by Holly Martin
Pip ran down to the lake’s edge, and yelled for Wren. Wren didn’t even turn around, either because she couldn’t hear Pip or she was too intent on getting to Blaze. Pip hesitated for a second and then stepped onto the ice. The ice didn’t give at all, incredibly taking Pip’s weight. She ran forward a few steps and then heard it crack beneath her feet. She froze, memories of that fateful day she had been trapped under the ice flooding back.
Just then Wren slipped on the surface of the ice and came crashing down on her side. She let out a wail of pain and the sound of ice splintering under Wren’s weight echoed through the early-morning silence. Pip ran forward a few feet, but the ice cracked again beneath her feet. She quickly lowered herself to the ice, spreading her arms and legs out wide to distribute her weight. The cracking stopped.
‘Wren, are you OK?’
Wren gave a little sob but she sat up to look at Pip.
‘Honey, can you lie back down for me and spread your arms and legs out wide like a snow angel?’
Wren sniffled a bit but obviously thought this was a fun game as she let out a little giggle and lay down on her front, arms and legs out, facing towards Pip.
‘That’s right. Now can you copy me and try to move towards me with your arms and legs as far out as you can?’
Wren did as she was asked, finding it a lot easier than Pip.
Pip started moving like a soldier, crawling along the surface of the ice, but with her arms and legs out wide, hoping she could get to Wren before either of them disappeared through the ice. She could feel the ice shifting slightly under her weight but it wasn’t cracking.
They started slowly closing the gap between them, though Pip was painfully aware of how far away from the edge she was getting. They were both too far to get any help now.
Blaze suddenly came back to Wren, jumping up and down, yapping and running round in circles, obviously thinking what Wren was doing was all part of some great game.
‘Blaze, no,’ Pip yelled but Blaze paid her no attention.
‘BLAZE, COME,’ yelled Luke’s voice from somewhere behind Pip and she could detect the fear in his voice straight away.
Blaze tore across the ice at his master’s command, which at least took some of the risk away from Wren. Pip continued her slow progress across the frozen surface towards Wren.
There were some shouts behind Pip and she knew that Gabe had arrived on the scene and by the sounds of it Luke was trying to stop him from coming onto the ice too. That was the last thing they needed, to add more weight to the already fragile surface of the lake.
She shuffled closer and Wren moved closer to her, giggling over how her tiny body slid over the surface with ease. When Wren let out a little ‘Wheeee’, Pip almost laughed herself. Almost.
She finally reached Wren, but she was so scared of breaching those last few inches in case the combined weight sent them both through the ice to their watery graves.
Suddenly a red and white rubber lifesaving ring skittered to a halt by their sides. It had a rope attached and she knew that Luke or Gabe would pull them both back to safety once they had hold of it, but Pip didn’t want to risk their combined weight breaking the ice. The thought of losing Wren under the ice was terrifying.
‘Wren, can you hold onto the ring, honey. Daddy will pull you back to safety.’
Wren slid over to the ring and wrapped her arms round it.
‘Hold on tight, honey.’
But to her surprise, the ring didn’t move.
She looked back at the bank where there was lots of shouting.
Boris was there, as were a few of the guests.
Both Luke and Gabe were yelling at her to grab the ring too. She shook her head but they were insistent.
Pip shuffled closer to the ring. She realised that Wren was dressed only in her pyjamas and she would likely get some kind of ice burn if she was dragged across the ice at speed.
‘Wren, climb on my back and wrap your hands around my neck.’
Wren did as she was told and the ice shifted beneath them. Pip quickly wrapped her arms around the life ring and yelled at Gabe to start pulling.
The life ring shot forward as both Luke and Gabe yanked at the rope and Pip and Wren shot across the surface of the ice at high speed. The sound of ice cracking behind them made Pip hold the ring tighter as Wren, clearly unaware of the dangers, screamed with joy and delight at the fun ride. The cracking was getting closer, following them, and Pip could feel her legs dip into the water on several occasions before she was yanked onwards.
‘Hold on tight, Wren, whatever happens don’t let go,’ Pip yelled, praying they would get back to the edge before the ice broke completely.
As they neared the edge, the boys carried on pulling so the ring slithered straight off the lake and onto the bank with her and Wren still holding tight. Wren leapt off Pip’s back, jumping up and down with glee at how much fun that had been. Pip sat up, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.
Gabe grabbed Wren by the arms. ‘What were you thinking? You know how dangerous the ice is, I’ve told you countless times.’
Wren’s smile faded from her face. ‘I know Daddy, that’s why I had to help Blaze. I didn’t want him to get hurt.’
Gabe pulled Wren into a big hug. ‘Don’t ever do that again. If you see Blaze or any other animal on the lake, you tell an adult and we’ll save them. Don’t go onto the lake alone, do you understand?’
‘Yes Daddy,’ Wren said, solemnly.
Pip was vaguely aware of Boris shepherding the guests away, but she still couldn’t draw in any breath, panic and fear slamming into her chest, memories of her past clouding her thoughts. She’d had many panic attacks after the accident but she’d not had them for years. It was stupid to have one now when they were both safe, but she couldn’t let go of how terrifyingly it could have gone wrong. The thought of Wren trapped under the ice like she had been all those years ago was paralysing. Pip still couldn’t breathe and she gasped and clawed at her chest desperate for the much-needed oxygen.
Luke took his coat off and wrapped it round her shoulders and Gabe looked over at her and paled even more.
‘Wren, can you go with Luke and make sure Blaze is alright,’ Gabe said, shifting to Pip’s side.
‘OK,’ Wren said and Luke scooped her up and threw her on his back, where she clung like a monkey. Luke flashed Pip a look of concern before he walked back to his house.
‘Pip, you’re OK and Wren’s OK, thanks to you. Just breathe,’ Gabe said.
But hearing him say that and knowing it was true was doing nothing to stop the tightness in her chest.
Gabe scooped her up and quickly carried her back to his lodge. He burst through the door and laid her down on the sofa. He knelt down by her side, holding her hand.
‘You’re safe baby, you’re OK,’ Gabe said, calmly. He scooted onto the sofa by her side and rolled her towards him. ‘Look at me. You’re safe with me. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.’
Pip knew he was right. Wren was safe. She was safe. As Gabe started breathing deeply through his nose and out through his mouth, she attempted to copy him. Slowly the tightness in her chest lessened and eventually she could breathe normally again.
‘I’m sorry,’ Pip muttered, feeling beyond embarrassed.
Gabe stared at her incredulously. ‘For what? Saving my daughter’s life? You were so brave, I can never thank you enough.’
‘For being pathetic. I’ve had panic attacks before, for months after the accident, every time I thought about getting trapped under the ice. But now all I could think of was Wren getting trapped like I did and it was crippling.’
Gabe’s face softened. ‘You have nothing to apologise for. That whole experience with your dad must have been terrifying and something like this must have brought it all back. I’ve had panic attacks too, remember. No amount of trying to be rational and logical can stop them.’ He kissed her head and wrapped an arm round her shoulders, pulling her onto his ches
t.
‘We need to get ready for work. It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow, I’m sure there’s lots to do.’
‘Work can wait, I’m staying here with you.’
Pip closed her eyes as she lay on his chest, trying to block out the images of her memories and now her new fears of losing Wren. Gabe wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
* * *
Pip woke a while later when Gabe carefully removed himself from underneath her, shifted off the sofa and went to the front door. It was just starting to get dark outside and Pip had evidently been asleep for most of the day. Whenever she’d had a panic attack when she was younger, she always felt exhausted for the rest of the day. She smiled when she realised that Gabe had stayed with her for the whole time.
She heard him open the door and heard Neve’s voice.
‘Hey, is Pip with you?’
‘Yeah, she’s asleep.’
‘Luke said she had a panic attack after what happened on the ice. Is she OK?’
‘Yes, it was pretty scary, she couldn’t breathe. She was scared of losing Wren under the ice. She’s OK now, but I wanted to stay with her.’
There was silence from both of them for a moment.
‘What’s wrong?’ Gabe said.
‘Look, I don’t suppose it makes a difference, you and Pip are together now and I don’t want to ruin that, but I think you should know. I’ve just had an email from The Tree of Life.’
Pip’s heart thundered in her chest.
‘About Mr Black?’ Gabe said.
‘Yes. Marcus Wright just emailed to say that one of their employees was here to write a review and they had paid for her to stay until the day after New Year’s Day. But their employee handed in the review yesterday along with their notice. Mr Black quit. The Tree of Life said that as their employee no longer works for them, they won’t be paying for the remainder of their stay and that the guest would have to pay for themselves.’
There was silence from Gabe before he finally spoke. ‘Did they give you a name? Did they tell you who Mr Black is?’
Pip cringed on the sofa, knowing that Gabe already knew the answer to his question.
‘Yes. It’s Pip.’
Chapter 22
Pip leapt up from the sofa and both Gabe’s and Neve’s eyes found hers accusingly.
‘I can explain.’
‘You’re Mr Black?’ Gabe said, incredulously.
‘Yes.’
His eyes turned to stone.
‘You lied to me. I asked you outright if you were Mr Black and you said no.’
‘I didn’t know. I swear. It was only—’
‘You didn’t know? The fortnightly article is called “The Black List”, how could you not know?’ Gabe said, his voice rising.
‘I never read it. I visit the hotels, I submit my reviews, I move on to the next hotel. I used to read it in the beginning, but they changed my sentences around so much and cut the reviews I had written and it used to annoy me, so I just stopped reading them in the end. They were paying for me to travel the world, so I just decided that they could do whatever they wanted with my words. I had no idea I was Mr Black.’
He looked away, angrily. God, what a mess, he was so furious and she couldn’t see any way to calm him down.
‘You came here to review Stardust Lake Hotel?’ Neve said.
‘Yes and as soon as I knew you guys were here I contacted The Tree of Life to say I couldn’t do the review, but they insisted.’
‘So you were never here to take photos,’ Neve said.
She shook her head, feeling horribly guilty about that lie.
‘You made me look a fool contacting Ocean View about your visit when they didn’t know anything about you. I looked unprofessional to them.’
‘You lied to both of us about that,’ Gabe said. ‘And the lies you told about being a photographer and travelling the world, are those photos you showed me even yours? What other lies have you told?’
Pip felt sick, everything was unravelling.
‘Of course the photos are mine. The travelling the world part was all true, the stories I told you about the hotels I stayed in, and the places I’ve been, that was true too. Did you honestly expect me to tell you the truth within minutes of me arriving? My job is supposed to be a secret, I never tell anyone.’
‘You’ve been here almost a week, you could have told me at any time,’ Gabe said.
‘Things were so weird between us and then I fell in love with you and I didn’t want to ruin that. I didn’t think it was really that important. I wrote the best goddamn review for this place that I’ve ever written. Me being a reviewer wasn’t going to impact you at all, so why risk what we had by telling the truth upfront?’
‘Because all the staff have been so worried about Mr Black and you could have put a stop to that at any time. Instead you let us carry on panicking about it.’
‘Don’t you think I would have told you if I knew I was Mr Black? I helped you to get everything ready for his arrival, I wanted this place to succeed as much as you did. I honestly didn’t know. It was only when you mentioned the food he likes to eat this morning that I realised. I was going to tell you after breakfast and then saving your daughter’s life kind of got in the way of that.’
‘I can’t be in a relationship with someone who lies to me. God, I trusted you. After you ran away twelve years ago, I never thought I could trust you again, but I did. I let you into my life and Wren’s and you betrayed that trust. I don’t even want to look at you right now.’
Pain sliced into her chest. He was breaking up with her.
He walked out of the door and slammed it behind him, taking Neve with him.
Pip stared at the door in horror. What the hell had just happened?
Tears filled her eyes. It was over.
The fear she’d had that it would end, that her heart would be broken and she would be alone again, slammed into her chest now.
Numbly, she went upstairs to pack. She put her suitcase on the bed and threw her few belongings into it. She’d never really unpacked, so there wasn’t a lot to put back in the suitcase. And now she was moving on again from the one place she wanted to call home.
She stared at the suitcase. Before she came here, everything important in her life was in that suitcase, but now the things that were the most important to her were Gabe, Wren and Juniper Island and she couldn’t take them with her.
She couldn’t help the sobs that escaped her throat. She wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Wren. She’d never see Gabe ever again. For the first time in her life she wanted to stay in one place and make a home. He was the only person who had ever made her feel like that and now he was willing to throw it all away. They were supposed to be together forever, how could he throw their relationship away like that?
Suddenly anger ripped through her. She wasn’t going to let him go without a fight.
She flipped up the suitcase and emptied the contents on the bed. She turned it back upright and looked at the empty bottom. She had never completely unpacked once in the ten years she had travelled the world and to see her clothes and belongings out of her suitcase and in the house where they belonged was suddenly a liberating release.
She looked up as Gabe arrived in the doorway. ‘Did you just say you loved me?’ he asked, quietly.
She had said that and it was true. She did love him with everything she had. Though clearly he didn’t feel the same way if he was willing to throw away what they had so easily.
His eyes glanced down to the suitcase on the bed and he paled. ‘You’re leaving? One argument and you’re running again?’ His voice was choked when he spoke.
‘You just said you couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who lies to you. You said you couldn’t even look at me.’
‘I didn’t mean… I just needed some space from you for a while. Christ, Pip. I can’t believe you’re running away after everything we’ve been through. Well, if our relationship means that little to you then
go. There’s a plane leaving for Edinburgh in half an hour, make sure you’re on it.’
Before Pip could say another word, he stormed away from her.
‘Gabe, wait,’ Pip said, chasing after him, but he was already charging down the stairs and a second later she heard the front door slamming behind him.
What the hell was wrong with this man?
She grabbed her coat and hat, pulled on her snow boots and stepped outside. It was already dark, snowflakes swirling through the sky, and although there were several guests milling about, going to dinner or heading towards the ice palace, there was no sign of Gabe or Neve.
She stormed into the reception and straight up the stairs that led to the offices. Though Adam was up there, there was no one else around.
‘Pip, are you OK? I heard what happened on the lake this morning, you’re a hero,’ Adam said, as he spotted her.
Obviously word hadn’t got round yet about her betrayal.
‘I think my hero status has been revoked. I need to see Gabe, any idea where he might be?’
Adam looked at his watch.
‘I’m not sure, maybe he’s having dinner.’ He stood up. ‘Are you OK, you look like you’ve been crying?’
Pip shook her head. She didn’t have time to get into the issues in her and Gabe’s relationship right now, and if she stopped to explain she’d only end up crying again.
‘Look, I’m not sure what’s happened, but don’t let Gabe push you away. He needs you. I’ve known him a very long time and quite frankly, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.’
‘I have no intention of letting him push me away. I just need to find him to tell him that.’ She flashed Adam a smile as she registered what he’d said. ‘Thank you.’