“Your hubby,” Annie repeated with a grin. “That’s so adorable, Mrs. Barrett.”
“I love that!” Crystal squealed. “Seriously, he is just the best. I’m the luckiest woman alive.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear. I’m so happy for you, Crys.”
“Thank you. Now, fill me in on everything I missed.”
“Why would you want to hear about me when you just got back from paradise? I want to hear everything,” Annie demanded.
“Nice try with the deflection, but I know your tricks. Besides, what is there to say about my honeymoon? We had sex, we ate, we had sex, we swam, and we had more sex. I think you get the idea.”
“Are you bow legged?”
“Maybe just a little bit,” Crystal said, smugly. “Now, spill!”
“I don’t know what you want to hear.”
“Yes, you do. I know you stayed in Wyoming for an extra week. I want details!”
Falling over onto her back on the bed, Annie twisted a strand of hair around her finger. What to say? We had mind blowing sex. We saw the sights, and we had … no, we made love—again and again. Her heart swelled. She was in love. No matter how primal, it hadn’t been just sex. She bit her lip. Why was she suddenly shy? This was Crystal she was talking to. She blew out a slow breath.
“I only ended up being able to stay an extra three days. I flew back Friday morning for a launch party.”
“A lot can happen in three days.”
Crystal was so much smarter than people gave her credit for.
“It would seem that Barrett men are irresistible,” Annie admitted with a small grin.
“That they are,” Crystal said, a huge grin evident in her voice. “Keep talking.”
Annie laughed. It felt so good. She wished Crys was lying on the bed next to her like all those times they’d talked about boys over Doritos.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too. Even more than I thought I would. I wish I was there but for now, get comfy and tell me about this man who has stolen your heart.”
Purple fleece blanket snuggled against her cheek, Annie closed her eyes and let the story flow. The words poured out, tumbling over one another as she tried to express feelings long dormant in her. She sounded like a teenager gushing over her first love. Maybe in a way she was. When Brad had left for the Army after her junior year, she’d thought her heart would break. The intensity of her feelings for CJ showed that her parents had been right, she hadn’t known what love was in high school. Happiness gave way to fears as the words slowed.
“I really love him, Crys. What if he doesn’t love me, or want me for me?”
Her voice broke, a dry throat and emotions working in tandem to trip her up.
“Are you crazy? Who wouldn’t love you?” Crystal asked.
“You, of all people, know who I am. I’m not easy to like, let alone love, and I don’t have a great history of holding onto men.”
“Honey, Brad wasn’t a man. He was a boy that went from star running back to Private Peon and had no idea how to handle it. You tried to hold onto him, but you were both kids. Then you lost your mom and dad and no one knew what to say, or how to help you. Fair or not, you grew up overnight. He couldn’t keep up.”
Annie’s eyes opened to slits in the shadowy room. When had she started underestimating Crystal? The words swirled in her head. They made too much sense to ignore. The memories and feelings of inadequacy weren’t going to disappear, but her cousin’s fresh perspective gave her something to think about. Leaning over the side of the bed, she fished her water bottle out of her purse. Luke warm or not, the liquid was a balm to her dry mouth and throat.
“Are you okay?” Crys asked softly.
“Yeah. I’m just wondering when you got so wise.”
“I don’t know about wise, but Tyler has been encouraging me to share what I’m thinking, even if I’m afraid it sounds dumb or it isn’t what he wants to hear. I guess it has been bleeding over to other people too. My mother isn’t too sure about the new me.”
“I knew I liked Tyler,” Annie said smugly. “He’s right. The world is no longer listening and judging every word that comes out of your mouth, dearest contestant from Michigan. Tell us how you really feel.”
“I’m not sure the world is ready for that,” Crys joked. “Seriously though, we talked more on our honeymoon than I think we did the six months leading up to it. Just talked. Weird, right?”
“Not really. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone as much as CJ and I’ve talked. Maybe it’s a Barrett thing.”
“That’s a sexier explanation than suspecting your husband read one of those Cosmo quizzes on communication,” Crystal said with a laugh. “So, anyway, CJ followed you home and crashed your party, but then had to fly out the next day?”
“We spent all day Saturday together, and I took him to the airport Sunday morning.”
“But you believe him that he got an unexpected job offer he just couldn’t refuse?”
Annie frowned at the question.
“Yes. Why would he lie to me?”
“I’m not saying he did.”
Her stomach lurched and Annie hugged the blanket tighter.
“You think he planned an exit call?”
“That isn’t what I said. I was asking what you believe. You know him better than I do.”
“I don’t think CJ would lie to me.”
“Then why do you think he’s lying about his feelings for you?”
Annie pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it. The caller ID still showed Crystal.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my cousin?”
“Maybe it’s just my turn. You’ve always been there for me,” Crystal said simply. “If you’ve done as much talking as you say, why are you afraid to talk to him now?”
“I don’t know,” Annie whispered. “The ‘we need to talk’, and the current game of phone tag we’re playing, aren’t helping. Or maybe it’s just that he’s so amazing that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for me to screw this up somehow. I’m not sure what he sees in me.”
“Maybe he sees someone that is smart, successful, funny, and pretty. And if he makes the effort to be your friend, he’ll find they don’t get any more loyal than you.”
“Now you’re just kissing ass.”
“I am not. Every word I said is true. Tyler said that CJ has been hurt. Maybe it’s not the same kind of hurt or loss as yours, but I’d bet that he has his walls to scale too. You already admitted that you love him. Isn’t it worth a little worry and work to see where it could go?”
Burrowing her nose back in the blanket, Annie let thoughts of Teresa, Austin, and CJ’s love of Wyoming chase around with her fear and doubts. Her voice was muffled, but she answered truthfully.
“I honestly can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do at this point. I think that is what scares me the most.”
Trudging up the stairs in his stocking feet, CJ pulled out his phone and checked the time. Almost eight in Wyoming meant ten in Michigan. He groaned, eyes flicking between the bed and the bathroom. A hot shower sounded like heaven, but he really wanted to talk to Annie. He looked at the time again. Seven-fifty. Pulling up her name he sent a quick text. Made it home. Give me ten minutes to shower and I’ll give you a call. His phone chimed before he could put it down. Take your time. I’ll be waiting. He grinned. The thought of her waiting promised he’d hurry.
The hot water felt fantastic on his weary body. Turning his back into the spray, he reached for the soap. Compared to a lot of trips, it hadn’t been a physically taxing day at all, but it had been a struggle to stay focused and mentally sharp. He wasn’t used to that. Every chance it got, his mind had wandered back to Annie. He loved her. That wasn’t in question. Unfortunately, he was still wrestling with the idea of giving up everything. His dad’s reminder that relationships were a two-way street echoed in his head. He’d worked damn hard on this place and building up the business.
Walking away from it now just felt wrong.
Blunt fingers dug into his scalp as he scrubbed his short hair. Forty minutes outside of town had proved too far for Teresa. That was leaving a population of four thousand. Annie lived in the middle of a metropolis that boasted almost two hundred thousand. How could she be happy in his mountains? Tough and buff Boone had married a woman from Billings. She’d lasted eight months before packing up and heading home. That didn’t give a guy like him much hope.
Towel wrapped around his thick waist, CJ looked in the mirror. At a shade over six-foot and pushing two-sixty last time he was on the scales, the weight charts said he was obese. He patted his stomach. At least it was solid, but it was more keg than six-pack. The shit thing was, he was in good shape. He could hike all day in mountainous terrain carrying sixty pounds of gear. It was more than he wanted to haul, but being a guide sometimes felt like being a mommy. The point was, he couldn’t be out of shape and do his job.
Shaking his head, he pitched the towel and pulled on boxers, shorts, and a t-shirt before flopping on the bed. He could starve himself, manage to lose twenty pounds and no one could tell. Or he could be happy. It seemed like a no-brainer. Or at least it had until he’d met Annie. He’d actually had a side salad instead of a baked potato tonight with dinner. Who did that? He had it bad. Stuffing a pillow behind his head, he hit the button for FaceTime. He needed to see her beautiful face.
“Oh my God it is so good to see your face,” she said in greeting.
CJ grinned, loving her smile even as she fussed with her hair.
“Damn, you’re beautiful.”
“No makeup, hair I didn’t blow dry, and pajamas. I’m sure I’m ravishing,” she said with a laugh.
“Trust me.”
“With those dimples how could I refuse you anything?”
“I need to remember to use them to my advantage,” he teased.
“Just be careful. With great power comes great responsibility. Use your super dimples for good.”
He laughed, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and kiss the playful smirk from her lips.
“Tell me about your day.”
“How did the scouting go?”
Their words tumbled over one another making them laugh again. How he’d missed that sound.
“You first,” he insisted.
“After I heard your voice, the rest of the day went well,” she confessed, shyly brushing hair behind her ear. “The library is always fun. Cami thinks it’s small time, but they hosted my first signing and it’s like having coffee and donuts with a bunch of old friends. I always see former classmates, teachers, neighbors; the kind of people you lose touch with. We ended up with a hundred and forty-six this year, plus the staff. That’s a new record.”
“People respect it when you don’t forget where you came from, or the people that helped you. Good for you.”
“Thank you. I agree.”
She stared at him through the screen. Her lips quirked slightly. CJ wished he knew what she was thinking. He was just getting ready to ask when she continued.
“The other two signings went well. The turnout at the bookstore in town surprised me, with already having the thing at the library that morning. With it being at noon, a lot of people came in on their lunch breaks. The hometown pride is humbling,” she said, dropping her gaze. He thought he could make out a blush in the dim light. “Detroit was umm…big. They publicized the crap out of it and raffled off some sweet swag bags. I’m still not used to having the big corporate machine working for me. It was crazy.”
“But you made it through.”
“I had to imagine you holding my hand more than once, but I made it.”
“I’m proud of you. It takes guts to face your fears and keep pushing your dream to the next level. “
“Or it could be that I’m just really lazy and don’t want to have to get a real job,” Annie whispered.
“Someone needs to learn to accept a compliment.”
“Sorry,” she said, hanging her head again. “I’m bad about that.”
“I have a hard time too,” CJ admitted.
“How did it go with the Hollywood crew?”
“They are actually super nice guys. We spent most of today in Ten Sleep Canyon. Tomorrow we’re going to check out a couple of lake locations up near Cloud Peak. They said to tell you they hope I’m not in too much trouble for missing your book signing and promised to send us autographed pictures, t-shirts and stuff.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, I guess I’ll have to forgive you,” Annie said, throwing up a hand in feigned defeat.
Even through the phone, the sparkle in her hazel eyes made his heart do funny things.
“I miss you,” he said, the morose words slipping out unbidden.
“I miss you too,” she said, sobering. “Should we talk about the stuff we need to talk about?”
“Probably,” he said, nodding slowly. “Before we’re interrupted again, or one of us nods off.”
Annie moved around on the screen, getting comfortable and wrapping her arms around her purple throw blanket.
“Okay. I think I’m ready.”
CJ rubbed his fingers over his bearded chin trying to decide how to start the conversation. He sighed. There was no easy way to talk about money.
“You were right this morning when you said that rare doesn’t mean never, but I do think we’re going to have to go about some things differently than most to make it work.”
He could see the confusion on Annie’s face, but she didn’t say anything.
“Are you willing to throw conventional dating etiquette to the side and just be blunt?”
She frowned but nodded resolutely. “I like blunt. Yes.”
CJ took a deep breath.
“I might not have a lot of money, but I resent the fact that your family and people think that I’m after yours,” he said, staring into the screen. “I love you, Annie. There’s not much I wouldn’t do to show that to you. I’m at a bit of a loss right now because part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and move to Michigan to be near you, and the other part is asking how in the hell I hope to support you there.”
There was so much more he wanted to say, but his voice faltered watching the emotions flit across Annie’s face. Confusion was replaced by dismay, followed by disbelief, then horror, and now if he wasn’t mistaken it was pure rage twisting her beautiful features into a mask he didn’t recognize. Shit!
“You want to talk about money?” she hissed, voice breaking. “That’s what this is about? What in the hell is everyone’s obsession with the almighty dollar? It can pay the bills, but it sure as hell doesn’t buy happiness. How can you think that it matters to me? How many times do I have to say that I would give back every cent? I would give everything, my life, if it just meant they were here. I loved them. They were better people than I will ever be. Maybe I should be glad they can’t see the way I turned out, but I don’t give a shit about money. How cou—”
“Annie, listen to me,” he interrupted, sitting up on the bed to hunch over the phone. Her pain and anger were ripping his heart out. He had to fix this. “I know that you loved your parents, and I think they would be very proud of the strong and beautiful woman that you’ve turned out to be. Maybe that came out wrong. All I want is to be able to take care of you. I’m never going to be rich. I just want to be able to put a roof over your head that you’re proud of. I want to provide for you and make you happy. More than anything, I want to be with you. Being halfway across the continent from you is killing me and it has been two days.”
“I miss you so much,” she whispered, voice breaking.
“Oh, baby, I miss you too. I wish I was there to hold you right now. I don’t want to fight. That’s not what this is about.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s my fault. I didn’t say it right. I was never blaming you. I’m just scared to death that I won’t be able to be the man you need and there’s not
hing in the world I want more.”
“I don’t need money,” she said, turning to grope for a tissue.
“We all need money,” he corrected as gently as possible. “And I understand that your family is trying to protect you. I hope you do too. It just pricked my pride that they would think that was what I was after. I want you.”
“They need to keep their nose out of my life,” she snapped, the anger reigniting.
“Your aunt and uncle, Crystal, Cami, I think they actually care and are trying to look out for you. Angie might just be a jealous bitch.”
Annie snorted at that and blew her nose.
“Cami too? I’m going to smack her. And when did you talk to my uncle, or Crystal for that matter.”
“Your beloved cousin threatened me at the airport before she left for her honeymoon.”
“She didn’t tell me that.” She smiled a little. “Tyler’s good for her.”
“I haven’t talked to your uncle. Angie said that the family has been talking. You’ve said more than once that your uncle is your go-to for financial matters. I figured if the family is concerned, he’d be involved.”
Her sigh whispered through the phone. CJ watched her hug the blanket she’d been pummeling.
“Okay. Since we’re being blunt, let’s just get this over with and put it all out of the table. Complete transparency.” Her mask slipped into place. “When my parents died I was their sole beneficiary. They both had two life insurance policies, the ones they had on each other and smaller secondary policies through their employers. On top of that, the auto insurance paid out for a vehicle fatality.”
She sounded like she was reading a report. How many times had she had to explain this? His heart broke a little more.
“The police found cocaine in the semi sleeper and, later, in the driver’s system so we sued the trucking company. I don’t understand how they put a price on lives. Apparently, they can. By the time that was settled, along with what seemed a million other details, I’d graduated high school. Since I was eighteen, and in no way ready for the responsibilities of upkeep, maintenance, taxes and everything else on a three-bedroom house and five acres, we put it up for sale.”
Why not Wyoming? (Wyoming Wilds Series Book 1) Page 22