“You know there’s a big space right up front there,” Janine said, gesturing toward the open area next to him.
So filled with annoyance and impatience that she’d momentarily forgotten her righteousness, Adele snapped up her mat, gave Janine a venomous smile, and said, “Oh, great, thank you so much, Janine.”
Even as she walked toward the spot, regret began to fill her, but it was too late. She had to continue her path toward the opposite corner of the room, toward him.
As she reached the open space, he turned to look at her, his face completely guileless. She was taken aback by the open vulnerability in his expression, and the simple way he said, “Hi Adele.”
Dizzy from the emotional strobe light inside her, she responded: “Hi, Danny.”
They looked at each other, simply and intensely, him sitting, her standing, her mat draped over her arm, and she felt her body begin to calm. She opened her mouth to say something else, but then the voice of the other he—Ajuni—broke the murmuring quiet of the classroom.
“An opening,” he boomed from the center of the room, “is also a closing.”
Adele broke her gaze with Danny, unrolled her mat, and sat down. It was only as she settled into a relaxed half lotus pose that the thought occurred to her: What the hell is Danny doing in asana practice? Reflexively, she whipped her head around, as if to see if anyone else had noticed this oddity, and, to her complete shock, became aware of at least five new faces. She recognized Budi, the cook, sitting in the middle of the room in what looked to be an incredibly uncomfortable cross-legged position; and Putri, a gorgeous local woman who ran a bed & breakfast up the street; and J.T., a beefy Australian who, as far as Adele could tell, lived in a tent and spent all day alternately drinking Bintang and surfing; and there in the back was Yande, the lanky and cheerful driver, with voluptuous Meghan giving him some hands-on spinal adjustments. There were others, but she didn’t stop to take them all in, aware that she was gaping stupidly at the entire class.
How had she not noticed this until now? Wow, I’m really losing it, she thought, shaking her head.
Turning back to the front of the room, she could see Danny out of her peripheral vision, and thought she caught a playful, almost teasing grin on his lips. She felt her stomach flutter, and squashed the feeling back down.
“Today, we temporarily close the intimate and intense energy of our teacher training community,” Ajuni continued, “in order to open ourselves, and this sacred space, to a new, more inclusive and dynamic experience. In order to allow in the energies and wisdom of those outside of our community.” Ajuni slowly looked around the room, making eye contact with each of the new class members—there were seven in total, Adele now counted—and bowing slightly toward each, his hands pressed in prayer position at his chest. When Ajuni reached Danny, it seemed that he let his gaze linger for longer than with the others, and Adele could swear she saw a slight twitch on one corner of his lips, the hint of a smirk, or a sneer. But then it was gone, and they were both bowing toward each other, and class was beginning.
Of course, Adele thought, as Ajuni instructed them to move through some cat-cow stretches following their own breath patterns. Open Asana Day. They’d been talking about it since day one of the training, but with all the chaos of the past few days, she’d completely forgotten. This lapse hit Adele right in the gut, as it signified to her that she’d done just what she’d wanted to avoid: letting men and sex and crushes get in the way of her personal journey. She’d been so excited about Open Asana Day—one day of class where anyone from the community could join them for an all-level yoga practice—and it was very telling, and very sad, that it had completely slipped her mind.
But how the hell had Danny known about it? And, more importantly, why on earth would he choose to come?
As the second question rose in her mind, she jerked her head involuntarily toward him, just at the moment that he happened to be stealing a glance at her, and they locked eyes again. She quickly looked away.
His mat was no more than two feet away—close enough that she could hear his breath and see his sweat, but far enough that she could take in the full visual glory of his body. And damn it was a glorious body. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt that showcased the full, taut curvature of his shoulder muscles as he held himself up on all fours. Because of the shirt’s looseness and Adele’s angle, she could also get a peek of his unreal abs—Seriously, nobody has abs like that. That’s not fair—and, realizing that she was ogling, she tried to return to her practice. Just focus on the breath, she repeated to herself.
As Ajuni guided the class into more active poses, Adele was able to turn at least half of her attention away from Danny and toward her physical practice. This shift caused her to feel a rush of gratitude for the glory of yoga, for its ability to bring you into touch with simplicity, with your body, with the moment, regardless of the circumstance. It relieved her that, despite everything, she was still at least somewhat connected to the reasons she’d wanted to come on this journey.
Because it was an all-levels class—some of the new additions, like J.T. and Budi, clearly had never set foot in a yoga studio before—Ajuni kept the sequences simple. They moved through some basic sun salutations and a few standing balance poses, and the atmosphere in the room felt far more casual than it did in most classes. Ajuni even seemed less intense, somehow, though Adele reasoned that this was probably just by comparison to the intensity of feeling she felt every time her gaze happened to wander to the right and she caught a glimpse of Danny.
Because, despite the centering powers of the physical practice, she was still highly aware of Danny’s presence. The movement gave her something to focus on other than him, but his movements, his breath, his energy, his looks (Was he looking at her? She thought she could feel his eyes on her but wasn’t sure.) were still very much in her sphere of awareness. Though she only watched with her peripheral vision, she could tell that he was quite good. Great form, smooth transitions, stable balances. Not that she was surprised—the realm of the physical was something he had clearly conquered. She felt a wave of heat in her low belly as this thought articulated in her mind.
She snapped to attention, suddenly realizing that Ajuni was not two feet from her, eyeing her curiously. A stupid smile spread across her face as she looked back, and she teetered in her tree pose. Ajuni shot her a look that she couldn’t quite pinpoint, though it seemed both amused and haughty. She could have sworn he winked, though it all happened in a flash, and then he was striding away and speaking to the whole class.
“With control, lower your left leg to the floor and bring your arms by your sides,” he said, and pivoted on his heel to face the room. “Now,” he continued, “I want you to turn to the person who…” he scanned the room, rubbing his chin as if in a parody of someone thinking. His eyes stopped on Adele, then hopped to Danny, then back to Adele, and then there was that sneer-smirk again, though this time it curled up into an undeniable smile after a moment. “…to the person whose mat is closest to yours.”
Adele looked to her left, where Felicia, a spacey jewelry designer from northern California, had been practicing. Her heart raced as she realized that there was no way she could pretend her mat was closer to Felicia’s than it was to Danny’s. She glanced to her right to confirm, though she knew the verdict. She kept her gaze to the right, but didn’t look up. Instead, her eyes remained fixed on the—very minimal—space between her mat and Danny’s. Now there was no question in her mind about whether or not he was looking at her.
“This person will be your partner for the rest of class,” Ajuni continued. “We will be exploring the endless possibilities allowed by what I like to call co-yoga. Your body is capable of many magical things, true. But your body plus another body,” he paused, and Adele couldn’t keep her eyes down any longer. She looked up, and immediately found herself returning Danny’s earnest and penetrating gaze. Her heart beat even faster. “…your body plus another body, that is capable o
f transcendence.”
Ajuni then instructed them to both move to the mat of the partner on the right, so Adele walked over to Danny’s mat and stood, still looking down. Staring at his feet, her heart pounding, she honestly couldn’t remember whether she hated or loved him, let alone the reasons for either emotion. All that she knew was that her entire being was fighting against the powerful impulse to throw herself into his arms, feel her breasts against his chest, feel him pull her close and stroke her hair and quiet the confusion.
Fortunately, she didn’t have to fight for long, as Ajuni’s voice resounded once again through the room. Her eyes shot toward him, welcome for an escape from the intensity of looking at Danny.
“The most basic of forms is one-dimensional—a dot—which we inhabit in child’s pose, a pose that we do not need to practice here,” Ajuni said, striding through the room. He was in the opposite corner from Adele, and though he wasn’t looking at her, she could feel his awareness of her, feel a sort of pious judgment directed her way from him. “The second level of complication is two points, two-dimensional: the line,” he continued. “Which asana embodies this second level of physical manifestation?”
Ajuni now stood in the center of the room, his arms by his side, surveying the class silently. The veterans of the class had long ago learned that these rhetorical techniques were meant to emphasize the power of his teachings, and they shouldn’t try to respond, but Adele could feel the guests shifting on their mats uncomfortably, wanting to fill the strangely weighted silence in the room.
To Adele’s horror, she felt Danny shift beside her, and his voice reverberate through the cavernous silence that Ajuni had so carefully constructed.
“A plank,” Danny said, his voice devoid of any sort of clever inflection or veiled arrogance. Involuntarily glancing his way, Adele saw his frank and cheerful face, and felt a surge of protectiveness for him. “A plank, right? Straight line, shoulders to feet. Two points.”
Ajuni spun on his heels to face Danny, his eyes austere but his lips curling up into a smile that was either friendly or threatening, depending on how she looked at it.
“A plank,” Ajuni said, his eyes locked on Danny, “is exactly the pose I was speaking of.” He shot a quick glance to Adele, a glance that made her heart rate double, and then returned his gaze to Danny. “Such a simple pose, that so many of us—yogis or not—assume we have it mastered. But so few do. A line!” He spun on his heels again, facing the room, once again embracing his guru status, “How simple, right?” Ajuni had made his way to Meghan, and as he said the final word, he cupped her chin in his hand, bringing his face within inches of hers.
“But it’s shocking to realize how few of us execute the pose correctly,” he continued. “And so it takes attention from an outside observer to truly master this most fundamental of poses.”
Ajuni strode once again toward the front of the room, coming to stand directly to the left of Adele’s mat. “So now greet the outside observer you have selected,” he continued.
Unable to put it off any longer, Adele let her eyes lift up to meet Danny’s. Outside observer. She turned the phrase over in her mind. How strange to think of him, he who had been inside her, as an outsider. But wasn’t he?
Before she could pursue the thought further, Ajuni was issuing instructions, and pairs around the room were beginning the exercise.
“I think I should go,” Danny said.
The words took Adele off guard. “Go…?”
“Go first,” he clarified, a slight smile curling his lips. “I figure your plank form will put mine to shame, so I should go before the expectation is set.”
Adele surprised herself by laughing, and relished the tension-breaking sensation through her body.
The next moment, Danny was on his hands and the balls of his feet, in perfect push-up plank position. One look at his incredible surfer’s body should have told her that his plank position would be perfect.
“Horrible,” she said quietly, so that only he could hear. The wave of laughter had released her, and she wanted to keep riding on that feeling. “Worst plank I’ve ever seen,” she said, and her voice broke into giggles. Danny began laughing too, and his form wobbled a bit as his stomach contracted with the laughter. Seeing the rippling of his muscles in response to her stupid joke made Adele’s stomach clench in a different way, and suddenly humor was the last thing from her mind.
“Switch!” Ajuni’s voice resounded throughout the room, and Adele realized that she’d momentarily forgotten his presence.
Adele lowered herself onto the mat just as Danny pushed himself up, not wanting to break the light mood they’d set by making eye contact again. Once she was settled in what she thought was a pretty impeccable plank, Ajuni’s voice rung through the room again, instructing the observing partner to work on “adjustments” to the other’s plank form.
He told them to focus on the hips, to locate the hip bones and physically move them into alignment if they were out. And then, Danny was crouching beside her, his tanned, shirtless body squatting at eye level just in her peripheral vision.
“Your form is pretty great, so I’m not sure there’s much to—”
“Practice these adjustments even if you don’t think your partner needs it,” Ajuni’s voice boomed through the room, as if he’d been eavesdropping on Danny’s words. And he very well could have been, as the next moment, he, too, was crouching beside Adele, on the other side of her. She kept her eyes on the mat straight below her, trying to not let them dart to the left or right, to these two tanned, half-naked, and confusing men.
“Why aren’t you adjusting her,” Ajuni said, and it was clear that it was a command, not a question.
“I didn’t see much to adjust,” Danny said, a touch of defiance in his voice. There was a lengthy silence, which Adele could only assume was filled with some sort of staring contest, and then Danny was moving down her body, toward her hip bones. Ajuni, too, adjusted himself, coming to sit cross-legged directly in front of her, making it even more difficult not to look at him.
Danny’s fingertips touched her left hip bone, and her entire body became rigid. That touch. She breathed deeply, trying not to let her reaction show.
“Straddle her,” Ajuni said, and the words were so jarring that Adele couldn’t help but jerk her head up to look at him. He didn’t really say that, right? When she looked up, she saw that Ajuni was already looking at her. His lips turned up into that inscrutable smile, and he spoke again. “She’s small enough. Straddle her with your legs so that you can touch both hips at once, symmetrically.” He didn’t break eye contact with Adele as he spoke, and she was so perplexed by the situation that she continued to return his gaze.
And then she could feel the heat of Danny’s thighs inches away from her hips as he followed Ajuni’s instructions and positioned himself over her in a kneeling straddle. Indeed, she was small enough that this was possible, but it was a tight fit, and she knew that if she moved an inch or so in either direction, her hips or ass would graze his inner thigh. At the thought, she felt her arms waver, and looked down.
“Now grab her hips,” Ajuni said, and there seemed to be something strangely sinister in his voice, though Adele couldn’t be sure.
Danny grabbed her hips. Her heart raced.
“Move them where you want them.”
Danny’s fingertips lightly drew her hips upward by half an inch or so. She wanted to continue raising them all the way up, up to meet the juncture of his legs…
“Too far,” Ajuni said. “Down.”
Danny lowered her hips down almost imperceptibly, and Ajuni quickly corrected him. “No, do not use her hips to draw her down, only up.” And then she felt four hands on her, Ajuni’s hands guiding Danny’s from the sides of her hips up over the rounded slope of her ass, so that the two masculine sets of hands both curved around her—one Danny hand and one Ajuni hand on each side. This was surreal. Then Ajuni’s hands were gone, and Danny was lightly pressing Adele downwar
d into proper alignment, when Ajuni spoke again.
“Check her core, is it engaged?”
Silence once more.
Ajuni gave a sigh of weary annoyance and moved to Adele’s side.
“Like this,” she heard him say, and suddenly one of his hands was on her stomach, palm pressed lightly onto the flesh just above her navel. A light sweat broke out on her forehead. And then Danny’s hand, too, was on her belly, palm up, just over her navel. More beads of sweat popped up on her upper lip, her forearms, and she felt a different kind of moisture suddenly between her legs.
And then, Ajuni’s hand was gone and his voice was ringing through the classroom again instructing both partners to stand up. Adele collapsed down onto her knees, only in that moment realizing how exhausted her muscles were from holding plank for so long. She spun around to face Danny, who was still kneeling on the mat, and when their eyes met, they both exploded into giggles—which they immediately swallowed after Ajuni shot them a sharp glance.
Still, huge disobedient smirks kept creeping onto one or another’s face and provoking small outbursts as Ajuni gave his end-of-class monologue. She wasn’t quite sure she could identify why they were laughing, except that it felt not too dissimilar to the kind of laughter that infects you after a scary roller coaster ride, or during a horror movie, or after a good long cry. A cathartic laughter. Healing even.
At that thought, Adele felt a chill set upon the warm fuzzy playful feeling inside her. Healing. The word reminded her that there was much to heal, that things were not at all okay with Danny, that one wild—and okay, she’d admit it, super hot—shared experience did not make everything okay. She made herself picture Kelly at his sad GreenGrub desk to strengthen her resolve.
Ajuni had finished speaking, and the yogis were rolling up their mats and streaming out the door. Adele could feel Danny looking at her, smiling expectantly, could almost hear him about to start speaking, but she didn’t look up to check. She hurried toward the door with her hastily rolled mat before he could utter a word. She didn’t look back once on the walk to her cabin.
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