He looked up when Baruch shouted from the corner.
“Like this?”
Keely had the brochure opened and flattened out on the coffee table before he could round the countertop. Her jubilant expression helped to settle his breathing.
“Oh, yeah. This is it.” She tapped her finger on the left side of the paper. “Look. It says there are four lodges on the property. Thankfully, they’re positioned on the outer edges and far from one another. That means the red dot right here is our lodge. There’s no way we went that far south to the Elk Ridge location. Nope. We have to be at Sky View Mesa.” She lifted her head and grinned.
Makar fought from dropping to his knees, grabbing her upturned face, and kissing the hell out of her. Her sea-green eyes were sparkling, perfect white teeth gleaming behind dusky pink lips, and cheeks flushed with excitement at her discovery. He craved the feel of her soft lips against his again. Warmth traveled through his chest, and his core seemed to turn over on itself. He gasped at the exquisite sensation.
Finally.
Makar glanced to Baruch and responded to the silky word that had pushed effortlessly through his mind.
What?
I felt it. The last wall has dropped. She’s in. You love her.
Makar looked away from those knowing gray eyes and settled on the floor next to Keely as she continued to study the map.
There were never any walls, just caution.
Call it what you want, Makar. You’re now feeling what I have from the second I spotted her. Overwhelming, isn’t it?
Gods! I had no idea the depth this could go. Should I feel guilt that the impact is far greater than I’ve ever experienced? I don’t know what to do with this, amici.
Don’t question it, Makar. I just see it as a true balance to our shared energy. We’re finally in harmony. We should embrace it.
Unable to comprehend that their mating with Tianus may not have sufficiently aligned their dual essence, Makar refocused his attention to Keely, grasping for anything to distract his addled brain.
“How did you know what to do?” Keely’s tinkling laughter helped to sooth his nerves.
“It was easy, silly. They have a very good legend written on the side and pretty little red dots showing major locations.”
“No, I mean when Baruch was bitten. How did you know?”
“Oh! That. I was raised on a farm. My aunt and uncle ran cattle, and one of the hands was bitten when they were getting the brands out of the shed. I saw my uncle do the same thing so the guy had half a chance of surviving before they could get him to the hospital. We lived a ways out from town. I guess his actions made a lasting impression. I was only fifteen when it happened.”
Makar was still staring at her pretty lips when he finally realized Baruch was at the kitchen window and cursing under his breath. Keely’s eyes widened.
“What?”
“There’s a truck coming up the road. Maybe they’ll pass…nope. They’re pulling up to the barn.”
Snatching the duffel and shoving Keely’s purse inside, Makar turned and grabbed her free hand. She clutched the brochure in the other and remained silent as he dragged her out of the front door, Baruch hot on their heels. Peering around the terrace, they all sighed in relief when a tall woman with short hair and dressed in jeans and a purple T-shirt approached the barn instead of turning toward the house. She had a bag of seed clutched in her fist. Focused on the happy chickens gathering around her ankles, she failed to notice the broken lock dangling on the barn door. As soon as she disappeared around the corner, they hightailed it toward the road.
Sticking to the edge of the forest, they kept within the shadow of the trees. Thirty minutes later, Baruch halted and gently pulled Keely into a squatting position. Makar stayed upright and peered around a tree.
“Vehicle coming. It’s the black truck. It’s not hauling ass, and the female doesn’t look to be overly excited.” As soon as the transport became a small dot on the long road, Makar moved away from the tree and plopped down next to Keely, now sitting cross-legged and studying the map.
“Okay, we can safely assume she was just there to feed the chickens. If she’d found the broken lock or had discovered some missing food, I’m sure she’d been in a different state of mind. I know I would.” She lifted the map, pointed to a thin yellow line, and then gestured to the road.
“This has to be FM 169. It runs along the edge of the park where it’ll intersect with FM 170. That one is close to the river. If I’m judging correctly, we have about three miles before that happens. Once there, we take a right, and Presidio’s about five miles further.” She stood up, brushed off her jeans, and started making her way out of the forest.
“Come on, guys. I’m sticking to flat ground. I don’t want to fall in a hole or trip over something and break my freaking ankle again. I’m done with forests for a while. You game?”
Makar chuckled and joined their little minx as she sashayed her cute butt down the road. “Definitely. We’ll follow you anywhere and anytime. Lead the way, sweetness.”
* * * *
“Uh, guys? I don’t think it’s necessary to keep holding my hands. I admit I got a little freaked when that coyote jumped out of the brush, but I’m good. Geez. That was miles back. You can let go now.”
Makar held on when she tried to pull her hand away. “We like it. Are you saying that you don’t?” He chuckled when she rolled her eyes.
“No, I’m not saying that. Uh…it’s just hard to get someone to give us a ride when I don’t have use of my thumb.”
Baruch laughed. “Give it up, Keely. Ever since we got on FM 170, not one car slowed down when you did that. If you keep giving the signal that all is well, they’ll never stop.”
Keely failed miserably in trying to curtail her laughter. They released her hands so she could compose herself.
“No, silly. Holding the thumb up when you’re on the side of the road is completely different. It means we need a lift somewhere. I don’t know why I bothered anyway. My method isn’t the problem, it’s you two.” She started walking again before he could recapture her fingers.
Frowning, Makar caught up with her. “What did we do wrong? We’re just walking alongside you.”
“My point exactly. I don’t know anyone in their right mind that would let you crawl inside their vehicle. You’re scary.”
Baruch sounded sad as he leaned forward to catch her attention. “You think we’re scary, Keely?”
She glanced up and studied their features before looking back to the road. “No, I’m not scared of either one of you, but I know you, and they don’t.”
“Why would they be fearful? We’ve made no threatening gestures.”
“It’s not that. You look strong enough to toss their vehicle in the ditch. It takes the fear of carjacking to a whole new level.”
Makar chuckled when Baruch straightened and gave her a beaming smile.
“Ah, good. Our presence also informs them not to harm you as well.”
“Well, yeah. There is that. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Getting a lift isn’t my top priority any longer. We’re almost to Presidio. I can see the town from here.”
Reaching down, Makar recaptured her hand, and Baruch did the same.
“Okay, since you no longer need to use your thumb, we’d like to hold your hand again.” She surprised them both by halting in her tracks.
“I think it’s time to have that talk. You guys have to get over this bonding thing. I’m not the right woman for you.”
Makar’s brow lifted. “We’ve already explained this, Keely. You just need more time to think about it.”
Shaking her head, she quit trying to tug her hands away and started walking again.
“Then let me put it another way. You’re not the right ones for me. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Life’s difficult enough as it is. There’s entirely too many dynamics at play in a polyamory relationship.”
Baruch frowned. “A what?”
�
��Not monogamous. More than two involved. What do you guys call it?”
“Happy.”
“Be serious.”
“We are.”
“Okay, wise guys. Can you honestly tell me that you believe a woman can love two men equally?”
Makar answered quickly. “No.”
That got her attention.
“So, you admit it.”
“I admit that my answer only applies to how you perceive this type of love as one-dimensional. You cannot place it on opposing scales and hope for it to balance precisely. The love is a combination of them all. They are one entity to her, and she’s the center for them both. When one is removed from the equation, then you experience the imbalance. Our female needs more than what a single can give her. Where one may be tender and perceptive of her deepest emotions, the other may understand her humor or a particular angst that the other is unable to see.”
Baruch lifted her hand and placed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “Our female may be overly quiet one day and want nothing more than to be coddled, read to, or simply held silently within comforting arms. The male that can easily meet her need will engage with her. On the other hand, she may want to argue to release the stress of the day. I’m usually the one that will eagerly take on that task.”
Keely looked up and frowned. “You like to argue?”
“Ah, no, sweetness, you misunderstand. I’ll not make it worse. I’m there to take the brunt of the rant. I love to see the fire burn brightly in my mate’s eyes as I try to calm her. When she can no longer sustain her anger, I’ll be there to volunteer my body while she unleashes the residual.”
Keely snorted. “You mean sex.”
Baruch waggled his brows. “Oh, yes. Very hot, passionate make-up sex. But I’ll not complain if she just wants to slap the hell out of me. I’ll be there for her in any way she needs me to be.”
“Well…uh…that sounds…interesting. Oh, that brings up another topic. How do you make sure it’s fair when it comes to having sex with your mate? What if she’s pissed for a solid week and you get all the goodies while Makar sits on the sideline? I’m sure he’d get jealous after a spell.”
Makar laughed and squeezed her hand. “It’s a relationship, Keely. It’s not all about sex. There’s no schedule in a multiple relationship any more than you would expect to find in a monogamous one. No one marks a calendar or counts instances. We closely monitor our mate’s needs. If there are opportunities for us to take her together, then we do so. If one of us hasn’t spent enough quality time with her, then we devise scenarios to make that happen. The bottom line is that Baruch and I find pleasure from her happiness. It isn’t about us, it’s all for her.”
Keely was silent for many moments as she digested what they’d revealed. He considered this a good sign. She could have easily scoffed and ended the conversation, but she hadn’t.
Eventually, she raised her head and gave each of them a smug smile before looking forward. Baruch glanced over, brows raised.
Uh-oh.
Don’t freak, yet. I’m sure her next question will be reasonable.
They both tensed when she snorted.
“What if I wanted a third or fourth one added to our little team? How would you handle that?”
Neither one of them could hold back the growl that rumbled from their chests. Baruch was the first to get his thoughts out without too much strain lacing his words.
“Some others on our world have that arrangement, but Makar and I wouldn’t like that. Together, we have sufficient qualities to meet all of your needs.” He cleared his throat before he continued. “You would want such a thing?”
Keely shook her head and chuckled. “Good grief, no. I can’t even handle one relationship. What the hell would I do with three or four? I’d lose my freaking mind.”
Baruch’s shoulders relaxed, yet Makar opted to stay on the wary side. He knew she wasn’t done with her analysis.
“How about children? You said you didn’t have any. Was that a group decision?”
Makar sensed Baruch’s unease. This had always been a touchy subject among them. When Baruch remained silent, Makar decided that it was worth opening that old wound. If they were to ever convince Keely that they could handle a relationship with her, this one thing required discussion.
“Tianus wanted children shortly after our mating. We did convince her to wait a few years while we enjoyed the newness of our time together. Her sisters began providing her parents with grandchildren, and this created urgency within her. At the end of our second year, we discussed the possibility. Baruch declined to move forward. Each year, she brought it up again, and Baruch’s decision remained the same. Tianus was devastated. She stayed at her sister’s for a week and then returned home after much discussion. We never spoke of children again. She passed the next year.”
“I’m sorry, guys. I know this is hard to discuss. We can stop now.”
Baruch shook his head. “No. You need to know everything, Keely. I’m not adverse to children. I want them very much. I chose not to with Tianus until I saw a marked improvement in her personality.”
Makar glanced over, surprised by the statement.
“How so? I understood your reasoning as needing more time together before we brought a new dynamic into our home.”
Baruch nodded. “Exactly. Tianus’s immaturity gave me pause. I was unsure on how she would handle being a mother. She displayed favoritism between us, and I could see her doing the same with our children.”
Pulling everyone to a halt, Makar turned to Baruch. “Explain this to me, amici. You’ve confused me for the first time in ten years.”
Chapter 19
Makar watched closely as Baruch looked to his boots. Whatever he was about to reveal wasn’t easy for him.
“It was subtle, but she would always instigate discussions with you first. I would have to interject to get my ideas across. Sometimes I was the last to know that she’d planned a visit to her parents, or did something as simple as changing the furnishings. I know that she would tell you she’d discussed things with me, but she hadn’t.”
Makar felt his belly roll. “I’m sorry, Baruch. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. I never blamed you. I also kept something else from you. I regret that now. Tianus would show a side of her personality to me that I never witnessed when you were present.”
“Like what?”
“Tianus was very childlike. The second time she wrecked our transport, I refused to let her drive without someone present, and her skills showed marked improvement. I watched her stomp about, scream, and throw things at my head from that simple request. At first, I thought her actions to be a game, but after repeated instances I knew that she had issues.” He turned to Keely, his eyes sad.
“It was different than a normal rant that I portrayed to you earlier. Those never ended well.”
Makar moved closer and laid his palm on Baruch’s shoulder. “Tell me what you endured.”
“She threatened to cut me out of the relationship by finding another to replace me if I didn’t cave on her demands. I knew you wouldn’t let that happen, and she was just being petulant, so that was never a valid concern. I worried for her safety, yet she claimed that I was being overly harsh. She kept saying that you were nicer, and I was the mean disciplinarian. This was her same response for every suggestion I made toward her growth, even when it was something as simple as attending advanced schooling. The more I tried to guide her toward maturity, the further we grew apart.”
Baruch swallowed hard and looked him directly in the eye. Makar could tell these revelations were killing his mate, yet his shoulders appeared to drop, as if a great weight was sliding from them.
“I must admit that in the beginning I was jealous of the calmness of your time with her, not of you directly. After a while, I gave up. I knew that she rewarded me with her affection and attention only because I didn’t press the issue any longer. She could be very sweet and loving in that regard. How
ever, I failed her by not being strong enough.”
Squeezing Baruch’s shoulder, Makar shook his head.
“Aw, no, my brother. You didn’t fail her. The fault lies with her alone. I know your intentions were pure. You always sought to see her happy, just as I did. Why didn’t you come to me? You didn’t have to suffer in this alone.”
“I didn’t want you to think badly of her. I don’t think she meant to hurt my feelings. I did love her, Makar, but she made it very difficult sometimes. Tianus was spoiled long before she came into our lives. This is why I was reluctant to bring children into our home. She had yet to grow up herself.”
A long silent moment passed between them. He opened his essence so Baruch could feel the sadness and remorse he had for not being more attuned to the situation. Perhaps if he’d chosen an alternate introduction to Tianus, she might have seen Baruch as his equal. Now he understood Baruch’s adamant request that Keely be approached differently—as a pair, or not at all. Makar was relieved when Keely stepped closer and patted Baruch’s arm, her voice soft and comforting.
“I could be a complete bitch right now and make all kinds of points toward the increased issues multiple partners must endure, but this could happen just as easily in a monogamous family. Maturity level and communication is crucial for anyone entering a relationship. Yours was just made more difficult because she could use one of you for leverage. Hell, even among singular couples, immature personalities will use any source to achieve their goals. I’m impressed that you identified the trigger that brought about your jealousy, Baruch. You knew not to associate Makar with the feelings you experienced. That’s a very mature reasoning.” Keely linked her arm with his and started walking slowly forward.
“Your failure was in not discussing your concerns with Makar. I think you realize that now. Bringing her antics out into the open could’ve brought about a resolution once she realized Makar wouldn’t tolerate that behavior either. Over time, I’m sure she would’ve understood that her actions were unacceptable.” Keely squealed when Baruch reached over and pulled her into his arms. He planted a sound kiss on her lips and then set her down.
Fueled by Lust: Makar and Baruch (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 17