Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark Book 4)

by Pepper Winters

  She was more than my world. She was more than my lover, best friend, and partner. She was the blood in my heart, the breath in my lungs, the fucking marrow in my bones. Without her, I wouldn’t exist. Without her, my body would be nothingness: no heartbeats, no mind, no man…no animal.

  Cutting off my thoughts, I refocused.

  The instructions I’d given her came back to mind.

  Dear Esclave,

  If you wish to please me, you will do the following. Do not dally or disobey. Do not touch yourself or do anything to displease me. Obey me, my dear Tess, and I will reward you.

  1. Shave your pussy until it’s bare and dripping

  2. Tie up your hair in plaited pigtails

  3. Dress in the provided blood-red lingerie you’ll find in the room

  4. Then wait

  5. And Tess…make sure your brand—the very one I marked you with—is visible and glowing with my possession

  I’m coming for you.

  Your Maître.

  My breathing slowed as I stopped outside the room where she waited.

  My bag brushed against my trouser leg, whispering with sinful promise. My hands shook slightly—not from fear but monstrous anticipation.

  I wanted my wife.

  I needed my esclave.

  I loved them both.

  Twisting the handle, I entered the room.

  The most beautiful scene welcomed me. Tess had gone one step further. She’d swept up her hair, dressed in the sexy lingerie, and attached the diamond collar with a tag marking her as mine. The brand was covered, but the collar did the same thing—letting me know she was totally under my control.

  I didn’t know she brought that here.

  The collar had been an anniversary gift two years ago.

  Her grey-blue eyes glanced my way. Blonde hair cascaded over one, catching on her black eyelashes. She’d done what I asked and plaited the long length into two messy pigtails. However, soft tendrils escaped the imprisonment.

  My cock punched my belt.

  I dropped my bag.

  I love you, Tess. And I’ll tell you what I’m lying about. Soon.

  “You obeyed me.”

  Her head bowed, her legs spreading wider, revealing the gift I worshiped daily between her legs. “I did. I look forward to my reward.”

  My lips curled; the darkness enveloped me. The beast inside stretched, unsheathing its claws, lengthening its spine in preparation.

  I stalked toward her and fisted her hair. I fell more in love than I already was.

  This woman made me come alive. This woman would end up killing me. But my life was already hers, and I would die gratefully on the pyre of her affection.

  “Tu connaiss les règles, esclave.” You know the rules.

  “What rules, maître?”

  “You don’t get your reward until you’ve been punished.”

  Her gaze glittered with rebellion and retaliation but not one ounce of fear—the perfect cocktail for a bastard like me. “Go ahead. You’ll never break me.”

  “Ah, my sweet, sweet Tess. That might be the case…” I nipped at her bottom lip. “Mais ça ne m'empêchera pas d’essayer.” But it won’t stop me from trying.

  Dropping the black bag by her spread legs, I tugged on her right plait. “Up.”

  Unfolding immediately, she stood quivering before me. Her chest rose and fell, imprisoned in the dark red bra I’d handpicked for her. Her flat stomach shadowed with faint bruises from previous nights, and I traced the bite mark I’d left on her hipbone after our parlour games.

  I wanted to do what I’d planned now. To get it over with before she could have second thoughts. But I restrained myself. Anticipation would make it that much sweeter.

  Gripping her jaw, I kissed her with a wet-as-fuck dominating kiss before pushing her backward to the bed.

  She obeyed every prompt. Falling onto the bedspread, she watched me with desire-glittering eyes.

  This room was very much like our assigned accommodation, only smaller. The fireplace roared with heat and the four-poster bed hung with midnight blue drapery rather than forest green.

  My jeans and t-shirt became too tight as my body prepared to tease and torture.

  Tess squirmed on the mattress as I moved toward her and yanked her up the bed by her arms. The moment she was in the middle, I uncoiled a piece of Japanese silk rope from my pocket and looped it around her wrist.

  With a sharp smile, I secured her to one of the four bedposts.

  It was a risk tying her down like this. After all, she’d done the same to me when I’d given her my nightmares to hopefully break hers. However, no memory of that day hovered in her gaze. Her skin already flushed with lust as I fastened her other wrist and moved toward her ankles.

  She didn’t speak—she was too well trained—but her eyes never left my ministrations.

  She gasped as my fingers ran around her ankle, cupping her heel protectively before wrenching her legs apart and securing them as tight as her wrists.

  Once finished, she lay spread-eagled with no hope of escape.

  I stood and surveyed my fucking delicious woman. The lingerie barely hid her bare pussy, shadowing it in red lace while her bra couldn’t hide the pinpricks of nipples begging me to bite.

  Running a fingertip from her instep to her clit, I murmured, “So pretty and no chance of running. What shall I do with you?”

  Her hands fisted, her lips parting with breath. “Anything…do anything you want.”

  “Anything?” My fingers pinched her pussy, indenting her soft flesh with the lace protecting her.

  She gasped, white cheeks flushing so prettily. The scrap of material couldn’t hide how wet and hot she was, drenching the delicate underwear.

  Her desire matched mine.

  I was rock-fucking-hard for her.

  “I’ll give you a choice, Tess.” Rubbing her pussy, I pressed hard and swift. “Pain or pleasure first? You make the call.”

  Her back bowed as I stabbed at her entrance, prevented from entering her by the lacy garment. Soon, that bastard chastity belt would be sliced away. But for now, it kept me focused. Gave me a barrier I wasn’t permitted to break.

  Her eyes switched from dove-grey to dark blizzard. “Pain…I pick pain first.”

  I shook my head, stealing my hand from her core and bending to unzip my black bag. “Wrong choice.”

  “But you said—”

  I smirked as I kept what I’d pulled from the duffel hidden and prowled to a wall socket by the bedside table. Luckily, the cord was long enough.

  We hadn’t played with this toy before. But I’d heard good things.

  Once attached to the electric source, I kept the device behind my back and repositioned myself between my wife’s spread legs.

  “I know what I said. But I’m the master here. Not you. And I’ve decided to give you pleasure first.” I bared my teeth. “Or at least…the hint of pleasure before I hurt you.”

  Her ribcage stood in stark relief as she sucked in a harsh breath.

  She didn’t ask questions or demand to know what I had planned because she knew me too well. I wouldn’t answer. I’d only show her.

  My fingers tightened on the gift behind my back. “Do you know what this is, esclave?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  No? That was surprising. She’d told me about her dildo collection back when she was with Brax. Her battery-operated friends were the only things delivering an orgasm while she wasted her talent on a loveless wonder who believed kissing should be done with the lights off and clothes firmly tucked tight.

  He didn’t know this woman at all.

  But I did.

  I knew her sometimes better than I knew myself.

  Caressing the large contraption with a soft bulbous end and flexible neck, I switched it on. A loud humming filled the space. Holding it up for Tess to notice, I smirked. “I believe it’s called a magic wand.”

  Her eyes grew round as I cranked up th
e speed. The tingle of hypnotic vibration shot down my hand.

  Interesting.

  Experimenting, I placed the end against my cock through my jeans.

  “Fuck!” Instantly, I wrenched it away, doubling over with the overload of intensity from the mere touch. Echoes of vicious need radiated down my legs and into my belly.

  Tess bit her lip, fascinated and imploring.

  I chuckled as I rested my knees on the bedspread. “Oh, I think you’re going to like this.”

  She nodded; her face glazed and sex-soaked. I hadn’t even touched her yet, but she’d panted herself into subspace.

  Hovering the vibrating wand over her body, I tortured her a little by pressing it against her ribcage, hipbone, and upper thigh. Anywhere and everywhere but the one place she desperately craved.

  Each time I touched her, a moan fell from her lips. Her legs writhed and her fingernails dug sharply into red-flushed palms.

  “Do you want this?”

  “Uh-huh…” Her eyes rolled as I carefully swiped over her pubic bone.

  “How much?”

  Her voice strangled. “So much.”

  “Will you fight for it?”

  Her eyes opened, struggling to keep me in focus. “Fight?”

  “Will you beg for it?”

  A calculating gleam entered her gaze. “Do you want me to beg for it?”

  My cock lurched as she licked her lips.

  Her face tensed. “The day you accepted me, I promised I’d fight you, Q. For years, I’ve never given you complete control over me. You have limits, but you don’t trust yourself not to cross them.” Her eyes drifted down my front to my erection stabbing at my belt. “However, I give all of that up. Right now. I won’t fight. I won’t argue. I’ll let you do anything you damn well please. Just let me come so I can focus on the rest of the night without going out of my mind.”

  I leaned over her, hovering the wand over her pussy. “You’re going out of your mind?” The low setting hummed with promise. I wanted to see how fast this would make her climb. How quick she could come before I denied such a release.

  “Every time you bind me and tease me, I go out of my mind.”

  I smiled. “I love your honesty. How about one more truth?”

  She stiffened, her hips rocking subtly. “Anything.”

  “Tell me why I do this. What do I want from you?”

  She paused, breathing hard. “Everything.”

  I shuddered. She was so damn right. I did want everything. And for years, I thought I had everything. But now…now, I was missing something. We were missing something. And I wanted to find it with her.

  My heart raced like a demonic creature, bucking for touch and taste and togetherness.

  “You earned this, Tess.” Pressing the wand against her clit, I held it there.

  Immediately, she let out a ragged groan. Her hips rose to force her flesh harder against the unforgiving vibration. “Yes…oh, God. Yes.”

  “Let yourself go. Let yourself fly. I want to watch you come undone.”

  Her head thrashed to the side as her forehead knitted together. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  Whatever I want?

  That offer came with no caveats or conditions.

  It should.

  Tess said she hadn’t fully given herself to me. She had. She’d given me her ultimate trust. Trust that I didn’t deserve, as I wasn’t as human as she believed.

  “Q…I—I want you.” Her hips came up, her limbs fighting the silk rope. Her breathless softness erupted the sexual hunger savaging my insides.

  Cranking the speed, I rubbed the wand from clit to entrance over her knickers.

  Her head fell back, eyes rolling. “Oh, wow…”

  Climbing over the bed, I lay down beside her. My hand ached from holding onto the vibrating device, and the bed rocked as Tess fucked the toy, desperate for a release.

  With my free hand, I snatched her cheeks, wrenching her face to mine.

  Every part of her from blood to brain was mine. She had no other thoughts but me. No other worries or concerns or questions.

  I owned her completely.

  And in return, she owned me.

  I kissed her.

  I captured her mouth like she would vanish. My tongue speared through her swollen lips, and I fucked her with taste and breath.

  She moaned, drawing tight against the restraints, craving my mouth, moaning for the wand.

  My leg flung over hers, and she trembled beneath me. She was in the sweetest surrender, and I wished I could record it. Tape her freedom and fucking perfection as she chased her orgasm.

  Knowing she let me bring her to the precipice of insanity night after night made my soul ignite until flames in my chest matched the flames in the fireplace. Nothing was more satisfying than her affection. Even her utmost submission wasn’t as perfect as her vows to love me in sickness and in health.

  That was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

  My hand rocked, giving her more friction with the wand.

  “Yes…yes…oh, yes.” Her breathing stopped as it always did as she strained to release. I hovered in indecision. Part of me wanted her to come. To ricochet into pieces and languishly agree to whatever else I requested. But the other part of me didn’t want to give pleasure so easily.

  She had to earn it.

  And she hadn’t…not yet.

  Pressing the button, the vibrations ceased.

  The room fell silent apart from her tattered breaths. “What—no, Q. I was so close. No…you can’t stop there.” A pretty pout formed on her lips, her eyes bright and glazed with need. “Please…pretty, pretty please? You told me to fly. I want to fly, dammit!”

  Rolling from the bed, I placed the wand on the quilt and grabbed the small pouch from my bag instead. “You’ll get the rest of your reward once we’ve finished.”

  “I want it now.” Her hips surged upward, looking for more torment. “You’re evil.”

  I laughed. “That isn’t new information for you.”

  Her eyes narrowed, falling to the black pouch as I unzipped it. “What’s that?” She did her best to raise her head but the weight of not coming drowned her, making her sleepy.

  “This is pain, esclave. And you promised you’d let me do anything.”

  A slight groan escaped her, but she nodded. “I did, and I do. Just…hurry so I can come. I really, really want to come.”

  I chuckled as I sat on the edge of the bed and undid the knot around her left wrist. She never took her eyes off me as I opened the bag and placed the tattoo pen with its vial of black ink on the bedspread.

  Her eyebrows rose. “Wait. You’re going to tattoo me?”

  I grinned. She wasn’t averse to the idea of needles and forever-after ink. Only focusing on the fact that I would be the one inscribing her body.

  “Do you have a problem with that?”

  I waited, inspecting every fleeting thought on her face.

  For a second, she hesitated. “Umm…”

  My back whiplashed straight. “Umm?”

  Tess’s eyes grew wider. “Q…I love you, but tattooing me…that’s something I have to think about.” Her throat tilted, exposing a little of her fire-seared brand beneath her collar. “Isn’t this enough?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing will ever be enough. Not now that you’ve taken my last name or wear my mark or sleep beside me every damn night. I’m a fucking insecure bastard when it comes to you, Tess. And because I know I’m asking a lot, I’ll even let you go first.”

  “Me?” she squeaked. “You want me to tattoo you? Q, I can draw sharp lines and copy a building, but I’ve never been good at landscape, portrait, or anything other than sterile architecture.”

  “Good to know. But I’m not asking you to draw on me. I’m asking you to write on me.”

  “You obviously haven’t seen my handwriting.”

  “As long as it’s legible, I don’t give a fuck.” I pointed at my knuckles. “You can write whereve
r you want, but I suggest somewhere I can see every day.”

  Tess’s gaze fell to my offered limb. “You want me to write on the back of your hand?” She froze. “You’re insane. I’m not coming anywhere near you with something so permanent.”

  “Not only will it be permanent, but I also requested the darkest ink available. I want it visible. I want it thick and seen.”

  “It means that much to you?”

  “You know me well enough that you don’t need an answer to that.”

  Her reluctance faded as she stared into my eyes. Love replaced reluctance. Her hurry to come tempered. “In that case, I don’t want to go first. Go ahead.”

  “You’re not going to ask where I’m going to tattoo you?”

  Her eyes dropped to my t-shirt, no doubt seeing my sparrow and storm design beneath the material. “If it’s half as beautiful as your art, I don’t care.”

  “I’m not an artist, Tess.”

  “You are to me.”

  Not replying, I brought her left hand upward and inserted her ring finger into my mouth.

  Her eyes snapped closed as her body leapt on the sheets. The magic wand rested unalive between her spread and bound thighs. “God, Q. You can’t do that if you don’t want me to come.”

  My tongue swirled around her finger, tasting salt and orchid-frost that was a scent uniquely Tess. “I can’t?” My teeth nipped her fingertip. “Why not? Could you come like this with nothing else?” Keeping her finger in my mouth, I dropped my free hand and cupped her brashly between her legs. “Or do you need this to be fucked in order to release?”

  Her body bucked against me. Her finger hooking inside my mouth as if she could wrench me closer and finish the task I’d started.

  My teeth tightened around her wedding ring and diamonds, slowly removing them over her knuckle, thanks to the wetness of my tongue.

  She was too focused on my hand on her cunt to pay attention.

  Yanking her finger from my mouth and my touch from her pussy, I sat back and spat her rings into my palm. “There…we won’t need those for a while.”

  Tess blinked. “What? Why?” Panic flared. “Don’t you want to be married any—”

  I slapped a hand over her lips. “Quiet.”

  Questions burned on her face as I kept her silent. My cock throbbed as thick desire threaded through my blood. Having her stare at me with such longing and passion almost destroyed my plans, demanding I slide inside her.