I turn back to the party girls and thank them for the information. I decide to get off of the line, and go to the front of the store to see if I can just go in and buy my book without having to wait. I spot a security guard as I reach the doors.
“Excuse me, I just need to run in and buy a book. Please tell me I don’t have to wait on this line,” I say as I give him my best pouty face look.
“You can enter to my left to go into the main store, just make sure to stay away from the line for the autograph signing.”
Relief floods over me as I smile at him. “Okay, I will. Thank you!” He gives me a barely noticeable head nod and I make my way into the store. The main floor is practically empty, just a few customers flipping through books and a few employees manning the cash registers. To the far right of the store by the escalators, I can see where the line of mostly girls starts for the autograph signing. Why is a singer signing books anyway? Don’t they usually do album signings? As I look over the wall to where the escalator goes down to the lower level, I can see a handful of big, burly men which I can only assume is additional security hired to keep the crowd under control. Beyond the men, I spot an empty table with stacks of books, markers, and a few bottled waters. I guess the man of the hour hasn’t arrived yet. What was his name again? Something Garza? It doesn’t matter. The quicker I find the book I need, the quicker I can get out of here and to dinner. I decide to make a quick pit stop to the ladies room, since I have just spent the better part of an hour standing outside in the chill of the night. The weather in New Jersey is starting to warm after a brutal winter, and an unusually rainy spring. It’s mid May and the summer is drawing nearer but even though the days are getting warmer, the nights tend to still be a little bit on the cooler side, especially this close to the ocean. I live less than 2 miles from the beach and as much as I love living by the shore, the weather can certainly be unpredictable.
I make my way to the back of the store, down an empty hallway where the restrooms are located and proceed to the ladies room. I finish up and wash and dry my hands quickly, taking a quick look at myself in the mirror before leaving the bathroom. As I open the door, I glance out and see a man walking into the otherwise quiet hallway, causing me to stop short. He is quite possibly one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen in my life. He is tall, at least 6’1” with relatively short but thick dark brown hair and milk chocolate-colored eyes that are shaped like almonds. His nose is perfectly sloped, and the sight of his full lips makes me pause for a moment. He has a square jaw that lets you know he’s all man and a body that can make anyone’s heart flutter. I can tell by the fit of his button down shirt and his jeans that he’s built. It’s obvious that he works out and keeps in shape but he’s not too bulky. Simply put, if there was such a thing as perfect, he’d be it. His eyes meet mine and his lips curl up in a tentative smile. I lose all power to move or breathe. I’m pretty sure I look like an idiot but I have no control over my body at the moment. As he makes his way to the door of the men’s room, he greets me politely. “Hi.”
My body unsticks and I reply with a “Hello” as I look away and walk out of the bathroom. Unfortunately, I don’t get very far as the strap of my purse gets caught on the door handle. I lose my grip on it and it drops to the floor, spilling everywhere. Of course, how could I expect anything less with the disastrous day that I’ve had. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I’m consumed by sheer embarrassment. I shake my head and bend down to pick up the contents of my purse.
“What else can go wrong today?” I murmur to myself. I see a pair of feet appear in my line of sight.
“Here, let me help you with that,” the handsome stranger says as he bends down beside me and starts picking up items.
I look up from the ground and my breath catches at the sight of him. What is it about this guy that makes me flustered? It’s not like I’ve never seen a hot guy before. Hell, I’ve even dated my share of hot guys but there is something about this one that makes me react like a complete loon. I manage to get control of my power of speech. “Thank you, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, I can’t seem to function properly.”
He chuckles at my comment. “It happens. Everyone has those kinds of days.” He reaches for my compact mirror at the same time as I do causing our fingers to graze. His fingers against mine sends a shiver through me. I can’t remember the last time I had this kind of reaction to a man. In fact, I’m pretty certain that I never have. I gather up the last of my things, toss them in my bag and start to stand as he hands me the items he’s picked up. “Here you go.”
I look up at him and manage a small smile. “Thanks for your help,” I say softly.
“You’re very welcome….”
“Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth, it was my pleasure. I hope the rest of your evening goes better,” he says.
I look down at the ground and giggle. “Yeah, it’s been pretty bad. I’m almost scared to do anything else for fear of what might happen. I should probably just go home and lock myself in till tomorrow.” I look up and catch him smiling. Not a forced smile but a genuine one that makes my knees melt.
“You’re probably right, but then you won’t get your autograph, right?”
“Oh, I’m not here for that. I’ve never even heard of the guy. I just came in to get a book.”
He looks almost surprised. “Oh, I just assumed that you were a fan of…”
“No, no, I mean, I’m sure he’s great and all, there are like a thousand girls on line looking like they are waiting to see the crowned prince but I don’t know much about Latin music so I’m kind of at a loss.”
“Right, of course.” He continues to stare at me for a moment. I almost think that he’s about to ask me for my number, actually I’m hoping he does…but he doesn’t. I have to get away from him and out of this store before I embarrass myself any further.
“Well, thanks again for your help. I have to grab my book and get out of here. I’m in kind of a rush.” I don’t wait for a reply. I walk out of the hallway and back into the store as quickly as I can. I look at my phone again. Seven nineteen. “I can still make it if I hurry.”
I grab the book for Gemma, pay for it and bolt from the store as quickly as I can. I’m not too far from the restaurant so I opt to walk rather than get my car. With the crowd of people still surrounding the bookstore, I figure it will be quicker by foot. As I make my way to the restaurant, I can’t help but to think of him, the stranger at the bookstore. I didn’t even get his name. I gave him mine but it never even occurred to me to ask for his. No wonder he didn’t ask me for my number, he probably thought I wasn’t interested. I seriously need to work on my flirting skills. What am I even thinking? Flirting skills? Me? I wouldn’t even know how to flirt if I tried. It’s been so long since I’ve even had a date. My life has been filled with nothing more than work, the occasional outing with my best friend, Jordan, and spending time with my family. Men aren’t even on my radar and I’m not sure that I’d ever allow them to be again. Maybe it’s a good thing Hot Stranger didn’t ask for my number. I don’t need anything or anyone messing with my life right now. The life that I’ve worked so hard to get control of again. No, I cannot let anyone destroy my peaceful existence, not even someone who made my knees weak with a simple smile. I enter the restaurant and the hostess escorts me to the small, private room in the back where my family is surely waiting for me.
“Auntie Elle!”
“Hey, Gemma. Happy Birthday, honey!” I say as I hug my niece. “How’s it feel to be 13? You’re officially a teenager now.” Gemma is tall for her age, almost as tall as I am. She has the signature Brooks family brown hair and brown eyes and already knows more about fashion than I do.
“It feels absolutely no different,” she says with a smile. She looks down at the bag in my hand “Whatcha got there?” she asks expectantly.
“What, this?” I ask teasingly. “You want this?”
“Please tell me that’s what I th
ink it is!” she begs.
I can’t help but giggle. “Oh alright, I’ll put you out of your misery. Here you go.”
“Ahhh, thank you so much, Auntie Elle!” she shrieks as she throws her arms around me.
“You’re welcome, honey.”
I walk further into the room greeting some cousins, uncles and aunts until I finally reach my brother, Gavin, and my father. “Hi, Dad. Sorry I’m late,” I say as I kiss his cheek. My father, at first glance, is an intimidating man. At 6’2”, he towers over me. He has the body of a linebacker, well, maybe a retired linebacker, salt and pepper hair and dark eyes. The eyes are what I found to be most intimidating when I was growing up. Of course, now I know that my dad is a big softie at heart but he could aim his eyes at you and glare a certain way that would make even the bravest man cower. I think he perfected that look in his years as a police detective. He retired from the force last year, much to my relief, and has spent most of his time since then traveling.
“It’s okay, kiddo. You haven’t missed anything,”
I turn to my brother and give him a hug. “Hey Gav.”
“Hey, I see you found the book?”
“Yeah, I did. I had to fight my way through a massive crowd of girls waiting to meet some Latin singer but I got it.”
“Well thanks, sis. I’m glad Gemma can count on you for stuff like that.” I smile and give him a nod.
Gavin is as tall as my dad, slender, with brown hair that needed to be cut about two weeks ago but still looks good on him. He is a catch but my brother just doesn’t want to be caught. He has dedicated himself to being the best dad he can be and women are secondary. I guess you can say that he is a bit of a serial dater. I, on the other hand, also don’t want to be caught but I don’t even bother dating.
Gavin is older than me by four years. He was 22 when Gemma was born and completely unprepared to be a father. The girl he had been dating for a little over a year got pregnant and decided that she wasn’t ready to be a mother. I can’t necessarily say that I blame her, having a child at 20 can’t be easy. She tried to convince Gavin that the best option would be to give the baby up for adoption but Gavin would not consent to that. They fought about it for the majority of the pregnancy until near the end when Gavin finally fessed up to Mom and Dad about what was going on. They supported him and together they convinced his girlfriend to sign away her rights to the baby and give Gavin full custody. I’ve always looked up to my brother but the way he fought for Gemma made me completely idolize him. As a family, we all chipped in and helped him to take care of Gemma until Gavin was able to finish college, get a job in a marketing firm and move into his own home with her.
Three hours later, dinner is finally over and the only people left in the restaurant are Dad, Gavin and myself. Gemma sweet-talked her way into a sleep over at a friend’s house. I sit at the table sipping flat cola from a straw. As I stare out the window, my mind goes back to the bookstore, back to those milk chocolate eyes that did something unexplainable to me. It was an unfamiliar feeling. I’m still not sure what to make of it. I can’t, however, deny that it was a good feeling. It had the power to scare me and excite me all at once. I’ve had my share of lovers and relationships but the concept of love is foreign to me. I had thought I’d been in love once but it turned out to be a bad imitation. A relationship which left me so torn and tattered that it took me years to come back from the emotional damage that it caused. Hell, if I’m being honest with myself, I’m still kind of an emotional misfit. Some scars never really heal and because of my newfound need for self-preservation, I’ve constructed a coat of armor so strong that it will never be penetrated. It’s a price I am willing to pay to make sure that I never get hurt again.
“Kiddo, you okay? You look miles away.” I snap out of my daze and turn my head to face my father.
“Yeah Dad, I’m fine. Just tired. It’s been a long day.” He has a look that says he doesn’t believe me but he lets it go and gives me a small smile.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says to Gavin and I. They both move to get up. I join them but decide that I need a moment alone.
“You guys go on ahead. I have to use the bathroom.”
Gavin, picking up his jacket and putting it on, says, “Are you sure, Elle. We can wait for you?”
“Yes, Gav, I’m sure. I’ll give you both a call tomorrow.” I hug and kiss them both and, as they leave, I head to the bathroom. I walk in, go to the sink and splash some cold water on my face. I dry myself off and take a look in the mirror. I barely recognize the reflection. Looking back at me is a woman who is very different from the woman I used to be. Dark hair that used to be blonde, little makeup where there used to be more, conservative clothing where there used to be young trendy fashion. I mean, I don’t look like a nun or anything. I actually look good, but it’s certainly a far departure from what I looked like two years ago. I take one final glance in the mirror and turn to leave the bathroom. It’s definitely about time for this day to come to an end.
Excerpt from Desperation of Love
Book #2 in the “Of Love” Series
Available Now!
By
Alice Montalvo-Tribue
Prologue
I don’t want to open my eyes this morning. To face the day after the beauty of the night before seems almost cruel. Keeping my eyes firmly closed, I try to shut out the memories of my past. They always seem to surface at times like these, overshadowing the moments of joy. Being the product of divorced parents is never easy, but when you spend the majority of your childhood being used like a pawn in a vicious chess game, it’s kind of hard not to be at least a little screwed up. On top of that, add the feelings of abandonment that I’ve struggled with for years and now I’m nothing but a mess. Here I am, 32 years old, and you’d think that I’d be over it by now. You’d assume that I’d be smart enough to understand that I shouldn’t let my issues and my parents’ ugly relationship affect me. Well, I’m not that smart, and for as long as I can remember, I have single-handedly sabotaged every relationship I’ve ever had with a man. It’s not that I don’t long for something more, for the kind of love that could last a lifetime, I do. But the paralyzing fear of ending up broken and alone is enough of a motivator to keep me rooted in solitude. My need for self-preservation has become greater than my need for love. It’s not even that I’m afraid to date, I date all the time. I take what I can for as long as I can get it and then I move on. I dated Mark for seven months. That is a new record for me. But when he started pressuring me for more of a commitment, I began to push him away. He knew what I was doing and thought that the best way to combat my commitment issues was for us to move in together. Dumb suggestion on his part. That was the last nail in the coffin for me. Much like my best friend, Elle, I made a decision to close the door on romantic relationships. She had endured a traumatic experience that resulted in many physical and emotional scars. That’s why it was so gratifying to see her walk down the aisle toward Victor last night. Her path to love gives me hope that maybe I can get out of my own way long enough that I might be able to experience it one day. I sincerely doubt it, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to hope.
When I finally decide to open my eyes and face the day, I’m blinded by the sun shining through my drapes. The bright rays are doing nothing to ease my hangover. I partied with reckless abandon last night and I have the headache to prove it. I turn my back toward the window, trying to block the potent morning rays and what I encounter sobers me up pretty quickly. In all honesty, I’m stunned to find the figure of a man lying next to me. A man that with one look can send me spiraling out of control. I knew from the moment I met Alex Garza that, given the opportunity, he would cause nothing but trouble for my heart. I fought a good fight but ultimately he’s gotten his way and somehow has ended up in my bed. Fuck!
Chapter 1
Four months later.
I haven’t seen him since the morning after Victor and Elle’s wedding when I found him in my bed.
The sad part is that I can’t even remember the events of that night. I know I partied and got drunk, well wasted, really, but the moments that led up to me waking with Alex are all a blur. And I sure as hell don’t want to ask him what happened. So, I did what any self- respecting woman would have done in my situation. I snuck out…of my own house. I did the walk of shame out my front door, slid into my car, and drove to my friend’s house, where I hid out for the remainder of the day. He called me several times that day but I let every call go to voicemail. I just couldn’t face him, and I made sure to avoid him over the last few months. He eventually gave up trying to contact me, but I knew my luck wouldn’t last forever and now he’s back.
Victor and Elle finally found a house that they love, right on the beach, and moved in last weekend. This left Elle’s little cottage empty, and since Alex is Victor’s only brother and they are going into business together, opening up a recording studio, it only makes sense for Alex to move into it. He gave up his apartment in New York and is moving to town this weekend. I’d been hoping to stay far away from him, but Elle insisted that the four of us go out to dinner tonight to welcome him to town. She basically backed me into a corner. If I decline, I’m afraid that she might suspect that there’s something going on between me and Alex. I also don’t want Alex to think I can’t sit through a meal with him especially when he’s done nothing wrong.
That leads me to now, sitting in my car, in the parking lot of the restaurant where we’re all supposed to meet up. Elle sent a text a few minutes ago, letting me know that the three of them are waiting for me inside, yet I can’t move. I’d never admit this to anyone but the thought of seeing Alex again is attacking my system with an overload of emotions. A part of me is actually excited to see him because I’m very attracted to him, but I’m also cautious because I don’t want him to know how he affects me. More importantly, I’m just plain embarrassed for getting trashed, bringing him home to do God knows what, and then bailing immediately afterwards. It wasn’t one of my better plans. Under normal circumstances, I would have no issue with a one night stand. I might’ve even embraced it. But this is different. This is my best friend’s brother-in-law, and it’s all just a little too close for comfort. I’m going to have to see this guy and be around him for years to come, and it’s best to just put that night behind us.
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