by Anne Douglas
‘Well, maybe we should just try to support her,’ May said desperately. ‘People can’t help falling in love, can they?’
‘And maybe this Viennese fellow will want to stay here, anyway,’ said Allan. ‘Isn’t his mother Scottish? She obviously decided to follow her heart and moved to her husband’s country.’
‘Women often follow their men,’ Josh declared. ‘Doesn’t happen often the other way round. No, he’ll away home and Jinny will be left to pick up the pieces. There’ll be nothing we can do.’
‘Except talk to her,’ said May. ‘Say you will, Dad.’
‘All right, all right, I’ll talk to her.’ Josh took another slice of cake. ‘As though it’ll do any good.’
Walking round the battlements of Edinburgh Castle with Viktor, Jinny would have agreed with Josh that talking would not change how she felt. In some ways, being with Viktor had widened her horizons. In other ways, her universe had definitely shrunk to contain just one man and that was Viktor. No amount of talking could ever change that.
Twenty
There were very few places to have tea on an Edinburgh Sunday, but Jinny and Viktor found a little café in Rose Street that was open and gratefully squeezed in to escape the dark and cold.
‘None of your grand cakes here,’ Jinny whispered to Viktor, ‘but the scones look all right.’
‘And Scottish scones are famous,’ Viktor answered as a waitress brought a menu. ‘Shall I order, then?’
‘You could have toasted teacakes if you’d rather. Teacakes are another thing we’re good at.’
But they settled for tea and scones and, until they came, took pleasure in studying each other’s faces and talking about the castle, the first of the Edinburgh ‘sights’ on Jinny’s list for Viktor to see.
‘If only the days weren’t so short at this time of year,’ she sighed. ‘And on Sundays there’s nowhere to go in the evening.’
‘At least the shop windows look wonderful, dressed for Christmas, even if the shops aren’t actually open. Which reminds me …’ Viktor paused. ‘About Christmas – I meant to tell you earlier …’
Again, he halted, watching the waitress set down their tea things and a plate of fruit scones, after which they busied themselves spreading the scones with generous amounts of butter.
‘Tell me what?’ asked Jinny, pouring the tea.
‘That I’ll be going home for it. Christmas, that is.’
She set down the teapot, her dark eyes wide. ‘Going home for Christmas? Why, you’ve only just come!’
‘I know, and I had no plans to go back. It was arranged that my parents would come over and we’d have a Scottish Christmas and New Year – my mother’s idea. My father was in a state about leaving his business with his assistants. But now it seems my mother’s health has not been good and she doesn’t want to make the trip, so I said I’d go home.’ Viktor’s eyes on Jinny were appealing. ‘I’ll only be away for the week – it’s not long.’
‘Oh, well, if your mother’s not well of course you’ll have to go.’ Jinny ate a piece of her scone, keeping her gaze on her plate. ‘I expect she’ll be missing you anyway, won’t she?’
‘You’re thinking of what I told you about her?’
‘Well, you did make out she couldn’t do without you, like my dad says about my sisters and me.’
‘She agreed to my coming here, though. And it’s natural to want family at Christmas. If she’d been fit we’d have all been together at my uncle’s.’
‘Yes, well, as you say, you’ll only be gone a week.’
Viktor caught at Jinny’s hand across the table. ‘Why did I say it would not be long? It’ll be a lifetime, to be away from you.’
She raised her head. ‘You mean that?’
‘You know I do!’
Happiness was restored and the café seemed filled with sunlight, even though outside the city remained gripped by winter, and as they drank more tea and took a second scone each, Viktor’s Christmas departure seemed very far away.
Eventually, of course, they had to leave, and as they met the cold rush of air in the street Jinny, clinging to Viktor’s arm, said she supposed she’d better go home.
‘Oh, why?’ cried Viktor. ‘It’s not late. You need not go yet.’
‘I think maybe I’ll go back and sweeten up Dad by not being late.’
‘From what you’ve told me he’s not likely to be sweetened unless you stop seeing me.’
‘That’s not going to happen. But come on, you can walk me home.’
‘A little more time together – that’s good.’
As they faced the bitter wind and made for the Lothian Road, Jinny looked up into Viktor’s face. ‘Mind if I ask you something? It’s about your uncle.’
‘Uncle John? Why has he entered your head?’ Viktor laughed. ‘What is it?’
‘Well, I was wondering – have you told him we’ve been out together?’
Viktor hesitated for only a moment. ‘No, I haven’t.’
‘But doesn’t he wonder what you do? I mean, going to the theatre, for instance. Does he think you went on your own?’
‘Well, he’s out so much – to Rotary and so on, that he’s hardly ever in when I go out, and so far he’s never asked exactly what I do.’
‘I suppose that’s easier.’
‘Yes, much easier than someone checking on you all the time.’
‘But would he – you know – mind if he thought you were with me?’
‘No, why should he?’
‘I don’t know.’ Jinny walked in silence for a few moments. ‘He might not think it’s a good idea.’
‘I don’t see why. He’s not like your father.’
‘But you’re only here for a short time; he might not want you to get involved.’
‘Is that what you think, Jinny?’
‘No! You know I couldn’t think that. I don’t let myself think of how long you’ll be here.’
‘Nor do I!’
Viktor stopped and drew her into his arms, holding her close and disregarding passersby. They began to kiss and continued kissing, strongly and passionately, over and over again.
‘Don’t let us spoil this,’ Viktor whispered as they finally drew apart, catching their breath. ‘All that matters is that we have found each other and are together now. Who knows what will happen in the future?’
But Jinny was too out of breath to answer, and too enchanted to consider anything but the present.
After a lingering farewell outside the flat in Fingal Street, Jinny was dreamily mounting the stairs only to find Allan Forth appearing above her with a smiling May in the background.
‘Allan? What are you doing here?’ asked Jinny.
He, too, was smiling. ‘There’s been a development. I’m allowed to come to the flat now. I’m off, but May will tell you all about it.’
‘When I’ve said goodbye to you, dearest. Wait there, Jinny.’
Standing in wonder at the flat door, Jinny waited for her sister, who eventually came back, looking, Jinny told her, as though she was a cat who’d been drinking the cream.
‘You should know – you look the same yourself.’
‘Do I?’ Jinny blushed. ‘Oh, well, never mind, tell me what’s been happening.’
‘You know I told you what Allan was planning to say to Dad? Well, he said it, and it did the trick. As soon as Dad heard I’d leave and marry Allan straight off if he didn’t turn reasonable, he more or less caved in. I asked him how he’d have felt if Granddad had refused to let him court Ma, and that brought it home to him as well – that he had to change. In the end he agreed to let Allan visit here. We’re to have a long engagement but get married in the end, and that was that.’ May flung her arms round Jinny. ‘Oh, I’m so happy, Jinny – so relieved!’
‘And I’m happy, too. For you.’ But then Jinny drew back a little. ‘How about me, then? Is Dad going to speak to me again? Am I allowed to go out with Viktor without thunder in the air?’
May’s
smile faded. ‘I don’t think Dad’s happy about Viktor yet. He says you’ll end up with a broken heart.’
‘That’s my business, May. He’s no need to interfere!’
‘I did get him to agree to talk to you, Jinny, so let’s see how things go, eh? Vi’s back – she’s frying up some cold potatoes and bacon. We haven’t had any tea yet.’
‘Smells good,’ Jinny said cheerfully as she and May entered the living room, and Vi, bouncing in from the cooker, grinned, while Josh looked up from a mystery novel he was reading but said nothing.
‘Hello, Dad!’ Jinny called.
‘Dad,’ warned May, as he returned to his book again.
‘Hello, Jinny,’ he replied at last. ‘Been out with that German, then?’
‘Austrian, Dad. Yes, we went round the castle and had some tea in Rose Street.’
As May began to set the table, Jinny sat down by the fire and held out her hands to the blaze. ‘He’s going home for Christmas. His mother’s not well.’
‘Oh, yes?’
Josh turned a page of his book and Jinny, glancing across at her sisters, sighed heavily and asked herself: if this was what Dad called talking, it wasn’t exactly a breakthrough, was it? One step forward, how many back? But what did it matter? As she turned her eyes to the fire and watched the leaping flames, all she could see was Viktor’s handsome face as he drew her into his arms, and all she could think of were his kisses. No cold treatment from her father could blank those things from her mind.
Twenty-One
In the December weeks that followed, Jinny and Viktor met outside work as often as they could, though each had decided that they should play down their relationship at the bakery itself.
‘Imagine the teasing!’ Jinny had exclaimed to Viktor, without adding that she really didn’t want folk such as Senga pointing the finger and delighting in thinking Jinny would be left high and dry when Viktor returned to Vienna. As though Senga wouldn’t have changed places with her at any time! You only had to see the way her eyes followed Viktor, and to know how disappointed she’d been when Bob and Norah had been chosen to help him with the making and decorating of his cakes that had become so popular.
Jinny’s idea, then, was to keep her affair with Viktor secret, hugging it to herself with special elation, while Viktor himself was relieved that his uncle need not know about his feelings for Jinny – at least for the time being. He might not object. On the other hand, he might inform his sister, and the last person Viktor wanted to be told was his mother. He would certainly not be telling her himself when he went home at Christmas, for what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. Whether or not she would have to know sometime was a question he kept at the back of his mind, just as Jinny kept the knowledge that he would one day return to Vienna at the back of hers.
Were they living in a fool’s paradise? That was another question not to be asked, though when they were together they might well have considered they were in paradise anyhow. Other considerations could be put aside while they went to see films or plays, visited the sights on Jinny’s list – museums, galleries, the Canongate, the Palace of Holyroodhouse – or walked in wintry landscapes outside Edinburgh, while Viktor put German names to the things they saw and Jinny practised her pronunciation.
What her father thought of the continuing relationship was plain enough, but he no longer spoke of it, saying very little at all, in fact, to Jinny. Although grieved by his attitude, she had trained herself to put up with it. Meanwhile, as time flew by, she and Viktor made the most of what they had, dreading farewell even for a short period.
‘My uncle says with Christmas coming I must do some overtime.’ Viktor sighed. ‘Work with Bob and Norah so that they can be sure of supplying orders while I’m away. Seems everyone wants my Sachertorten for Christmas cakes here, though at home we usually have the Stollen. That’s the marzipan fruit bread, you know.’
‘Oh, don’t let Mr Comrie make you do more hours!’ Jinny cried. ‘Time is slipping away so fast, soon you’ll be away and I’ll be on my own!’
‘Why, I have been told there is staff party to look forward to. You’ll be able to dance with Terry Brown and Ross and I’ll be jealous thinking of it.’
‘There’ll only be an old gramophone for the dancing, and you are the only one I’d want to be dancing with, anyway.’
‘Though Terry and Ross are very nice fellows, particularly Ross.’
‘Yes, and Ross does know about us, you know, though he’d never tell anyone else.’
‘As I say, he is a nice fellow.’
It was true that Ross knew about Jinny and Viktor, not just that they were seeing each other but that Jinny was very deeply into the relationship and unwilling to listen to any advice he would have liked to give her. In fact, he no longer gave her any, only smiled indulgently when he saw her looking particularly excited at the end of the day, when it was obvious she was looking forward to meeting Viktor.
Sometimes, catching that smile, Jinny felt bad that Ross seemed to have so little in his life compared to her. He had friends he played golf with, she knew, and he also did some charity work, raising funds for tenement children, but when he went home to the house he’d inherited from his late father there was no one there to greet him, no girlfriend for him to arrange to meet, have a meal with or take somewhere. At least, she’d never heard that anyone had taken the place in his life of the dead fiancée, and she was sure she would have been told.
Once, she’d asked him what his interests were, and he’d told her he liked working with his hands, as a change from getting the poor old brain to work in Accounts all day. Perhaps what he did would not be interesting to her, but he liked to make things in wood – small furniture, book cases, tables, and such.
‘Why, I think that is interesting!’ Jinny had cried.
But none of it made up for his being so much on his own in her eyes. None of it was to be compared with what she had, which was being with the person she loved and who loved her. For though she and Viktor had never actually declared their love for each other in words, their eyes said it for them. Certainly, only love could cause the pain she felt as she looked at the calendar every day and saw that the day was drawing nearer and nearer when he must leave for home, and she knew from Viktor’s face that he was feeling the same.
Maybe they were foolish to feel so tragic about one week’s separation, but then a week was a week, and time could stretch and seem like a year, if you were missing somebody.
Twenty-Two
On the day before he left, which was 22 December, they agreed to have a farewell meal together, for Mr Comrie was to see Viktor off at the station, which meant they could not meet there to say goodbye.
‘I didn’t want him to come,’ Viktor said wretchedly over their dinner, ‘but he thought he was doing me a favour, driving me to the station, so what could I say?’
‘Never mind. Everybody says it’s awful, saying goodbye at the station.’ Jinny took a wrapped parcel from her bag. ‘It’s better here where I can give you this and you can take it back to put in your luggage.’
‘Oh, Jinny, it isn’t a present, is it? cried Viktor, turning the parcel in his hands. ‘You shouldn’t have been spending your money.’
‘As though I wouldn’t want to give you a present at Christmas!’
He smiled fondly. ‘Well, as a matter of fact, I have something for you.’
He fumbled in his pocket as the waitress removed their plates and asked what they’d like next.
‘Just coffee, I think,’ said Jinny, adding in a low voice to Viktor, ‘if you can bear it.’
He gave the order and when the girl had gone, put a very small package into Jinny’s hands.
‘Oh, Viktor!’ Her eyes were dancing. ‘May I open it now?’
‘Strictly speaking, we should wait for Christmas Eve – that’s when we open presents at home. But as we’re not going to be together then … yes, let’s open ours now.’
Viktor was the first to reveal his p
resent, which was a fine history of Edinburgh, complete with illustrations, something he said he truly wanted and had been thinking of getting for himself, but would Jinny write in it for him? Here was his fountain pen – she could write something now.
‘What shall I put?’ she asked, taking the pen.
‘With love to Viktor, from Jinny, Christmas, 1937.’
‘With love?’
‘With love.’
He leaned forward, his eyes tender, his hand seeking hers, but she was blushing and writing what he’d told her. ‘With love to Viktor …’
‘That’s the first time that word has actually been used,’ she remarked quietly.
‘Though it’s always been there, Jinny. That’s a fact. Would you like me to say it again?’
‘I think I would.’
‘Ich liebe dich, I’ll say, then. And you know what that means?’
‘I love you.’
‘There, now you’ve used the word, too.’
He sat back as the waitress appeared with their coffee and began to replace the Christmas wrapping paper around his book. ‘Aren’t you going to open my present?’
Still flushed, she waited for the waitress to go, then looked down at the small, neat package he had given her. ‘I’m too excited.’
‘Ah, but I want to know what you think. Please … open it.’
Inside the wrapping was a small box and inside the box was a brooch on a velvet pad. A beautiful brooch, showing white, star-shaped flowers, so exquisitely fashioned that Jinny was mesmerized, already thinking it the most wonderful thing she’d ever be given.
‘Viktor, what is it?’ she whispered. ‘What’s the flower?’
‘Why, the Edelweiss, of course! Our national flower, as well as Switzerland’s and maybe Hungary’s. It’s a mountain flower, anyway.’
‘But it’s so beautiful, Viktor! Where did you find it – I mean, an Austrian brooch in Edinburgh?’
‘You’ll never guess where I got it, never. But it was somewhere very well known to you.’