by LK Collins
Checking my phone, I missed a call from Tomas. It must have been when I was zoned out. Dialing him back, he answers on the first ring.
“You’re not gonna like what I found out.” This is not what I wanted to hear.
“What do you mean?” I ask, keeping my eyes on her house.
“She didn’t go through anyone that we know. I’ve contacted everyone and not one person has heard from her.”
“You think they’re telling the truth?” I ask.
“Why would they lie?”
“Maybe she paid them,” I offer.
“Nah, man, I don’t think so. I think she’s covering her tracks and covering them so well that you can’t find a trace back on her.”
“Well, I’m sitting in front of her house where some guy just drove off in a Mercedes, so she’s not that hard to find.”
“She’s with someone else?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
There’s a long pause before he asks, “Married?”
“I didn’t check. That was the last thing I was thinking, but my laptop is dead.”
“I can look.”
With my chin resting on the steering wheel, I shake my head and tell him, “I’m not even sure if I want to know.”
“Well, I’m here if you do, just call me. I don’t want to keep you on the line though.”
“Yeah, I gotcha.”
“Be safe.”
We hang up and I start my car as anger courses through my veins. Then the front door to her house opens and I freeze. My eyes are fixated on the little boy running around with a toy truck in his hand. Then…there she is.
All of the air is knocked from my lungs. She’s even more gorgeous than I remember. Her hair is so long now. She has big sunglasses on and is pushing a baby stroller out. And as I feared, on her left hand is a ring. It sparkles in the sun, and I know she is no longer mine.
The baby must be a girl as a pink blanket covers the stroller. She calls something to the little boy and he comes back to her, holding her hand as they walk together.
This is her family…
She walks away from me, a vision that I would give anything to be mine. Married with two children, her safely at home while I worked. Fixated on what I’ve lost, I watch her ’til I can’t see her any longer, then slowly ease my car to the stop sign that is directly in front of her house. Looking in the direction that she’s walking, there’s a park. I assume that’s where she’s going. I take my chances, turning in the opposite direction then navigating my way the best I can to a lot where I can park and watch her. I have to see more of her.
She’s alone right now. My mind races – this might be my best chance to talk to her, to make amends and apologize for giving up on her. It might be a terrible idea, but I’ve come this far and I can’t bear to leave without speaking to her. Pulling into the parking lot on the opposite side of the park, I grab my sunglasses and put them on. She’s sitting on a bench, alone, talking to the baby in the stroller as she rocks it back and forth.
Opening my car door, I get out and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing. I mean, honestly, what do I have to lose? As I begin to walk to her, my breathing is quick. If she looks up right now, she’ll see me, that’s for sure. The closer I get, the more nervous I become, then suddenly I’m caught off guard as a woman hands her an iced coffee and sits next to her. Nat accepts the drink, giving her a friendly hug, and I freeze not knowing what to do.
I can’t talk to her now, so I turn around and head back to the car. Getting inside, I see she is completely engrossed in conversation, so animated with her hand signals and happy as she smiles and laughs. I watch her for a while, hoping her friend will leave. She looks happy, still the most gorgeous woman in the world. After twenty minutes I know that I need to go.
Not wanting to, I force myself anyway. I don’t want to look like some sort of weirdo who watches children play. Backing out of the spot I’m parked in, my entire body aches for her. All I wanted was five minutes with her. That’s all I needed and it was stripped away.
Heading to my hotel, something in the back of my mind is telling me even though she’s married and has a family now, I still need to talk to her. Something is just not allowing me to let go of her until she knows how sorry I am.
Feeling uneasy about everything, I pull into a liquor store and buy the most expensive bottle of Scotch that they have. Forcing myself to not drink it immediately, I finish the drive and make my way up to my hotel room.
The second the door closes behind me, I crack the bottle, taking a swift drink and slide down to the floor. Wallowing in my pain, I take another swig and let myself break. What a horrible person I am – I turned my back on the only person I have every loved and now she’s built a life with someone else. A life that was meant for us.
Why do hotel rooms have carpet? I’m wondering that as my face is pressed against the floor and every part of my body hurts. Blinking a few times, my vision zooms in on the empty bottle of Scotch. I slammed it earlier in hopes of finding some relief, but all it did was knock me the fuck out, and now…here I am.
Forcing myself up, I lean back against the door. I have to get home. This just isn’t me and sticking around this town is only going to make things worse. The pain inside is already too much. But even knowing the right thing is to leave, I still have to see her before I go. I have to apologize. At least this is the shit I’m selling myself.
Standing up, the room spins and I take my time walking to the bathroom so I can splash some water on my face. As I hold the soft towel firmly against my skin, I take a deep look into my light eyes. I blink heavily. I can do this…I have to.
I pack everything into my bag and grab a bottle of OJ from the mini bar. The drive is quick, and on the way, I call Rocco.
“I’m about done with my research here, could you head this way?”
“I can. I’m in Breckenridge now, so it’ll take me at least an hour to drive to the plane, then I can call you before I depart so you have an ETA.”
“That sounds great, thank you.”
We hang up and I take the last swig of orange juice, feeling more hungover than I’ve been since high school.
Pulling down Natalene’s street, I lock eyes on her house. It’s lit up like the Fourth of July and I can see inside. Fuck, she’s not alone.
Thinking my way through this one, I wonder how in the hell I’m going to coax her out, or better yet, get her husband to let us talk. I could just walk up and hope she answers, or I could wait in hopes that one of them leaves.
Grabbing my file with her parents’ credit charges, I wish to hell my drunk ass would have charged my computer so I could look into her bank account and find out some of her routines. But I can’t.
Then my attention is diverted to the house as one of the garage doors opens and a white car pulls out. It’s Nat. I watch her back down the driveway and start my car, following her, keeping a safe distance, but knowing that this is my chance to talk to her alone.
Weaving through traffic, she seems to be driving fast. I make sure not to lose her. My body is filled with a nervous anxiety…finally after ten years, I’m so close. She slows, making a turn, and pulls into a gated community. I’m fucked.
But being determined as hell, I ride up on her ass, not caring if she sees me now. I have to stop her before she goes into someone else’s house. We roll through the gate together, and I don’t let her get far away from me before she pulls into a covered parking spot that says, Reserved.
Finding a parking spot, I turn my car off. I watch her, wondering why she hasn’t gotten out of her car yet. Wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans, I get out and head towards her. She’s looking right at me in the rearview mirror and then slowly gets out of the car, standing there with a stunned look on her face as I approach.
“Micah?” she asks, as I put my hands into my pockets.
Resisting the urge to slam her body against the car with mine and kiss her with a decade’s worth of passion, I respond, “Hi, Nat,” c
ompletely mesmerized by her beauty.
She shakes her head like she doesn’t believe it’s me, and I can’t stop myself from stepping even closer and taking one hand to brush her hair out of her face. I need to see all of her. As I reach towards her she reacts in a way that catches me off guard and slaps my hand away. “No!” she shouts.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, not even sure how to act myself, holding both palms up facing her.
“Leave, Micah.”
“What?” This was honestly not what I expected.
She steps to me and looks me in the eye. “You heard me. I want you to fucking leave.”
I shake my head as she crosses her arms over her chest. Looking down at the ring on her hand, I know I’ve got everything wrong. Wrapped around her delicate finger is the ring that I bought for her. The ring that I gave to her, when I promised her that we would spend forever together, no matter what.
Touching it lightly, she pulls her hand away and says, “Leave.”
“You’re wearing my ring,” I proclaim.
She shrugs her shoulders, like it’s not a big deal. But to me it is. After ten years apart, the fact that she’s still wearing it shows me that she still holds on to hope for us. I take her face in my hands as all of the pieces to the puzzle come falling together. She isn’t married. She waited for me. I know I’m right. I take a half-step closer to her, the tips of our shoes touching. A flame erupts from within me bringing Micah back to life.
“Please don’t,” she begs, but my cock is throbbing so hard that nothing could stop me in this moment.
Molding my lips over hers, I hold her face to mine, fiercely knotting my fingers into the back of her hair. It takes every ounce of self-control to stay slow and contained in this moment. Her kiss awakens me. After all this time apart, who knew it could feel so amazing? My body covers hers as her back is pressed firmly into the back of her car. She’s not fighting me. Not at all. She’s welcoming this as much as I am. I remember when we used to fuck around, as long as I could get my lips on hers, she would calm the way a kitten does when being held by the scruff of their neck.
As I pull away, her breathing is heavy and tears are in her eyes. My cock is pressed into her pelvis while my mind drifts to what we used to have. To how it used to feel to fuck her, to be inside of her. “Not here,” she says, holding my body away from hers.
I fear losing her again, but she grabs my hand and wraps hers around mine so tightly that the gesture settles me. I follow behind her as she walks with a purpose into an apartment building and then up a flight of stairs. Taking her key, she slides it in the door. My palm is sweaty against hers and I ask, “Is this where you live?” She nods her head. “Alone?”
But before she answers me, or I can mind fuck myself anymore trying to pull the puzzle together, we are in her apartment. I lock the door just as Nat throws herself at me. My hands roam her body, feeling every bit of her while our mouths connect. It almost hurts to kiss her again, to be doing this with her, every sensation is so intense.
Taking her hands, she holds my face, and then grinds her pussy against my cock. I groan, pushing against her – the passion after all this time is still here. Taking one of my hands down, I reach for her thigh, lifting her leg and helping her to better push against me.
Kissing her like a maniac, I grind our bodies together. She tilts her head back, still holding on to my neck. The sight of her so lost in this moment, and finally being together with her, means more than I can explain. Leaning into her neck, I get a sweet smell of her scent. Nothing has changed. She smells exactly the same as I remember.
Devouring her wildly, I can’t help but suck on her skin and even grab some between my teeth. She whimpers and says, “Fuck me, Micah.”
It takes us less than twenty seconds to get naked. Still standing in the same position as before, I hold her leg with one hand and guide my cock inside of her tight cunt with the other. Tightening my thighs and ass cheeks to control the pleasure, I look into her eyes as my cock finally goes home.
“So wet,” I whisper.
“Only for you,” she says with fire blazing in her eyes.
Nuzzling in as far as I can, she looks down at me and gasps. Fearing that this moment will come to an end, I take my time, sliding my cock slowly in and out of her. So far out that the head of my shaft almost pops free. Then just as gingerly, I move back in. Gripping her thigh, I take my eyes from hers and watch our bodies together. She looks, too. My dick glistens from the slickness that exudes from her. Taking my time right now is not what she wants. She’s impatient and likes to be fucked.
Her eager body twitches against mine, trying to move on my shaft, but I keep a close grip on her thigh, holding her where I want her. I know if I fuck her too hard, I’ll come. And right now, I want this to last forever.
Taking one of her hands, she runs it up the back of my hair, then firmly knots her fingers into it. With such a hold on me, she begins to move her body. Feeling helpless, I grab her other thigh, lifting her body so that she is back under my control. With both of her feet off the ground, I look around her apartment and head to what looks like the bedroom.
Nat is lost, trying to fuck me, and I’m consumed with not coming. I need to get her somewhere that I can take control. Right now she’s having a free for all, and it’s not the way I want to do things. Kicking open the door to her all-white bedroom, I smile. White is my favorite color, not hers. Walking up to her bed, I toss her off of me and onto the mattress. She laughs, a sound that I have desperately missed.
I watch her slacked legs open to either side as her hand is on top of her sex and she begins pleasing herself. Hovering over her body, I let her do with herself as she likes. Taking a good look at her beauty, I grip both her tits in my hands and swirl my tongue around and then over one of her nipples. Her body arches into me, and I enjoy this, getting lost just like we used to.
“Please fuck me,” she begs.
I can’t help but chuckle. “Patience, baby.”
She gives me a stern look and grabs my cock. I freeze from her touch, knowing that now she has me and I’ve lost all my control. Stroking me vigorously, I lean up, watching her hands. One on me and the other on her. Knowing that I cannot stop, I scoot close to her mouth. She stops touching herself and rolls to her side, molding her lips around my shaft.
I grunt, reaching for her hair so I can hold her head in the place that I need, but quickly find that there is no point. Ferociously she attacks my cock; wet sloppy sucks with her lips followed by the tight pumps of her hand send shivers through my body.
My breathing is harsh and I fight to keep my eyes on her as my body falls. Barbarically, I grunt, giving her my cum. She swallows each pump and the release sets me on fire. Not able to control myself, I keep pumping over and over in her mouth. She looks up at me, giving my dick a few quick hard jerks and I shudder, coming again.
Out of breath but wanting more, I kneel next to her and reach down, feeling her cunt. Her body twists and contorts with my touch, and I remember that when I am with Natalene, neither of us has any control, all rules are off as things get lost in the lust-haze. Sliding two fingers into her cunt, I give her what she wants: a good fucking.
With her hair spread out around her, I watch what I’m doing to her. She twists and turns, moaning so loud that I feel sorry for her neighbors. Then…right as she’s about to let go, I pull away. Her eyes fly open, and she looks at me wildly, a mix of anger and desire.
“Patience,” I repeat, knowing how badly she likes to come.
She loves it when I push her there, then stop. Her body right now could explode from the touch of a feather, and that is Natalene’s greatest pleasure. Moving back between her legs, she knows what I’m going to do. She wants it. Her body needs it. She’s panting and ready for me…but I wait, leaving a few kisses here and there, blowing on her wet skin. Then I stroke my hard cock, rubbing the head all around her sex, wiping some cum that’s on the head on her, marking her, because even after all of
this time, she is still mine.
Looking at her wanting me, I can’t tease her anymore. Lining my dick up, I lift her ass in the air and slam into her. She cries out in pleasure, gripping the white comforter beneath her. Holding her hips in my hands, I fuck her, showing no mercy as my cock fills her, repeatedly pounding her over and over. Her screams fill the room and I can’t control myself, my balls tighten and my sweat-covered body rattles needing another release. I hold on to reality for as long as I can, not wanting to stop.
With Nat in my control, she is so gorgeous, and I wish that this time together would never end. But she shakes violently, screaming my name, and I let go, allowing my body to spiral with her coming in my grip, in my control, and from my cock.
Lying on top of Natalene, I breathe her in, fearing what is next for us. I fucked up abandoning her and now have to figure out how in the world to make up for that, or if I even can. Kissing her soft skin over and over, I don’t want to move. I’m even afraid to look at her.
Her body seems lifeless beneath mine. There is no longer any affection, and as I trail my fingers down her arm to her left hand, where I fiddle with her ring, she pulls it away from me. I lean up looking into her eyes. Her face is red, her eyes are puffy and filled with tears. She closes them and I hold her face. “Please look at me, Nat.”
“You need to leave, Micah.”
“What?” I ask, upset. That is the last thing in this world that I want to do.
“You got what you wanted. You fucked me, now you can leave and let another ten years pass.”
“No, baby, please don’t think that. It’s not what I want. You know me, I would never come here with the intention to only have sex with you.”
“No, Micah, I don’t know you. The guy I used to know and fell in love with promised me the world and a future. Not—”
I cut her off, “I’m still that guy.”