She wondered what lay behind Zac’s comment. He seemed so sorted, as though he had everything worked out and might be able to help her figure it out too.
Yet everything inside her screamed at her to keep him at arm’s length. She couldn’t cope with anything heavy right now. Or ever, in fact…
Independence remember?
Sod independence for the next few hours. She wanted company. Needed to experience her body fused with another’s, to feel connected and affirmed.
To feel alive.
Once in the chalet she stripped off her jacket and boots, walking in her socks straight to the bedroom. She didn’t want time to change her mind.
Wordlessly she tugged at fastenings and zips.
Zac watched her, hesitating before stripping, his expression impassive but his eyes dark with desire. “Are you sure? Don’t you need to talk first?”
“No.” She looked at him, pleadingly. “I need this first. Please?”
God, this is the second time I’ve begged him for sex. So classy!
But she didn’t feel humiliated, this felt okay, natural almost.
“Come here then.” He beckoned her over and she went, willing, if only for a few hours, to let him take control. Maybe he’d do a better job of it than her.
Undoubtedly.
He tugged her long-sleeved T-shirt over her head and pulled her into his arms. Then he kissed her, trailing his lips down to her neck and chest, sucking and teasing at her nipples through the lacy fabric of her bra. They stiffened in response, making her desperate to be pressed against him, skin against skin.
Her hands slid over his chest, caressing his already familiar flesh. His muscles felt solid and reassuring. She grinned at him as he undid her bra clasp and soon they were pulling at clothes, throwing off every vestige of clothing.
They explored each other, running hands over curves and muscle, fingers entangled in hair, pulling and tugging closer, groaning with desire.
When Zac slid a hand up to caress her between her legs, dipping two fingers inside her, she was already dripping wet. He teased her with his thumb and she groaned, arching towards him and sighing with pleasure when he clasped one of her breasts. It felt deliciously carnal and liberating to ignore all her anxieties and reservations. Like dancing naked on a lawn, ignoring a sign telling her to ‘keep off the grass.’
Just for a few hours.
Their breathing was laboured and ragged, their pupils dilated and their focus entirely on each other’s body.
She reached down to caress his erection and he jerked to her touch.
“Please,” she half begged, half groaned. “I need…”
What do I need?
She wasn’t sure but all her instincts lead her to Zac, vaulting the doubts and reservations that would no doubt launch a counter attack later. But what the hell? They weren’t in control now.
Make me forget.
He backed her towards the edge of the bed and firmly pushed her down, spreading her legs with the palms of his hands and pulling her wide open in front of him. The daylight made it impossible to hide. She didn’t care. She wanted it. Wanted him. Wanted to blot out the pain.
She closed her eyes, the darkness intensifying the sensation of Zac’s lips on her thighs. Moaning softly she lay back on the bed, spreading her arms out and opening herself, uncurling and blossoming to the touch of his tongue.
As the kisses trailed higher up her thighs she tensed a little but tried to override her fear, making no move to stop him. After a pause he continued to kiss higher up, licking and caressing her sex, tongue teasing.
She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t meet the connection she experienced whenever their eyes locked. She focused instead on the sweet pleasure throbbing between her legs, piercing her and splitting her in two as she bucked beneath his tongue and climaxed.
She kept her eyes shut when she heard the rip of a foil packet and felt his erection brush her thigh.
“Look at me.” Zac’s words were quiet but insistent.
Reluctantly she opened her eyes, her gaze meeting his and then dropping to where he had positioned himself at her sex. It turned her on to see him erect and clearly desiring her.
“You’re okay Flora, you’re okay.” He whispered and the tight vice around her heart loosened its grip. Tension and air released from her lungs in a deep sigh. She raised her legs to hook them around his hips, pulling him into her, gasping when he entered her hard and deep.
She met every thrust with passion, eyes wide open, feeling freer with each stroke, the rhythm producing a steady hum in her clit and the deep angle creating sensations she’d never felt before.
Is this my G-spot waking up?
Previously undiscovered nerve endings tingled and throbbed inside her, caressed and massaged with every thrust.
Zac put a hand under her bottom and squeezed. He held her so firmly she had no option but to grip him even harder.
Then she came for a second time but this was a longer ride, her whole body taken over by the tide of endorphins sweeping away her sadness as he tensed and cried out, reaching his climax at the same time as she came.
Flora was a puzzle. It was as though Zac had to look at her out of the corner of his eye because if he faced her head-on then the real, genuine girl he was coming to like very much would vanish. She seemed so easily spooked. Look at her awkward exit this morning.
On the one hand it was frustrating.
On the other it was captivating.
She had his interest. It’d been re-kindled when he’d seen her sitting on her own at the mountain canteen, sitting so rigidly still he’d known something was wrong.
He hadn’t been able to bear the bleak look in her eyes when he’d taken her sunglasses off. Her earlier irritation at his efforts to help her, however much she’d tried to hide it, had rubbed at him like a badly fitting ski boot. But one look at Flora’s tear sodden face and something had tugged deep inside him, a primal urge to draw her to him and try to take care of her, if she’d let him.
The urge to fix and help was such a strong one he’d never been able to resist it – from injured birds and stray dogs as a child to broken women. This felt like something more than his usual cursed inability to ever let anything go. It was a deep connection that blew him away whenever Flora allowed herself to look into his eyes, whenever she didn’t shy away from him like a wild horse evading a lasso.
Flora climbed back into his bed, drawing the duvet up over her body, hiding again, her urgency seemingly depleted. He slid in next to her, pulling her into his arms, cuddling her back. He wondered if she’d be more likely to talk to him if she couldn’t see his face.
Obviously she was ashamed of something but he really didn’t see what she could’ve done that would be so terrible.
“You need to talk about it,” he said, lazily stroking her arm.
“I just found out someone I cared about has passed away. He died of a heart attack and it was a bit of a shock.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Zac murmured quietly. “Did you know him well?”
“Yes, he was my ex’s dad and my old boss. And, well, there’s something else - it was supposed to be my wedding day today.” Flora sighed as she snuggled back against him.
“Oh?”
Whatever I was imagining I wasn’t expecting that.
“Yep. But I couldn’t do it, he was…wrong for me.”
Zac stayed silent but continued to stroke, to soothe, to encourage her words to flow with the tips of his fingers. Teasing her words from her as he’d teased her body earlier.
“I couldn’t cope with his mood swings and he was controlling, really controlling, you know?”
“I think I do, yes,” Zac sighed, pulling her closer, the stirrings of anger bubbling deep inside him. The dormant volcano always rumbled, the lava of anger churning in his belly, whenever something happened to remind him of his father.
He’d had a masterclass in the controlling type in his dad. The thought of Flora
involved with anyone like his dad made his gut clench.
“Then you did the right thing.”
“How can you be so sure?” She twisted round to face him, seemingly ready to engage. “I haven’t even told you everything…”
“Do you want to tell me?”
“Not…right now… Sorry.”
“That’s fine. But can you tell me why you were crying earlier? You said it was meant to be your wedding day. Was it that or…did something happen earlier? Has someone upset you?” She definitely hadn’t been this upset earlier when she’d left his chalet. Distant yes, but not distraught.
If anyone’s hurt her, I’ll…
“The email I got earlier telling me about the heart attack, it came from my ex’s sister, we used to be good friends.” She bit her lip and her eyes filled with tears again. “The family blame me, they say it was stress…”
He wiped away a tear on her cheek with his thumb.
“Hey.” He placed a soft kiss on her trembling lower lip. “You can’t take responsibility for someone else’s health or their actions. You could hardly marry just to keep the in-laws happy, that’s not fair.”
“I sort of know that on one level,” she admitted, eyes huge and threatening to brim over again. “But he was like family to me. My own parents aren’t really the happy family types. Tom’s family became my family and they were under a lot of stress. Maybe I should have stayed, helped them. Perhaps I was selfish.”
He gently nudged her shoulders to bring her back from the dark place she’d vanished to.
“No excuses. Don’t make excuses for him,” he said, exasperated, her story so horribly familiar it prodded and bated the slumbering volcano through the iron bars of his control. “Did he make you miserable? Undermine you? Belittle you?”
Did he hurt you?
She nodded slowly.
Zac took a deep breath. “Were you afraid of him?”
“Yes,” she replied, burying her face deep into the pillow.
He wanted to bring back the sassy girl who’d walked up to him in the bar and surprised him with a kiss, the girl who had dreams and a talent that’d been stifled.
His jaw tensed and he closed his eyes for a minute, trying to contain the volcano, trying not to think about the things that would lead to its eruption. He held her, murmuring nonsense and trying to comfort her while hiding his own turmoil. It took all his control to prevent the rigid fear that had crept into his muscles from spreading throughout his body like a crippling virus. He hoped she couldn’t feel it.
“It’s okay,” he whispered.
“I wish it could be,” she replied after a pause.
“You’re here and you’re safe.” He said. “And you’re not responsible.”
She shuddered against him, turning and running her hands over his body, stoking his desire again.
His brain argued that this wasn’t wise. She was vulnerable… but it was what she wanted, maybe what she needed. Sex could be healing and life affirming; he knew that.
And right now there wasn’t anything else he’d rather been doing. The holiday period yawned out ahead of him, it was ages before the office re-opened and he’d be busy again.
If he was honest with himself he needed this as much as she did. Flora kissed him passionately and then pulled away.
“What were you planning to do today?” She shuffled up the bed and sat up. “I’m sorry, I’ve ruined your day on the slopes. Were you heading for the Snow Park at La Chaux, isn’t that where all the boarders go?”
“It’s fine, I’ve been quite happy with the other activities on offer.” Zac lightly squeezed her thigh under the duvet. “We could go get some lunch if you’re up to it.”
“Maybe not the canteen.” Flora rolled her eyes. “They must think I’m a nutter.”
“Hardly. You won’t be the first person to ever cry in public.” He shrugged.
“Have you ever cried in public?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Well…no. In fact … I haven’t ever cried, not that I can remember.” Zac shifted uncomfortably, wishing they could get back to the subject of lunch.
“What, never?” Her eyes widened.
“Erm, no.” The uncomfortable sensation stretched its grip into her chest.
I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d got to me.
“Shall we go sit in the sun for lunch? Fancy a Croque Monsieur?”
I never cried because I couldn’t.
“Okay.” She stared at him as though reading his thoughts.
He looked away, unnerved.
Sitting in the warm winter sunshine Flora titled her head back and let the warmth heal and restore her.
Maybe this could be a short-term fling? If she set an end to it, a ‘best before’ date, then she could have fun without worrying about getting involved.
Because she needed to be single, had to be much stronger than she felt right now, before she started on a new relationship. But a fling with Zac needn’t jeopardise that.
“You look happy.” Zac had returned from the bar and put the drinks down on the wooden trestle table of the Chalet-style bar.
The wedding. I’ll let myself see Zac until Holly’s wedding. After that there’ll be no reason to see him again, it will be easier to make a break before it can get too heavy. I’m just dipping my toe in the water, that’s all…
“It must be the Zac effect.” She grinned. Her body certainly appreciated his way of cheering her up. Every inch of skin had been thoroughly caressed, she was sure she glowed from the attentions he’d lavished on her. “Maybe we should market it?”
“I think I’ll stick to the day job.” Zac laughed. The darkness she’d seen in his eyes earlier had disappeared.
How can someone never cry?
What was Zac’s secret? Everyone had secrets.
Even she had stuff she’d never told a soul, simply could not talk about. She liked that Zac had seen her at her messiest worst and was still here. He hadn’t gone running for the mountain peaks. She was sure a lesser guy would have.
“So what is the day job?”
“I’m a management consultant, I work in Geneva, I have a flat there. Do you know Geneva very well?”
“Not really.” She shrugged apologetically. “I went straight to the train station when I got off the plane.”
“I’ll have to show you round. What are you doing for Christmas?”
“I’m tagging on to Holly and Scott’s Christmas, they’ve got lots of guests over for the wedding. It’ll be a little awkward I think. Scott’s parents are coming and I think I’m going to feel in the way.”
“So you’re not using the time off to see your parents?”
“No, my parents live in Thailand and they aren’t really into Christmas, never have been.” She grimaced, thinking about one unhappy childhood Christmas in particular. She’d spent it wishing her family could be like everybody else’s – longing for a Christmas tree or stocking fillers at the end of her bed instead of a lecture on the immorality of consumerism and being told to give her Christmas money to charity. She’d only been eight!
If I ever have children I’m going to spoil them rotten.
She blinked hard.
“What about you? Where are your family based?”
“They live just outside Geneva, a little town called Coppet. I’ve no siblings, I’m an only child.”
“Oh, me too! So, you’re going to theirs for Christmas day?”
Fleetingly she thought of her own parents and wished she had someone waiting for her for Christmas lunch.
“No,” he replied abruptly, his jaw tensing and the darkness she’d seen earlier reappearing to shadow his features.
She reached under the table to stroke his leg, saying nothing. Gratifyingly he relaxed his rigid posture.
“Would you like to hang out for Christmas? I know somewhere I think you’d love. It would be fun to have some company and such a shame not to use your time off to see a bit of Switzerland. What wit
h Scott only employing Brits and catering to the UK market you’re not really experiencing Swiss culture.”
Fun, yes. Nothing heavy. Hanging out was nice and casual.
“I’d like to do that, thanks.” She smiled, relaxing. “Am I allowed to know where we’re going?”
“I think I’ll keep it as a surprise,” he shifted in his chair. “And tickling my leg isn’t going to persuade me.”
She laughed and withdrew her hand. “Looks like I need to spend some time finding your ticklish spot.”
“Or we could play Truth or Dare again.”
Truth – I like you. Dare – I dare myself to spend time with you without getting in too deep. Forfeit? Hmm, I’d be very happy to give up my bunk-bed and exchange it for your king size bed.
Very happy indeed.
Hanging out wasn’t the same as going out. Everyone knew that. And if she ended it after the wedding it needn’t turn into anything serious. She had to believe that because what Zac was offering her was far too tempting to turn down…
CHAPTER FIVE
Flora just about managed not to drool as she followed Zac into the plush entrance of the Mirador Kempinski. Soothing classical music played in the background and a delicious scent of jasmine permeated the air. Uniformed staff beamed at them as though they were the most important people on the planet.
She’d thought he was taking her to some kind of remote log cabin or something authentic, not to a five star spa hotel. She wandered over to the plate glass wall that ran the length of the lobby to look at the view while Zac talked to the staff.
“Wow,” she exclaimed, taking in the magnificent view down across Lac Léman to Evian and the French Alps. The mountains sparkled ice white with fresh snowfall, contrasting with the vivid blue of the sky. Down below the lake shimmered and danced in the sunlight, dotted with tiny boats with billowing sails.
It was possibly the best view she’d ever seen in her life.
“I thought you’d like the view here. It’s quite something, isn’t it?” Zac turned towards her, smiling at her reaction.
“We’ve upgraded you to the Presidential suite sir.” The front of house man handed Zac a form to sign. “If you’d both like to come with me? Don’t worry about your bags, Mademoiselle, they will be brought to the room and if you give us your car key we’ll make sure it’s parked for you.”
Secrets of a Chalet Girl: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance Novella Page 6