by Jen Luerssen
Javi and I kiss for what feels like hours and then after more kisses at the door, he leaves. This turn of events, all of them, has thrown me off and I need to get a grip. I float to my room, get into bed and just stare at the ceiling, smiling like a loon.
My phone lights up after a while and I grab at it like I’m starving and it’s a slab of hot Colombian beef—yes I know this is my second time comparing Javi to meat—get over it.
P-dids: Hey kitten, tell me you are post-coital rn.
Lia: Not yet, amigo.
P-dids: Whaaaaa? Birch spill!
Lia: Short version-Javi broke up with Carrie over VM, kissed all reason out of me, left because I want to wait.
P-dids: . . .
P-dids: !!!
Lia: I know, you’re speechless.
Lia: I wish you were here so we could scream like the teenagers we are.
P-dids: Oh, I’m totes jumping on my hotel bed and screaming. Pretty sure hotel security will be here soon.
Lia: I love you P.
P-dids: Oh shit, someone is knocking on my door.
Lia: Ooooooh, P-dids is in trouble.
P-dids: Holy crap, it’s DANTE!
Lia: Come to spank you no doubt. Tongue emoji.
P-dids: Fingers crossed emoji.
I smile again to myself since smiling is my new favorite. Paul is on a trip to Mexico City with Dante. He’s made no progress in finding out more about Dante’s “needs” but did sit down with him at dinner one night. He is my friend and I’m biased but Paul is love, light, and everything fun. He deserves someone exceptional. Someone who won’t think it’s weird to write out the emoji instead of just using it. A person who needs joy in their life.
About 20 minutes, later my phone lights up once more.
P-dids: He was worried about me heart emoji.
Lia: Did you reassure him? Waving hand emoji, eggplant emoji<—why do we do this?
P-dids: Of course, I told him my roommate was finally tapping that 21-yr-old ass. Pointy finger emoji paired with ok emoji . . . because it’s FUN!
Lia: YOU DID NOT! Scream emoji.
P-dids: Nah, but it was a nice convo, especially because he was ONLY WEARING PJ PANTS LAWD HAVE MERCY many fire emojis!!!
Lia: Ok then, I’ll let you and your hand get on with it. Hand wave emoji, lotion emoji, tissue emoji.
P-dids: You know me so well. eggplant emoji, water squirt emoji.
Lia: Thinking of rubbing one out too. Glazed donut emoji.
P-dids: Ok, boner killer. Barf emoji.
Lia: AS IF, I’M HOT!!! Way more fire emojis than you used for Dante.
P-dids: Zzz emoji and I love you.
Lia: Middle finger emoji and I love you too.
I place my phone back on the nightstand and think about all of the kisses I’ve had in my life and how not one came close to Javier’s. My hand wanders down to rest over the front of my panties. Thinking about Javier has me all worked up and I was only half kidding with Paul just now. My hand teases over then under the elastic of my boy shorts. I’m just about to explore further when my phone lights up again.
Javi: Still thinking about you.
Lia: What a coincidence.
Javi: Can I ask what you’re thinking about me?
Lia: You first. ;)
Javi: Oh, Diva, you will always go first.
Holy swoon balls.
Lia: Smooth.
Javi: I’m thinking of all the places I’d like to kiss you.
Lia: Like on the bus, in class, on your motorcycle?
Javi: Neck, back, stomach.
Lia: Blushing.
Javi: Really? I’m not even to the good parts yet.
Lia: Tell me more.
Javi: Right under your breasts, the crease of your thigh, back of your knee.
Dying. I don’t think I’m going to survive this man.
Lia: Those are good parts. :)
Javi: Tell me, are you touching any of the good parts right now?
Lia: Perhaps.
Javi: I want to go slow with you.
Peter, Paul and Mary, YES!
Lia: Slow is good, so is not slow.
Javi: I like that you know what you want and tell me.
Lia: I like you.
Javi: You have no idea how much I like you.
Lia: I may have had an inclination when you were on top of me earlier.
Javi: Ha! My body definitely likes yours.
Lia: I like that we can say anything to each other.
Javi: Yes, although I may have some unnecessary information about you.
Lia: Most likely. Jane has rubbed off on me with her no-filter zone.
Javi: You know I only read “rubbed off” right?
Lia: God, I hope so.
Javi: You make me smile, I want to see you tomorrow.
My heart flutters and I am beaming.
Lia: Ditto and done.
Javi: You want me to leave you alone so you can go back to touching yourself, don’t you?
He really does know me well. Although I’ve already resumed stroking myself.
Lia: Like you’re not already getting handsy in your pants.
Javi: I am and I want to go to sleep so I can wake up and see you. I have one more question though.
Lia: Shoot.
Javi: How’s the zoom zoom in your boom boom?
Lia: It’s rump shaking, earth quaking and damn fine.
Javi: Same here, Diva. XX
Fucking charmer.
Lia: Fucking charmer, see you on the other side.
Javi: Good night. XO
I guess perma-smile is just my general condition now. Rolling over onto my stomach, I hug a pillow and imagine all the hot, amazing sex Javi and I are going to have while riding my hand.
This is Going to be Fun
Javier picks me up the next day on his freaking motorcycle and I get my location kiss when I straddle the seat and he plants one on me before putting my helmet on. It’s a gorgeous, clear day so we ride around the city, stopping at the Twin Peaks overlook, then heading to the Lands End trail to the west of the Golden Gate. It’s a mellow trail and we walk it hand in hand, chatting about our childhoods. When his parents split up, they gave him a choice of who to live with and he chose his father. A bit unconventional but the impression I get from other times he’s spoken of her, his mother is intense and very strict. Living with his dad gave him a lot of freedom but also more responsibility. He grew up fast which is why he is way more mature than me and pretty much everyone I know. He’s kind of an old man but he’s mine, for now.
I tell him about my typical suburban life and my parents who are great but mostly keep to themselves, especially after their divorce and subsequent remarriages. I know they love me and hope that I move back east one day (never gonna happen) but they are also content with their spouses, reading, gardening and listening to 1950’s soul music. They are simple creatures of habit and I envy their happiness, yet what make them happy would drive me nuts.
He tugs on my hand and leads me to a bench overlooking the bay as it flows into the ocean. The view is breathtaking.
“Are you cold?” he asks when I shiver.
“No, just happy to be close to you.”
He moves my braid to access my neck and dots a line of kisses along my poppy tattoo that is on the nape of my neck. I shiver again. “Me too,” he whispers and pulls me onto his lap.
“Pretty sure this is a family trail,” I say right before his lips meet mine.
His hands cradle my face and we kiss for what seems like hours but is probably not even a minute. When we break apart, he pulls me close and I snuggle into his chest. It’s a clear day but it’s almost December so it’s a little chilly. My face rests comfortably into his neck and I steal a sniff of him and then press my lips to his pulse.
“Did you just smell me?” he asks, and I feel the strong timbre of his voice vibrate through me.
“Sure did. You smell nice and now I can up front sniff you, instead of huff
ing you on the down low.”
His chest shakes with laughter. “You’ve been sniffing me before today?”
“Dude, we play games, do crossword and jigsaw puzzles and I’m next to you a lot. I’ve perfected the art of the secret sniff,” I admit, knowing he will accept this as another quirk of mine.
“I guess I’ve maybe smelled you a few times,” he says this and picks up my arm and inhales the crook of my fleece covered elbow.
“How’s that smell?” I ask, amused.
“Like mangoes and polyester.”
“Sexy,” I tease.
“On you, always.”
Fanning myself, I hop up from his lap and pull his hand to follow me on the trail. “Let’s go before we melt the bench.”
Our walk ends at the Sutro bath ruins next to the Cliff House. The baths opened in 1896 and were mostly salt water pools. They have been closed since the 60s and are now just ruins after a fire. They are stunning and Javi and I explore before heading down to Ocean Beach and then one of my favorite places for lunch, The Beach Chalet.
It’s a perfect day and I catch myself having moments of pure joy. I’ve not felt this way in a long time. Javier makes me feel beautiful, smart, and funny. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m all of those things but when the person you want to see that in you knows it too, there’s nothing like it. We touch constantly and it’s like a romance film montage, holding hands on the beach, playing footsie under the table at lunch, and kissing on his motorcycle while watching the sunset. Once it’s dark, we head back to my apartment and order pizza. Paul is gone for another few days so we are as alone as we can be, left to our own devices, able to make as much noise or take off as many clothes as we like.
We eat our pizza and watch HGTV shows in a companionable silence. Javi practically sat on top of me when he came back with beers for us and I am glued to his side. Before, we would sit close and were already a tad touchy-feely. Now? My body yearns for his and has to be close. There is a sexual undercurrent in the air, or maybe not so under. He and I talked a bit about our sexual experience in the past and let’s just say I’ve sowed way more wild oats than he has. Not that it’s a contest but I do have some years on him.
When I thought about our age difference this morning, before he came to get me, I decided to let that one go. If we are meant for each other, it has to be that way. Sure, I’ll have my doubts but we all do, it’s normal. My decision is to let my hang-ups go and see where this leads, live in the moment as much as I can.
I know, stop rolling your eyes at me, I’m trying and so nuts about Javier I can barely care about anything else. I do feel a twinge of guilt about Carrie and even Mike, but hey, we’ve all been there. I dated a guy for a year when I was 25 and I thought I was so in love with him. He dumped me for his boxing instructor and they have been married for a few years and have the cutest baby. That one hurt for a while but I got over it and hopped back into dating. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that I also have had many sexual encounters that were short lived. Ya know, one night stands. It doesn’t phase me to tell you that I love sex and if that offends you, you’re in the wrong place.
Anyhoodles, here we are, alone, after one of the most magical days of my life. Going “slow” might mean I made us wait one day because man do I want to jump him right now. One of his fabled forearms is draped across my lap and I am fondling it lazily. It’s corded with muscle, his skin a smooth caramel color, sprinkled lightly with dark hair. It’s the manliest arm I’ve ever encountered and I want to stare at it while he holds himself up on top of me very soon. I adjust his arm so his hand lays in the crotch of the cotton shorts I changed into when we got home. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him turn to look at me. I turn too and give him a half smile. His eyes burn into mine and I huff out a breath as he cups me where I put his hand. Slowly, he strokes his middle finger up and down over the outside of my shorts, but holy Keith Richards on coke, target reached.
We lock eyes and I start to pant a little. His fingers (all of them are at work now) are strumming me and it’s so erotic and I feel goosebumps rise all over my body. I shiver and come on his hand, fully clothed, staring into his eyes. This is what he does to me, has done to me since I met him. I can try to deny it but Javier and I have had this electric connection since we met and just his smile makes my nipples rock hard.
He moves his arm and pulls me onto his lap facing him in a straddle, yes, please! My ass settles on his thighs and I put my hands in his hair. “You turn me on so much, Javi. You barely need to touch me and I go supernova.”
“Fitting, since you are a star.” He pulls me closer and whispers against my lips, “I want to touch you everywhere.”
Leaning back, I remove my tank top and since I didn’t bother with a bra, I’m fully bare to him on top. He looks at me with what looks like awe and slowly he brings his hands to my front and gently cups my breasts. I arch my back slightly and lean into his touch. He grazes my nipples with his thumbs and I’m on fire. My head rolls back and my hair hits his knees. I hear him groan right before I feel his soft wet tongue on me, circling my nipple that could cut glass at this point. He then traces the Golden Gate Bridge tattoo I have under my collarbone with his fingers, followed by his tongue.
Lifting my head, I arch a little more and shift my ass forward a little and holy Tommy Lee, I make contact with his hardness. I must make some noise because I hear Javi laugh and move his hands to cup my ass and grind me onto him with some force. Our most private of places rub together, covered in clothes, creating the most delightful friction. Javi keeps grinding me into him and our foreheads touch as we watch ourselves dry hump. It should be ridiculous but it’s not. It feels amazing and I come again, shaking in Javi’s arms.
“I told you Diva, you’ll always go first.” The look in his eye is devilish pride and he kisses me once, twice, and then lifts me and throws me onto the couch. I’m immediately covered in 100% hot man and I get my wish as he holds himself over me, arms flexed and glorious. He dips in to kiss me again and then tentatively presses his erection to my core again. I grab his ass this time and press him firmly to me. He’s frantic now, and a little mindless. I kiss down his neck and lightly bite his shoulder. He then growls and makes another lovely noise and I feel wet warmth at my hip.
He pulls us so we’re laying on the couch side by side, facing each other. We are both out of breath and he is smiling at me like he just won a gold medal.
“You liked that, HFA?” I huff out
He squints at me. “HFA?”
I stroke his forearm. “Hottie forearms. Paul and I call you HFA because he and I think they are the hottest forearms we’ve ever seen.”
“Okay, I didn’t know that was a thing, but thank you?”
I laugh, “Oh, it’s a thing. There are Tumblr feeds and Twitter hashtags dedicated to hot forearms. It’s definitely a thing.”
“So, a fetish thing?” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Fetish seems like a strong word. Now, if I got my camera out while your hot as fuck forearm was laying on my crotch and I got completely off on it that might have been crossing some line. Instead, I have that image burned into my brain for an eternity of spank sessions.”
His eyes sparkle with laughter. I love making him laugh. “My forearms are at your service for as long as you’ll have them. I’m sorry I got your shorts all wet.”
“Hmm, I’ll survive, they were pretty wet already,” I tease and then get up off the couch. “I’m going to take a shower. You want to come with me or wait in my room?”
He stands up so fast he almost knocks me over. “I’ll come with you to the shower.”
How Many Licks?
Yes, Javier is in the shower with me completely nakers and I’m in heaven. The shower is a plain old tub with a fun curtain dotted with pink iced donuts. I wasn’t sure if he’d follow me but I guess we are taking this to the naked level. We both undressed in my bedroom and then walked to the bathroom with nothing on. Javi held my ha
nd and it was kind of sweet. It’s way past sweet now as we discover each other’s body slowly while kissing and occasionally washing a body part. I’m currently working on his very nice and very hard body part that is nowhere near average or small, although not a monster dick.
We continue to kiss and explore once in my room. Javier is gorgeous, we all knew this but let me tell you about his ridiculous body. His arms are strong and feel amazing around me. I could go on and on about his arms. Oh, I already have? I know, they’re awesome and worth talking about frequently. They lead to strong, broad shoulders, then an amazing back and then his ass, Jesus fucking Alice Cooper, his ass. I may write a song about his lovely, round, and firm ass.
We are standing at the foot of my bed, just ogling each other and it’s kind of funny so I let out a nervous giggle. His chest is hairy and I didn’t think I’d be into that, but damn, it’s sexy on him, especially when you get past his navel and onto the happiest of trails. I drag my finger down the trail and he takes a sharp inhale of breath and steps back. Then, an instant later, he steps completely into my space and gives me the most amazing full body hug. Wait, no, he’s lifting me. He carries me to the side of the bed and pushes me back onto the comforter. I think he’s going to come with me but he doesn’t.
Our eyes meet and we are pretty quiet for two people who are generally chatty. It’s like we know the weight of the situation, the beautiful first that this is. His knee nudges mine and I spread my legs a little. He gives me a devilish smile as he grabs hold of my legs and flips me over. His hands smooth down my back lightly and I shiver from head to toe. My legs are pulled back and I plant my feet on the floor. Oh shit, is he going to do what I think he . . .
“Fucking Prince!” I scream as he kneels behind me and licks me straight down the center. All the angels, Stevie Ray, John Lennon and Janis Joplin get together and bring me to bliss as Javier, fucking dirty mother fucker, Javier goes to town on me. All oral sessions in my history have been obliterated by the heaven that is Javi’s tongue. No licks or chewing gum in sight. I scream into the quilt as he works me over and I come all over his face.