by Mia Ford
“I can’t give it any thought till I fully understand what your intentions are.” Celia said, in a whisper. She too was now conscious of her grandfather overhearing their conversation. He was lightly snoring in the wheelchair now as they walked, but she couldn’t be too careful.
“Well, my intentions are to have you by my side. Spend time with you, much like we are doing now, except that of course…I would want more.” Conrad said and she interrupted him.
“I understand, but what I don’t get is why you’re asking me. I’m sure you have the money and the capacity to go to a different city, live elsewhere…if you’re this lonely, and if you need company.” Celia said, her brows still crossed. She was calming down now. It was nice being able to have a proper conversation with someone without being threatened or shooed away. Conrad was definitely much better behaved than his brother.
Conrad gave a short laugh, and he looked at Celia again, shrugging his shoulders.
“I have no other choice but to be here. If I leave the ranch now, my brother will take everything. He will work behind my back and make sure I don’t get what is rightfully mine. I can’t just leave all this behind. He hates me. He’s always detested me because my parents loved me more.” Conrad explained.
Celia licked her lips and looked ahead again. She didn’t know what to think. She knew what Conrad wanted from her, but what was it worth to her? Why would she do this? Wouldn’t she have to like him first? Be attracted to him if she was going to get into an arranged relationship with him?
He had noticed her thinking and he suddenly placed a hand on her waist. Celia looked up at him sharply, but she didn’t draw herself away.
“Look, Celia.” He said, ignoring the surprise in her eyes. He was comfortable touching her, and she forced herself to feel comfortable in it as well. If she was thinking about giving this relationship a shot, she had to try and coach herself to like him. What did she have to lose?
“I can take care of you, for as long as you want to stay here. I will take care of Jack, and I want to care for you too.” He continued, and she blinked at him.
“You mean, you want to pay me for my services?” She said sharply, and now tugged herself away from him so that his hands dropped to his sides. What was wrong with these two brothers? She thought, biting down on her lip, why did they both have the completely wrong impression of her?
“No, not like that. Not pay you. Just take care of your cost of living here, for as long as you need. Maybe you can start saving some money for later, if you want to go back to New York. And if you don’t want to go back, you can stay here for as long as you like.” Conrad reached for Celia’s hand and held it tightly in his. He squeezed it, looking kindly into her eyes. She stared back at him, her nose twitching with confusion.
“I’ll have to think about it.” She said, drawing her hand away sharply.
Conrad smiled at her and nodded his head.
“Of course. And in answer to your question about why I chose you, and not someone else…well, isn’t that easy to see? You’re beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I think I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. There’s no use in denying that.” He went on, and Celia felt her cheeks flush. She looked away from him, suppressing a smile as best she could.
“I can see you’re glad to hear that. You should be, because that is the truth.” Conrad continued and Celia pushed the wheelchair harder.
“Thank you for the compliment, Conrad. But I don’t want to make a decision in a hurry. It’s not something that comes to me naturally.” Celia replied, keeping her eyes on the road. They had made a turn in the direction of the house again. She wanted to get started on dinner. Wilder hadn’t asked her to, but she wanted to cook her family’s recipe of spicy sausage casserole for her grandfather.
“Of course, I didn’t think it did come to you naturally. I just wanted us both to benefit out of this. I don’t see any reason why not. Neither of us will have anything to lose.” He said hurriedly as they walked along. Celia pursed her lips and drew in a deep breath. He was right, she had nothing to lose. Especially now when Wilder had made it very clear to her that she needed to stay away from him.
When they reached the house, Wilder was standing on the porch with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs set apart.
Celia could see the fury in his eyes, just from the way he was glaring at them. Her grandfather had begun stirring in the wheelchair, slowly waking up from the deep peaceful sleep he just had.
“Where have you been?” Wilder snarled when they came into earshot. Celia’s muscles grew tight, her body was reacting to his presence again. More than afraid, she wanted to hate him. And Wilder was making it very easy for her to do so.
“We just took old Jack for a walk there, where have you been brother?” Conrad asked cheerily, ignoring Wilder’s obvious rage.
“That is what Celia was doing. What were you doing Conrad? When you should have been tending to the pigs? The horses needed to be groomed too. You’ve been missing since the morning. It’s past lunch now.” Wilder took a few steps down towards them, his arms still crossed, his chest heaving. He hadn’t looked at Celia once.
“Actually, I asked him to join us.” She said, and the two brothers turned to her. Conrad had a smile on his face, while Wilder’s nostrils were flared. He was looking at her with disgust, like she had just said something filthy.
“Why? He needs to be helping me with the running of the ranch.” Wilder said, taking a few steps in her direction. Celia felt the instant appearance of goosebumps on her arms, the hair at the back of her neck stood up. The moment Wilder had looked at her directly, she felt like her knees would buckle. She clutched the handle bars of her grandfather’s wheelchair tightly for support.
“I didn’t know my way around, so I asked Conrad to show me. One day won’t make much of a difference, will it?” Celia looked past Wilder’s shoulder at Conrad who looked back at her with a pleased expression on his face. She raised her chin up at Wilder, who was glaring at her still.
“You had Jack with you. Jack knows these parts better than Conrad. My brother rarely leaves his room unless he wants something.” Wilder spat the words out, and without waiting for Celia to reply he whipped around at Conrad.
“You need to start pulling your weight around here Conrad, this is the last time I’m telling you.” Wilder said, walking up to his brother’s face now.
Celia saw her grandfather move in his wheelchair. She could see that he was beginning to grow uncomfortable. He didn’t want to see the boys fighting.
“I’m going to cook us some sausage casserole for dinner. You’re relieved of your cooking duties for tonight, Wilder.” Celia said, turning up the cheer in her voice. Wilder and Conrad both looked at her and she forced a smile on her face.
“Sausage casserole?” It was her grandfather who spoke.
“Yeah, the one grandma taught mama, remember? I’ll make it just the way you like it grandpa.” Celia bent forward to smile at her grandfather, who tickled her chin and she giggled.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if anybody needs me.” She said as she climbed up the porch steps, leaving all the men behind.
“I can’t wait for dinner, Celia.” She heard Conrad say and she turned to smile at him. Wilder grunted and walked away, shoving his brother in the shoulder as he did it. After Wilder had walked away from them, Conrad raised his eyebrows at her and shook his head. She was still standing on the porch, looking at Wilder’s brooding figure disappear into the distance. He hadn’t once turned to look at any of them.
“What did I tell you? If he could he would see me drown in a puddle.” Conrad said and smacked his lips. Celia turned and walked back into the house. She needed to think. She needed to seriously think about everything that was happening.
While walking to the kitchen she tried to lay out the points of detail. She was attracted to Wilder, but he didn’t want her. He wanted to be left alone. The person who wanted her, who wanted her madly;
was Conrad. In fact, Wilder might even be dangerous, while Conrad could be good for her. Wasn’t it a better decision to be with the person who wants you? Instead of yearning for the man who doesn’t even care that you exist?
Celia shook her head as she walked into the kitchen, grabbing Wilder’s apron off the hook and tying it around her waist. Tonight, she was just going to concentrate on cooking a hearty meal for her grandfather, the rest could wait till the next day.
By the time Celia had finished cooking dinner it was dark outside again. Her grandfather had joined her in the kitchen and she was having a great time chatting with him. Celia had nearly forgotten all her troubles with the two brothers, laughing and joking with her beloved grandpa. When she laid out the plates on the dining table, and had placed the casserole in the center; she left her grandfather in the room and went in search of the two Moore brothers.
They had to be outside, she thought, and wiping her hands on the apron Celia walked to the back of the house towards the porch. But she stopped in her tracks when she heard raised voices. They were fighting again. It was Wilder’s enraged voice that had made her stop in her tracks and she pressed her back to the wall and stood to listen.
“Watch your step, little brother.” She could sense that Wilder was speaking through gritted teeth.
“You’re just jealous because you know that Celia will accept my offer.” Conrad’s light hearted voice came through. This time too it was Wilder who was the more furious one, while Conrad was more calm and relaxed. Surprisingly, he wasn’t very afraid of his brother.
“She will not, and if she does then you’re doomed.” Wilder spoke, still angry, still yelling but trying to keep his voice low at the same time. Conrad gave out a shrill laugh.
“What is even your problem, Wilder? It’s not like you can have her.” Conrad said, sending a thrill down Celia’s spine. It was still their little secret. The truth was that Wilder did have her, he had her virginity, he was the only man she had given in to. She wanted to hear what he had to say, wanted to hear it in his voice. Wilder was silent for a few moments, while Celia tried to suppress a smile.
“What makes you think I even want her?” He spat out, wiping the smile off Celia’s face. She felt her lips twitch, she had heard the hatred in Wilder’s voice. He really didn’t care. He regretted what had happened that night. And he wasn’t about to confess to his brother.
“Because nobody else wants you. Because your wife left you and you have nothing to look forward to in your life.” Conrad said, still with the laugh in his voice. His words had stung Celia as well. They were harsh words, words nobody deserved to hear. But perhaps Wilder deserved it. Perhaps he was the kind of man who deserved to have his brother say this to him.
“Don’t talk about Katherine. You have no right to talk about Katherine.” Wilder’s voice was even more enraged now. Celia heard a light thud, Wilder had pushed Conrad to the wall. But Conrad only laughed. He enjoyed inciting violence in his brother, he enjoyed the reaction. Celia’s breath was caught in her throat. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation. She shouldn’t have been listening to any of this.
“I have as much right to talk about Katherine as you do.” Conrad said when he stopped laughing.
“Shut up. Stop talking about her.” Wilder was yelling.
“You made Katherine so unhappy that she had no other choice. She was so lonely and angry with you that…” Conrad continued, ignoring his brother’s rage.
“You were eighteen. You were a child. She had no right. You didn’t know what you were doing, but she did.” Wilder was yelling again, but Celia could tell that he wasn’t yelling at his brother. He was yelling at the world, at himself.
“I was old enough to know that she wanted me. And you made that happen. You pushed her towards me.” Conrad continued, and Celia gasped. She covered her mouth with her hand. Wilder’s wife had slept with his brother. That was why she left. That was why Wilder was so bitter.
“That’s enough, Conrad.” Wilder said, he was breathing hard but his voice had dropped.
“Are you ashamed, big brother? That your beautiful new bride wanted your eighteen year old brother more than she wanted you?” Conrad continued, laughing a little.
Celia was at the verge of tears. She couldn’t stand the things that Conrad was saying. She couldn’t imagine the pain that Wilder was in.
“I said, that’s enough.” Wilder growled, but Conrad only laughed.
“You’ll never get over it. And you’ll never have Celia. Because she doesn’t want you.” Conrad added.
“And I don’t want her!” Wilder yelled, his voice thick with emotion and anger. Celia wanted to scream too, but she couldn’t.
“Good. Because it’s not happening.” She heard Conrad say and then the shuffle of his feet. He was climbing down the porch and walking away from Wilder. He had left his older brother to stand and brood by himself.
Celia allowed a few minutes to pass. She could sense that Wilder was still out there. He was breathing loudly, harshly; like he was trying to force himself to calm down. Like he was trying to forget the things that Conrad had just said to him. Then she snuck out from her position behind the wall and opened the porch door.
“Wilder?” She called out to him in a soft voice.
She could see him standing at the edge of the porch, looking out at the ranch. He was leaning slumped against a wooden arch, completely unaware of Celia’s presence there. When he heard her voice he whipped around to find her. Even in the dark dusky light she could see that his eyes were bloodshot and red, he hardly had any control over his breathing.
“What do you want, Celia?” He hurled the words at her.
“I just wanted to speak with you for a bit. I just wanted to see how you were doing.” She said kindly, hoping that he would see that she was there in peace. She didn’t want to fight with him. She had felt just as hurt by Conrad’s words as he probably was. She could physically feel his pain.
Wilder’s sandy blonde hair fell thickly over his eyes, he wasn’t wearing his hat. His blue eyes looked small and dark. He was breathing heavily, with his lips parted.
“No, Celia, what do you really want?” He repeated himself. She was confused, her brows were furrowed. What was he asking her? She took a few steps towards him, and he straightened himself, watching her every move.
“You know what I want. You felt it.” She said softly, walking up close to him now. She could see that his gaze had dropped to her breasts. Was he as aroused as she was? Did he feel the same way around her as she did when he was near? Were there goosebumps on his flesh too? She wished he knew the effect he had on her, even with just his voice.
Wilder remained quiet, and Celia extended her hand, gently daring to touch his cheek. His skin was ruddy, tanned and rough. He hadn’t shaved still, and his emerging beard was rough but still quite short. She stroked it delicately, enjoying the tingling feeling of its coarseness on her skin. She wanted his mouth on hers. She wanted to thrust her tongue into his mouth. She wanted that beard to chafe her skin as he licked her neck.
“Wilder…” She breathed his name. He didn’t move, he was standing very still, looking at her face, at her body.
She placed another hand on his chest, slipping in a finger through the gap in his shirt so that she could feel the solid muscles on his chest. Celia felt herself growing wet immediately. She wanted him again. She wanted to feel him inside her. He was the most delicious man she had ever met.
“I do want you. Conrad doesn’t know what I want.” She dared to say, and watched as his eyes grew wild. He looked more angry than before, but only licked his lips, studying the curves of her jaw, her lips. She could see he wanted her, he was growing in his pants. She dropped her gaze to watch it grow. She liked the power she had on him, as much as he tried to resist her, he couldn’t. His body wouldn’t let him.
She turned her face to him and smiled.
“Say you want me too.” She whispered. He hadn’t said a word yet, but
focused his attention on her cleavage. Celia dropped her hand from his chest to the bulge in his pants and he grabbed her by the wrist. That same strength had returned to his arm, and Celia nearly gasped.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Wilder hissed, bringing his face close to her face.
“I know you want me, Wilder.” Celia cried, her voice tearing as she squirmed under his fiery gaze.
“You are making plans with my brother. You’re going to be Conrad’s woman, what are you doing touching me?” Wilder hissed again. Celia tried jerking her hand out of his grip but he held her tightly.
“That isn’t true, I haven’t told him anything. He says he wants me, but I want you.” She tried explaining, but Wilder was holding her close to him, tightening his grip on her hand.
“No, you listen to me Celia. I won’t allow you to play us. I’m not as foolish as Conrad. You can have each other, you both deserve it. Just leave me alone. You hear?” He let go of her hand suddenly, and the force of it nearly threw Celia off her balance. She rocked back gently and then Conrad pushed past her, back into the house.
She was left out in the porch, alone again in the dark, for a second time by him. She couldn’t understand it. Why was he treating her like this? What did he want from her? Why was he so afraid of admitting that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him?
Footsteps up ahead distracted her, and Celia drew in quick breaths. It was Conrad coming up to the porch again, and she ran her fingers through her strawberry blonde curls in impatience. At least he was a friendly face.
“There you are, my beautiful girl.” Conrad climbed up to the porch two steps at a time. Before she had the chance to say anything he had pulled her in close to himself and was kissing her. Celia’s face froze as their lips pressed together. She wasn’t kissing him back but Conrad didn’t seem to notice. He kissed her, and she noticed that he had cold lips, but she didn’t struggle in his arms.