by Kim Lawrence
‘Well, cheers to me.’
She looked at him, her brow furrowed.
‘It’s my birthday.’
‘Seriously?’
He arched a satirical brow. The emotions that lay just below the smile in his eyes sent a deep shiver rippling through her body, like the silver light on the moonlit sea.
‘I’d forgotten.’
‘How can you forget your birthday?’ In her family birthdays were a big deal. Last year was the first one that she and Lara had not celebrated together.
‘A lot of things have been happening.’
‘Well, happy birthday.’ It sounded inane.
He responded with a tilt of his head. ‘It is certainly one I won’t forget.’
‘What did you do on your last birthday?’
‘Actually I do remember that one. I spent it in bed.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘YOU WERE ILL?’
There was a moment’s startled silence that was broken by his laughter. It was pitched low but an unexpected lull in the conversation on the tables around them had made the sound travel.
‘Then why were you—?’ she began, then stopped, her eyes flying wide as understanding dawned. The hot mortified colour flew to her cheeks and with it came a breath-catching knife thrust of concentrated corrosive jealousy.
The blush fascinated him... Did it go all over? His eyes dropped, the laughter fading from his face replaced by something much harder as his glance fell and lingered on the upper slopes of her breasts, where they strained against the silky green fabric.
Lily reacted to his glance as if it were a caress. She had zero control over the reaction of her disastrously receptive body to the brush of his eyes and she lifted her hand far too late to hide it from him.
‘Oh.’
The sound that left his throat this time was more growl than laugh. It made the fine downy hairs on her body lift from her sensitised skin. When his eyes lifted and levelled on hers, they were several shades darker.
‘Relax. I’ve never expected a woman to sleep with me for the price of a dinner.’ He lifted his glass with a clink of ice. ‘That’s not to say an evening hasn’t occasionally concluded that way,’ he drawled provocatively.
‘I can imagine,’ she snapped back and lifted her chin, unwittingly drawing his attention to the long, lovely line of her graceful neck. ‘So long as you know that this one isn’t.’ In her head the delivery had been amused but to her frustration when it actually left her lips the comment was throaty...a little breathless.
His thoughts swung back to earlier when he had arrived at the hotel just as she’d emerged. That traffic-stopping dress that hugged the curves of her body and the long, sinuous line of her endless legs.
Unable to control the consequences of the testosterone rush her emergence had produced, he had been forced to remain in his seat and let her climb in with the help of the porter.
For a man who prided himself on his self-control the drive to the harbour restaurant had been new territory. Rather than subside, his painful arousal had become excruciating when she’d slid in beside him. She’d smelled delicious. And he’d itched to touch the silk of her dress and everything beneath...
It had taken the rest of the journey to get his libido in check—not that the hunger had gone away. His lowered heavy lids did not completely hide the gleam in his eyes as he studied her, trying to work out what it was about her. Beyond the blindingly obvious—this was way more than her looking like an advert for sin—what was it that made him feel so out of control?
Just when he needed it, his ability to see beyond his own emotional reaction to a situation and apply clear-headed logic deserted him. He inhaled and dragged his eyes clear of the sensuous soft trembling outline of her lips and growled a soft warning.
‘Be careful, Lily, some men might take that as a challenge.’
Lily, who was already regretting the comment that had invited his response, shook her head and kept her voice carefully flat as she responded, ‘It wasn’t.’
Hands clenched, she dabbed her tongue to the beads of sweat along her upper lip. She could control her voice, but her traitorous thoughts were another matter entirely.
And this definitely wasn’t what she wanted, she reminded herself as she studied the tablecloth. Some complications she had no control over; this was one she did. All it required was a little willpower, a little self-control.
Emmy was their link; their roles as her parents needed to be strictly defined.
The only problem was that when he looked at her that way her self-control went on holiday.
The first challenge was to hide the chain reaction that had begun as a tremor in the pit of her belly. It was now spreading until her skin was prickling with sensation and she was shaking inside and out. It was terrifying to feel this much and he wasn’t even touching her.
‘I thought it might be my birthday present.’ His voice was light, but the accompanying gleam in his eyes was anything but.
She shook out her napkin and dabbed her lips. ‘I wonder where the ladies’ room is?’ she said, following up her comment with an ostentatious glance over each shoulder.
She had half risen to her feet when her glance connected with his. Without warning her knees folded and she sat down with a gentle thud. The explicit gleam of hunger in his eyes had a paralysing effect.
Without breaking eye contact he clicked his long fingers.
‘Bill, please.’
Lily watched through her lashes as he placed a wad of notes on the plate, not even looking at the denominations, though from the waiter’s expression there were way too many.
‘We’re going?’
He arched a dark brow. ‘You want to stay?’
Lily looked at him and wished she didn’t know what she wanted. ‘I thought you were hungry.’
‘I am.’
Their glances connected, startled green on smouldering blue, and though her insides dissolved she ignored the sensation and didn’t ask him to explain the comment. She already knew and to admit it would have made the return journey more awkward. It was easier to ignore the elephant in the room.
As it was they completed the trip in total silence and to hear him finally break it made her start violently.
‘We’re here.’
Ben pulled the car to a halt; without the engine noise everything seemed very quiet. She could hear her own heartbeat and the distant sound of the ocean.
Disorientated, she looked around. ‘But—’ She stopped, realising that he hadn’t driven through the main gates. He’d turned the vehicle down a dirt track that came to a dead end in the trees. Through the leafy canopy she could make out the outline of her bungalow.
‘Right, thanks.’
‘I wanted to ask something...’
Her heart started to thud; in the darkness his blue eyes were hypnotically dark. A wave of longing rolled over her, blanking all logical thought. ‘What?’
‘I wondered if you had a photo of Emily Rose that I could have?’
And straight away she was back to reality. He was thinking about Emmy and she... Lily’s skin burned with mortified heat as she tipped her head. She was just relieved that she hadn’t lunged at him like some sex-starved teenager. ‘Of course, I brought some with me.’
‘I’ll stop by tomorrow to pick it up. Have a think about what we’ve discussed. You can tell me how you feel about what I’ve said tonight... I don’t want you to feel that I’m pushing you.’
‘Yes, that would be...’ she took a deep breath ‘...fine.’
She closed her eyes and stayed where she was, calling herself all kinds of fool, while he walked around to her side of the car.
Without the headlights it was dark, but as he reached the passenger side a shaft of moonlight pierced the leafy canopy, pi
cking out the slim figure poised to jump down.
A deep breath rattled deep in his chest. The light shone straight through the green fluttering dress, outlining the sinuous softness of her slim body, and simultaneously lust slammed through him.
It was a bad idea on more levels than he could count. But this was not about right or wrong, it was about the hunger seeping into every cell of his body—some more than others!
He knew the sex would be great—more than great—but then what...?
How many excellent working relationships had he seen go bad because the people involved fell into bed? When things went wrong, as they inevitably did, the recriminations and the name-calling started... Hell, no, nightmare! He had to think long term. It was going to be hard enough to establish a relationship with his daughter without adding any more obstacles.
‘Careful, there’s a bit of a hole here.’ He held out his arms and she automatically stepped into them.
Her timing was slightly off and the collision that made him take a step back caused the breath to exit her lungs in a soft whoosh as their bodies connected. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled.
His response was to draw her closer to his body until she was plastered up against him like a second skin. She was painfully aware of the rock-hard imprint of his erection in her belly. A small whimper left her lips as she pressed her face for a moment into his shoulder and, squeezing her eyes closed, stayed there.
‘You all right?’ He curved a big hand around her face, drawing it up to him.
The almost tenderness in his voice filled her throat with emotion. Combined with the hot lust pumping through her veins, it rendered her dumb and pliable as a marionette.
His breathing got louder and faster as she tapped into hidden reserves and drew back a little.
‘This is a bad idea, Ben,’ she whispered, thinking it was more than bad—insane really.
As if things weren’t complicated enough.
‘Agreed.’ He nodded, tightening his arm around her ribcage. ‘Bad idea...’
Lily didn’t fight the constraint. Instead she lifted the hand that was not trapped between her body and him and touched the hard, abrasive angle of his jaw. ‘Really bad.’ Stretching her body up in an arc, she pressed a hard kiss on his mouth.
He let out a low half-growl, half-moan and then released her. He grabbed her hand and headed to the bungalow. Unable to keep up with his long-legged pace, Lily had to trot alongside panting.
They arrived at the bungalow hand in hand and breathless. He turned and looked at her, the raw desire written into the hard lines of his face, and the hungry glow in his eyes made her insides dissolve. Lily closed her eyes and whimpered, feeling the brush of his lips on her eyelids before he scooped her up and carried her inside.
Kicking the door closed behind them, Ben looked around. ‘Where’s the bed?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she murmured indistinctly.
Ben nodded and sank down to the floor with her in his arms; kneeling, he laid her down. Lily lay there on the polished boards, her breasts lifting in time to her uneven, laboured breathing. A strange enervating weakness seemed to have invaded her limbs. The entire surface of her body prickled with a sensual awareness. One arm flung above her head, the other held in a tight clenched fist on her chest, she watched through half-closed eyes as he knelt over her and fought his way out of his shirt.
The rippling perfection of his taut, lean body took her breath away and pushed her deeper into the sensual vortex of her own desire. He looked like some pagan god.
‘You’re so beautiful!’ She struggled to force the words past the aching occlusion in her throat. She reached up and ran her fingers down the hair-roughened ridge of his ribbed belly, then, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his linen trousers, she pulled him down.
Ben, a dark slash of colour crossing the contours of his cheekbones, slid one hand under her lower back to cushion the impact as his body pushed her into the ground. With a grunt he rolled her onto her side so that they were facing each other.
She could feel his hands shaking as he reached for the tie on her halter dress. She was shaking all over too. She lay there weak with wanting as he kissed his way down the curve of her neck. When he reached the pulsing hollow at the base of her throat, he peeled down the top to her waist, exposing her breasts.
He gave a long shuddering sigh that seemed to be wrenched from deep inside him. ‘So beautiful, Lily.’ Her femininity touched him in a deep place. He didn’t think of it as his soul; it would make this something it wasn’t... Sex, this was just sex—great sex, granted. ‘You’re so totally...’ Lost for words, he made his kisses speak for him.
The wild onslaught took her breath away. Limbs locked, mouths sealed, they kissed with a frantic, wild abandon until Ben levered himself off her and reached for the button on his trousers.
Anxious to be rid of the barrier between them, she lifted her hips to slide the dress down over them. Before she had managed to wriggle free there was a sound. She didn’t register it at first...and then as the noise penetrated the layers of sexual thrall that gripped her, she stopped and looked around.
What was she doing?
The journey from hot, passionate arousal to cold, horrified self-disgust took a single heartbeat. She pulled herself onto her knees and sat there, her arms crossed over her bare breasts.
‘What the hell...?’ Breathing hard, the testosterone in his blood still surging painfully through his body, he struggled to make sense of what was happening. She’d been with him every step of the way; he knew she had. So what had changed?
There was another knock on the door. This time he heard it too.
Without looking at him, Lily pulled the bodice of her dress up and tied it. She walked across the room and paused at the door, smoothing her hair before taking a deep breath. She opened it and immediately stepped outside, quickly closing it behind her to hide Ben from the person standing there.
It was the hotel manager. Her smile faded the moment she saw his face illuminated by the overhead light. At her sides her hands clenched.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing to worry about.’
The jovial assurance filled her with instant trepidation.
‘Your mother has been trying to contact you. As you probably know we have had a problem with the Internet connection, so she left a message for you to contact her.’
Alarm bells ringing a deafening peal in her head, Lily resisted the tug of total panic, though her voice sounded unnaturally shrill to her ears as she asked, ‘Now?’
The man looked relieved that she wasn’t panicking. If only he knew!
‘If you’d like to use the landline? My office is at your disposal.’
Lily, her heart thudding sickly, nodded. ‘I’ll just get my jacket.’
The man walked down the steps as she nipped back inside. She closed the door and leaned against it, eyes shut.
‘What’s wrong?’ Bare-chested, Ben walked across the room; the frustration that had gripped him had vanished the moment he saw her.
Lily opened her eyes and looked at him blankly. It seemed to him almost as though she had forgotten he was there.
‘I don’t know,’ she said, peeling her back from the door. ‘But apparently my mother has been trying to contact me. There’s no mobile signal and the Internet has been playing up so I’m going to the hotel to call her back.’
‘Don’t overreact,’ he advised. ‘It might be nothing.’
She rounded on him, eyes blazing. ‘Of course it’s something. Don’t patronise me.’
‘Emily Rose?’
Icily composed now, she nodded. ‘Probably.’ Her daughter needed her, and she’d been... She pressed a hand to her stomach as self-loathing made the muscles tighten and she pushed through a wave of nausea.
Ben reached for his shirt, his eyes on her paper-pale face as he dressed. ‘I’ll come with you.’
Lily’s chin had dropped on her chest but came up sharply now as she blurted forcefully, ‘No!’
The rejection hit him at a level he didn’t analyse, but there was pain involved. ‘You can’t be alone—’
‘I’ve been alone for three years.’
Ben flinched.
‘I need to do this alone.’
There was a pause before he tilted his head in acknowledgement. ‘I’ll be here if you need me.’
‘Thanks, but it’s probably nothing,’ she said, her laugh brittle. ‘Mum’s probably lost her favourite toy and she won’t go to sleep without it.’
‘You’re probably right, but I’ll hang around until you get back, if that’s all right?’
‘There’s really no need.’
‘There’s really no need for you to do this alone,’ he countered.
She lifted her chin. ‘It’s what I do.’
Ben watched as she joined the suited figure waiting on the path. He stayed there until they were swallowed up by shadows.
Frustration gnawed at him as he began to pace the room. The calm detachment with which he tackled difficult moments eluded him. Her rejection of his assistance had got to him more than he was prepared to admit. Was she trying to prove a point...to herself...to him? He had no idea; he just wished she’d not chosen this moment to do it.
As the minutes ticked by he kept seeing her scared face, feeling the same rush of unaccustomed protectiveness that had taken him totally unawares...and her efforts to put a brave face on it when she was clearly terrified... What if it turned out she had reason to be?
Ben managed to contain his frustration for five minutes before he followed her. She didn’t want his help? Too bad, she had it.
He stopped short of actually entering the building, contenting himself with waiting outside. He had worn a path in the greenery by the time she appeared.
He raised a hand and after a short pause Lily walked across to him.
Her face, pale and strained, said it all.
‘I need to get back to England.’