching. Everything was going to be okay. God, she wanted her dad. Or CJ. CJ’s arms would feel so good right now. He’d hold her and know just the right thing to say. She could feel the melodic rumble of his voice, and the warm whisper of his breath against her ear. Tears rolled hot over her cheeks. All she wanted was to be held. She was pathetic.
Fingers biting into the steering wheel, she rocked against the tide of fear and loathing. The image of CJ squatted down beside her chair at the restaurant flashed on the inside of clenched eyelids. ‘Look at me,’ he’d said, rubbing her back and making everything around them disappear. She tried to focus on him. He was too good for her. The thought hurt. Had he realized that? The couple of days here had seemed different. There was no question that the physical attraction had still been there, but some of the ease and laughter had been missing.
She rubbed at her chest. Was she different here? Was it the book stress? Was it Grand Rapids? CJ was a true country boy. While this wasn’t New York or Los Angeles, CJ thought of Sheridan as a large town. You were talking less than twenty thousand to almost two hundred thousand. That was a big jump. She wiped away tears, still rocking through the lessening tension
. He hadn’t even hesitated when given a chance to go back to Wyoming. Had it been purely a business decision? Even she had to admit it was the right decision when you looked at it that way. CJ’s work was important to him. One romantic relationship had already lost out to it. It was a sobering thought, but the truth.
Shivers wracked her tense muscles. Forcing herself to sit up, she managed to get the key in the ignition. Burrowing her nose in her scarf, she tucked her stiff fingers between her thighs. The neon numbers on the clock told her it had been almost twenty minutes since CJ’s plane departed. Where had the time gone? Her seat started to warm before the air. Snuggling back against it, she tried to ease the ache and cold. She longed for the comfort of her pajamas and a warm blanket. The attacks always left her tired.
By the time the vents were putting out hot air, she’d pulled herself together enough that she could drive. As big of an appeal as home held, she knew she had to grab at least the necessities from the store. A mental list formed as she carefully exited the airport’s maze of parking lots and drives. Chicken, potatoes, iced tea, chocolate, eggs, Doritos, ice cream, milk, and cereal. Nothing like sharing your blanket fort with Captain Crunch.
Cocoa. The word slipped in like a Stealth Bomber and packed as big of a punch. She thought about the rich, creamy cocoa made with so much care and love. Her mouth and eyes watered. He’d warned her that she would be spoiled. Annie wondered if he knew how right he was. CJ Barrett had spoiled her. Nothing was the same without him.
CJ scratched behind Topper’s ear, breathing in the comforting scent of warm horse and hay. Aries stretched from the neighboring stall and nuzzled the side of his head.
“I missed you too,” he said, cupping her dark muzzle and rubbing his cheek against hers.
The buckskin put her head over his shoulder in a move CJ always thought of as a horse hug. He leaned into it. The quiet of the barn was a balm to his chaotic mind. He’d done nothing but second guess himself since he’d stepped onto the plane in Michigan. Every minute with Annie, every conversation with her or her family had been torn apart and scrutinized. He still didn’t have any answers. Hell, he wasn’t even sure of all of the questions.
Why not Wyoming? (Wyoming Wilds Series Book 1) Page 18