Grown Woman

by Jen Luerssen

  I am semi-conscious after his ministrations but I hear him chuckle in my ear as he lays half on top of me. “Did I kill you, Diva?”

  “Maybe,” I say breathlessly.

  He gingerly maneuvers me so he is laying behind me, big spoon to my little. I feel him against my back, hard and warm but he just holds me as I come down from my fog of ecstasy. He sweeps my hair off my neck and nibbles that spot right behind my ear where my tiny tattoo of an outline of California sits. I have a matching New Jersey one behind my other ear.

  “You are delicious everywhere so far. I will taste every part of you eventually.” Oh boy, he’s almost too much.

  I place a hand on his forearm and squeeze. “When my heart beat is regular again I’m all about licking all over you, maybe some suction too.”

  He laughs. “I look forward to it.”

  I completely welch on that offer, and instead fall asleep. I wake up smelling something amazing. I’m alone in the bed, still naked, still with my perma-smile. I am a happy little bunny and I plan on making like a bunny on my man very soon, especially if he’s the reason my apartment smells like spicy heaven. I throw on my short silk robe that Paul brought me from Japan and head to the kitchen where Javi is cooking, and chatting, with Paul. Crap, I mean, I’m so happy to see him but he’s home way early and that cuts into my sex bunny plans.

  “P-diddums!” I squeal and grab Paul by his adorable head and squeeze it, giving him a tiny boogie. “What happened?”

  He laughs and pinches my ass. “Oh Lolita, you are glowing from the inside. Sorry to break up your party. Dante had a family emergency and we had to head back early. I texted you a few hours ago.”

  I shrug. “I haven’t checked my phone in a while.” I give him a look and turn to Javi, “What’s happening over here? It smells ridiculous.”

  Javier is wearing his tee shirt and boxer briefs, something I’m sure Paul has banked away for future torture and probably personal spank bank use. “I am making arroz con pollo, a Colombian dish my mom made for me all the time. Also known as chicken and rice. Paul is helping,” he says this with a smirk, knowing full well I know that Paul isn’t doing shit except grilling him for info and ogling his ass and forearms.

  “Hey, I found the spices for you and I stirred that one time.” Paul tries pathetically to defend himself.

  I just laugh as I walk to Javi, hug him, kiss his full, soft lips and then head to the fridge for a drink. When I turn, Paul’s eyes are wide open and his grin spans his whole face.

  “Things have been happening while Daddy’s been gone,” Paul says with censure in his tone.

  I give him a pointed look. “First of all, a big nope on the daddy thing, just gross. Secondly, yes, Javier and I have a changed relationship. Lastly, we haven’t defined the relationship yet and won’t be doing it in front of you, Pookie.”

  “Fine, but I’ll need specifics later after Javier has left and we are having alone time,” he says ignoring the fact that Javi is standing across from him.

  “Of course.” I roll my eyes and look over at Javi who looks half amused, half worried.

  I sidle up to him and put my hand on his ass. “Don’t worry, we’ll do more stuff after we eat so I can get way more specific.”

  Dinner is amazing and the company is fantastic. Javi and Paul have always gotten along but to be fair, Paul could get along with pretty much anyone. We have a heated discussion about whether Dante is secretly in love with Paul. I think so but Javi and Paul have their doubts. We take turns trying to figure out what Dante’s “needs” are and it goes south pretty fast as far as realistic options. My favorites are he gets cryotherapy and is really 85 years old but looks 35 and he jerks off while the person irons and starches his clothes. The most outlandish involved aliens and probes and yes it was my theory, whatever.

  After we wash dishes and clean up, we end up on the couch watching HGTV (naturally) for some House Hunters. I’m sitting at one end with my feet in Javi’s lap, Paul is on the other end feet up on the ottoman. He is watching us like a hawk and keeps waggling his eyebrows at me like a nutter. Javier rubs my feet lightly and it’s divine. His hands move to my calves and his feather light touch is doing things to my good parts. Once he accidentally, I think, grazes the back of my thigh with his knuckles and I sigh. He turns to me and the look on his face tells me he wants to do naughty things and I’m 100% on board. I lightly dig my heel into his crotch and he closes his eyes.

  Our little touch time is interrupted by very loud, very fake snoring. Paul has his head thrown back and his mouth wide open. I grab a tissue from a nearby box, roll it up and throw it at him. It lands in his mouth and he jerks up, sputtering and coughing.

  “Liapolis, what was that?” he looks at me with feigned innocence. “I must have fallen asleep even though you two are having frisky times in front of my virgin eyes.”

  “Okay, virgin eyes, if you’re so tired from your trip maybe an Ambien and night night is your best bet. I’d turn some music on too if I were you,” I tease. “Wouldn’t want those ears to get sullied when our frisky times escalate.”

  “You guys have the weirdest, best relationship ever,” Javi says, chuckling at our shenanigans.

  Paul get up, stretches exaggeratedly, and walks to his room. “That we do! Lia is my soul sister from another mister and deserves all the best things.”

  I think I’m in the clear and he’s not going to say something mortifying.

  “Make sure you get to the center of that tootsie roll, it takes a lot of licks,” Paul calls back. So, nope, not in the clear. “Oh, and Javier?”

  “Yes, Paul?”

  “You go down on that girl as often as you can. Just, no gum.” With that, he disappears into his room and after a minute I hear his loud Salsa music he plays while he does his nightly exercises before bed. I’m not sure exactly what those are, because the one time I asked he was way too smarmy with his replies.

  Javier is shaking with laughter. It’s nice not having to break someone into our weird ways. Javier has been hanging at my apartment for months and has experienced several cringe-worthy moments with Paul including partial nudity, choreographed routines to the 90’s classic The Sign by Ace of Base, and culinary nightmares produced by Paul and myself. If he’s still here after the night Paul and I got really drunk on appletinis, challenged each other to a burger off (where you eat as many burgers as you can, duh), then threw up in tandem in our only bathroom, he’s not easily scared away. Just for full disclosure, Paul threw up on my neck at one point in the evening. What can I say? We aren’t the most responsible or mature pair, but there’s never a dull moment.

  “So going down on me is funny?” I hitch an eyebrow at him.

  “No. Although, the first time I met you, you told a story that maybe gave that impression.” His smile has turned sexy and the heat of his hand, now purposefully on the inside of my thigh, threatens to set me aflame.

  Girding of the Loins

  I’m nervous. It’s Tuesday and I’m standing in the hallway waiting for Carol to arrive because God forbid that lady be on time. I’ve had a few moments of true pity for her. She is miserable and I’m sure her life is difficult. Where I give up on her is when she tries to spread her misery to her class. I’m a special thorn in her side for some reason, so she tends to target me when it’s time to make someone else feel her pain. I’m not nervous about Carol though, I can handle her bullshit. The rumble in my belly is exclusively for Javier. He left my house Sunday afternoon and I haven’t seen him since. We’ve texted and talked on the phone once but being in his presence is a kick to the gut, in a good way. I think I’m sweating.

  Also, a bit nerve wracking is how things are going to go with Mike. Javi and I agreed to just keep our hands off of each other in front of him and keep it status quo as far as our Bio buds go. So I have to sit with Javier less than a foot from me and try to control my horny ass. Unfortunately, the bunny situation is still unresolved. After Paul went to bed, we both fell asleep on the cou
ch. Granted, it was like four in the morning. Sometime in the early morning we moved to my bed and lazily molested each other and kissed but never made it to full consummation. It’s almost a joke between us at this point.

  Mike and Javier turn the corner and I’m hit with a full body shiver. Jesus fucking Pink Floyd, he’s wearing a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I may have mentioned that was a weakness for me. Smart mother fucker. They both give me a wave and saunter over to where I’m leaning on the wall.

  “Gentleman,” I say with a smile. “Have we all girded our loins from Carol today?”

  Javier looks down at his loins and so I do too, damn. “Mine are locked and girded,” he says while gesturing to his thighs.

  Mike is giving me an amused look and half shrug. “I’m never ready for her but I get used to her eventually.”

  We stand around shooting the shit for another ten minutes. Javier and I grill Mike about his date with tight ponytail, all while trying not to touch each other. My body is in full revolt of that idea. My hands itch to grab his ass, climb him like a tree and sit on his face. Instead, I have no idea what to do with my hands so I fiddle with the hem of my skirt. It’s relatively short and is black with cherries all over it. My matching red shirt is starting to feel tight and a little warm.

  I’m ready to call it a day when some dude walks past us and posts something on the door. Mike gets there first and reads it aloud to everyone.

  “Due to personal injury, Mrs. Lee is unable to teach today but has sent each of you an email with an assignment for Thursday. She will be back in class at that time,” he finishes and a few of us let out whoops or clap. Hey, even if we loved her class, unexpected free time for a student is gold.

  I feel the light touch of Javi’s palm on my lower back. I can only guess what he wants to do, probably what I want to do, him mainly. I open my mouth to invite him over when Mike interrupts.

  “You guys want to go to the movies?” he asks, holding tight ponytail’s hand. “Shirley and I were thinking of just heading to Stonestown and seeing what was playing.”

  I say nothing but Javi must have agreed because here we are in Shirl’s Honda Accord. Possibly the neatest car I’ve ever seen that wasn’t brand new.

  The backseat is roomy but I pretend it isn’t and move my leg as close to Javier’s as possible. If we are doing this, I’m going to make him suffer for making me hang out with these two.

  “I bet you’re disappointed you had your loins all ready and then Carol ditched us,” I say to Javier.

  “She didn’t ditch us, Lia, she has real health concerns,” Shirley scolds and oh baby, it’s on.

  I move my backpack to the middle seat so I can conceal my arm which is headed to Javi’s loins. “You’re right, Shirley, I’m being insensitive. Unlike Carol who likes to call me a prostitute whenever she gets a chance.”

  Javier’s bag is on his lap so I slide my hand under it and start to gently rub. “Oh, Lia, she is just concerned about you getting your clothes messy. You have such a great style.”

  “Well, it’s my choice what I wear then, wouldn’t you agree?” I mean, fuck this bitch if she thinks I’m going to do what Carol wants. I’m sure Shirley is a perfectly nice woman but I don’t play with that nonsense. No one tells me what I can do when it comes to my personal style, facial expressions, etc. I’m a grown woman, for Slash’s sake, and I don’t need Carol or Shirley on me about my wardrobe. Fuck. That.

  “Oh, of course. I would never,” she says quickly and sincerely.

  “I appreciate that Shirley and I think where Carol is concerned, you and should agree to disagree,” I punctuate this with a light graze of my nails against where I’m assuming Javi’s balls are sitting. He lets out a short grunt and I smile at him.

  “You okay, Javier?” Mike asks.

  “Stellar, Mike, thanks for asking, just thinking about what the special assignment might be and not looking forward to checking my email later.” Nice save. He grabs my hand and then holds it still in his lap.

  “Ugh, I’m sure it will be something ridiculous, like when she had us bag our leftovers and bring them to class. She has a thing for rotten food, that lady,” Mike turns to tell us this and I try to pull my hand but Javi holds firm. I’m pretty sure Mike can’t see what’s happening anyway but I am sensitive to his feelings.

  At the theater, we pick a new Amy Poehler comedy because you just can’t go wrong with that woman, she’s a genius. By some twist of luck, Mike leads us in and Shirley follows him to our seats. I push Javi ahead so I’m at the end and so I can continue torturing him. Although, it’s kind of backfiring, I feel like I’m in heat.

  I lift up the armrest between us when Mike isn’t looking and then lay my jacket across my lap, hiking my skirt up under it. The previews had already started when we got here so the theater is pretty dark and loud. I put the popcorn I bought on Javier’s lap and then place his hand under the jacket on my panty-free lady garden. Yes, I called it that, so what? Instead of being startled Javi is all kinds of smooth, and here’s where my plan gets thrown in my face. He starts stroking me and I am soaked, completely ready to just jump him in front of poor Mike and tight ponytail. I’m okay until he picks up the pace, clearly trying to get me to come. I feel his finger inside me and I lose it, coming in a quick wave.

  “So, Lia,” I open my eyes hearing Javi’s voice in my ear. “Are you excited for the movie?”

  “I am so excited,” I say and get up to go to the bathroom.

  I run up the aisle, step out into the hallway and try to catch my breath. The bathrooms are nearby and I go in, needing to splash some water on my face. My face is flushed, as well as my neck and chest. I look like I’ve been fooling around or drinking. I feel a little drunk. Heading back to the theater, I decide to keep my hands to myself and then drag Javier to my apartment, screw his brains out, eat and then do it again. Why oh why did I need to wait? It never works out for me. I’m an instant gratification kind of girl, I love iTunes and ebooks, Netflix and on-demand. I want my sex that way too, apparently. I need Javi’s dick on-demand.

  Once I’m seated, Javi leans in, “You okay, Diva?” he asks and bites gently on my ear lobe.

  “Just great,” I say loudly and then under my breath, “After this fucking movie, I’m going to climb you like a tree and fuck the living daylights out of you.”

  His chuckle is soft but sexy. “I look forward to it.”

  Touch-less O

  Don’t ask me what the movie was about because all I was thinking about was Javier’s p in my v. We were able to control ourselves slightly during the movie but every once in a while he would lean over and say something super sexy or dirty like, “I want you on top first,” or “Let’s get tacos later.” He’s going to get it so hard.

  Because we decided to not say anything to Mike yet, I get out at my apartment and Javier gets a ride home. The minute I get inside my apartment my phone dings with a text.

  Javi: I’m getting right on my bike and coming straight to you.

  Lia: Yes, you fucking are. Coming all over me.

  Javi: You are my dirty Diva.

  Lia: Not yet, come dirty me up.

  Javi: See you in 5.

  I laugh because it’s about a 15-minute drive from his place to mine. Hmm, I have 15 minutes, what shall I do with that time?

  The wrong thing. I could have just sat down, watched TV, and waited, but no instead I do the wrong thing. I decide to take a quick shower. I use Paul’s cool breeze, or some shit, body wash instead of my regular plain soap. Why I did this I have no idea. I have sensitive skin and I very rarely deviate from my soap routine. For some reason, I was thinking about how great Paul smelled and wanted to change it up. This was a bad idea. I am burning everywhere. Especially in my most delicate parts. Everywhere.

  I try to alleviate the situation by using some calming lotion and it works well on my now bright red skin. My delicates, on the other hand, are not having it. They are angry and I am so, so sorry. I’m
in my sexy robe fanning my bare crotch with a magazine when the door buzzes.

  “Fucking Peter Frampton on a frog.” I waddle to the door and buzz Javi in. While I wait for him to come up, I take out an ice pack, wrap it in a towel and sit on it on the couch. Maybe he won’t notice yet and I can fake it until the swelling goes down. I hate myself. I have cock blocked myself. My self is a cock blocking she-witch.

  Javi sees me and I must not be fooling anyone because his look turns from a sexy smile to a look of worry. “Diva, you ok?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I say airily.

  “Your skin is all red and you look like you’re sitting on a bed of nails.” Damn, he’s observant.

  “Well, I am flushed at the thought of sex with you and I can’t sit still because I want to jump you so badly.” This could have been convincing if my voice hadn’t gone up slightly at the end making it into a question.

  He brushes my hair back and behind my ears, then leans in to kiss the side of my mouth. Have I mentioned how much I love that move? He rests his hand behind my neck and smiles at me. “I want you too. Tell me what happened.”

  I sigh. “I love slash hate how well you know me.” I rest my head in the crook of his neck and inhale him. “I took a shower and used Paul’s soap and now my downtown area is super irritated with me and everything. When I walk, I waddle like a penguin and I’m sitting on a giant ice pack. I think I need to take a Benadryl and call it a night and I hate myself.”

  “You’re not allowed to hate yourself and I’m sorry you are uncomfortable. I wish it was me that made it hard for you to walk but next time, okay?” He pulls me into him and we sit back on the couch.

  “I hate myself because I cock blocked myself.”

  “I see your point but no hating my favorite person.”

  “I’m your favorite person?”

  “No one else comes close.”

  “Aww, you’re sweet, you know that?”