by Angi Morgan
“No.”
“Your mother would be so embarrassed. I’m embarrassed.”
“Well, don’t be.” He shrugged out of the button-up he’d been given to wear to dinner. “As you’re constantly reminding me, we’re not married anymore.”
“Get out. Go sleep in your own room. I’m perfectly safe here.”
“We need to talk, Kathleen.”
“Right. You mean, you have instructions to give and I need to listen.”
“I know you’re upset.”
“You bet your patootie, I’m upset. The Burkes have been nothing but gracious to us and you stole Nick’s jeans.”
“You shot a man.”
“Oh.” She swiped a pillow off the bed and sat in the desk chair, wrapping her arms around the softness and hugging herself. Visibly deflated and dejected, her shoulders dropped. The fire left her eyes and yet they sparkled as they filled with tears. “What’s going to happen?”
“Is that what you’re really worried about?”
He waited. If there was one thing he’d learned after a year of therapy, it was that whoever was asking the questions waited until they were answered. You couldn’t rush the conversation.
“No.”
“It couldn’t be avoided.”
“I still killed a man,” she whispered.
He hooked her hair over her ear to see her face more clearly. “Does it scare you more that you shot a man or that you don’t regret it?”
“I regret it! I do.” Her head jerked up, but her face wasn’t full of indignation, it was full of questions.
“There’s probably truth in that and there should be. What you have to hold on to and remember is that he would have killed me. And he would definitely have killed you.” He gently moved the pillow to smooth her shirt over her belly. “Snuffing out two heartbeats with one shot if he’d had the opportunity.”
“I know all that.” She tapped her temple. “But how do you live with it every day? You never talked about this part of your job.”
“I guess I never did. If I’d ever had to shoot someone, maybe I would have. I don’t know.”
“Wait. You never—before that night—?”
“Nope. And I don’t remember shooting Serna’s brother. The first guys that I can remember happened this morning. And you’re right. There’s a touch of regret for the loss of life, but I’m right. We didn’t have a choice. They would have killed us or taken us to Serna, who would have done worse.”
There were worse things than dying. Watching someone you love suffer or, worse still, be tortured. Surely that was worse than losing your life? He never wanted to find out.
“Thing is, babe...” He took a knee next to the chair so he could see her downcast eyes. “I wouldn’t hesitate to protect you again. Not a second. Let another bastard try.”
She tossed the pillow to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt the hot tears on his skin. Man, she smelled good. Holding her felt good. Didn’t matter why he was holding her. She belonged in his arms. He let her cry and when she was exhausted and the hiccups began, he lifted her, keeping her tucked close, and took her to bed.
As much as he ached for her, she was no longer his, and holding her would have to do. But they’d traveled through an impasse of his making. Maybe the shrink was right. Maybe they could talk through that night and what happened after. It wasn’t something he looked forward to, but maybe, just maybe, they’d taken the first step on the journey back to each other.
Chapter Eleven
They were up from a second nap, rested and hungry again. The storm was letting up and it was pitch-black outside. As soon as Cord could, they’d snatch a set of keys from the rack and borrow a car. When they reached Kent, he’d “borrow” another one. His only plan at the moment was to keep them moving so Serna couldn’t find them.
“I thought we were getting dressed for a midnight snack? Why are you packing?” Kate asked.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang around.” He hedged, since he hadn’t told Kate her family wouldn’t be at the airport. The subject would come up soon enough and the thought of flying tomorrow seemed to ease the tension for Kate. If Serna knew no one could fly in, it also meant that they couldn’t use any airstrips to escape. So he’d be watching the roads even closer.
“Sorry, but we’re here for a while. The weather front is not cooperating with your timetable, Cord. A front in Colorado is headed this way with possibly additional fronts pushing into the area from the west late tomorrow. Dad said they couldn’t fly until after the snow. It’s okay to wait here and be safe.”
Not okay with him. As for being safe? Well, the Ranger task force were certain Serna had an inside man at most, if not all, the ranches in this area. It was one explanation why they’d been using the mountains so openly. And successfully. No matter how much hospitality the Burkes showed them, he didn’t trust Nick.
He had to obtain the right vehicle and drive her somewhere safe. As soon as he figured out where that could be. He’d confirmed a time to call David. If he didn’t, it meant they were in trouble. Kate’s father was the only person he trusted beside himself to keep her safe. The man didn’t need much explanation or convincing. He’d been begging her to get out of Texas for weeks.
If anything went wrong, Cord was solely responsible.
Her father agreed that Cord should get her out as soon as physically possible. They couldn’t wait patiently for police protection, at the ranch or at a secret location. There was no secret location. Not where Serna was concerned. And they couldn’t hang around the airport waiting on the chance the weather would clear before Serna found them to take his revenge.
“The longer you stay here, the more danger you’re in, Kate.”
She walked from the bath where she’d been dressing, holding a large Texas Tech sweatshirt—Burke’s. “Why do you hate Nick?”
“I don’t hate Burke.” He intensely disliked the man.
“You don’t like him,” she clarified.
“He doesn’t really care for me, either.”
“You think he’s attracted to me? Still?” She laughed, pointing to the swell in her stomach, very apparent again under the thermal shirt.
“Darn certain he is.” He sounded just like the jealous husband. Damn. He was the jealous ex-husband.
If Kate had attended Tech in Lubbock instead of UT in Austin, their paths would never have crossed. They’d never have met and he wouldn’t have taken this assignment to stay in the area. She’d be the younger Mrs. Burke by now. She wouldn’t be in danger. And she wouldn’t look at him with those disappointed sighs gracing her luscious lips.
“You shouldn’t dislike him because we were good friends growing up.”
“That’s not the reason. Let’s drop it.” The man’s still in love with you, Kate. Can’t you tell? Tell her. Say it out loud. Tell her how you’ve missed her, how your arms ache to hold her every night.
“Right. Nothing’s changed,” she said.
No, nothing about his feelings had changed. He pulled on his boots, wishing he’d had something with thicker, sturdier soles for climbing earlier in the canyon.
“What’s going to happen to us here?” she asked with her fingers paused on the doorknob.
“Put on your boots.”
“Really? I wanted to keep my toes near the fire and get some more hot chocolate and biscuits.”
“We need to be ready to move. I don’t trust—”
“Anyone.”
“Now’s not the time to explain.”
In spite of the disgust he heard in her voice, she grabbed her shoes and sat in the chair to tie them. He’d protect his family no matter what she thought about his trust issues.
“Set the phones on the table, will you?”
“We can’t take them?” she asked, standing near the end of the bed, dragging a finger across the rifle barrel currently wrapped in a towel. “Where did you get the backpack?”
“I kept the SD cards.” H
e gestured to the pack. “Mrs. Burke thought it would be easier to carry our stuff. I left the saddlebags with our tack.”
“She didn’t see the machine gun, did she?”
“Nope. Not unless you showed her.”
“Right. Are those boxes of cartridges? Nick gave you—”
He stiffened at the word “gave,” giving himself away.
Realization spread across her face. “Good grief, Cord. You broke into his gun cabinet?”
“He should have better security. Too easy. I used a pocketknife.”
“I cannot believe you’d do such a thing.”
He stopped her from pulling the door open. Then stopped her from talking by slipping his hand over her lips. “You made me promise. I gave my word to protect you and the baby. Do you honestly think we’re safe here?”
She shook her head and he dropped his hand. The fear of what Serna would do to her shook his core. He blocked it from his mind. If he got emotional, he’d lose focus. He needed to focus. Have a plan and a backup plan and a backup plan to that.
“Is this going to end, Cord?”
The words were on the tip of his tongue to tell her everything would be okay. Things would change. They’d be fine. He wanted to lie. He couldn’t. Not to Kate.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to her in a moment of frightened clarity. When she looked up at him, tears pooled in eyes that never deserved to cry but had too often. He bent closer and captured her lips.
Five months, five days without feeling the surge of power he’d always experienced with her kiss. A strengthening power that recharged his entire being. Knowing that she was the only person who’d ever made him feel...anything. The knowledge floored him. Knocked his feet out from under him when he realized he may never feel that again. She kept him from losing control.
No one except Kate had been able to catch him in a free fall. She’d been the only woman he’d wanted since they met.
The natural hunger from her startled him. His brain screamed at him. Go further. Take more. You want her and, more important, you need her. Her body melted into him. Why had he wasted the past several hours on sleep?
Their tongues tangled, desperate for each other. Logically, it wasn’t a good idea, but with Kate in his arms he couldn’t behave logically. He just wasn’t that strong. Only his body was reacting. And right then, the loose jeans he’d borrowed were getting pretty dang tight.
Man, he needed her. He cupped each side of her face and devoured her lips. Every aching, hungry attack was countered with her own. Her hands were on his chest, raising his shirt, skimming along his rib cage. When he hesitated, her mouth sought his. They collided together, twisting closer. The back of his knees hit the edge of the bed.
“I can’t...” She stopped, pushing back. “We can’t go there. This can’t happen. I’m sorry.”
Cord released her as if she were a hot branding iron. He commanded his body to relax. Almost. He shoved the second box of ammo into the pack along with water and food he’d taken when Mrs. Burke wasn’t looking.
“Cord...” Kate wrapped her fingers around his shoulder and he jerked away.
“Don’t. I get it. We’re divorced.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
He stood straight, threw the strap over his shoulder and forced his voice not to shake. “We’re past that.”
You can’t hurt someone who’s already dead inside.
* * *
KATE FOLLOWED CORD from the bedroom, where they’d spent a few peaceful hours. The storm had taken a south turn toward Marfa and was easing up a bit. The brief hail that accompanied it had awoken her from a sound sleep before dinner. One of two she’d had safely wrapped in Cord’s arms.
It brought memories of happier times before the shooting, but not as much as the kiss. Oh man, to be kissed like that every day again. Cord was such a good kisser.
And such a good lover. She missed him so much, but she couldn’t go back. It was impossible not to wonder if she’d ever feel safe without him. Shoot, it was impossible to be with him and wonder if she’d ever feel safe. Now she had another life to think about.
It was so sad to admit they were finished. Maybe if she weren’t pregnant she would give him a second chance. Perhaps. But the baby changed everything. If Serna weren’t the problem, some other gang Cord investigated would be.
Seven years ago, Cord’s life had seemed exciting, adventurous. Now she knew it was just deadly. Being a Ranger was bred into Cord. It was a part of him, just like breathing was to a normal man. She placed her hand on their baby. Right now she needed lots of normal.
She wished with all her heart that they were secure, but as Cord continually reminded her, they weren’t. Her strong Texas Ranger was prepared for an assault. And that’s the reason she’d wanted his promise to protect her himself. He really was the only one she trusted to think of her first.
“Where is everybody?” Cord asked, leading the way to an empty TV room.
“Juliet mentioned they were heading to bed soon after we went to our room. It’s after midnight, and this is a ranch with chores at the break of dawn. Most people are in bed. But speaking of dinner, I’m starved again. Leftovers are in the fridge.”
He’d shut down and wasn’t looking at her. Not ignoring, just not looking.
“Perfect. Leave it wrapped up and bring it with us.”
“If you have some type of master plan, now would be a good time to fill me in on it.”
He whipped her around, cupped her chin to meet his eyes, his jaw clenched tight in Ranger mode. “Trust me.”
Two could play that stubborn game. She knocked his gentle grip away. “I do trust you, Cord. You are absolutely one of the few people I completely trust with my life. But don’t take that as compliance and a reason not to keep me in the loop. We both know how that turned out this morning.”
“I’m sorry, but we’re leaving. Now.” His voice was low and very determined.
“That’s ridiculous. Dad can’t get here until late tomorrow.” She’d spoken to her father, had confirmed with Cord that they’d wait until the storm front cleared Colorado.
“Your dad’s not coming. We’re meeting him somewhere else. I spoke with him, too. He agreed it’s too dangerous to wait.”
Even trusting Cord’s experience, she was not a child. The men in her life didn’t get to arbitrarily make decisions for her. “You should have discussed this with me. I’m not asking why you didn’t, but do you think you could disclose this mysterious location?”
“Dammit, Kate. We need to move. I’ll explain on the road.” He swung the pack over his shoulder, then grabbed all the key rings, sorting them into two hands.
“Are you serious? What are you doing?”
“No keys, no one can follow.”
“These are the good guys, Cord. What if we need their help?”
“Grab the food and let’s get out of here.” Cord threw her jacket and Nick’s sweatshirt at her.
“I need my cell phone.”
“We’re leaving them here. We can’t risk being tracked that way.”
Trust him, he knows what he’s doing. She hurriedly pulled both on, not looking forward to the downpour of rain that was about to soak through all of it. In spite of her indicating he couldn’t order her around, she’d go. She had to. She grabbed the plate wrapped in foil and the extra biscuits from the stove left in a ziplock.
“Can you tell me where we’re going and at least grab a car with a heater?”
The next couple of minutes were a blur. Between the rain and Cord being her human Kevlar, she didn’t see much. She watched the ground where she was running, trusting that he could see the rest of the yard and bunkhouse where the men could be. He dropped all the keys inside a car once he found a Wrangler with four-wheel drive.
They left like thieves without anyone running down the drive after them.
“Before you get all curious again asking a ton of questions, help me watch the road. Will ya?”
He laughed when she acknowledged him with a low growl of her own. The man was so very frustrating. She waited. Not patiently. She cranked the heat up, tapped her wet shoes on the floorboard, removed her jacket and stared at the barely visible wet gravel.
If her behavior annoyed him, he didn’t show it. When she glanced in his direction he had a smile on his face. A very frustrating man.
“North. Definitely not the shortest route to civilization,” she stated when he turned onto the main road.
“Nope, but it’s the shortest to Interstate Ten and New Mexico. Rain’s letting up.”
“Can I eat now? I know you can’t, but I’m starving.” She didn’t wait for approval, glad that the pork chop was something she could hand him later to eat on his own. “Juliet was nice to make us homemade biscuits. I haven’t had peppered gravy like that since high school.”
“Trying to torture me with talk of food? I snuck an extra one when I grabbed the water. Got some of that gravy, too.”
Frustrating. Now all she could think about was thick peppered gravy. The exact type her mother excelled at and she couldn’t personally ever get right. What she wouldn’t give for her mother to be here when the baby came.
No tears. Anything could be on the road now. She needed to see and shouldn’t get all emotional. Just eat and watch.
Living in the mountains, you got used to traveling cautiously around curves and inclines. There were enough of both to slow you to a snail’s pace with even a smidgen of bad weather. Cord was a great driver and wisely braked at the right places.
A lot of time had passed, but they hadn’t driven far in the rain, looking for fallen rocks and debris. Kate had been watching carefully but was scared witless when Cord brought the Jeep to a skidding halt on a desolate stretch of road.
“Should I ask what you see that I don’t?”
“Backup lights around the next curve.”
“Someone’s waiting for us? How did they know?” She saw his raised eyebrow with the glow of the dash lights until he pushed the button cutting everything off. “This doesn’t mean anything, Cord. Nick’s place is the closest around. They must have been watching. No one there called Serna’s men.”