“Sounds like a different world,” I said, trying to imagine what it must be like.
“In some respects it is, but the people want the same things we want here. Water, jobs, medical care. A house to come to at the end of the day and safe, clean schools for their children. Human needs and wants are universal.”
“I guess I never thought about it. The work you do is so deep and important. I’m starting to feel self-conscious about the fact that I help people plan the most excessive day of their lives.”
“Don’t compare it. What you do is important. Those memories of the wedding day last forever. Just because it’s not life saving doesn’t mean it’s not life changing.”
I bit down on my bottom lip and stole a peripheral glace at him. “That was deep.”
“I’m a deep guy.”
“Not your average jock.”
“I try never to be average.” He laughed heartily.
“I’ve always known that.” Those words were meant to stay in my head, but they escaped my mouth.
Ethan paused a moment and then asked, “How could you? I was still a kid when you graduated from college.”
“But I could tell you were mature. I remember thinking how nice it was that you turned out so great after your mom left you to –” I stopped myself. I wanted to insert an entire wedding cake in my mouth.
“It’s okay. You can say it. It is what it is. After my mother ran off with a boyfriend and killed herself taking drugs.” His voice came down an octave. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “I accepted my mother’s choices a long time ago and the older I get the more I understand that that’s all we can do. Wishing it was different doesn’t change it and not talking about it doesn’t make it disappear.”
“Still I didn’t mean to bring your mother up again. We just talked about her last night,” I said.
“It’s cool.” He cast a glance at me. “We’re both orphans. It’s not like you don’t understand what I’m feeling.”
“You can’t stop the people you love from having time in your head. I believe you can control your thoughts, take captive every one and bring it under submission… just like it says in the Bible, but I think about my parents every day whether I want to or not.”
Ethan raised his hand to his chest and pointed an index finger at his heart. “That’s because they’re in here. They’re not just in our heads. I like to believe that the good part of them stays with us.”
I smiled. We had been silent for a few minutes when I continued, “I can’t stop wondering how different I would have been if I’d been raised in a house with a woman in it.”
Ethan let go of the steering wheel and took the hand that was closest to him. “Well, if it means anything to you, I can’t imagine that you’d be any more perfect than you are now.”
I looked at him and he took his eyes off the road for a second and caught mine.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks for saying that. You have no idea how much it means right now.’
“Don’t second guess yourself. I know that it might be hard with your sister marrying your ex and all, but still…Terrance wasn’t the right man for you anyway.”
“I always thought he was. The only reason we broke up was because I wouldn’t stay in Garrison and he wouldn’t leave.”
“No, it’s not. You think it is, but if you were meant to be together somebody would have caved. You would’ve set up shop in Atlanta or he would’ve found something to do up north. You just weren’t meant to be together.”
I sighed. “So you think he and Janette are?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything about what they’ve got going on, but they seem happy together.”
A part of me wanted to believe that. The part that loved my sister, but still Terrance’s behavior was questionable. “If they’re so happy, why is he swinging at you?”
Ethan chuckled. “He’s wanted to hit me for years. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Somehow I don’t believe that’s it,” I said, looking out the window and taking in the beautiful fall colors that decorated the trees.
“Maybe you need to ask him.”
I closed my eyes and hugged my arms to my chest. “I’m afraid of what he’ll say.”
“Come again.” Ethan gave me a quick glance.
I sighed loudly. “It’s weird. I want him to marry my sister because she’s pregnant, but then again, I don’t. I want him to love her not just be obligated to her. Marriages that begin like that seldom work.”
“Yeah, but that’s her choice. She’s knows what she’s getting herself into. Have you talked to her about it?”
“No. I don’t like to talk to her about the marriage.”
“You’re planning the wedding.”
“Yeah, and that and a marriage are two different things.”
Ethan tightened his grip on the steering wheel again. I knew he was about to say something deep. “Go the distance, big sis and do what you came here to do. Make sure your little sister is okay.”
He delivered the depth I was anticipating. I sighed and nodded. He was right. If I was going to be here the least I could do is what I said I would do. “How did you get to be so wise for a youngster?”
“Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, babe.” He winked. “I keep telling you that.”
I slapped his arm. “You are so…I don’t even know.”
“Irresistible.” He laughed and the sound made me feel all warm inside. It was unnerving and seemingly stronger than the nausea, because I hadn’t felt sick the entire ride.
***
We arrived at our first location where I was planning to get the majority of the items I needed. Last night, I decided to go with the first thing that came to mind when she told me fuchsia was her color. The wedding would have a “Blissful pink” theme. A mix of soft and vibrant colors, traditional, yet fun. The reception hall would be decorated with hanging miniature lights and large flowers displays. We’d have traditional place settings and place cards and candles, but we’d make it fun with a cotton candy stand for wedding favors and we’d light sparklers for the exit rather than throw confetti or rice. The vision of the event came to me in a flood of images. It was like a dam was unlocked. I was going to be in the zone from now until she said I do.
Ethan and I hit a few other stores, but we couldn’t find everything I needed. I didn’t have time to order. I was disappointed and he sensed it.
“Where do you usually get this kind of stuff?”
“E-commerce stores. That’s the way it’s done these days. There’s a brick and mortar store in Mason, North Carolina. I could place an order, but even if I put a rush on it, there’s no guarantee I’ll have it in time for the wedding.”
“What’s Mason near?”
“It’s a small city halfway between Fayetteville and Wilmington.”
Ethan was thoughtful for a few seconds. “That’s an easy spot to get to. We should go there.”
“Go to Mason?” Just thinking about that long drive brought on nausea. “It’s too far.”
“We could fly.”
“And how would we get everything back? It’s bound to be too heavy to check in baggage claim.”
“It won’t be if it’s the only baggage.”
I was perplexed and he read my expression. He removed his phone from his pocket and raised a finger to quiet me while he dialed.
“Hey Keith. Yeah, I’m still here. Look, if you’re not taking her up today, I need to borrow your plane. Sure. Okay, okay. I got it. Yes. Right now.” He ended the call and returned his phone to his pocket. “Okay, sweetheart. We’re going to Mason.”
I was still perplexed, so he continued. “I have a friend that owns a plane. It’s at Atlanta Regional airport. We’re borrowing it.”
“Are you serious?”
“I just made the call.”
“Who’s the pilot?”
“I am. I’ve flown it dozen times or so.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. Do
n’t take it personally, but I don’t really like to fly.”
“Fly. Drive. We’re going to work on that fear today. Now come on.” He grabbed my arm.
I resisted by parking by heels. “No, you don’t understand. You’ll be wearing my lunch.”
“I get you, but this is important to you so you’ll face your fears and get your work done.”
I continued to protest. “I don’t want to face my fear today.”
“Yes you do,” he said opening the truck door. “Get in.”
By the time we arrived at Atlanta Regional Airport, I was as green as Ethan’s truck. “I can’t.”
“You can,” Ethan replied.
“I don’t want to,” I insisted. “And besides, I have a rule about planes. No tiny ones.”
“You have a rule,” he guffawed. “Why am I not surprised?”
We were at a standoff. “You’re doing this today, Nectar. I’ve got my own reasons for wanting you to get over this car and plane thing, but we’ll talk about that at another time. Let’s switch places.”
“Now? In the truck?”
“Yep.” He opened his door and jumped out. Then he came around to my side and opened the door for me. Reluctantly, I climbed down and claimed the driver’s seat. Ethan closed the door behind me and jumped in where I had been.
“Okay. Start it,” he said.
I did as I was told and just like always sickness rose from my belly.
“What are you feeling?”
“You mean other than car sick?”
“Describe your exact symptoms.”
“I feel a little nausea. Warm like I could start perspiring. Just ill. It’s called car sickness.”
“You’re not feeling car sick, Nectar. The car isn’t in motion.”
I glared at him curiously. “The car doesn’t have to be in motion.”
“Yeah, it does, because being car sick is a kind of motion sickness.”
I shrugged. “I’m anticipating it.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You know so much then what is it?”
He bit his lips and drummed a finger on his knee. After few moments he said, “I think you know.”
Silence enveloped the vehicle for a long time. I gripped the steering wheel and started straight ahead. Every time I turned my head to look at Ethan his eyes compelled me to go where I didn’t want to go emotionally. I did know what it was, but I had never talked about it, not until now. “The car accident.”
“I’m no therapist, but that’s what I’m guessing.” He reached for my hand, peeled the one closest to him off the wheel and gave it a tight squeeze. “Tell me about it.”
I hesitated. Tears filled my eyes. I took a deep breath before speaking. “I was in the car with her when she was killed. I was in the back seat of course. I don’t remember it that clearly. Just the bang. My mom not answering me when I cried. The police and the ambulance.”
Ethan nodded. I hadn’t talked about that day in a long time. I felt a sharp pain, but it wasn’t in my body, it was a jab in my soul. Ethan squeezed my hand. “It’s never occurred to you that that might be why you get sick in a car?”
I shook my head. “Not really.” I blinked back tears. “I get sick on planes too. She didn’t die in a plane crash, so I can’t see what it has to do with planes.”
He shrugged. “It might not be about the car. It could be the loss of control.”
I nodded. “Control.” I’d thought this myself. Gayle had even suggested I see a therapist. “How do I get over it? I mean short of visiting a shrink.”
“Well therapy isn’t a terrible thing. I had to see someone after I hurt my knee. We talked about a whole lot of stuff besides my knee.”
I appreciated him being brave enough to share that with me, but I wasn’t sure how the plan would work today and I said so. “How’s it going to help me with this plane ride?”
“I’m going to be therapy for you. You pray and squeeze my hand every time you feel bad.”
I chuckled through tears, opened my bag and removed a tissue. “You’re going to be bruised.”
He reached for a fallen tendril of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “But you’ll be better.” He lowered his hand to my chin, tipped it up and planted a kiss on my forehead. “That’s all that matters.”
I took a deep breath and opened the door. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter 10
The flight from Atlanta to Fayetteville was nearly painless. For the thirty minutes I gripped Ethan’s hand every couple of minutes. When he was using both hands I clutched his upper arm and grabbed onto his knee. I was a wreck. Ethan squeezed my hand back and spoke comforting words that took my mind off the fact that I was in a small plane and had absolutely no control over the circumstances. I said some prayers that helped, but most of it was my resolve to not get sick and Ethan’s resolve to help me through it. We made a great team.
Ethan rented a car at the airport. Using GPS, we made it to the store with two hours to spare before closing time, but we found a sign on the door that read: Closed for family emergency. Will reopen in the morning.
I stood on my tip toes and leaned against the glass door to look in. “No way. We suffered through all that for nothing?”
Ethan peeked in the glass also. “What are we looking for?” he asked. “A miracle?”
I groaned. “I can’t believe we came all this way for nothing.”
“It wasn’t a total waste. You’re over your fear of small planes.”
“But I still don’t have the stuff I need for Janette’s wedding.” I dropped my head back. “This isn’t good.”
Ethan put a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t stress. We’ll come back in the morning.”
I fell into step next to him as we walked back to the rental car. “You mean stay overnight?”
He pushed the key fob for the locks and opened my door. “We’ll check into a hotel, eat some dinner and relax.”
I decided not to buck at that idea. This store was really the place I needed for my list and it was so generous of him to offer.
We climbed back in the SUV and drove to a Holiday Inn Express we’d passed coming into town. Ethan put the car in park and hopped out.” He was only inside for a minute. “It’s full.”
We stopped at another and another. They were all full. Finally, the last hotel in town had one room.
“Why aren’t there any rooms in this town?” I asked the desk clerk.
“There’s a convention for the direct sellers association. The only reason we have this room is because someone became sick and checked out an hour ago.”
Lucky for us I guess, but then realized Ethan and I had to share. “What kind of room is it?” I asked hoping it was a suite big enough to sleep a family of ten.
“It’s a King.” The clerk replied.
“One bed?”
“And a sofa sleeper,” he said.
I sighed. “That’s not going to work.”
Ethan shot a glance in my direction and passed the clerk a credit card. “We’ll take it.” I gave him the side eye and he threw up his hands. “I’m not sleeping in the rental car.”
We had dinner at a burger place across the street from the hotel, picked up a change of clothes and some toiletries at the local Target and headed back to our hotel.
We entered the room and both stopped near the door and stared at the lone bed.
“Oh my God,” I murmured.
“You don’t need God. I’m only twenty-nine, so your rule will keep you.”
I smacked his arm.
He laughed. “Seriously, I’m on the couch and I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”
“Are you capable of that?”
He put his hands on both my shoulders. “I think I’ve proven myself to be more than capable. The question is are you?”
My heart was beating out of my chest. I didn’t say what I was thinking, which was I hope so. I looked toward the restroom, desperate for a way to separate myself from him alrea
dy. The room was large, but shrinking by the second. “Ladies first?”
“Ladies first in all things,” he replied. I didn’t miss the subtle, yet suggestive change in his tone.
What a player.
Once in the restroom, I showered, slid on the two piece lounge set I’d purchased and brushed my teeth.
I found Ethan on the balcony. I understood why he was out there. The sun was setting. The skyline was beautiful.
“Can I join you?” I asked, stepping out.
He turned to me, gave me a visual sweep from head to toe and replied, “I’d like nothing better.”
“Is that the Cape Fear River?” I asked, admiring the large bridge that provided the backdrop for the rainbow of orange, yellow and brown hues that decorated the sky.
“Yep, and that’s the Memorial Bridge.”
My peripheral vision indicated he was facing me. I turned my head and glanced at him. He did another head to toe sweep and licked his lips. I was starting to feel like the dessert he’d opted to skip at the restaurant. I think he sensed my discomfort because he took a few steps away from me and turned back to face the view.
“You smell good,” he said. His voice had taken on a husky quality.
I avoided looking in his direction. So that was it. The shower gel was working on his senses. I clutched the railing and swallowed hard. Sharing a hotel room was a bad idea.
“Watching the sun set is my favorite thing to do.” Ethan perched an arm on the balcony railing and turned toward me again. “Well, one of them.”
Pulse pounding I let our eyes connect again. “You are not behaving yourself, Ethan Wright.”
That devilish glint returned to his eyes. He chuckled. “What did I do?”
“You know what you’re doing. You’re flirting way too much and all this sexual innuendo. Stop playing with me.”
Breaking All The Rules (Book 1 - Second Chances Series) Page 9