by Mia Ford
It was another one of those nights where I had nobody on that cold side of the bed. It was made even worse because the heat had gone out in the building. I had no idea where Tina was, but I had a feeling that she wasn’t lacking male companionship.
I woke up several times shivering like mad and going to the closet to grab yet another blanket. By the time that the sun had risen, I had five blankets on top of me and feeling like a bear that was ready to hibernate for the winter.
I got up, running in a mad dash for the shower to take that chill out of my bones. The hot water only lasted for about 20 minutes, but without Tina being in the apartment with me, I was able to squeeze every little bit out of it.
As I threw my clothes on the bed, I thought about being that same chaste young woman, but I didn’t want him to have that kind of power over me. I decided on a peasant blouse and a snug black leather skirt with that zipper down the back. I wore something special underneath, just on the off chance that I could catch his wandering eye. I didn’t want to push the envelope, but I found it necessary to entice him without giving away the milk for free.
The purple leather jacket really was the only thing in my closet that was made just for me. Everything else had to be altered in some way. I’d made my own clothes because I liked it, but it was also out of necessity. There was one place that catered to women of my considerable size, but I didn’t feel right about stepping into those doors.
I went back into the office and this time it was nothing but business. He wasn’t putting me in a difficult position by making me feel uncomfortable in the very least. To be honest, I was feeling a little neglected. I might have done something that I couldn’t take back.
“I hope you know that you have real talent. I’m not just saying that and I mean every word from the bottom of my heart. I’m thinking about bringing on somebody full time and you might be the one that can fill the position. We’ll have to come to terms, but I don’t see that being difficult under the circumstances. I can be very accommodating, but you haven’t even expressed interest in staying here. Is this something that you would be ready to take on? I know that some freelancers like their independence and I can perfectly understand that. It’s just that I don’t think that I’ve ever had anybody working with me like a well-oiled machine. I’m reluctant to give that up. The one sticking point is if the client is going to like what we came up with.” He wasn’t trying to look down my blouse and I found that bending over didn’t make him that drooling dog.
“I sent you my designs because I wanted your honest opinion. I was not fishing for a job, but now that you have broached the topic, I might be convinced. I do like working with you, August. I don’t think that I told you that you were my inspiration for getting into this profession. Everybody has their heroes and the one that shapes them into who they are today. You were that for me.” I didn’t want to give him a swelled head to go with the one that was never going to take no for an answer.
The only way that I was going to dissuade that part of him was to dump a glass of chilled water into his lap. It was a known fact that shrinkage was something that a man deals with when they go swimming. I could’ve done that, but I took it as a compliment.
“I’ll be happy to draw up some papers, but not until after we meet with the client.” August was hedging his bets and hoping that I was the golden ticket. I wasn’t sure how he could put that much faith in me. I wanted him to be proud and for some reason, his admiration of my work was something that I coveted.
“I understand. I think that we have hit this one out of the park, but we really won’t know until we hear it from the client. I just want to go on the record to say that I appreciate that you have refrained from putting the moves on me. I think that it was for the best and that is not a road that I’m willing to travel. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I wanted you to know what you were getting yourself into,” My lie had worked way too well and his interest in me had waned a little bit too much.
“I have to say that I was a little taken back. I don’t usually have any problems getting a girl to sleep with me. Rejection is for other guys and maybe I did need a cold dose of reality. I can’t always assume that every woman wants to sleep with me. That makes me sound a little egocentric. You were the first that ever said no. It sometimes comes down to timing. You did say that you were interested, but you just got out of a long-term relationship. I’m not sure that I believe you and it really doesn’t matter. I find our working relationship not worth losing.” August had a way with words.
At the end of the day, we left to prepare separately for the meeting with the client in the morning. I came to him for that experience that I was lacking. Sending those blueprints was my way of self-destructing. I really didn’t expect him to answer back, let alone invite me to work alongside him. I thought that his rejection would be the final straw to make me forsake my dream from coming true. It had turned out better than expected and the way that he looked over my curves had me wishing that I didn’t throw cold water on his parade.
“I’m going to go home, put on some soft jazz and have a bubble bath. I would offer for you to come join me, but I think that we have already beaten that horse to death. I’m sure that you have your own ritual before a big meeting.” I was trying to open that window, but I was not willing to open up the door wide enough for him to think that he had a chance.
“Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson and you won’t have to worry about me putting the moves on you ever again. I look back at all those times that I treated women with disrespect and I want to call each and every one of them and tell them how sorry I am. Tonight is the first night that I’m going to go home and sleep alone. I don’t know what I was so afraid of and maybe the idea of growing old alone makes me reach out for any kind of cold comfort in the middle of the night.” I didn’t know that he had those kinds of insecurities. I’d always taken him for somebody that was strong and confident not having any idea that he was suffering some of the same things that I did.
“There’s no reason for you to be alone. Change your ways and let the women in your life see the chink in your armor. I’m going to tell you a secret about women. We do want strength, but we also want our man to have the ability to cry. We want them to show their softer side. Try being honest and you’ll be surprised by the results.” I had no idea why I was telling him any of this, except to say that I was feeling sorry for him.
“It’s a novel idea, Amanda and I might just take your unsolicited advice like I did with your designs. Look at how good that turned out. I’m usually an army of one, but having you to back me up has allowed me to live a little. Now that you mention it, there is something that I should do while it’s still fresh in my mind.” He moved the hair away from my eyes. I thought for sure that he was going to kiss me. He did, but it was more of a peck on the cheek. He didn’t need to know that I almost moved to intercept him with my mouth.
“The one thing that you need to know about women is that they don’t like playing games. Say it like it is, tell them what you really want and let them decide if what you are offering is good enough. Women want a man that is going to be there for them. It’s that cold spot on the bed that draws a woman to the bar at odd hours of the night. They find that unsuspecting victim and they think that they have to settle.” I was giving him way too much insight into the female mind, but I felt that he could benefit from my lessons.
“It is nice to hear the other side for a change. A man’s point of view only gets me so far. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Amanda and I really don’t know how to thank you. Let’s get some sleep and we’ll meet in the office at 7:00 AM to go over the details of those designs. Lionel is not going to know what hit him. I just hope that he’s open to new ideas. He already told me what he wants and it’s the same thing every time. If he wasn’t paying an exorbitant amount of cash, I wouldn’t even consider debasing myself like that.” He walked towards his Lexus, a silver extension of his anatomy and it gave me the impression that
he was making up for some kind of shortcoming.
I knew that it wasn’t what most women would think it was. He was not lacking in that department. I had no firsthand knowledge other than the way that he put it out there for everyone to see. That was not a rolled up pair of socks. That was the real thing and I had pushed him away because he was too forceful in his approach.
I felt like kicking myself. I wanted to believe that leopards could change their spots, but my personal experience told me otherwise. Men would say that they wanted to change, but they would always fall back on old habits. I didn’t want to nag him into being something that he wasn’t. It was better that we cut things off before it got any messier.
I was up all night going over those designs and putting the finishing touches on them. I tried to call him excited and wanting to share it with him, but the only thing that I got in response was his voice message service. I told him that it was no big deal and that I would see him in the morning. I was kinda hoping that he would reach out even if I was snuggled tight into my bed.
I finally got to sleep around 4:00 AM and that left me with 3 hours to dream about the possibilities. I woke up thinking that he was there with me. I lifted the sheet off of my naked body half expecting to see his smiling face nestled between my thighs, but there was nobody there. It felt so real that I could almost reach out and touch him.
I kept drifting in and out of that fantasy. I finally gave up around 5:30 AM. I had a sheen of sweat glistening on my skin. I looked at myself in the mirror and knew deep down that what I did was the right thing for everybody concerned. Office romances didn’t work and I couldn’t in good conscience drive a wedge between us because we couldn’t keep it in our pants.
I was pretty much a zombie in desperate need of caffeine which I found in his office waiting for me. The steam from the cup had me grabbing it and bringing it up to my lips without thinking about the scalding contents. I managed to avoid burning myself.
“I’m glad to see you. I don’t know about you, but I had a very productive evening. I want to show you what I came up with. It would not surprise me in the very least that you came up with your own additions. Let’s see if we are truly on the same wavelength. It could’ve been just one of those things and this way we can prove to one another that we can work together. It doesn’t have to be anything physical, no matter how much a certain party wants there to be something like that. There I go again making assumptions. I really do have a one-track mind.” August had reined himself in, but I did feel that there was more to what he had to say.
“I’ll show you mine…if you show me yours.” I was playing a dangerous game with that comment, but he took it in stride. He motioned for me to go first and I was tempted to start undressing to see that shocked look on his face, but I didn’t take it that far.
I opened up my portfolio and I put them alongside his and amazingly, they matched up almost perfectly. It was as if we were thinking the same thoughts. I wanted to believe that we could see each other out of the office, but I didn’t trust him to keep things friendly.
“I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it for myself. It’s as if we were both standing in front of each other, as we made these designs. I thought that you would make the perfect addition to my little family, but I didn’t think that we would be this much in sync. I was only playing last night when I said that Lionel was not going to know what hit him. I didn’t know how truthful that statement was until I saw this.” He gathered all of it up and we left there together about to go to war. There was no way to know how this was going to end.
Lionel was already in the conference room waiting for us to enter to give him what he wanted. He probably didn’t understand why he had to come in to personally oversee the designs. It probably made him nervous and leaving him to wait was a good way to keep him on edge.
“Lionel, it’s good to see you again and I do hope that everything has been well. I want you to meet my soon to be partner, Amanda Cochran. I know your feelings about women in general. I want to assure you that Amanda has some interesting ideas. There’s no reason to squirm. Take a look at what we have for you. If we can’t change your mind, then we will go back to the old favorite.” August was an artist just like me, but it didn’t matter how much he wanted this to happen. We thought that we had come up with something that he would be a damn fool to resist. The only way that we were going to know for sure was to see his reaction up close and personal.
“You’ve taken a real risk by bringing me something that I have no interest in seeing. I’m this close to awarding you the contract for three more buildings. I hope for your sake that you know what you’re doing, August. I’ve been married five times and you’d think after the third that I would know better than to stick my head in the Lions’ den again. The only thing that a woman is good for is to…” August put his hand up to stop Lionel from saying something that was going to make me want to punch him square in the face.
“I would ask respectively that you don’t finish that statement. Just take a look and see if this is something that makes you want to change your mind. I want the contract for the next three buildings, but I still feel that we can do better than what was acceptable back in the day. Judge it on the design itself and not who came up with it.” August was trying to wean him into it, but Lionel was fighting him every step of the way.
The worst thing of all was the silence. The clock was ticking and the tension that was in the air was making both I and August anxious. They say that no news is good news, but in this case, that wasn’t going to cut it.
After ten long minutes, Lionel stood up and kicked his chair back. He stood there staring at these designs and I half expected him to tear it up in front of our faces.
“How many years have we been working together, August?” His tone was indicative of somebody that was not happy.
“It has to be over 10 years. You know that I would never ask you to even consider this unless I thought it was a good idea. You of all people know that being stuck in the old ways is never going to make that statement anymore. You said emphatically that you wanted something that was going to showcase your company in the best possible light. You wanted a conversation starter and I think that we have done that.” August was playing the consummate salesman while at the same time appealing to his ego.
“I’m not foolish or senile. I know that eventually, I’m going to have to stand out of the way for the younger generation to take over. My son has been trying to convince me that there is a different way. I’ve been reluctant to listen to him, but maybe he does make some sense. I’m not sure how to say this… I like it. In fact, I think that if you could come up with various versions of the same theme that would give my company the facelift that I’m looking for.” Lionel had admitted that he was wrong to doubt August and his ability to see things from a different perspective.
“I’m kind of stunned. I thought for sure that you were going to reject it out of hand. I was going to try to fight you, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to have to. Are there any changes that you want to make, or are you finally going to give me freedom to do what I do best?” I wasn’t sure that August should have shined a light on Lionel’s ability to make those changes. It’s said that the client is always right and this was the motto that August lived by.
“I’m not sure. I’m going to have to give that some thought, but offhand I don’t see anything. Let me have until the end of the week and I’ll decide one way or the other. I think that we are on the same page. I apologize for my sexist attitude.” Lionel picked up his briefcase and took one last look at the plans. I saw the makings of a smile on his face.
“Don’t take too long. You want to break ground as soon as possible. I can have the construction crew at the site within 24 hours. All I need from you is the go ahead and for you to come up with the budget. Be generous, especially if you want this done posthaste with no delays. You know as well as I do that greasing the wheels takes money.” August went to him and gav
e him a warm handshake and a tap on the shoulder.
“There’s no reason why they can’t get started on the foundation. Get them started immediately. I want some preliminary drawings of the other three buildings by the time that I come back at the end of the week. I know that’s a little short notice, but I can make it worth your while with a sizable bonus for the both of you. They have to remain similar but with a unique signature all of its own. I’ll let the both of you iron out the details. It’s going to mean working long hours, but the payoff is going to be quite substantial.” He turned and went over with a very expensive looking pen gleaming in gold in his hand. He scribbled something down and then he passed it to August who deemed it necessary not to look at it, as a sign of respect, until Lionel left the office.
I thought that August showed remarkable restraint, but that all ended when the elevator had disappeared for over 30 seconds.
He screamed and I thought for sure that I was going to faint from his unexpected outburst.
“I think that we have a reason to celebrate. I have a bottle for such an occasion that I want you to share with me.” His face was lit up like the 4th of July. He hadn’t even looked at the paper that Lionel had scribbled down his offer on.
He opened up the paper in front of me and those were the kind of zeroes that could send my grandchildren to the best private schools money could buy. I didn’t even have one child and I was already thinking about the future like I was going to be part of this.
“Three more buildings from the same person is quite the coup. He must really think that you are able to get into his head. You make it look simple, but we both know that it’s not. It took me almost 5 hours just to figure out what he might find acceptable. I took those basic blueprints and I grafted something that was unique to him. Mind you, I didn’t do it alone and we play off of each other well.” I jumped back, as the cork to the champagne bottle that he had found went flying across the room.