by Stuart, Amie
Just then, Jessa arched her bottom against his groin, and sensing her desperation, Zack pushed her panties down. He grabbed a condom off the nightstand and sheathed himself as she turned to look up at him, her eyes bright in the dim bedroom light.
"Don't tease me. Not anymore."
He paused to study her for a long, heavy moment, then settled her on his cock. She closed her eyes and smiled as a shiver worked its way up his spine. He let her find her own pace, and she tried everything from long, slow strokes that left both them gasping for air, to a heart-stopping, mind-bending, bed-shaking pace that left him unable to think past the feel of her milking his cock and his hands on her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. Zack kissed her back, deeply, his body demanding a faster pace, demanding more. The deeper they kissed, the faster they went until finally she moaned loudly against his mouth, her body locked around his as she climaxed.
He met each thrust of her hips until finally, he followed. Afterward, they both lay there trying desperately to catch their breath.
Finally, she gave him a harshly whispered, "Sorry." She untangled her hands from his hair.
He gently nudged her head back and smoothed her hair off her face. "Why are you crying? Was I too rough?"
"No." She ducked her head and dragged a hand across her face.
He forced her to look at him again, his grip on her face gentle but firm. "Are you alright, sweetheart? What happened? What's going on?"
"I'm scared," she finally whispered. "This is all…fast."
"I'm not in any hurry. Are you?" he asked, a part of him terrified at the thought of losing her, despite everything that had happened in the last few days.
"I'm sorry about Rhea. I lost my temper and I just wanted to help Ty."
He sighed, relaxing against the pillows. "I'm not saying she didn't deserve it, but the town, and with my mom…"
"Why doesn't your family do something to help him?" She turned to face him, head propped on her elbow, the sheets tucked around her. "I'd never let anyone treat Jace like that."
His face warmed at her admonishment. "It's…complicated."
"Yeah," she said, then laughed almost to herself. "I got that."
"Momma pretends it doesn't happen. The rest of us have tried to get Ty to leave but…he's stubborn."
"I met your mom the other morning when I went riding with your dad and Travis. I can see why you say she's difficult."
Difficult was putting it nicely. He chuckled softly and squeezed her hand. "She's not the only difficult woman in my life."
Jessa, at least, had the grace to blush.
Chapter Seventeen
Jessa
The Boudreaux family barbecue hung over my head and left a rock sitting in my stomach. I hadn't bothered going into details with Zack about my run-in with his mother, but after my run-in with Rhea, I knew I'd have to be on my best behavior. I consoled myself with the reminder that Susie would be there, too. I'd insisted he bring me back to his aunt's so I could grab some clean clothes, and buy myself a little time to gatherer myself before I had to officially 'meet' Mrs. Boudreaux.
I ran a brush through my hair one more time and slicked on a coat of lip gloss, only to get stopped at my bedroom door by the ringing of my phone.
Leaning over, I glanced at the caller ID. "Not today, cuz." I declined the call with a swipe of my finger and tossed the phone on the bed, facedown.
It wasn't until I reached the bottom of the stairs that I realized I was favoring my bad knee and leg. Not because they hurt, but because I'd been thinking about my fake knee and the steel rod and all of the other injuries I'd suffered over the years. I'd been thinking that none of it had to happen.
Turning around, I headed back upstairs, grabbed my phone off the bed and then sent a quick text message:
You should have told me, Kane. You were my best friend.
***
Zack met me halfway to the Boudreaux's main house. "I was getting worried." He took my hand with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I'm good," I said around the lump in my throat. I still didn't know how to tell him about Kane, so I skipped that part. We were already on pretty unsteady ground after my fight with Rhea and our fight about Travis. My throat worked and my mind waffled back and forth between train wreck and blank slate. I sighed, hard.
"You can skip dinner if you want."
"No, no, that's not what I meant. It's just, I bake when I'm upset."
"…and my mom upset you."
I nodded, then frowned at the sight of Ty and Rhea just ahead of us. "I thought she'd left."
Zack sighed. "Nope. And you can't fight with her again."
"Like your mom won't notice her black eye?" I softly questioned while watching the other couple disappear around the side of the house.
"—and busted lip," Zack added.
His tone was beginning to irk me. Enough so that I stopped and turned to face him so I could speak my mind in peace. "You know, if someone was hurting Jace or even Caron and Colby, I'd be all over them. So would the rest of my family."
"Really? Because I seem to recall you crying about them leaving you in Las Vegas?"
He had a point, but that was low. "There's a big difference between getting your ass kicked by a twelve-hundred-pound horse and getting your ass kicked by your wife." I stood there, staring at him for many pointed seconds, a bit sad over the realization that Zack and I had a problem. A problem that I could not quite put my finger on.
We were saved from saying anything else by Susie who, appeared at the side yard. "Come on, you two." She waved us over, a smile on her face. I'd miss her after I was gone. I'd miss her a lot.
Ty and Rhea were just taking their seats at the long picnic table while Zack and Susie led me toward the porch and Mama Boudreaux. She stood as regal as queen, an oversized mixing bowl tucked under her arm. Her faded red hair was still pinned up for church and she wore creased denim jeans and a yellow shirt that probably would not have dared to show a wrinkle while still on her person. Even her apron was crisp, if faded.
Her expression could only be called disapproving, and for a few frightening seconds, I was thirteen again and being chastised for nothing much by my step-mother Marlene who stood on the porch, Daddy at her side, Caron and Jace around her staring down at me, disapproving and hateful simply because I wasn't hers. Never mind that I'd tried to ride one of Daddy's ponies while he was learning to tolerate the feel of a saddle. She didn't care about that. Or even that I could have been hurt.
"She bet me ten dollars she could do it, Mama," my baby brother had yelled while dashing for the safety of his mother.
I glared at him—the little liar. Defending myself wouldn't do any good. Marlene always sided with him while Daddy played like Switzerland—neutral.
It was so many years ago and so many miles away, but still, it felt the same as standing below Zack's mother who muttered something under her breath that sounded like, "Dear God."
Jerrod stood just a few feet away, looking pale under his permanent tan. He clamped down the lid on a huge smoker-grill that filled the air with the scent of brisket and then came to join me on the porch steps. "Maggie, you promised."
Rather than wait for Zack to do the honors, I climbed two steps and held out my hand and introduced myself. "Ma'am. How do you do?"
"I've been better."
I nodded. "That's understandable, I suppose. Would you like a hand in the kitchen? I'm quite good with a knife."
From behind me came the sound of Susie choking on her own laughter. I smiled innocently, my big blue eyes wide.
"How about you, Mr. Boudreaux? Do you need a hand?" I turned toward him, determined to prove to Maggie Boudreaux that I could do more than cause a scandal and beat up Rhea—who'd damn well deserved what she'd gotten.
"How many times do I have to tell you?" he asked, holding out a hand, "It's Jerrod."
I put my hand in his, wincing slightly as he ran a callused thumb over my bus
ted knuckles. "Jerrod."
"I heard you had quite the night last night."
"Yes, sir…Jerrod."
Maggie snorted, catching both our attention. Obviously, from the scowl on her face, she was not amused over my fight with Rhea.
"Matter of fact, I was telling Zack on the way here that I'd never let anyone do to my brothers what Rhea did to Ty. Ever. That's just unacceptable."
"Unacceptable—" Maggie took a step toward me.
Judging from the rumblings coming from behind me, Maggie wasn't the only one upset with my opinion. Jerrod just squeezed my shoulder in agreement.
Turning my full attention on her, I said, "Yes, ma'am. Unacceptable."
"Let me tell you what's unacceptable—" She kept coming until she was just a step above me. Yes, she'd given herself the strategic advantage of height, but I'd spent half my life getting my ass kicked by horses and dealing with Marlene. I could handle one cranky old woman. "Please do."
I crossed my arms over my chest and waited.
"Jesus," Zack muttered as his dad moved out of my line of sight. "Jessa, please."
"Maggie—" Jerrod climbed the wide porch steps until he stood above me, "—don't do this."
"It's okay, sir."
"Unacceptable is my son meeting a strange woman on the internet. Unacceptable is said strange woman beating up my daughter-in-law—"
"Who was beating up your son!" I interjected. "But I suppose that's okay—as long as he hides until the bruises are gone?"
"You and I both know Rhea deserved that beating she took last night. No—" Jerrod held up a hand before she could speak again, "—two wrongs do not make a right, but you won't hear me complaining about what she said or what she did. Now drop it."
"Drop it?" Maggie asked, eyebrows raised, amid more urgent whispers.
From the corner of my eye, I noted Tim passing by with Travis in his arm and dragging a complaining Rene behind him. I assumed to remove them from the verbal line of fire.
"I always miss all the good shit!"
"Rene!"
"Sorry, Grandma!"
A red-faced Maggie turned back to me once Rene had disappeared. She waved a hand toward me. "And what do I tell people when they ask how those two met? Because people will be asking."
Susie spoke up from the bottom step. "Tell them it's none of their damned business."
I nodded my head in agreement, relieved to know I hadn't alienated everyone.
"Oh, so next Sunday when the good Reverend Dimwitty asks, and he will ask," she said while flapping her hands—an obvious sign of how agitated she was, "how they met, I say 'Revered, it's none of your damned business.' Hmm, is that right, Susie? Jerrod? It's bad enough Tim can't keep his pants zipped and Ty and Rhea—" she motioned over our heads and shook her own head, still unable or unwilling to acknowledge that there were worse things than your son meeting some girl on the internet. "I can't believe that out of five children, only one of them turned out worth a damn."
My jaw hit the ground and my guts tightened, because I knew Zack wasn't the one. Not with Travis in the picture.
"Thanks, Momma," Zack muttered.
Susie gasped. "Goddamnit, Margaret, how dare you? How dare you talk about your children that way!"
"And then there's you, Susie, carrying on with a man young enough to be your son. Pardon me. I need to...check...something. You—" she waved a hand in Jerrod's direction, "—deal with your family. I'm done." She turned on her heel, muttering, "This is all your fault anyway."
I watched it all unfold in horrified fascination, feeling more than a bit guilty for not keeping my mouth shut, for knowing Zack would never forgive me for this, for knowing I'd ruined some nice family's Sunday supper and caused a world-class yelling match between a very nice man and his…wife.
Apparently, Jerrod wasn't letting the missus off that easily. He gently nudged me out of the way and made to follow her. "Maggie Mae, don't you go blaming this on me!"
"Well who the hell should I blame it on?" she demanded, turning back to face him. "This whole entire mess, all of it, is your fault."
"Why does it have to be anyone's fault? Why does everything have to be someone's fault?"
"Because it is. It is and you know it!"
"Fine. Fine—" he threw up his hands, "—I want a divorce!"
That shut her up. And him too, at least for a moment. His declaration shocked us all into silence. My fingers tightened on the porch rail as I slowly backed down the steps while shaking my head.
"I didn't mean it. I didn't—"
"Apparently, you did." She slammed the kitchen door behind her.
"Jesus," Zack hissed, as Jerrod's head drooped and shoulders sagged.
I had no idea how the Boudreauxs had gotten here but this wasn't all about me. This…this had been festering a while.
Mr. Boudreaux descended the steps, shoving past all of us, and crossed the yard, heading for the barn. He passed Ty and Rhea without a word, then stopped and walked back to where they sat. "I want her off my property by sundown. If you choose to go with her, that's on you, son. But if she ain't gone, I'm calling Sheriff Townsend and having her arrested." With a quick rap of his knuckles on the picnic table, he continued toward the barn.
Rhea stood, a scowl on her face, her lips tight. "Fuck you Boudreauxes, anyway."
"Aunt Susie?" The question in Zack's voice was clear.
"I have no idea, son," Susie said, scowling in Rhea's direction until she disappeared around the side of the house as well.
I descended the few steps that separated Susie and myself and said, "A wise man once told me that marriages don't just end, they die."
She nodded thoughtfully. The expression on her face could only be called pensive. "Whoever said that is a very wise person indeed."
"Maybe you should get Jessa out of here," he muttered, unable to look at me.
Susie sighed again, or maybe that was me. At this point, it was hard to tell. "Go inside and check on your mama, Zack. I'm the last person she needs to see right now."
He climbed the stairs and crossed the porch, each step heavy and slow with obvious dread.
Zack was right. I should go. I wanted to go. Even more than I'd wanted to come here, I wanted to leave. I didn't belong here. It was at that moment I realized I didn't belong anywhere.
For one brief second, I'd tried to make Zack's family mine, but that was impossible.
"I know I'm not to blame, but…I do feel partially to blame. I should go."
"Oh please. You're more family than Rhea ever was."
We met each other's eyes, a million said and unsaid things between us, and in that moment I knew I'd found a real kindred spirit in Susie Boudreaux. It was too bad about me and Zack.
She grabbed my hand and dragged me across the yard to the barn. I didn't want to hear, didn't want to know.
It was none of my damned business.
A smart woman would have walked away and minded her own damn business. The good Lord knew I had plenty enough other stuff on my plate, including Kane. But, apparently, I wasn't a smart woman. Either that, or I was just slow.
We grimaced at one another, then I reluctantly eased open the barn door and allowed Susie to enter first. I followed, my boots scuffing against the concrete floor.
Jerrod leaned against the stall door of the bay gelding he favored.
"Brother," Susie said, resting a hand on his upper arm, "what's going on?"
He shook his head, unable to look at either one of us. I shoved my hands deep in my pockets, wishing I hadn't allowed Susie to drag me in here with her.
"My dad likes to hide in the barn too."
That, at least, earned me a smile.
"Whenever he and my step-mom fight. It's one of the reasons I don't go home to Montana much. Funny thing is, I used to think it was me, and sometimes it was me, but mostly it was him…and her. I know this is none of my business—"
"After what you did to Rhea last night, I don't mind." He cracked a smile, albe
it a tiny one.
"I can't lie." I shrugged. "I enjoyed it."
"Not half as much as I enjoyed watching it," Susie interjected.
We all laughed softly, and the bay chuffed as if he had to get his two cents in. I leaned against the stall door, eyes on him, and said, "It's quiet out here."
"Horses don't judge."
With a weak smile, I said, "No, sir, they don't."
"Jerrod," Susie crossed her arms over her chest, "Divorce is a very serious step. I realize that neither of us have a right to stick our noses in your marriage…that's not entirely true. I'm your sister, so I get to stick my nose wherever the hell I want."
"I messed up," Jerrod said. "Badly."
"How badly," Susie coaxed.
I kept quiet, unsure why Susie had dragged me along and wishing I was anywhere else as I listened to Mr. Boudreaux confessing that he had another child. A daughter that no one knew about. An unwanted daughter that he hadn't seen or heard from until recently. His admission landed square in my backyard.
My jaw clenched as I reminded myself that shit was complicated, and that I liked Mr. Boudreaux—Jerrod—or, at least, I had liked him. I was trying very hard not to judge him, and failing.
"I promised Maggie." He sighed. "I promised Maggie that I wouldn't see her. I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong I know. And now," Jerrod continued, "she needs me." He grimaced, turned his head away and sniffed.
"You're her dad. Of course she needs you. She's always needed you," I finished for him. I recalled our first ride and how, at times, he'd looked so sad. "And you always let her down."
Susie glared at me, her silent censure reminding me that this was not my family, not my home. I nodded, then turned and silently exited the barn, walked past the still-smoking grill and the eerily silent house. Down the dirt and gravel road I went back to Susie's. In the house, the blast of cool air slapped me in my face as I made my way upstairs and packed my things. Once I was done, I grabbed my phone and dialed the last number that had called me.