by Desiree Holt
“Maybe a little,” he waffled.
“Didn’t I read where Joe blew out his knee after five years in the NFL and had to retire?”
Chase nodded. “He did. But his agent got him a great gig with Fox Sports. He has an interview program called Inside the Helmet.”
“I’ll have to look for it in the guide and watch it. What about Jake?” She snapped her fingers. “Oh, wait. Didn’t I read last year he suffered a Joe Theismann injury that ended his career?”
“Yes, you did.” Chase remembered reading all about that. He’d even sent Jake some texts, hoping to cheer him up a little.
“So what’s he doing now?”
“Well, he doesn’t really like people to bang the drum for him, but he and his fiancée run a foundation for victims of domestic violence. It supports a shelter he established that is state of the art. He travels around the country talking to groups about it.”
“Wow. I’m impressed.” She chewed and swallowed another bite of her hamburger. “Do you still keep in touch with him, or any of the others?”
“Sort of. Joe’s wife is a graphic designer. She set up a Facebook page for the team, and I check in once in a while. But enough about me. Let’s talk about Holly Funchess, the firefighter. What’s that all about?”
She studied his face as if looking for some clue that he was going to give her the “women shouldn’t be firefighters” lecture.
“Didn’t you ever have a dream?” she asked. “Something you wanted to accomplish in your life?”
To make his coach and his dad proud of him. Was that the same thing?
“I suppose.” He chewed another bite and swallowed thoughtfully. “I don’t think the Guard was always a dream but when my coach told me about it I knew it was a perfect fit for me.”
“That’s how I feel about firefighting, except I can’t ever remember a time when it wasn’t my dream.” She dipped a fry in ketchup and licked off the red sauce before taking a bite.
Jesus! Chase was shocked at the spear of lust that stabbed him and sent his cock into full attention mode. What the fuck? This was just supposed to be two people having food and conversation. She was so not his type. He sent a stern message to his errant body part.
“You’re lucky. A lot of people never get to realize their dream. Or if they do, discover either they aren’t good at it or it’s not what they want.”
“Oh, it’s what I want all right,” she assured him. “It’s everything I want. It’s my life.”
“No guys hanging around?” Now why did he ask that? There was no fucking reason he should even care. This was one…whatever it was. Once and done. “Nobody special in your life?”
For a brief moment he thought he saw pain flash across her face, but then it was gone.
“If I had anyone special in my life, I wouldn’t be sitting in this place with you,” she pointed out.
“Not even if you told him this was just two people having something to eat?” Why was he pushing it?
Shut up, Chase.
“Not even. Anyway, relationships are messy and usually disappointing.” She devoured another fry. “What about you? I can’t see a guy as good looking as you, especially one who comes with a uniform, free as a bird.”
Good looking? She thought he was good looking?
Hey, Chase. Just two people getting some food, remember? It doesn’t matter shit what she thinks of you.
“I like it that way,” he answered at last. “Although if my friends had anything to do with it, that wouldn’t last very long. I just believe long term is highly overrated. Besides, I have a permanent partner. The Coast Guard.”
She widened her eyes. “You too?”
“What do you mean?” He took another big bite of his burger.
“I mean the friend thing. The partner thing. Remember what I said about Adara doing her best to hook me up with someone?”
“Oh, yeah. Right.”
“Well, I already have a permanent partner, just like you. Mine is firefighting. But she won’t let it go, no matter how many times I tell her I’m not interested. Ever. At all.”
Chase burst out laughing. “You met John McFarland. He’s the one pushing me to do something.” He took a swallow of his drink. “I keep telling him I’m not in the market for anything more than casual. I have the same opinion of relationships that you do. The Guard has become for me what firefighting always has been for you. But try to get him to understand that and get off my back.”
They stared at each other for a long moment as Chase grappled with an idea that had exploded in his head. It was absurd and outrageous and she’d probably think he was batshit crazy, but the words popped out of his mouth before he could stop them.
“Maybe we can give them what they want and still protect ourselves.”
Holly put her burger back down on her plate and studied him. “Oh? Exactly what does that mean?”
“They want each of us coupled up so badly? Okay, listen. What if we make a pact, here and now, to become a couple, just like they want. We’ll go places together, have fun, but we both know we’re just doing it as friends. Nothing with a future.”
He wanted to pat himself on the back for such a brilliant idea. But what if Holly didn’t want to go along with it? He waited, almost holding his breath.
“It would get everyone off our backs,” she said at last in a slow voice, nodding. “But we don’t really know anything about each other. What if this is a mistake and after two dates we hate each other?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think that will happen. I figure if we made it through the burgers and fries without one of us walking away, we might have something here. A friendship,” he reiterated.
The silence stretched out for so long Chase was sure he’d made a mistake. He cast about for a graceful way to exit the situation.
“Okay,” she said at last. “I’ll give it a shot. It’ll be nice to spend time with someone without worrying every minute about what they want and what they’re thinking.”
“I agree with you 100 percent.” Wait. That didn’t come out quite the way he wanted it to. “Not that I wouldn’t always be concerned that things were okay with you. If we’re going to spend time together, it means treating each other in a proper manner. I would always do that.”
Holly laughed, that warm sound that made his balls tingle and his blood fizz. And damn! Was he making a mistake here? He needed to give his body a lecture if they went forward with this.
“You sound like an ad for online dating, but I get what you mean. Okay, I’m game if you are.” She held out her hand across the table.
Chase shook it, noticing it had a softness to it despite the calluses he was sure were from the equipment she used.
“So it’s a deal?”
She nodded. “Deal.” Then she retrieved her hand and took another bite of her burger.
“Okay, then.”
But the minute the words were out of his mouth a chill gripped him. What if this was a huge mistake? Did he really know what he was getting into with her? What if the next time they were together it all blew up in his face? Maybe he should just call it off now.
Chicken. The voice in his head prodded him. He deliberately silenced it and popped a french fry in his mouth. But he wondered as he chewed if he’d committed to something that was a hundred degrees opposite from what he wanted. And how he’d handle it if that was true.
Chapter 8
I just know this is a big mistake. Large mistake. Even huge mistake.
Holly had been telling herself the same thing all week. She’d been ready to try out her new situation with Adara, take it for a test drive, so to speak, but her friend came down with the flu. That meant Holly went to Pump It Up by herself.
The up side was the two times she’d managed it, Chase had been there, and they’d gone for coffee afterward. She discovered how nice it was to talk to a man without worrying if he was just wasting her time until he could
get her into bed, maybe wondering what sex was like with a firefighter. Both times they’d made it early nights because they had full schedules, but the getting to know each other was going so smoothly she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
She found herself at ease with Chase, willing to talk about herself more than she had to anyone, even Cliff. Of course she avoided the specific situation that had changed her life. She had the sense that he too had something he’d buried deep and didn’t want to drag out into the light of day. It felt good to relax with him, to not have to be “on” all the time. Holly was well aware men like Chase—good looking, sexy, macho—were just looking for eye candy, sexy and striking women who made a statement about the man’s ability to attract them. She was way out of that ballpark. She knew it and didn’t try to be anything but who she was—Holly Funchess, firefighter and hopefully nice person.
He didn’t want anything from her except her friendship. Didn’t want to fit her into some kind of mold. She could relax and be herself, which in itself was a gift. She was who she was, comfortable in her own skin, and that’s who she would always be.
When he said he’d like to take her to dinner, sort of their first official date, for a moment her stomach clenched and she froze. But then she remembered she had nothing to worry about. Friends, she reminded herself. This would just be like going out for coffee but with a meal first. Like hamburgers at Ralph’s only a little more elaborate.
This will be fun. I know it will. Not a mistake at all.
“Talking to yourself, Holly?”
Well, yes, as a matter of fact. She’d been having a lot of conversations with herself. However, she wasn’t aware she was mumbling her thoughts as she and Cliff policed the truck after the latest callout. Well, crap.
“Just enjoying my own conversation,” she joked.
“See, that’s the thing.” He leaned against the rig. “Do you ever think if you had some guy in your life you’d have a real person to exchange words with?”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She supposed this was as good a time as any to start the gossip ball rolling and hopefully get people to back off her social life.
She stepped closer to him, not wanting to advertise her business all over the firehouse. “Actually, Mr. Nosy Parker, I have a date tonight. Does that shock your socks off?”
“A date?”
“Shh.” She looked around to make sure they weren’t overheard.
“Well, well, well.” His mouth turned up in a slow grin. “Should I say congratulations?”
“Damn, Cliff.” She gritted her teeth. “You act as if it’s a real big deal. It’s just a date, not a lifetime commitment.”
“I didn’t say it was.” A sober look washed over his face. “You know I only want the best for you, kiddo, right? It’s hard watching you close yourself of from any kind of situation.”
“I’ve had dates before,” she pointed out.
“But not for a long time,” he reminded her. “I was starting to wonder if you were giving it up for good.”
She let out a long sigh. “Let’s just say I’m being picky, can we? And I repeat again, it’s just a date.”
Just like the other night had been just coffee, then a burger, and then what she was coming to think of in her mind as the pact. She had never had a friendship with a male that also included some form of dating, which she supposed this was. Or not.
Yes, Holly, Miss Smarty Pants. Exactly what is it, anyway?
All she wanted was an uncomplicated life without the hassle of an intimate situation. She would never again adapt herself to something just because someone else wanted it. She felt that as much about her parents as she did about Brad. She was her own person in her own chosen career and in control of her own life. That’s the way it was going to stay. At least she could be pretty certain that in her “relationship” with Chase or whatever they chose to call it, none of those problems would pop up. It actually made her a little giddy to think about it. After all, he really was Mr. Hot Guy. If she’d been at all interested in an intimate relationship, he’d be at the top of her list.
“Hey, Holly.”
Cliff’s voice startled her out of her mental wanderings. She blinked. “Oh, uh, sorry. Just spaced out for a second.”
He chuckled. “Thinking about your hot date?”
Yes, but she wouldn’t tell him. Instead she shook her head.
“No, for some reason today’s callout jumped into my head.”
Some idiot had floored his SUV in a parking garage, missed the curve to a lower floor, and smashed into the outer concrete half wall. Getting him out first and then his car had been a pain in the ass. She didn’t mind helping people. That was what she did. But it irritated her when they used up the fire department’s valuable time because of people’s own stupidity.
“I hear you.” Cliff sighed. “Bet that guy is more careful next time.”
She snorted. “I wouldn’t bet on it.”
“Changing the subject. Have you heard the latest reports from the wildfires in the northern part of the state?”
She shook her head. “All I know is they’re pretty bad.”
“Yeah.” Cliff rubbed his jaw. “Problem is with it being so dry the blaze is hard to contain.”
“I hope everyone is praying for water.” She knew exactly the kind of devastation that wildfire was causing. Pictures had been all over the news.
“If it gets worse, it’ll be all hands on deck,” he said.
“You mean we might get called up there to help?” Her nerves jangled at the thought.
Cliff shrugged. “Maybe. We’ll see. It’s happened a couple times before.” He forced a grin. “Didn’t mean to put a frown on your date night.” He paused. “Listen, Holly, you know I want you to have a good life, right?”
Holly stared at him. Where was this going? “What’s the deal here, Cliff?”
“It’s just—Chase DeMarco seems like a great guy, but what do you really know about him?”
“Oh, for cripes’ sake. I’m not planning to marry him, Cliff. Just go out to dinner.”
His craggy face creased in a smile. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, kiddo.”
Damn. She had told him about Brad in a very weak moment on a very bad night. Now he was acting like her keeper.
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “And I’ll just be prepared in case anything comes up. I’m good to go.”
“Okay, okay. And thanks.”
She stashed the last of the equipment she was cleaning, dusted off her hands, and turned back to Cliff. “I’m done for the day, my friend. You have a good night.”
“You too,” he called as she walked away.
Yes, she hoped that she did too.
She had yet to tell Adara about her “situation” with Chase. She had no intention of explaining the reality of what the two of them had agreed to. Still, she needed something logical to explain her about face as far as Mr. Hot Guy was concerned. If luck was with her, she’d get home and changed and be on her way before her friend decided to come pester her. Chase had wanted to pick her up, but she wasn’t quite ready for things to be that formal yet. If she met him, she could pretend she was meeting a girlfriend.
Oh, right, idiot. Chase DeMarco is hardly like anybody’s girlfriend.
Still, it kept within the parameters of what they’d set up. Parameters she felt comfortable with. She wasn’t ready by any means to put her trust in another man. So this was good. All very good.
Tonight they’d be eating at a restaurant on the water she was familiar with. She liked that it was a casual environment, nothing too fancy. It made it seem less like that dreaded word—date! She showered in record time, then dithered about her clothes, finally settling on her new skinny jeans, a green silk tank, and high heeled sandals. She gave her hair a good brushing so it hung silky and smooth past her shoulders, applied her usual mascara and lip gloss, and she was ready to leave before a
nyone could catch her. She almost made it too. She had just left her apartment headed toward her car when Adara whipped into an empty slot, hopped out, and planted herself in front of Holly.
“Are you going someplace for fun without me?” she challenged, grinning. “I came over to see if you wanted to grab some dinner, and look at you all decked out. You weren’t going someplace without me, were you, girlfriend?”
“I, uh…”
“I thought we could maybe grab a bite,” Adara went on, as if Holly hadn’t said a thing. “After we can go to a new place I heard about to hang out for a while.” She winked. “Scuttlebutt says some hot guys hang out there.”
“Puhleeze.” Holly shook her head. “I’ve had enough of these fun new places. El Caliente finished me for a while.”
“Oh, come on, party pooper. We’ll check it out, and if it’s too over the top or a bust, we’ll head out somewhere else. Come on, Hol. It’s Friday night. I’m ready for fun. And it looks like you’re all set for it, dressed and ready to go.”
Holly kept heading for her car, Adara on her heels still talking. At last she had the door unlocked and slid in behind the wheel.
“Okay,” Adara said. “We’ll take your car. Makes no never mind to me.”
“Wait.” Holly had the window rolled down. “Addie, stop a second. I have something to tell you.”
Adara huffed with impatience. “What? I want to get going. I’m hungry and the fun is waiting.”
“I can’t go with you tonight.” She stuck her key in the ignition and waited for her friend’s reaction.
Adara’s jaw dropped. “You what? Can’t go with me? Why the hell not? We always go out together.”
“I, um, have a date.” There. She’d said the word.
Adara’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “A date? Damn, Holly. Holding out on me? Who with? One of the guys at the firehouse?”
“Of course not. That would be a recipe for disaster.”
“Then who?” Adara demanded. “Where have you been that I don’t know about? Come on. Give me a name.”
“It’s, uh, with the guy from Pump It Up.” She cranked the engine, anxious to make her getaway.